Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Food and Flirting – “Newly Married” Memories

A Spoof

Circa 1982 
New Delhi

As a newly married couple – my wife and I – along with our pet Lhasa Apso girl Sherry – the three of us  we lived in a lovely one room flat in Curzon Road Apartments in New Delhi. 

It was a fantastic location – in Lutyens Delhi between Connaught Place and India Gate. 

One evening – we were sitting in Nathu’s Sweets – in Bengali Market – one of our favourite places  where we often walked down in the evenings.

There was a group of beautiful girls sitting nearby – and my eyes were focused on them.

Yes – I was ogling at the pretty girls – as most young men do – or want to do.

One girl seemed particularly attractive – and I was staring at her quite blatantly  with frank admiration in my eyes.

My wife followed my gaze.

She was quite amused to see me looking at the pretty girls so intently – especially the yearning look I gave to that most gorgeous girl who seemed to be the object of my attention.

Suddenly – my gaze shifted.

My wife was curious.

She wondered – was there a new object which had captured my attention...?

She followed my gaze – to see where I was looking.

On observing the new object of my attention” – my wife started laughing.

A tray of sweets was being brought from the kitchen – and my eyes had locked on to the mouthwatering sweets like a Radar locks on to its target.

The tray was heaped with my favourite sweet – the inimitable Lavang Lata (also called “Lavang Latika”) 

Here is a picture of Lavang Lata” (from the internet) 

Lavang Lata

I immediately ordered a plate of the mouthwatering hot syrupy Lavang Lata” filled with delicious spicy flavoured khoya inside – sealed with a clove (lavang).

Soon – I was fully focused on eating my Lavang Lata – totally oblivious to my surroundings.

And – I seemed to have completely forgotten about those beautiful girls sitting on the table nearby.

In fact – I was so absorbed in savouring the delicious Lavang Lata – and I was enjoying the eating experience totally. 

I was so focused on savouring the yummy Lavang Lata  – that I even forgot about my wife sitting opposite me. 

My wife was not quite relishing the dish of Lavang Lata that I had ordered for her (those days she did not like sweets – of course  now  she loves sweets – thanks to me).

My wife interrupted my eating trance and said: “So – it seems that you found the Lavang Lata more enticing than those beautiful girls…” 

“Of course – I love good food – there is no greater love than the love of food…” I said.

And then – while walking back home – I told her about my failed attempts to romance during my Mumbai days.

I explained to her why I preferred food to romance – about my theory:

Food is like a Fixed Deposit versus Romance is like the Stock Market

My wife looked at me and said: 

“Someone had told me that a Naval Officer has a Girl in every Port – but looking at you – I am convinced that you did not have even a single girl in any port – in fact – you must have surely had a “Foodie Joint” in every port…” 


My wife was right – I did not have even a single girlfriend during my bachelor days.

But – after I got married – my luck improved – and – girls wanted to be friends with me – and – slowly but surely – I started having girlfriends.

Today – I have plenty of girlfriends – a few real’ – and – most virtual – especially after the advent of internet – yes  most of my girlfriends are online girlfriends in the virtual world of cyberspace.

It is funny  isn’t it...?

Not a single girl wanted to be my friend before marriage – when I was a most eligible bachelor.

And later – when I was much married – and – no longer eligible – so many beautiful “girls” wanted to be friends with me.

Can someone please explain this paradox girls who avoided me when I was a bachelor – the same girls were ready to befriend me when I was married...!!!

But  let me tell you the one important precaution I take when making friends with girls I get my girlfriends “approved” by my “Better Half.

Yes – all my real life “offline girlfriends” have been duly “Approved” by my “Better Half”.

And – as far as my “online girlfriends” are concerned – I know that my virtual interactions with them are being closely monitored by my “Better Half”. 

Ha Ha – so I can say that all my girlfriends are “duly approved girlfriends.

Yes – if you are a married man  it is always better to get your girlfriends approved by your “Better Half – it is safer that way – you have a clear conscience – and – you can have a transparent friendship – without the fear of being found out”. 

I am sure it is the same with married women too – isn’t it better to get your husband’s approval before having a “Boyfriend”...? 

By the way – my “Better Half” approved of all my “girlfriends – except one. 

Ha Ha – about her – I will tell you soon in my blog.

Till then – have fun – and do tell me if you liked this story of my “Newly Married Life

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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