Tuesday, March 12, 2024

“SMOKING BEAUTY” : Story : Short Fiction

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SHORT FICTION by VIKRAM KARVE 

“SMOKING BEAUTY”

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Disclaimer: 

This story is work of fiction. Names, Events, Places, Settings, Situations and Incidents narrated in the story are fictitious and imaginary. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

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“SMOKING BEAUTY”

Fiction Short Story By VIKRAM KARVE

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PUNE

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HOLI

March 8, 2023 – Late Night 11:30 PM

An Apartment in Mumbai

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A PHONE CALL AND A PICTURE

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“Do you smoke…?” Nisha’s fiancé Ashok asks her.

“What is wrong with you…? Did you call me so late in the night just to ask me this stupid question…?” Nisha says – irked and a bit angry at being woken up from her sleep.

“It is morning over here. You answer my question – do you smoke…?” Ashok asks Nisha again.

“No – I don’t smoke…” she says emphatically.

“There is a picture of you smoking a cigarette on Twitter…” her fiancé Ashok says.

“I am not on Twitter – or – on any social media – I deactivated all my social media accounts when I took up this job – I told you about my employer’s “no social media” policy – didn’t I…?” Nisha says to her fiancé.

“Yes – but a picture of you smoking a cigarette is going viral on Twitter – someone forwarded it to me on WhatsApp – I am forwarding the screenshot of the Tweet and Picture to you – you see the picture – and then you call me…” Nisha’s fiancé Ashok says – and – he disconnects the call.

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The picture arrives on her WhatsApp – a full screenshot of the Tweet – the picture of a woman smoking a cigarette – and – the picture has a caption: “Smoking Beauty”

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Nisha looks at the picture.

Yes – it is her – with a cigarette between her lips.

She looks at the background – it seems to be the residential society in which she lived a few years ago – then – she recalls – it must have been that Holi celebration with her friends a few years ago – that crazy Holi – so crazy was the wild rambunctious celebration – that – she doesn’t even properly remember what happened.

She wonders who clicked this picture – so – she looks at the Twitter Handle and instantly recognizes the Profile Picture – Oh – it is that “Uncle” with the “Glad Eye” – who lived in her building in the residential township in Pune where she stayed a few years ago – she remembers him vividly – they had nicknamed him “Mr. Roving Eye” – because of the way he brazenly ogled at women and flirted with them trying to chat them up and get friendly.

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Dear Reader – I am “Mr. Roving Eye” – the “Uncle” with the “Glad Eye” – who posted that picture “Smoking Beauty” on Social Media.

And – before you get wrong ideas about me – let me tell you that I am not a dirty-old-man but I am a simple young-at-heart “old man” who admires beauty and likes the company of young people.

Let me tell you how I clicked the photo and why I posted it on social media.

For that – I will have to take you back to the year 2018 – when I clicked the picture.

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FLASHBACK

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5 Years Earlier

Year 2018

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HOLI

March 2, 2018 – Morning – around 11 AM

Lawns of a Posh Residential Township in Pune

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GIRL WITH A CIGARETTE

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I looked at the girl sitting on the bench opposite me – a familiar face – one of the many young “Techies” – who lived in our residential society – a posh gated community.

The girl held a cigarette between her fingers – she brought the cigarette to her lips and took a long drag.

She continued to hold the cigarette between her lips as smoke began emanating from her nostrils.

She looked at me – her eyes glazed – unfocussed – it seemed that she was looking at me – but not seeing me.

I could not resist the temptation to click her picture on my smartphone – I clicked her photo quickly – fearing that she may react to my clicking her picture – but she kept looking at me – like a zombie – the same vacant expressionless look – as if she was looking at me but not seeing me – so – I zoomed the camera on her face – and – I clicked a close-up picture of her face – capturing all details.

It was a superb photo – the lit cigarette held in her juicy lips – wafts of smoke emanating from her nostrils – her greenish-grey eyes glazed – as if she were in a trance – everything captured beautifully – truly – a classic photograph – a masterpiece.

I wanted to click more pictures of her – when suddenly – a boy arrived – the boy took the cigarette from her lips – he took a deep drag – and – seeing the bright glow on the tip of the cigarette – I guessed that there was something more potent than tobacco in the cigarette.

Soon – more boisterous friends arrived – and they took the girl away to the lawns – where boys and girls were dancing with wild abandon – throwing colours on each other – celebrating the festival of colours – Holi.

There was music – there was dance – there was special festive food – lovely Holi celebrations in our cosmopolitan residential society.

In our gated community residential complex – most of the residents were young “Techies” – who were enjoying themselves uninhibitedly.

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FLASHFORWARD

Year 2023

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HOLI

March 8, 2023 – Evening – 5 PM

My Apartment in the same Posh Residential Township in Pune

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“PHOTO-DUMP”

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Someone told me a few days ago that the best way to preserve photos was to upload them on Social Media – where they would remain forever – and you could access them anytime you want.

In fact – it is best to upload your photos all Social Media – on Facebook, on Twitter, on Instagram, on Pinterest, on Tumblr, on LinkedIn – everywhere – for maximum redundancy – and this also makes it easy for you to find your photos whenever you want to

This “photo-dump” on social media enables you to delete photos from your Smartphone and release storage space on your Smartphone – and it also precludes the loss of your photos in case you lose your smartphone or it crashes.

Though I started doing this “photo-dump” of recent photos on social media since I got the advice a few days ago – due to my laziness – I did not delete the older photos from my smartphone.

Also – ever since I got this smartphone many years ago – I clicked a large number of photos – and due to all these photos stored in my smartphone photo gallery – the storage space on my smartphone was almost full – and some Apps were not working properly.

So – after playing a colourful Holi in the morning – followed by a fulfilling traditional “Puran Poli” Holi Lunch – and a nice siesta – I sat in my balcony – sipping tea – deleting old photos from my smartphone – taking care to “photo-dump” on social media – those pictures I wanted to preserve – before deleting them from my phone.

In earlier pre-COVID-Pandemic days – I was not very active on social media – so – most of the photos I randomly clicked remained in my smartphone.

It was only during the COVID Lockdown that I had become active on social media – due to loneliness – to connect with people virtually.

As far as posting pictures was concerned – at first – when I was confined to my home due to COVID Lockdown – I started posting pictures of food – and later – when restrictions were relaxed – I started clicking and posting all sorts of random pictures – of delicious food, beautiful scenery, meetups and get-togethers, with friends – especially Twitter Friends (made during the Lockdown).

As I told you – I had clicked the photo of the girl smoking a cigarette in 2018 – during Holi celebrations – on the 2nd of March 2018 – in fact – it was one of the first photos clicked on my smartphone which I had bought a few days ago in February 2018.

The photo of the girl smoking a cigarette was really superb – one of the best photos I had ever clicked – it certainly deserved to be preserved and there was no question of deleting it.

So – I had “photo-dumped” the photo of the girl smoking a cigarette on all my Social Media Accounts – Instagram, Twitter, Facebook etc – with a caption “Smoking Beauty”.

Well – I am quite popular on social media – with plenty of followers and friends – and – looking at the huge response – comments, likes, reposts, shares, re-tweets etc. – it was evident that many people had liked this exquisite picture “Smoking Beauty”.

I felt good at the recognition and praise.

A friend informed me that my social media posts with this picture “Smoking Beauty” had gone “viral” on WhatsApp too.

I was elated – this would enhance my popularity on social media.

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SAME DAY

A Few Hours Later

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HOLI

March 8, 2023 – Almost Midnight – 11:45 PM

An Apartment in Mumbai

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VIDEO CALL

NISHA (Mumbai) CALLS HER FIANCÉ ASHOK (USA)

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(A few minutes after Ashok’s call from USA – Nisha calls Ashok – she has had a good look at the picture of her smoking a cigarette – and tried to recollect and gather her thoughts. It is a Video Call)

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“Hello Ashok…” Nisha says – but Ashok interrupts her rudely and speaks in an angry voice.

“What are you doing in Pune…?” Ashok asks Nisha, “celebrating Holi with your “Ex” – are you…?”

“I am not in Pune – I am in Mumbai the whole day – I was with Asha in her house till afternoon – her mother had made special lunch for Holi – you can ask Asha – she will confirm I was with her – I will send you her number…” Nisha says to her fiancé Ashok.

“I don’t trust Asha. She is your best friend – she will tell me whatever you tell her to say…” Ashok says, “I am sure you are in Pune – or you had gone to Pune to celebrate Holi – this guy who posted your picture on Twitter – he seems to be quite an influencer – he has posted your picture on Facebook and Instagram too – with location – the same Township in Pune where you lived – and the date is 8 March 2023 – today…”

“It is not possible – I swear I didn’t go to Pune today – please believe me…” Nisha pleads to her fiancé Ashok.

“Why are you lying to me…? Next – you will say that this is not your picture – tell me – is it you in the picture or not…?” Ashok asks Nisha.

“I don’t know…” Nisha says.

“What do you mean “you don’t know…” – are you telling me this picture is fake – or morphed…?” Ashok asks Nisha.

“I don’t know…” Nisha says – confused.

“This guy is brazenly posting your picture all over social media – do you know him – wait – I will send you screenshots of his profile from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. – tell me if you recognize him – and you call back…” Ashok says – and – he sends Nisha screenshots of my social media profiles.

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Nisha looks at the screenshots – of course she recognizes me (“Mr. Roving Eye” – the “Uncle” with the “Glad Eye”) who lived in her residential complex in Pune.

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Nisha calls her fiancé Ashok and tells him about me.

“Yes – I recognize him – this “Uncle” lived in my building in the residential township in Pune – he used to ogle at girls and try to flirt with us – we had nicknamed him “Mr. Roving Eye” – but – I have not seen him since I left Pune four years ago in 2019 and relocated to Mumbai – I am sure he has not clicked this photo today – this must be some old picture…” Nisha says to her fiancé Ashok.

“Ah – so now – you are at least admitting that it is you in that picture smoking a cigarette…” Ashok says to Nisha.

“Maybe it is me – but I don’t remember smoking a cigarette…” Nisha says.

“What do you mean “maybe it is me”…? Can’t you recognize yourself in the picture…? I am your fiancé – I expect you to tell me the truth – not try to hide things from me…” Ashok says to Nisha.

“I think this picture was clicked during Holi celebrations – there is colour on my cheeks and hair…” Nisha says.

“When…? Where…?” Ashok asks.

“I think 5 years ago – 2018 – in the society where I lived in Pune…” Nisha says.

“Oh – when you were shacked up with that “Ex” of yours…” Ashok says, sarcastically.

“I was not “shacked up” with Rohan – I lived with girls in a separate apartment…” Nisha says, “and he lived with his friends in another apartment…”

“On the same floor – isn’t it…?” Ashok says, nastily.

“Why are you being sarcastic…? I have told you everything – I broke up with Rohan – changed my job – and moved to Mumbai…” Nisha says.

“You broke up…? Why…? Or – did he dump you…?” Ashok says, spitefully.

“Why are you saying all these irrelevant things…?” Nisha says, angrily.

“Oh – “irrelevant” – okay – I will ask you what is relevant – tell me about this photo which has gone viral on social media – tell me what you remember about that Holi celebration 5 years ago when you say this photo was clicked…” Ashok says to Nisha.

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Nisha tries to recall what she remembers of that Holi celebration 5 years ago in March 2018 – and – she tells her side of the story to Ashok.

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Nisha looks at Ashok on the screen of her smartphone and speaks.

“It was Holi – a friend had got Thandai – it was very tasty and soothing – so – I drank two glasses – I didn’t know it was heavily laced with bhang – after some time – I started feeling “high” – then – I remember we went down to the society lawns for the Holi celebrations – then – the bhang must have taken effect – and – I don’t remember anything…” Nisha says.

“Are you sure…? You don’t remember anything…? You don’t remember smoking a cigarette…?” Ashok asks her – not believing her.

“Please believe me – I don’t remember anything – I must have had a mental blackout – I woke up in the evening – my friends told me that I had got totally “stoned”…” Nisha says.

“What…? “Stoned”…? You were “stoned”…?” Ashok says – stunned.

“I told you I had a total blackout and went to sleep – after I woke up – my friends said that someone gave me a joint to smoke – but – I swear – I don’t remember anything…” Nisha said – in a beseeching voice.

“No wonder your eyes look so glazed – you certainly look “stoned” – I should had realized – but I never imagined this about you – tell me – what were you smoking in that cigarette…? Weed…? Hash…? Marijuana…?” Ashok asks Nisha – angrily.

“Please – it’s not my fault…” Nisha starts pleading – but – Ashok interrupts her.

“Bhang…? Hash…? I thought you just smoked cigarettes – but – you are a bloody drug addict too…” Ashok says angrily to Nisha.

“No. No. It happened only once – I wasn’t even in my senses – I don’t remember anything – when I came to my senses – I was not even in my apartment…” Nisha says – distraught.

“Oh – so you were lying “stoned” in the apartment of your “Ex” – isn’t it…? Ashok says.

“We were all there – everyone was “high” – with bhang, beer, and…” Nisha says – shamefacedly.

“I am sure your “Ex” and his friends must have “roofied” you…” Ashok says, “the bastards “micky finned” you and “roofied” you…”

“Roofied…? What do you mean…?” Nisha asks.

“You know what I mean – it must have been a bloody freaking orgy with all of you stoned crazy…” Ashok is saying when Nisha interrupts him.

“Please – please – please – I beg you…” Nisha says in a beseeching voice, “I don’t want to talk about that horrible day – it was a nightmare I want to forget – it was not my fault at all – they made a fool of me…”

“So – that’s why you dumped him – didn’t you…? Now – I am sure you were roofied that day…” Ashok says – maliciously.

“I am innocent…” Nisha pleads – but Ashok interrupts her rudely.

“Listen – I don’t care whether you are innocent or not – you never told me all this – I would never come to know the truth about you if your picture smoking a cigarette had not gone viral on social media – I must thank that guy for posting your picture…” Ashok says.

“Please – Ashok – I will explain everything when you come to India next month for the wedding…” Nisha says – contrite.

“Wedding…? Are you crazy…? Do you think I am going to marry you after all this…?” Ashok says in an angry voice – and he disconnects the call.

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For a moment – Nisha is stunned.

Then – she breaks down and starts sobbing inconsolably.

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For some time – Nisha is in a state of daze – mental stupor – her mind numbed – so – she doesn’t notice her smartphone ringing.

Her flat-mate knocks on the door and says in a loud voice from outside: 

“Nisha – your sister wants to speak to you urgently – why are you not picking up your mobile…?” 

Nisha doesn’t open the door but answers her flat-mate.

“I am sorry – I was fast asleep…” Nisha says to her flat-mate, “Thank you – I will call my sister…”

Nisha waits for a few moments for her flat-mate to go back to her room – and then – she calls her sister who is at home with her parents.

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Story to be continued…

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 
2. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
3. E&OE

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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Thursday, February 29, 2024

Travel Memories - New Zealand - Sheep Dog Memorial - Lake Tekapo South Island NZ

 ESPECIALLY FOR DOG LOVERS


TEKAPO DOG MEMORIAL
Bronze Sheep Dog Statue Monument
Memories of New Zealand
By
VIKRAM KARVE

During our visit to New Zealand 9 years ago in 2015 – while travelling from Christchurch to Queenstown - I was pleasantly surprised to see a Bronze Statue of a Dog – a memorial for James Mackenzie’s legendary Sheepdog (Collie).

It was the first time that I had seen a monument dedicated to a dog.

The sheep dog statue stands proudly on the shores of the unique exquisite turquoise waters of Lake Tekapo – amidst breathtaking scenery of snow capped mountains of the Southern Alps.

Lake Tekapo is located in the heart of Mackenzie County in the Canterbury Region of South New Zealand – halfway between Christchurch and Queenstown.

After leaving Christchurch – you drive past the lush green Canterbury Plains – then cross the towns of Geraldine, Fairlie and Kimbell – and then you climb up – and traverse across the Burkes Pass into scenic basin in the heart of the mountainous South Island called ‘Mackenzie Country’.

Mackenzie Country has fascinating landscapes and two lakes Tekapo and Pukaki whose waters have a unique turquoise colour caused by glacial flour suspended in the water.

At the heart of Mackenzie Country is the beautiful Lake Tekapo with its marvelous turquoise waters surrounded by magnificent scenery and the awe-inspiring snowcapped peaks including the cloud-piercing Aoraki Mount Cook.  

(The Mackenzie Country was free of human beings until several hundred years ago with the arrival of the Maori in search of food. The Moa, a large flightless bird now extinct, and other birds were hunted and eels fished for in the area. The Maori called the area Takapo – meaning “To leave in haste at night”. The current name – Tekapo – is possibly a corruption of Takapo).

As I told you earlier – Lake Tekapo is nestled in the heart of New Zealand’s South Island. The lake lies at the foot of the Southern Alps, which rise to a height of 3 kilometres. New Zealand’s highest mountain, Mount Cook (Aoraki) is a short drive away and rises to 3,753m (12,313ft).

Lake Tekapo is truly stunning – a breathtaking sight with its turquoise waters and surrounded by spectacular scenery and a most wonderful view of the Southern Alps including the snow-covered mountains like Mount Cook. 

Here is a picture of Lake Tekapo with Mount Cook in the distance which I took on my smartphone on 26 December 2015.

Lake Tekapo

COLLIE SHEEP DOG STATUE

Standing proudly on a large rock on the shores of Lake Tekapo is a bronze statue of a Collie Sheep Dog.

In 1855 James Mackenzie – a Scottish Shepherd discovered this basin that now bears his name (Mackenzie Country).

As per local folklore – James Mackenzie was a “Sheep Stealer”.

The story goes on to say that “Sheep Thief” James Mackenzie had a loyal Collie Sheep Dog named “Friday” who used to protect his sheep and hustle the flocks of stolen sheep into his sheep farms.

By stealing sheep from the Canterbury Plains and driving them inland across mountain passes into this remote area with the help of his Collie Dog ‘Friday’– James Mackenzie had become a prosperous sheep farmer.

One day James Mackenzie’s deeds caught up with him.

James Mackenzie was arrested and sent to jail.

The authorities went up the Burkes Pass into the “Mackenzie Basin” to retrieve the stolen sheep and return them to their rightful owners.

However – James Mackenzie’s loyal Collie Sheepdog continued to protect his sheep.

Mackenzie’s highly intelligent dog ‘Friday’ continued to drive the sheep without his master’s control.

The Sheepdog ‘Friday’ could not be restrained – and the dog aggressively attacked anyone who tried to come near his sheep.

Finally – Mackenzie's Collie Sheep Dog ‘Friday’ was shot and put down by the authorities.

The loyal Dog resolutely performed his duty towards his Master till his last breath and gave up his life for his Master.

The capture of James Mackenzie, for being “in the company of a thousand stolen sheep” as he rustled them with his dog ‘Friday’, through a remote alpine pass into “a plain of immense extent” resulted in his deeds being immortalized and his name being given these highlands ever since – hence the area is called “Mackenzie Country”.

Many years later – the residents of Mackenzie Country decided to construct this monument in memory of James Mackenzie’s legendary Collie Sheepdog ‘Friday’ and all the hardy working Collie Dogs without the help of which the grazing of this mountainous country would have been impossible.

Like Mackenzie – in the 19th century – many Scottish shepherds came to work on the pastoral runs of the Eastern South Island – and the high country could not have been farmed successfully without the Border Collies they brought with them.

Thus - in addition to ‘Friday’ – this monument at Lake Tekapo honours all these ‘Canine Scots’ of Mackenzie Country.

This monument is dedicated to all good and faithful Collie sheepdogs who always gave their best irrespective of the weather or hardships, in burning heat and frozen snow.

It is a unique monument dedicated to a dog – I wonder if there is any such memorial dedicated to a dog elsewhere in the world.

The bronze dog statue was commissioned by Mackenzie Country residents in recognition of the indispensable role of the sheepdog in their livelihoods. The sculptor was Innes Elliott of Kaikoura, with a dog called Haig, belonging to a neighbour, being the model. Elliott reported the sculpting process took approximately 15 months. Clay for the model came from the insulator works in Temuka, with a plaster cast of it made and sent to London in 1966, where the statue was cast.

The statue was unveiled on the 7th of March 1968 by Sir Arthur Espie Porritt, Governor-General of New Zealand.

The inscription on the monument plaque reads:

“This monument was erected by the runholders of the Mackenzie County and those who also appreciate the value of the collie dog, without the help of which the grazing of the mountain country would be impossible.

Unveiled on March 7, 1968, by Sir Arthur Espie Porritt, BT, GCMG, KCVO, CBE, Governor General of New Zealand

‘Beannachdan Air Na Cu Caorach’ (which in Gaelic means “blessings on the sheep dogs”).”


Here are a few pictures of the ‘Tekapo Dog Memorial’ which I took on my smartphone during my visit to Lake Tekapo on the 26th of December 2015.

Collie Sheep Dog Statue


‘Friday’  - the sheepdog belonging to Mackenzie, the folk hero who was the first European to find the route into this mountainous Basin – and all sheepdogs are remembered with the phrase “Beannachdan Air na Cu Caorach” (which means “Blessings on the Sheep Dog”) on the monument plaque. 





Different Aspect Views of the Tekapo Sheep Dog Statue 









On the shores of the Turquoise Waters of Lake Tekapo 




Lake Tekapo is a scenic resort with picturesque surroundings and breathtaking views. The air is pure and the sky is clear. For those interested in astronomy, this place has the darkest night skies and observatory open to public. There is plenty to do in the beautiful tranquil environment and good facilities for accommodation and food. Lake Tekapo is conveniently connected  located midway between Christchurch and Queenstown  a 3 hour drive from either place  and is an ideal stopover for all types of tourists  a good honeymoon destination too. On our next visit  we will certainly spend a day or two in Lake Tekapo.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post

© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

My Source Blog Post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve URL: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2016/02/for-dog-lovers-tekapo-dog-memorial.html and also posted in my blog at URLs: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2021/08/travel-memories-new-zealand-lake-tekapo.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2016/02/05/memories-of-new-zealand-mackenzie-sheep-dog-memorial-at-lake-tekapo-travelogue/ and https://vikramkarve.medium.com/travel-memories-new-zealand-lake-tekapo-sheep-dog-memorial-b82287051969 etc.

© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Friday, January 12, 2024

The Visitor

 Short Fiction by Vikram Karve

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THE VISITOR

Short Story by Vikram Karve

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Around 4 years ago – in March 2020 – as COVID cases started rising in my neighbourhood – I shut down my consulting room in Mumbai – and I “escaped” to my farmhouse – just a day before lockdown was imposed.

One morning – a man came to see me at my farmhouse.

“Sorry for barging in like this without an appointment – I intentionally didn’t call – because – I felt you may refuse to see me…” he said.

He introduced himself – he was a business tycoon – he gave me his business card.

“How did you manage to come here…?” I asked him, “there is a lockdown…”

“I managed an e-pass…” he said.

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(Well – for the “rich and famous” – normal rules don’t apply – and after reading his business card – it was evident that he was quite an influential man)

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Then – he looked at me and spoke.

“I heard that you are “No.1” in your field – I desperately wanted to consult with you – so I have come…” he said.

 “There was no need to come all the way here – I am doing online consultations…” I said to him.

“I know – but this issue is sensitive – so – I wanted to discuss with you in person…” he said, “I will pay you whatever fees you want for your time…”

“Let’s go and sit outside on the lawns…” I said, “in these COVID days – it is better to talk in the open air – and we can maintain social distance – remove our masks – and talk freely…”

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We sat down on the garden chairs on the lawn – with a table in between – quite a distance between us.

I removed my mask and I looked at him.

“Okay – tell me about your problem…” I said to him.

I started “audio record” on my smartphone – and kept my smartphone on the table in between us.

“Are you recording the conversation…?” he asked me.

“Yes…” I said, “it will help me later to analyse and make my notes…”

“Please don’t record our conversation…” he said, “I want it to be totally private…”

“Okay…” I said – and – I picked up the smartphone – I switched it off – and I kept it in my pocket.

“I have switched off my smartphone…” I said to him, “now you can speak freely…”

“My wife wants a divorce…” he said – coming to the point immediately.

“On what grounds…?” I asked him.

“She says that I am impotent…” he said.

“Are you…?” I asked him, “You’ve never had sex…?”

“Of course – I have had sex – in fact – I have had regular sex with my wife for the last 3 years since we got married…” he said.

“Then clearly – you are not impotent…” I said, “if you want – I will talk to your wife…”

“No. No. It’s not that – she says that I am the reason that we can’t have children…” the man said.

“Oh – so your wife is saying that you are sterile…” I said, “doesn’t she know the difference between impotence and infertility…?”

“I don’t know…” he said, “she wants me to get myself tested…”

“It is very simple…” I said, “you can get a sperm count test done – a semen analysis…”

“No – I don’t want to do it…” he said.

“You don’t want to get yourself tested…? Why…?” I asked him – curious.

“I am scared that the tests may come true…” he said.

“You are scared that the tests may come true…? Do you fear that you are infertile…?” I said to him.

“Yes…” he said – matter-of-factly.

“You must get rid of your fears – get the fertility tests done…” I said to him.

“No…” he said, “suppose the tests say that I am infertile – that I am sterile and can’t produce a child – it will be a humiliating “loss of face” for me…”

“Loss of face…?” I said – taken aback.

“Yes. We come from a business community – mine is a business marriage – I must be able to produce an heir…” he said – looking anxious.

“Wait…” I interrupted him, “what makes you think that it is you who is infertile – what about your wife – has she done fertility tests…?”

“She says that we should do the tests together…” he said.

“And – you don’t want to do the tests together because you feel nervous – that the tests would show that it is you who is sterile…” I said to him.

“Yes…” he said – with a nervous expression on his face.

“Why are you so worried…? It is not your fault if your sperm count happens to be low. There is no stigma attached to infertility nowadays…” I said to him.

“You don’t know my wife – she will publicly humiliate me – and – as I have already told you – she will divorce me – and her family – they will spread all sorts of rumours – and they will demand all sorts of things – I will be ruined – everyone will know that I am impotent and infertile – not “man enough” – and my reputation would be totally tarnished in my community…” he said – looking nervous and distressed.

“Okay…” I said in a consoling tone, “I can empathise with you – I will schedule a private test for you – let’s see the results – then we will decide what to do…”

“Test…? Here…?” he looked at me apprehensively.

“Not here – we will do the tests in Mumbai – but you don’t worry – I will be very discreet – your identity will be confidential and no one will know…” I said to him.

“Okay…” he said, “don’t call on the numbers on my card – I will give you my private number – we can connect via WhatsApp…” he said to me.

He gave me his private number – and – we connected on WhatsApp.

I walked with the man to his SUV parked on the road outside my farmhouse.

He smiled a goodbye to me – he got inside his SUV – and – he drove away.

__________

I noticed that my neighbour was observing us – she was standing a few feet away on the road with her small daughter – a cute girl – around 6 or 7 years old.

My neighbour waved to me – and – she started walking towards me – with her daughter in tow.

I looked at the woman – she looked so chic – blue jeans, bright red tucked-in T-Shirt, fair creamy flawless complexion, jet black hair neatly tied in a bun – and – dark Ray-Ban sunglasses of the latest style.

She was a good-looking woman with smart feminine features – elegant – fashionable – chic – graceful – well-groomed.

She was “Kiwi-Indian” – an Indian settled in New Zealand.

She had come on a vacation to India with her daughter – to meet people – and now – she was stuck here – as all international flights were cancelled due to COVID Lockdown.

Instead of living with relatives in the city – she had come to live in the neighbouring farmhouse – which belonged to one of her friends.

Life was much better out here in the countryside – than in the crowded city – where you had to live cooped up in your house with all sorts of lockdown curfews and restrictions – living in fear – with “COVID Phobia” – whereas here – in the farmhouse expanse – it was much healthier and safer – and you could move around quite freely in the fresh air and natural environment.

Due to COVID social distancing – we hadn’t talked much – just a “hail-fellow-well-met” type of friendship – and a bit of “small talk”.

She smiled at me and spoke.

“You had a visitor…” she said to me – matter-of-factly.

“Yes…” I said to her.

“That man who visited you – is his name Avinash…?” she asked me.

I was quite surprised by her question – so – I just looked at her in silence curious – wondering what to say – but before I could speak – she interrupted me.

“Please don’t get me wrong…” she said in a beseeching voice, “I was totally surprised to see him here – luckily – he didn’t see me…”

“Do you know him…?” I asked her.

“Yes – once upon a time – I knew him very well – he is the father of my daughter…” she said to me – looking into my eyes.

And then – she glanced at her cute daughter.

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VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 
2. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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