The Queer Couple

This story happened around 37 years ago – in the early 1980’s…

THE QUEER COUPLE

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

PART 1

The Kalka Mail arrived at Old Delhi Railway Station at 8:30 PM.

I hired an autorickshaw – and by the time I reached Curzon Road Apartments – it was almost 9:30 PM.

I ordered Butter Chicken and Naan from Banjara Restaurant (to be delivered home) – and then – I went up to my tiny one room flat on the 7^th Floor.

(Yes – it was a small one room flat – a kitchenette at the entrance – just one all-in-one room with a rather smallish double-bed – a small balcony – and a bathroom)

I opened my flat – went inside – switched on the geyser – and changed into my lungi.

I switched on the TV – poured a drink of Rum-Pani (Rum and Water) – and I waited for my food to arrive.

The doorbell rang.

My food had arrived.

The Butter Chicken was piping hot and the Naan were soft and fresh.

I dunked a piece of Naan in the Butter Chicken Gravy – put it on my tongue – and closed my eyes.

It was delicious.

I was savouring the lovely taste of the spicy Butter Chicken with the soft Naan – when suddenly – the doorbell rang – breaking my delicious trance.

I wondered who it was – it was almost 10 o’clock at night.

I got up – I walked to the door – and – I looked through the keyhole.

It was a man – a stranger.

“Who is this…?” I asked, in a loud voice.

“Your new neighbour…” the voice on the other side of the door said.

I opened the door.

It was a young man – fair and handsome.

“Yes…?” I said to him.

“I am your new neighbour…” he said – and he told me his name.

I introduced myself – and I said to him: “I have just come back from Calcutta…”

(Those days – in the early 1980’s – Kolkata was called Calcutta)

“I know…” he said, “you are in the Navy. You had gone to drop your wife for her delivery…”

“Yes…” I said, “but how do you know all this…?”  

“We found out from the other neighbours…” he said, “we just moved in last week – we – my wife and I – we are newly married…”

“Oh. That’s good…” I said – wondering why he was visiting me so late at night.

“I want to ask you a small favour…” he said.

“Favour…?” I said, curious.

“Can I sleep with you tonight…?” he asked.

“What…?” I said – taken aback.

“I mean – your wife is not here – you are all alone…” he said.

I was scandalized when I heard his words. 

Was he propositioning me…?

Just imagine – it was appalling – this disgusting pussy boy – ringing a stranger’s doorbell – and making indecent proposals.

And – he was newly married…!!!

It was unbelievable.

He was meeting me for the first time – he knew that there was just one smallish double-bed in these flats – and – he was making this brazen overture: “Your wife is not here – you are all alone – can I sleep with you tonight…?” 

Bloody Nonsense...!!!

It was outrageous.

Who the hell did he think I was…? A Bloody “Queer...?”

I decided to make it clear to him than and there. 

“Now you listen to me…” I said to him in a firm voice, “it seems you have got the wrong impression. I may be in the Navy – but I am not a bloody bum-bandit – and nor am I a frigging peg-boy – do you understand…? Now – you just get out of here…”

“Please…” he pleaded, “it is cold outside…”

“So – you go and sleep with your wife…” I said.

“She is sleeping with Sweetie…” he said.

“What…?” I said – confused.

“Sweetie is in bed with my wife…” he said.

It was a bizarre situation.

They were newly married.

Wife was in bed with Sweetie – pussy bumping – in flagrante delicto.

And – husband was trying to get into bed with me.

Astounding depravity – as “queer” as it can get.

Well – Dear Reader – I am a simple straightforward married man – a “puritan” in thoughts and deeds.

There was no question of getting entangled with such perverted degenerates.

It could be dangerous – very dangerous – and most immoral.

I looked sternly at the “fair and handsome” man in front of me.

“Please…” he pleaded with me, in a beseeching voice, “you are all alone…”

“You bloody filthy faggot – you want me to sleep with you in lieu of my wife…?” I shouted at him, “You just get out of here – and don’t ring my bell again…”

And – I angrily slammed the door in his face.

Later – as I lay in bed – my imagination ran wild – as – in my mind’s eye – I fantasized – trying to “visualise” erotic scenes of passionate sapphic lovemaking – being performed on the other side of the wall – in the neighbouring flat.

And so – I drifted into a pleasurable sleep.

PART 2

Next morning – I woke up at 6 AM.

I got ready for my morning jog.

I opened the door slowly.

I was dreading to see my pansy neighbour sitting outside.

But – he wasn’t there – and – I didn’t see him in the corridor either. 

He must have gone into his own house at night – to join Sweetie and his wife.

Maybe – they were enjoying a “threesome” inside – AC/DC – a “ménage à trois”.

Soon – I was jogging on India Gate Lawns.

After my jog – I stopped at my favourite place – to do some exercises.

I heard a feminine voice call out my name.

I turned in the direction of the voice.

As she walked towards me – first – I admired her lovely figure – and then – when she came close and stood in front of me – I focussed on her face. 

She was an exquisite beauty – nubile – fair complexion – her sharp features accentuated by the rays of the morning sun – her nose slightly turned up, so slender and translucent, as though accustomed to smelling nothing but perfumes.

I looked at her – mesmerized – I had never seen a woman who was so beautiful, so virginal, so alluring.

“Good Morning…” she said, shaking me out of my trance.

“Good Morning…” I said.

“I am your new neighbour…” she said.

“Oh…” I said.

“You haven’t recognised me – but – I have seen you swimming in the club…” she said.

“Yes – I was a regular swimmer – before I got married…” I said.

“We all admired your butterfly stroke…” she said, “in fact – we had a crush on you – so we found out everything about you…”.

“Oh – really…? I said.

“Yes – I was in college then – I got married just last month…” she said.

“Oh…” I said, “I am sorry about your husband. I spoke quite rudely to him – and I didn’t let him inside. He must have been shivering outside in the cold all night…”

“It’s okay…” she said, “he is inside now – in a warm bed…”

As her words sunk in – my imagination was aroused.

So now – he was in bed with Sweetie….!!!

At night – she and Sweetie…!!!

And now – he and Sweetie…!!!

It was astounding – this was truly a “broadminded” swinging couple…!!!

“So – your husband is in bed with Sweetie…?” I asked her.

“No. No. My husband is very scared of Sweetie…” she said, “so I brought Sweetie along with me…”

“Oh…” I said – and looked around – trying to locate Sweetie – curious how she looked.

“She must be playing behind the bushes…” my lovely neighbour said.

Sweetie – “playing” behind the bushes – “ménage à moi”…? 

My train of thoughts was going berserk again.

Suddenly – my beautiful neighbour called out: “Sweetie – come…”

And – a black Doberman dog came running out of the bushes towards my lovely neighbour.

I do not have words to express the emotion I felt – surprise – shock – disappointment – or – laughing inside at myself…!!!

“So – Sweetie is a Dog…?” I asked my gorgeous neighbour.

“Yes. What did you think…?” she asked – with a hint of curiosity in her eyes.

“Nothing. Nothing…” I said.

“We’ve had Sweetie for many years – she is our pet dog. Now – after I got married a few days ago – Sweetie lives with my parents. My parents had to rush abroad to the US last evening since my uncle had a sudden heart attack and died. So – they left Sweetie with me. And – my husband is terrified of dogs…” she said.

“She looks quite ferocious…” I said – looking at Sweetie – the Doberman dog.

“Once she gets to know you – she is very friendly and affectionate…” my lovely neighbour said.

“Then – why is your husband so scared of her…?” I asked.

“He told me that he was attacked and severely bitten by a dog when he was a young boy – and so – after that traumatic incident – he is terrified of dogs…” she said. 

“Oh…” I said, “anyway – till your parents come back – your husband can stay in my flat it he wants…”

“Thank you…” she said – giving me a sweet smile.

But that didn’t happen.

Surprisingly – the doberman Sweetie took a liking to me – and – I started liking her too.

So – Sweetie would spend the nights with me in my flat – while my newly married neighbours enjoyed their richly deserved conjugal delights in their “matrimonial” bed.

And – in the mornings – Me – Sweetie the doberman dog – and the lovely lady (my beautiful neighbour) – the three of us – we would all go jogging on India Gate Lawns – and sometimes – in the evenings too – to jog, exercise and play.

One morning – as I was sitting in my office – my father-in-law called from Calcutta – a “Trunk Call”.

All was well – the delivery date was approaching – my wife wanted to speak to me – that’s all.

(Remember – Dear Reader – in the early 1980’s – there were no mobile phones – no internet – no emails – only landline telephones – and – junior officers like me did not get residential phones – so – we had to speak on the office phone – and – since a “trunk call” was quite expensive – we wrote letters to each other)

“What’s happening…?” my wife asked me over the phone.

“All is well…” I said.

“Yes. I heard so…” my wife said, “you have been seen frolicking around India Gate Lawns…”

“How did you come to know…? Who told you…? Is it that bitchy friend of yours who lives on the 6^th floor…?” I asked.

“Is it true or not…? Just tell me that…” my wife said.

“It’s a dog – our new neighbour’s dog – Sweetie…” I said.

“I am not talking about the dog – I am talking about the lovely “owner” of the dog – the lady with the dog. You be careful. I will be “watching” from here…” my wife said menacingly – and she put down the phone. 

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)  

Unfinished Version of this Story posted in my blogs earlier at urls: https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/12/unfinished-story-queer-couple.html  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/12/14/unfinished-story-2/

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

The “Monster” – an unfinished story

THE “MONSTER” – an Unfinished Story 

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Part 1 – MARRIAGE INTERVIEW

The moment the girl saw her future husband – she started trembling with fear.

He looked ferocious – like a barbarian – a savage brute.

Yes – “Monster” – that is first word that came to the delicate girl’s mind when she saw her future husband.

(So – Dear Reader – in this story – we will refer to him as “Monster”…)

The “Monster” looked at the fragile girl – and he said to the girl’s aunt:

“The girl seems very frightened…”

“No. No. She is okay…” the girl’s aunt said.

“She looks very young…”

“No. No. She is 18. Do you want me to get her birth certificate…?”

“Yes. We will require her birth certificate and other documents for her visa. I hope the girl has a passport…”

“Yes. Yes. It has just come…” the girl’s aunt said. “I assure you – she is not a minor…”

“What I meant was that she doesn’t seem ready for marriage…”

“No. No. She is ready for marriage…”

“But – is she ready to marry me…? I am 33 – I am more than 15 years older than her…”

“Of course she wants to marry you…” the girl’s aunt said.

The “Monster” looked at the delicate girl and he asked her:

“Are you sure that you want to get married to me…?”

The girl’s aunt looked sternly at the girl – and – the girl meekly nodded her head.  

And so – a few days later – the delicate 18 year old girl got married to the intimidating 33 year old “Monster”

Part 2 – THE “FIRST NIGHT”

The girl sat on the bedecked bed.

She was still wearing her wedding finery.

The girl looked at the flowers on the bed – “Flowers” for her “Deflowering” ceremony.

Tonight – her husband – the “Monster” – he would “deflower” her.

The girl felt terrified at the thought of what was going to happen to her.

What her uncle had tried to do – her husband would now do – and she could do nothing about it.

When her uncle had tried to rape her – she had fought back – but now – she would have to meekly submit – and surrender her body to her husband’s carnal desires.

The girl heard voices outside the room.

Her husband’s friends wanted to “celebrate” the wedding with a booze party.

She hoped that her husband would get so drunk that he would just “pass out” and go to sleep – unable to “perform” – and her agony would be postponed to another night.

Then – a frightening thought came to her brain – suppose her husband got violently drunk – then he would savage her even more brutally…”

The delicate girl felt terrified as she imagined what was going to happen to her.

Suddenly – she heard her husband’s voice:

“No. I will not drink tonight. You guys enjoy. My wife is waiting for me and I must go to her now…”

The girl saw the door opening.

Her husband – the “Monster” – he entered the bedroom – decorated for the “first-night”.

He looked at his newly-wedded wife – and he said to her:

 “I know we couldn’t go on our honeymoon immediately after our marriage – but don’t worry – once we get back to New Zealand – I will take you to Queenstown – and I will show you all the lovely places in the Southern Alps – we will have a long honeymoon…”

Then – the “Monster” started walking towards the girl.

The “Monster” sat on the bed – he looked at the girl’s face – and he said to the girl:

“Are you feeling okay…? You are sweating – and shivering…”

The terrified girl looked at the “Monster” with beseeching eyes.

The “Monster” looked at his newly-wedded wife and he said to her:

“Okay. I understand. You are not ready for me. You don’t worry. I will not force myself on you. I will come to you only when you want me to come to you. You go to sleep. I will sleep on the sofa…”

And so – on their “first night” – the girl slept on the bed – and her husband – the “Monster” – he slept on the sofa.

PART 3 – MARRIED LIFE

Three months had passed since her marriage to the “Monster”.

Her husband – the “Monster” – he had kept his promise – the promise that he had made to her on their “first night” – that he would not force himself upon her – that he would come to her only when she wanted him to come to her.

So far – she had not asked him to come to her.

And – he had not come to her.

In fact – she had not even spoken a single word to him.

Whenever he would speak to her – she would just meekly nod her head.

She was still terrified of her husband – the “Monster”.

But otherwise – she was quite happy in Auckland.

She liked her house – an independent “cottage” – with a lawn and garden – like most houses in New Zealand.

It was a “joint” family – her husband – his mother – his unmarried sister – they all lived together in the house.

Her husband had come to New Zealand many years ago.

And – after some time – as most Indian Immigrants do – he had brought his widowed mother and small sister as “dependents” to New Zealand.

Her husband – a truck driver – he would be away for days – and he would come home only once in a while.

And – even on those days – he would go out to the pub to drink beer with his “mates” – and come home drunk at night.

And then – he would sleep in the same room as her – but not in the same bed.

Her husband would lay out his mattress on the ground to sleep on.

Maybe her husband slept in the same room as her to keep up appearances of a “normal” marriage – lest his mother suspect that they had not “consummated” the marriage.

This arrangement was fine with her.

After that horrifying incident when her uncle had tried to rape her – she was extremely frightened of sexual intercourse – and felt petrified at the very thought of her “Monster” husband raping her.

Luckily – her husband was home only once in a while – and even on those days – he left her alone.

He hardly talked to her – except to bark orders when he wanted something – and she meekly complied without uttering a word.

Her mother-in-law – her husband’s mother – she ran the household.

Her sister-in-law just lazed around – she was 25 years old – and they were looking for a husband for her.

Her mother-in-law and sister-in-law treated her like a slave – they made her do all the housework – cooking, cleaning, washing – everything.

(In New Zealand – one didn’t have the luxury of “servants” – and you had to do all work yourself…)

She was a full-time servant.

It was quite clear that they had brought her to New Zealand more as a “slave” rather than as a “bride”.

It was a subtle way of “human trafficking”.

But – she preferred this life of “slavery” imposed on her by her domineering mother-in-law – rather than being brutally raped by her fearsome “Monster” husband – of whom she was still terrified.  

One evening – her husband – the “Monster” – he came home after a week – and he said to her: “I want to talk to you – come inside to our room…”

As she meekly followed her husband – her sister-in-law said to her: “Make a cup of tea for me – and some snacks too – I am hungry…”

On hearing this – her husband – the “Monster” – he stopped in his tracks – and – he suddenly turned around.

The “Monster” looked at his sister with angry eyes and shouted at her: “You go and make your tea yourself. She is not your bloody servant – she is my wife…”

On hearing the “Monster” shout angrily – his mother came running into the room and said to her son: “Why are you shouting at your young sister…?”

“I will not allow anyone to treat my wife like a slave…” the “Monster” said to his mother.

“What do you mean by saying that we treat her like a “slave”…?” her husband’s mother said, “isn’t your wife supposed to share the housework…?”

“Share the housework – yes – but not all the housework. Don’t think I have not been noticing – you make her do everything. You make her slog all day and treat her with disdain. I will not tolerate it any longer. My wife must be treated properly. Do you understand…?” the “Monster” shouted at his mother and sister.

The girl saw that her husband – the “Monster” – he was now looking at her.

On seeing her husband’s angry eyes – the girl trembled with fear.

Her husband pointed towards her – and he said to his mother:

“Look at her – see how frightened she looks. She is such an innocent young girl – so fragile – she is suddenly moved to a strange new land – a dainty and delicate girl forcibly married to a rough and coarse man like me – try to imagine how scared she must be feeling – and – instead of comforting her – you bully and browbeat her – and treat her like slave…”.

“Okay. Okay…” the girl’s mother-in-law said sarcastically, “we will treat your wife like a “Maharani” (Queen)…”

“Don’t be sarcastic…” her husband said to his mother, “I want my wife to be treated properly – that’s all…”

“And you…” the girl saw her husband – the “Monster” – he was looking at her – and he said to her, “You look sick. Are you feeling well…?”

The girl looked fearfully at her husband – as if she were dumbstruck with fear.

Her husband shouted at her: “Are you dumb or something…? I haven’t heard you speak a single word since we got married…”

The terrified girl ran into their room.

She waited with fear for her angry husband to come into the room.

But – her husband did not come.

Her husband – the “Monster” – he stormed out of the house and went to his favourite pub – to cool off his anger. 

She woke up from her sleep when her husband entered their room late at night.

He looked all disheveled – his eyes were bloodshot red.  

He seemed to be horribly drunk.

She felt tremors of trepidation.

She shut her eyes tightly.

She pretended to be asleep.

She feigned sleep – hoping he wouldn’t get into the bed beside her.

She was afraid that his dreadfully drunken state – he may rape her.

But – he didn’t get into the bed beside her.

He threw his mattress on the floor and collapsed on it – into deep sleep.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

Next morning – when she woke up – she found that her husband had already gone away. 

Story to be continued… 

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

This Story Posted Earlier at URLs: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2018/04/the-monster-chapter-1.html  and  and   https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/11/20/unfinished-story-the-monster/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/12/18/my-unfinished-stories-the-monster/ and  https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/10/unfinished-story-monster-chapter-1.html  and  https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/10/09/unfinished-fiction-short-story-monster/  etc 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

How NWWA “Saved” My Marriage – Story from my Vizag Navy Days

PROLOGUE

An interesting online conversation with a Military Wife on AWWA and AFWWA reminded me of this hilarious “memoir” from my Vizag (Visakhapatnam) Navy Days – a story that happened more than 30 years ago – sometime in the late 1980’s. 

Before I tell you the story – I feel it will be apt to inform my civilian readers that AWWA (Army Wives Welfare Association) NWWA (Navy Wives Welfare Associaltion) and AFWWA (Air Force Wives Welfare Association) are voluntary organisations of military wives (of the respective defence services) with the noble objective of social welfare among families of defence personnel and military veterans. 

My “Better Half” cherishes fond memories of NWWA (called NOWA earlier) – especially in earlier days – when she participated in social activities and made a significant contribution towards the “Adult Education” aspect in the welfare domain. 

Later – once she started working – she could not participate in NWWA activities which were held in working hours. 

Now – after this rather prosaic prologue – let me tell you the story of How NWWA “Saved” My Marriage...

 

HOW NWWA “SAVED” OUR MARRIAGE

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

How NWWA “Saved” Our Marriage

Part 1

NOWA  SODA  NWWA  LOHA  (The Navy Ladies)

More than 42 years ago – in the 1970’s – it was a  delightful laissez-faire Navy – especially in Mumbai (then called Bombay).

Those days – I was a carefree Navy Bachelor – enjoying my first sea appointments of front-line warships of the Western Fleet based at Mumbai – and they were the happiest days of my life.  

If you were carefree Navy Bachelor serving on a ship based in Mumbai – there was so much fun and life outside in “Maximum City” – that you barely knew what Naval Wives did – except for the occasional social interaction during one of those rare ship’s wardroom parties where ladies were invited.

Of course – if you were married – you had probably heard of an organisation called Naval Officers Wives Association (NOWA) – especially if your Captain’s wife was an active “Social Bee”.

And – if you were a smart career conscious “upwardly-mobile” single “eligible bachelor” Naval Officer – it made sense to hobnob with SODA.

No – by SODA – I don’t mean the “soda” you mix with whisky.

I am referring to Senior Officers Daughters Association (SODA).

Needless to say – acquiring a SODA wife had great advantages – because you suddenly acquired lots of influential “uncles” and “aunties” in the service.

Now – once a “SODA” daughter married a Naval Officer – she also became a “NOWA” wife.

If you had a double benefit wife (“SODA + NOWA” wife) – she was an unbeatable winning combination who was guaranteed to propel you to high rank.

Now – with the entry of Lady Officers in the Navy – maybe it would be a good idea to start a Lady Officers Husbands Association (LOHA) for the Husbands of Lady Naval Officers to bond together.

Unfortunately – I did not have the honour of becoming a member of any of these exalted organisations.

1. I was not the wife of a Naval Officer – so I was not eligible for NOWA

2. I was not the daughter of a senior Naval Officer – so SODA was out of the reckoning.

3. I was not the husband of a Lady Naval Officer – so no LOHA for me.

I was just a mere Naval Officer.

But – I am still confused about one thing.

Suppose a Female Naval Officer marries a Male Naval Officer.

Does the Lady Naval Officer become a member of NOWA...?

Or – does the Naval Officer Husband of the Lady Naval Officer become a member of LOHA...?

Can you wear uniform and still be a member of these “social” organisations by virtue of your marriage...?

I am sure some knowledgeable veteran will clear this doubt and educate us – and – tell us – if so – why so – and – if not – why not.

When I got married in 1982 – my newly wedded wife automatically became a member of NOWA.

I discovered this when I saw my monthly mess bill – and – I found that my NOWA contribution had been duly deducted.

In the Navy – you have no choice in these matters.

Whether you like it or not – the moment you get married – your wife becomes a member of NOWA – and – the subscription is compulsorily deducted.  

However – when I got married more than 37 years ago in May 1982 – at that time – the Chief of the Naval Staff (CNS) was a lifelong Confirmed Bachelor.

The CNS was a true devoted “Sea Dog” – “married to the Navy” – and – he probably didn’t care much for NOWA (and other such wives’ associations).

So – in the absence of a “first lady” – it seemed that NOWA was adrift and defunct – at least in New Delhi – where I was posted at that time.

Meanwhile – my wife started working – and – I do not recall her going to any NOWA event.

She was an active member of the “Ladies Club” at IAT Pune (an inter-service institution) which my wife regularly attended – and she contributed significantly in enhancing Adult Literacy through Adult Education activities. 

Thereafter – when we were posted to Mumbai (then called Bombay) – I don’t think she participated in NOWA at Mumbai – since – we lived in Vasant Sagar in Churchgate – quite far away from the Navy Township – and – while I was busy on a ship – my wife was busy with our small son.

The only time my wife actively participated in NWWA was when we were posted to Vizag (Visakhapatnam).

Yes – you read right. 

Now – NOWA had become NWWA 

Yes – sometime in the mid 1980’s – NOWA was renamed as NWWA.

We love changing names – names of roads are changed – names of cities have been changed.

In the Navy too – “Supply and Secretariat” (S&S) became “Logistics” – TAS (Torpedo Anti-Submarine) became ASW (Anti-Submarine Warfare) – inter-service training “schools” became “colleges” and “institutes” – and even Naval Headquarters (NHQ) has become IHQ (Integrated Headquarters).

Similarly – “Naval Officers Wives Association” (NOWA) was re-christened “Navy Wives Welfare Association” (NWWA)

Those were halcyon NWWA days in Visakhapatnam (Vizag) – which was jokingly called the “Entertainment Naval Command” (ENC) – the others being the “Working Naval Command” (WNC) at Bombay (Mumbai) – and – “Sleeping Naval Command” (SNC) at Cochin (Kochi).

My son had started going to school – I was away sailing on my front-line warship most of the time – and my “homemaker” wife thoroughly enjoyed NWWA activities – and – she made lots of friends.

Besides social events like those grand “husbands’ night” parties with magnificent entertainment and delicious food – NWWA did a lot of genuine welfare and education activities too – in which my wife loved to participate.

Once my daughter arrived (our second child) – my wife had to taper off from NWWA activities to bring up the baby.

The story I am about to narrate occurred during this period. 

Part 2

“MADE FOR EACH OTHER” COUPLE

The most eagerly awaited event of Naval Social Calendar is the annual Navy Ball held in December as the grand finale of Navy Week.

And – the two highlights of the Navy Ball are the Fashion Show and the Navy Queen Contest.

We were surprised to see that the Vizag Navy Ball was much more grandiose than the Mumbai Navy Ball – the fashion show had top models walking the ramp – and the Navy Queen Contest had the best of gorgeous beauties participating – since this prestigious beauty pageant was a stepping stone for a career in showbiz and the glamour world.

Then – things changed.

There was a new C-in-C.

His wife automatically became the ex-officio Head of NWWA by virtue of her husband’s appointment.

As I told you earlier – NWWA is the acronym for Navy Wives Welfare Association – and was earlier known as Naval Officers Wives Association (NOWA). 

The new Head of NWWA (C-in-C’s wife) was a “charismatic” and forceful personality. 

The C-in-C’s wife had an indomitable persona – she even dominated her husband – the C-in-C – who wisely focused on professional affairs – and let his wife run social affairs.

Also – the new C-in-C’s wife was a staunch “feminist” – and she had “progressive” ideas.

She decreed that there would be no “commodification” of women.

So – the Navy Queen Contest was scrapped.

Instead of the Navy Queen Pageant – there would be a “made-for-each-other couple” contest. 

The “feminist” NWWA Head-Honcho also scrapped the Fashion Show by Female Models – because – as I told you earlier – this “activist” NWWA Boss was against the “commodification” of women.

Now – the Navy Queen Contest and Fashion Show were the highlights of the Navy Ball.

So – with the scrapping of the Navy Queen Contest and Fashion Show – all interest in the Navy Ball waned.

The sale of tickets for the Navy Ball fell sharply.

This problem was solved by compulsory sale of tickets to all officers. 

All Officers were ordered to attend the Navy Ball.

The second problem was that there were no entries for the “made-for-each-other couple” contest.

The high profile Navy Queen Pageant was an open competition – and – the Navy Queen contest used to attract a large number of entries from young ladies – from Vizag – and – even from places as far away as Calcutta (now Kolkata) Hyderabad, Bhubaneswar and Madras (now Chennai).

However – it seemed that no married couple wanted to “sashay on the ramp” for the “made-for-each-other couple” contest.

Yes – only married couples were eligible for the “made-for-each-other couple” contest. 

Well – the NWWA head-honcho may have been a self-styled feminist. 

But – apparently – she was not a truly “liberated” feminist. 

So – in her lexicon – a “couple” meant “husband and wife”. 

Civilian couples of Vizag did not fancy parading on the ramp – and – it seemed that the Navy Couples too were not keen on participating in the “made-for-each-other couple” contest. 

After many years of Navy Queen Contests – people were quite skeptical about this new “made-for-each-other couple” contest.

So – there was not even a single entry for the “made-for-each-other couple” contest.

The “powers-that-be” were disappointed with the poor response.

So – NWWA was pressed into action.

All “young” wives were told to “report” with their husbands for the preliminary round of the “made-for-each-other couple” contest in the ENC Wardroom Officers Mess.

My wife ignored the missive.

She did not even tell me about it.

In fact – most Navy Wives did the same.

The result was that just 3 couples turned up for the preliminary round.

They could have crowned the 3 couples then and there – as the winner – the first runner-up – and – second runner-up – of the “made-for-each-other couple” contest.

But – this did not happen.

The “head honcho” of NWWA was furious.

She was determined to make a grand success of her “trailblazer” idea – the “made-for-each-other couple” contest – which was being held for the first time in the Navy Ball.

Her prestige was at stake.

Yes – for her – the success of the “made-for-each-other couple” contest became a “prestige issue”.

So – she pressed her cohorts into action.

Qualitative Requirements (QRs) were drawn up – and “target couples” were identified to participate in the “made-for-each-other couple” contest. 

Lists of “target couples” were sent to ships and units – and commanding officers were ordered to “direct” those officers and their lady wives to “volunteer” – and be present for the preliminary round of the “made-for-each-other couple” contest that evening.

Simultaneously – similar parallel “directives” were passed on to the Navy Wives via NWWA channels.

Unfortunately – we – my Wife and Me – we were identified as a “target couple”.

A message was accordingly passed on to me – that my wife and I should be present for the preliminary round of the contest at 7 PM in the evening – my wife in a Sari – and Me – in “Red Sea Rig” Navy Uniform. 

I decided to ignore the “order”.

When I reached home – before I could speak – my agitated wife told me about the visit of some NWWA “office-bearer” ladies.

She was upset.

She had told the NWWA flunkies that she could not leave our baby daughter alone at home – and hence – she could not participate in the “made-for-each-other couple” contest.

But – the NWWA coterie gang refused to listen to her pleas. 

They said that NWWA had made Baby Care arrangements at the Navy Ball.  

My wife bluntly told them that she was not interested in taking part in the “made-for-each-other couple” contest. 

The NWWA coterie gang dropped subtle hints that “my wife’s “negative” attitude may not be good for my career...”

Remember – this was ENC – the “Entertainment Naval Command”.

This was the first time we had been posted in ENC. 

Our earlier postings were in WNC – the “Working Naval Command” – where the culture was different – and – for my wife – this was the first time NWWA was exerting pressure and compelling her to do something she did not want to do.

I did not want to force my wife to do anything against her will – especially participate in such a “made-for-each-other couple” contest – which I thought was quite ludicrous. 

We decided not to participate in the “made-for-each-other couple” contest.

So – we – my wife and Me – we did not go for the preliminary round for the “made-for-each-other couple” contest. 

We were duly marked “absent”.

Part 3

MY MARRIAGE IS “ON THE ROCKS”

Next morning – my boss – a Commodore – summoned me to his office.

The Commodore looked at me – and he said to me: 

“Look here. You know me. 

I never interfere in the personal lives of my officers. 

But – I beg you – please take your wife and go for that bloody preliminary round of the “made-for-each-other” couple contest in the evening...”

“Sir, the preliminary round was last evening...” I said.

“Well – last evening – only 5 couples landed up. So – the preliminary round of the “made-for-each-other couple” contest is re-scheduled at 7 PM this evening. You buggers don’t go for events – and we are being asked explanations from the top. Please make sure you go. I know you have a small son and a baby daughter. My wife will look after them. But you and your wife – please go for the preliminary round of the “made-for-each-other” couple contest – for heaven’s sake – please go – otherwise...” he pleaded with me.

“Sir, my wife …” I tried to reason with him.

“No excuses. I don’t want to hear any excuses...” my boss said.

“Sir, please listen …” I pleaded.

“What …?” my boss asked. 

I looked at my boss – and – with a sad face – I said to him:

“My marriage is on the rocks. 

My wife and Me – we are not on speaking terms. 

There is so much marital discord – that it looks like my marriage is going to break up – it seems that we are heading for a divorce...” 

“What...? Divorce...? Your marriage is on the rocks...? You never told me all this...!” my boss said – with a surprised look on his face.

“I am sorry, Sir – but under these circumstances of marital discord – I don’t think it is appropriate for us to take part in the “made-for-each-other couple” contest...” I said sheepishly.

“Okay. I can understand. I will tell them. But you must sort out things with your wife. You have small children. You may have some marital discord – but divorce is not a solution. You must try and make your marriage work. You must take some help in these matters. I will try and see what I can do to help you save your marriage. You can go now...” my boss said to me – with a worried look on his face.

Back in my office – I congratulated myself for my quick thinking – which had extricated us from the “made-for-each-other couple” contest.

Then – I had a good laugh to myself.

While I was laughing – my boss was acting.

My Boss made a two calls.

First – he called up the NWWA “powers-that-be”.

Then – he called up his wife.

The result was that we were declared a “marital discord case”.

And – the NWWA “Marriage Counselling Cell” was asked to intervene.

They were tasked to try to “save” our marriage – which was “on-the-rocks”.

Now – ladies love to gossip – especially NWWA Ladies. 

So – the rumor mill was instantaneously abuzz – and various theories about our marriage were floated by “know-it-all” gossip-mongers.

“They are incompatible...” the more charitable ladies said about us.

But – most ladies agreed that it was me – as the husband – who was fully to blame for the “breakdown” of our marriage.

Some ladies let their imagination run wild – they declared that I was a “terrible fellow”.

And – a few “bitchy” ladies even painted me as a “drunkard” and “wife-beater”.

Luckily – the NWWA “Marriage Counsellor” lived directly above our house in Naval Park – and she knew us well.

The NWWA “Marriage Counsellor” got a call from the NWWA “Head Honcho”. 

The NWWA “Head Honcho” asked the NWWA “Marriage Counsellor” to talk to us – and then – to fully brief her on the “marital discord case”.

The NWWA “Marriage Counsellor” had a hearty laugh. 

Then – the NWWA “Marriage Counsellor” said to the NWWA “Head-Honcho”: 

“Ma’am – I know them very well. 

They are my neighbours – they live just below my house. 

Nothing is wrong with their marriage. 

In fact – I had a chat with the wife just a few moments ago on the way up to my house. 

It looks like her naughty husband is up to some mischief. 

I will tell her about his prank – and she will straighten him out...” 

At first – the NWWA “Head Honcho” wasn’t convinced. 

So – the NWWA “Head Honcho” asked the NWWA “Marriage Counsellor”: 

“Are you sure...?” 

On hearing this – the NWWA “Marriage Counsellor” remarked about us: 

“I have seen so many marriages. 

My marriage may breakup – your marriage may breakup – but they are not going to split – that’s for sure...” 

The NWWA “Marriage Counsellor” felt that we – my “Wife and Me” – we were a “made-for-each-other couple” 

Yes – the NWWA “Marriage Counsellor” felt that – despite outside appearances – we were – in fact – a genuine “made-for-each-other couple”.

In her opinion – we were not a fake “made-for-each-other couple” – like many others – who put on external appearances and lovey-dovey Public Display of Affection (PDA) for the outside world – but internally – their marriages were not that “happy”.

(Well – that was her opinion)

When I reached home in the evening – I saw that my “marriage counsellor” neighbour and my wife – both of them – they were waiting for me.

I told them everything – and we had a big laugh.

And yes – thereafter – no one asked us to take part in the “made-for-each-other couple” contest 

The contest was won by a truly “made-for-each-other couple” – who were good friends of ours.

After this – for the rest of our tenure in Vizag – my embarrassed wife steered clear of NWWA – in order to avoid the “knowing looks” of pity and sympathy from ladies – for suffering such terrible husband like me (since rumors never die).

By the way – the moment the C-in-C was posted out from Vizag – and he left Vizag along with his “feminist” wife – the “made-for-each-other couple” contest was scrapped and discarded. 

The new C-in-C made sure that the traditional Navy Queen Pageant in the Navy Ball was started once again. 

As they say in the Navy: “Normal Service Resumed”

EPILOGUE 

Dear Reader: 

I haven’t attended the Navy Ball since retirement. 

I only hope that the Navy Ball with its unique Navy Queen Pageant and Fashion Show continues to this day (unless – someone has again changed things again just to suit his/her “whims and fancies”). 

If any Naval Officer or Navy Wife is reading this – do tell us about the latest trends in the Navy Ball – which – in our halcyon days in the Navy – was the pièce de résistance event of the Navy Week.  

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Abridged Extract of my Story A CASE OF MARITAL DISCORD Earlier Posted Online by me Vikram Karve more than 6 years ago in 2013 at 6/19/2013 04:18:00 PM in my blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/06/humor-in-uniform-case-of-marital-discord.html and re-posted by me a number of times in my blogs including at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/08/humor-in-uniform-how-nwwa-saved-my.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/04/humor-in-uniform-case-of-marital.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/04/humor-in-uniform-marriage-on-rocks.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/02/my-marriage-is-on-rocks-humor-in-uniform.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/09/humor-in-uniform-how-navy-saved-my.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/01/the-made-for-each-other-couple-contest.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/08/how-nwwa-saved-our-marriage.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/04/02/humor-in-uniform-made-for-each-other-couple-contest/ and http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2018/04/how-nwwa-saved-my-marriage-story-from.html etc