Monday, March 29, 2021

The Hypochondriac – Unfinished Story

 HUMOR

THE HYPOCHONDRIAC

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

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Part 1 – COVID PHOBIA

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“Your husband is crazy…” the man says to the woman.

“Why…? What happened…?” the woman says.

“Your husband – he kept on saying – “I want to be tested – I want to be tested…”   Well – I told him that there is nothing wrong with him – but – he went on and on and on – “I want to be tested – I want to be tested…”

“I told you that my husband is a hypochondriac – didn’t I…? Earlier – he would imagine he had other diseases – but – ever since COVID has come – he keeps imagining that he has COVID…”

“Does he have any symptoms…?”

“Not at all – you spoke to him – didn’t you…? And – I saw him in the morning before I came to work – he is absolutely fine – no symptoms at all – it’s all in his mind – just extreme anxiety – “hypochondria” – that’s all…”

“A case of severe “COVID Phobia”…?”

“Yes – he is terrified of getting COVID. And because of that – the last one year has been hell for me…”

“Last one year…? Hell for you…?”

“The COVID Pandemic started one year ago – in March 2020 – isn’t it…? Since then – my husband is working from home – and he is obsessed with COVID – and he gets more and more paranoid – sitting at home 24/7 – imagining things…”

“These “IT Nerds” are lucky – they can sit at home safely and do their work – while we doctors have to risk our lives every day…”

“That’s why they call us “COVID Warriors” – don’t they...? And by the way – when you talk to my husband – don’t call him an “IT Nerd” – he gets furious – call him a “Software Techie”…”

“You said your “work from home” husband has made your life hell…?”

“I told you – he is paranoid about getting infected with COVID. And – I have to come to work every day to the hospital. He thinks that I may infect him – so – he has gone crazy taking precautions.  The way he “ostracizes” me – I feel that he has almost excommunicated me from his life…”

“What…? “Ostracized”…? “Excommunicated”…? What are you saying…?”

“It is true. The way he behaves – I feel that way. We live in the same house – but we stay separately in different rooms – he even wanted me to move out and live in the hospital – but – I put my foot down…”

“That’s insane…”

“He insists that we wear masks inside the house – maintain “social distance” – stay totally separate – avoid contact – washing and sanitizing all the time – it’s crazy – only I know the misery I am going through…”

“Avoid contact…? Are you telling me that you haven’t slept together for the last one year – since COVID started…?”

“Sleep together…? Ha Ha. He doesn’t even allow me to get near him. I told you – we sleep in separate rooms – we use separate bathrooms attached to our rooms – he remains cooped up in his room – working day and night – and – he even avoids coming near me when I am home. I am fed up with his paranoia – OCD – constantly washing hands – sanitizing – masks – social distancing – we take more precautions inside our house than people take outside…”

“This is unbelievable. Your husband seems to have really gone crazy due to “COVID Phobia”…”

“Yes – that’s why I gave him your number and asked him to speak to you…?”

“Does he know that I am a psychiatrist…?”

“No. I told him that you were a “COVID Specialist”…” the woman says with a mischievous smile.

“That’s very wicked of you, Uma…” the man says, “you don’t seem to have changed from your college days – the same “naughty” Uma…”

The woman smiles and says to the man: “I am so happy you came here, Rohan. Now – at least – I have someone to talk to. Most of the guys out here are boring “old-fogies”…”

“Yes, Uma – I never imagined you would be in Pune…” the man says.

“I relocated to Pune after my marriage – 3 years ago…” the woman says.

The man’s mobile phone starts ringing – so – he picks it up from the table – looks at the number – and says to the woman: “It’s your husband again…”

“You talk to him…” the woman says, “I have a “C-Section” scheduled – we will meet at lunch in the canteen – there you can tell me all about your entertaining conversation with my husband…”

The woman goes away – and – the man connects the call and starts speaking to the woman’s husband.

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Part 2 – THE GYNAEC AND THE PSYCHIATRIST

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Dear Reader – let me tell you about the two characters who were talking to each other in Part 1 of the story – Dr. Uma (the woman) – who is an obstetrician and gynaecologist (aka – gynaec) – and Dr. Rohan (the man) – a psychiatrist.

Both of them are 30 years old – they were classmates and good friends during their MBBS – later – they went to different colleges in faraway cities for the specializations – and gradually – as it happens when people get busy – they lost contact with each other.

Dr. Uma – the moment she became a gynaec – at the age of 27 – she got married to Ashok – an “IT Nerd” (Software “Techie”) – and relocated to Pune – where her husband lived – and now – she works in a prestigious hospital.

Dr. Rohan – the psychiatrist – who was earlier working in Delhi – started working in the same hospital (as Uma) recently – he joined just a few days ago – and the two classmates – Uma and Rohan – they renewed their friendship.

Rohan is still unmarried – maybe – waiting for his career to take off.

Of course – with the second wave of COVID proliferating in Pune – Rohan hasn’t visited Uma’s home yet – in fact – no one has visited Uma’s house yet – there is no question of her “COVID Phobic” husband Ashok allowing visitors into their house.

After much persuasion by Uma – her husband Ashok agreed to called Rohan – to talk about COVID – he called briefly in the morning saying: “I want to be tested – I want to be tested…”  – and now – he is calling Rohan again.

Of course – Uma told her husband that Rohan was a “COVID Specialist” – she didn’t tell him that Rohan was a psychiatrist.

Now – Dear Reader – while Dr. Uma performs the “C-Section” – let us hear the telephonic conversation between the psychiatrist Dr. Rohan and Uma’s husband Ashok.

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Story To Be Continued in Part 3...

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

Test of “Morality”

 

WHAT IS “MORAL”

Test of “Morality”

Ethical Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

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WHAT IS “MORAL”…?

This story happened around 45 years ago in the 1970’s.

It was quite late in the night.

Our ship was in harbour – and – I was sitting in the Wardroom of my ship (a frontline warship – a frigate) – in a relaxed mood – enjoying my favourite after-dinner liqueur “digestif” – Bénédictine – while leisurely smoking my pipe – listening to some soothing music being played on the gramophone – yes – those days we had “record players” which played “records” – at 78 RPM, 45 RPM and 3313 RPM or 33 RPM (Long Playing Records).

Two of my shipmates entered the wardroom – discussing something quite animatedly – and this disturbed my serene “reverie”.

One of the shipmates had “broken up” with his girlfriend (in today’s parlance – he had “dumped” his girlfriend).

He had “dumped” his girlfriend because he wanted to marry the “back-home-type” girl his parents had chosen for him.

The other shipmate was reprimanding him for being a “coward”.

I looked at the shipmate who had “dumped” his girlfriend and asked him: “Tell me – how are you feeling after “dumping” your girlfriend…? Are you feeling good – or – are you feeling bad…?”

“I am feeling good…” he said, “In fact – I am feeling really relieved – yes – I am feeling good after “breaking up” with her…”

“If you are feeling good – then – what you have done is “moral”…” I said.

“What do you mean…?” the other shipmate said, “he had a “good time” with her and then he “dumped” her. How can you say that what he has done is “moral”…?”

“Well – you may do something that seems “immoral” in the eyes of the world – but – if you feel good after doing it – then for you – it is “moral”…” I said, “since he feels good after “dumping” his girlfriend – for him – it is “moral” – even if you may think otherwise…”

“Your theory on “morality” is all bullshit…” he said.

“It is not my theory…” I said, “it is a quote by Ernest Hemingway: “What is moral is what you feel good after – and what is immoral is what you feel bad after…”

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QUOTE ON MORALITY

“So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.”

― Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon

(This quote about morality is from Chapter 1 of the book “Death in the Afternoon” by Ernest Hemingway. Death in the Afternoon, originally published in 1932, is a non-fiction book by Ernest Hemingway about the ceremony and traditions of Spanish Bullfighting. The book delves into the grandeur of bullfighting and contemplates on the nature of fear and courage)

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CONCLUSION

Sometimes you do something – and – you wonder if what you did was “moral”.

Like me – you too must have received many “sermons” and read many “pontifications” on the subject of “morality” – but – the above quote about “morals” by Nobel Laureate Ernest Hemingway is my favourite definition of “what is moral” – and – I found it in literature.

(in fact – I have learnt most of my philosophy of life via literature).

Morality is not always absolute – moral issues often differ along cultural lines – and – from person to person – and also from situation to situation.

In a nutshell – if you feel good after doing something – for you – it is “moral” – even if it may seem otherwise in the eyes of other people.

Conversely – if you feel bad after doing something – for you – it is “immoral” – even if other people think otherwise.

In my opinion – this is the “test” of “morality”.

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Dear Reader – do you agree…? Please comment at tell us your views.

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.