Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Stress and Anger Management – Goal Oriented Living versus Source Oriented Living

 STRESS MANAGEMENT + ANGER MANAGEMENT 


Dear Reader: I wrote this blog post around 12 years ago when my pet dog Sherry was alive and in full form. Sadly, Sherry passed away to her heavenly abode in December 2014. 

HOW TO MANAGE STRESS and ANGER
GOAL ORIENTED versus SOURCE ORIENTED Living
By
VIKRAM KARVE

If you want to learn the Art of Living just observe the way animals live and react to situations.
 
For me, my pet Doberman girl Sherry is my best teacher on the Art of Living.
 
                                        SHERRY KARVE

Sherry is Doberman X – the “X” factor (father) is probably a Caravan or Mudhol Hound as her mother is a pure Doberman.
 
Sherry behaves spontaneously, joyfully, based on her inner instinct.

She plays, she barks, she chases, she eats and she sleeps in accordance with her natural instinct.

Sherry doesn’t need to go to gym (for physical fitness) or a therapist (for mental fitness).

Sherry is not a Goal Oriented person.  

She is an Inner Resource Oriented person – in short, a Source Oriented person.

Conventional wisdom teaches us to become goal-oriented. 

From childhood there are goals set for us to achieve, and when we achieve one goal there is always another goal waiting for us – it is an endless pursuit, a chase which never culminates. 

We are taught that a goal oriented person is a person who always succeeds in life. 
 
But is there a final destination of success...? 
 
Do you ever reach your final goal...?

Goals are always outside you. 

Goals are in the future. 

Goals are far away from you.  

Your goals are not in your control. 
 
If you design your lifestyle in such a way that your happiness depends on things outside you, things in the future and things not in your control, then you may find happiness elusive and you may never be truly content and happy. 
 
If you are too result-oriented – you will always be chasing horizons.

Remember: 

if you run after something it runs away from you 

and, conversely, 

if you run away from something it runs after you 

So – calm down and stop running and live a more Source-Oriented life.

Look inwards, discover and harness your inner resources, act instinctively and you will realize your full creative potential.

Like my pet dog Sherry, you will live spontaneously, unpredictably, act on the spur of the moment and experience the joy of the glorious uncertainties of life rather than get frustrated by them.

You will live a more stress free life too.

Have you seen wild animals suffering from stress...?

Maybe some domesticated pet animals are stressed-out because we humans put stress on them by imposing our “goals” and demands on the poor hapless pets...!

We have become so preoccupied with achieving success that our lives are always heading towards something in the future.  

In the process, we lose touch with the aliveness and delight of the present. 
 
Sherry does not worry about the future, about achieving future goals, but live in the present.

Sherry does not live in the past either.  

Sherry is very forgiving – even if I scold her, which I never need to do, she is back to her cheerful self in a jiffy and doesn’t hold any grudges either.

Anger is a reality.  

It happens inside us. 
 
Goal Oriented behaviour may result in us trying to suppress our anger which in turn may create stress within us.
 
                                    Sherry - ALL EYES AND EARS

Here is a lesson I got one morning from Sherry in Anger Management by Source Oriented Living.
 
We lived in a spacious bungalow with a huge compound, located high up on a hill slope, with a beautiful panoramic view of the verdant wide green expanse of Girinagar all around right down to the placid blue waters of the Khadakwaska Lake. 

One morning while we strolled on our lawn sipping rejuvenating cups of piping hot amrutatulya tea in the lovely mist and slight drizzle, I noticed Sherry standing alert at the bungalow gate looking intently, focussing on something outside, and gradually getting angry, as evident from her focussed eyes, slow growls, heightened breathing, stiff upright tail and vivid line of hair standing taut on the centre of her neck and back, hackles raised. 

I walked towards the gate and looked outside – the object of her attention was a huge white cat that was walking nonchalantly towards our bungalow gate, almost defiantly. 
 
The moment the cat came close, Sherry suddenly lost her temper, started barking, violently jumping, infuriated with anger, desperately pleading with me to open the gate. 
 
The cat stopped dead in her tracks and crouched, and I knew that if I let Sherry out, she would desperately, furiously and frenziedly chase the cat down the hill, and if she caught the cat, there would ensue a violent fight to the finish, and almost certainly it would be the cat who would be finished. Yes, Sherry would surely finish off the cat, as she had done earlier in the wild.

So I just walked away and Sherry realized that I wasn’t going to open the gate, and she went so wild with rage, that she ran amok, running wildly all round the spacious compound, taking high speed runs, jumping over hedges, barking, chasing, leaping at birds, running fast at top speed round and round the bungalow, till she was totally exhausted, after which she went to her water bowl, lapped up cold soothing water, and lay down on her rug in a cosy manner, calm, tranquil, totally relaxed, her anger totally spent, dissipated and dissolved into peaceful serenity. 

That’s what you must do when you are angry, isn’t it...? 
 
Let me tell you it works - the moment you sense anger rising within you, just start exercising, run, jog, take a brisk walk, dance, move your limbs, sway, do something.
 
Spontaneously do some physical activity till your anger is spent, and the rage built up inside you dissipates, exhausts and disolves itself into a state of calm. 

So, Dear Reader, the next time you start getting angry, do what Sherry does – just start running till your anger disappears and you collapse into a cosy state of peaceful calm and tranquillity. And if you can't run, at least take a brisk walk...just see how physical activity dissipates anger. Yes, let physical activity does help you dissipate your anger, or any negative emotion.
 
It is the same with stress. The moment you feel stress building up, take a brisk walk and see how physical activity dissipates and dissolves stress.

There is a lot to learn about the “Art of Living” from our animal friends, isn’t it...?

So just behave naturally, spontaneously, doing what your inner voice and instinct tells you, observe fauna and flora around you, and most importantly, get a pet dog  and make him or her your friend, philosopher and guide.

I’ll end with a quote on dogs from Sigmund Freud:

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object-relations. 
 
                                 SHERRY with her DADDY
 
So here is a Bow Wow to you from Sherry and she wishes that may you live a happy stress-free dog-like source-oriented life...!!!

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
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Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)


© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Monday, June 14, 2021

Writing for the Digital Screen – Blogging –How to Blog

HOW TO BLOG

Musings on Blogging
By
VIKRAM KARVE

I have got feedback that my blog posts are too long.

I agree.

My span of attention on the screen is much less than my span of attention on paper. 

Also, my eyes get fatigued faster too. 

I noticed this while reading an ebook on my friend’s ebook reader recently and decided to defer buying an ebook reader till I feel more comfortable.

At least, as of now, I prefer to read paper books. 

They say ebooks will soon edge out paper books and the “electronic word” will replace the “printed word”. 

This will surely affect writing style and a wannabe author like me must take note of it.

Brevity, simple words, small paragraphs, light forgettable reads – these seem to be the requisites of new creative writing. 

You are just going to glance through and browse. 

Reading on a screen is something like seeing a movie, in contrast to reading on paper where you can pause, re-read, reflect, assimilate, absorb, ruminate and then let what you have read perambulate in the mind for years to come. 

There will be a paradigm shift in reading style – new-age reading will be hurried, “read and forget” style; not the erstwhile unhurried “read and savour” style. 

Now you have no time to think or to ponder over what you have read – you just want to read and forget, and quickly get on to the next page.

Writers (especially Bloggers) cannot afford to “tax the brain” of the reader. 

This is because of the fact that when you read on a Laptop (or PC screen)  you cannot think as clearly as when you read on paper 

I have noticed this myself during my research work too, when I referred to IEEE journals, which were earlier on paper and now are available online only. 

In fact, on many occasions, I had to download and take printouts of research papers and then meticulously read them later on. (Downloading and printing defeats the very purpose of ejournals and ebooks). 

(In Fact – nowadays – nearly everyone reads on Smartphones - and soon – Blogs will be mainly read on Smartphones and not on Laptops)

Coming back to the topic of print versus digital reading – this imbibing of knowledge is true for creative writing too. 

I still remember stories I have read long back during my schooldays (on paper), but what I read online on the internet I tend forget very fast. 

On the internet, when you read online, on your laptop screen, you tend to read fast, as there seems to be an underlying sense of urgency to finish and go to the next page or website. 

In fact, sometimes I don’t even have the patience to finish what I am reading and want to go to another website. 

Also, there are distractions of enticing advertisements and seductive pop-ups and alluring clickable url links which tend to lure you away to new websites. 

Just imagine reading epics like WAR AND PEACE online. 

Maybe, you’ll have to take a printout and read it in peace, but then that defeats the very purpose of the electronic word and online literature.

Of course, there will be a great advantage if the proliferation of online literature reduces monopolies of the “literary middlemen” like publishers, distributors, editors, agents etc and facilitates seamless interface between authors and readers. 

Look at the phenomenon of blogging, for instance. 

Blogging has made it so easy for so many budding authors to unleash their creativity and display their talent which earlier was very difficult, since the decision whether to publish a literary work or not was exclusively in the hands of editors who formed a barrier between authors and readers. 

Now you can just post your writing on your blog for the world to read, appreciate and, most importantly, give you feedback, since blogging is interactive in nature.

WRITING TRIAD

I once read somewhere that characteristics of good writing can be encapsulated in three factors (Writing Triad):

CLARITY
BREVITY
SINCERITY

BLOGGING TRIAD

Similarly, the three characteristics of good blogging (Blogging Triad) are:

FREQUENCY (of posting)
BREVITY (of posts)
PERSONALITY (of the blog/blogger)


Now let me introspect on my own blogging.

I have been posting quite regularly. 

Yes, my blogging FREQUENCY is quite good.

My blog has a distinctive PERSONALITY

So that point is taken care of.

It is the BREVITY aspect that I have to focus on – most of my posts are too long. 

When reading online one doesn't have the same patience and concentration as one has while reading a book on printed paper.

From now on I will endeavour to keep my blog-posts “short and sweet” – after all – “Brevity is the Soul of Wit”.

But what do I do? 

I hate to “count words”. 

It affects my flow and the quality of my creative writing. 

CREATIVE WRITING versus BLOGGING

(PRINT FICTION versus BLOG FICTION) 

While defining the literary genre “short story” Edgar Allan Poe famously said:

“A short story is a piece of prose fiction which can be read at a single sitting...”

Over the years – the duration of a “single sitting” has reduced drastically.

In the leisurely laid back “good old days” before the advent of modern technology – “one sitting” was probably a few hours – so a short story could be quite long – 5000 words – or even 10,000 words.

With modern living – and as we became “busier” – the duration of a “single sitting” reduced to maybe just 1 or 2 hours – so accordingly – the desired word-lengths of short stories reduced accordingly to around 1000 to 2000 words, depending on the magazine.

Now – with the Information Technology Boom – hardly anyone reads short fiction on the print (paper) medium – people read on digital screens – on laptops – even on hand-held devices like the smartphone – so a writer has to post his stories online on blogs and websites.

In today’s hectic times of “digital literature” – the “span of attention” of the reader is just a few minutes – so now – a “single sitting” means a few minutes.

So – in this era of “Blog Fiction” – the dictum “brevity is the soul of wit” is most relevant – and a writer (blogger) must write a story which can be read in a “single sitting“of a few minutes.

Yes – good “Blog Fiction” means a short story which can be read in a “single sitting” of a few minutes.

That’s what creative writers turned bloggers must try to achieve.

That is what I am trying to achieve – to write really short stories/blog posts which can be read in a single sitting of a few minutes.

Will I succeed...?

Let us see.

But from now on my motto is: “BREVITY IS THE SOUL OF WIT”

EPILOGUE

Tell me, Dear Fellow Bloggers:

Do you have the patience to read a long blog post...? 

Do you find my posts, especially my fiction short stories, interesting...? 

Maybe I should quit blogging and focus on publishing my creative writing in printed books. 

But then how do I reach out to so many readers all over the world...?

It is indeed a Catch-22 situation.

So while I ruminate over this, please advise me and give me your suggestions, my dear readers and fellow bloggers. 

I eagerly await your comments and feedback. 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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Sunday, June 6, 2021

Quality of Life = Standard of Living + Plane of Living

 QUALITY OF LIFE = STANDARD OF LIVING + PLANE OF LIVING


HOW TO ENHANCE YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE
Philosophical Ramblings of a Retired Mind
By
VIKRAM KARVE


PLANE OF LIVING versus STANDARD OF LIVING

Dear Reader – please tell me  what is your plane of living...?

No  dont get me wrong.

I am not asking you about your standard of living

I know you have a decent standard of living.

I am asking you about your plane of living.

Your “standard of living” depends of various material factors like how much money you earn and wealth you have, where you live, the possessions and comforts you have – your home, your car, the gadgets you possess, the number of servants in your house, the schools your kids go to, your clubs, your lifestyle, your consumption levels.

You know what I am talking about when I say “standard of living”.

However:– 

a high standard of living alone will not guarantee you a good “quality of life”.

There is one more factor involved in determining your “quality of life”.

This factor is called: “plane of living”.

A good standard of living will give you physical comfort.

A high plane of living will give you intellectual, emotional and mental satisfaction. 


What is the meaning of QUALITY OF LIFE”...?


Quality of Life” comprises two aspects:

1. Standard of Living

2. Plane of Living

_________

In a nutshell:

“quality of life” = “standard of living” + “plane of living”

_________

So remember: 

increasing your “standard of living” alone will not improve your “quality of life”  you need to enhance your “plane of living” too.

Many people may have the same “standard of living” but only those who live on a higher plane” truly understand and enjoy the “quality of life” 

I saw this in the Navy.

All officers had the same “standard of living”

But  it was only a few officers who were enjoying a higher “quality of life” because they knew how to enhance their “plane of living”

It was also ironic that some Naval Officers who had been promoted to high rank had a lower “plane of living” than some passed-over superseded officers who had mastered the art of living on a higher plane  and therefore  these so-called “failures” were enjoying a better quality of life than the so-called successful officers.

Yes: 

sometimes  the so-called “failures” enjoy a better “quality of life” than their successful counterparts...

This is because sometimes – so-called “failures” have a higher “plane of living” than so-called successful people...


PLANE OF LIVING

What is “plane of living”...?

How do enhance your “plane of living”?

How do you live on a higher plane”?

Think about it  close your eyes  reflect  figure it out for yourself.

Sure  I will discuss this soon in my blog  but I am sure you have got the drift and will enhance your “plane of living”.

Meanwhile remember the QUALITY OF LIFE formula:

QUALITY OF LIFE = STANDARD OF LIVING + PLANE OF LIVING 

May you enjoy the best Quality of Life and a High Plane of Living.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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Disclaimer:
All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
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