The Queer Couple

This story happened around 37 years ago – in the early 1980’s…

THE QUEER COUPLE

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

PART 1

The Kalka Mail arrived at Old Delhi Railway Station at 8:30 PM.

I hired an autorickshaw – and by the time I reached Curzon Road Apartments – it was almost 9:30 PM.

I ordered Butter Chicken and Naan from Banjara Restaurant (to be delivered home) – and then – I went up to my tiny one room flat on the 7^th Floor.

(Yes – it was a small one room flat – a kitchenette at the entrance – just one all-in-one room with a rather smallish double-bed – a small balcony – and a bathroom)

I opened my flat – went inside – switched on the geyser – and changed into my lungi.

I switched on the TV – poured a drink of Rum-Pani (Rum and Water) – and I waited for my food to arrive.

The doorbell rang.

My food had arrived.

The Butter Chicken was piping hot and the Naan were soft and fresh.

I dunked a piece of Naan in the Butter Chicken Gravy – put it on my tongue – and closed my eyes.

It was delicious.

I was savouring the lovely taste of the spicy Butter Chicken with the soft Naan – when suddenly – the doorbell rang – breaking my delicious trance.

I wondered who it was – it was almost 10 o’clock at night.

I got up – I walked to the door – and – I looked through the keyhole.

It was a man – a stranger.

“Who is this…?” I asked, in a loud voice.

“Your new neighbour…” the voice on the other side of the door said.

I opened the door.

It was a young man – fair and handsome.

“Yes…?” I said to him.

“I am your new neighbour…” he said – and he told me his name.

I introduced myself – and I said to him: “I have just come back from Calcutta…”

(Those days – in the early 1980’s – Kolkata was called Calcutta)

“I know…” he said, “you are in the Navy. You had gone to drop your wife for her delivery…”

“Yes…” I said, “but how do you know all this…?”  

“We found out from the other neighbours…” he said, “we just moved in last week – we – my wife and I – we are newly married…”

“Oh. That’s good…” I said – wondering why he was visiting me so late at night.

“I want to ask you a small favour…” he said.

“Favour…?” I said, curious.

“Can I sleep with you tonight…?” he asked.

“What…?” I said – taken aback.

“I mean – your wife is not here – you are all alone…” he said.

I was scandalized when I heard his words. 

Was he propositioning me…?

Just imagine – it was appalling – this disgusting pussy boy – ringing a stranger’s doorbell – and making indecent proposals.

And – he was newly married…!!!

It was unbelievable.

He was meeting me for the first time – he knew that there was just one smallish double-bed in these flats – and – he was making this brazen overture: “Your wife is not here – you are all alone – can I sleep with you tonight…?” 

Bloody Nonsense...!!!

It was outrageous.

Who the hell did he think I was…? A Bloody “Queer...?”

I decided to make it clear to him than and there. 

“Now you listen to me…” I said to him in a firm voice, “it seems you have got the wrong impression. I may be in the Navy – but I am not a bloody bum-bandit – and nor am I a frigging peg-boy – do you understand…? Now – you just get out of here…”

“Please…” he pleaded, “it is cold outside…”

“So – you go and sleep with your wife…” I said.

“She is sleeping with Sweetie…” he said.

“What…?” I said – confused.

“Sweetie is in bed with my wife…” he said.

It was a bizarre situation.

They were newly married.

Wife was in bed with Sweetie – pussy bumping – in flagrante delicto.

And – husband was trying to get into bed with me.

Astounding depravity – as “queer” as it can get.

Well – Dear Reader – I am a simple straightforward married man – a “puritan” in thoughts and deeds.

There was no question of getting entangled with such perverted degenerates.

It could be dangerous – very dangerous – and most immoral.

I looked sternly at the “fair and handsome” man in front of me.

“Please…” he pleaded with me, in a beseeching voice, “you are all alone…”

“You bloody filthy faggot – you want me to sleep with you in lieu of my wife…?” I shouted at him, “You just get out of here – and don’t ring my bell again…”

And – I angrily slammed the door in his face.

Later – as I lay in bed – my imagination ran wild – as – in my mind’s eye – I fantasized – trying to “visualise” erotic scenes of passionate sapphic lovemaking – being performed on the other side of the wall – in the neighbouring flat.

And so – I drifted into a pleasurable sleep.

PART 2

Next morning – I woke up at 6 AM.

I got ready for my morning jog.

I opened the door slowly.

I was dreading to see my pansy neighbour sitting outside.

But – he wasn’t there – and – I didn’t see him in the corridor either. 

He must have gone into his own house at night – to join Sweetie and his wife.

Maybe – they were enjoying a “threesome” inside – AC/DC – a “ménage à trois”.

Soon – I was jogging on India Gate Lawns.

After my jog – I stopped at my favourite place – to do some exercises.

I heard a feminine voice call out my name.

I turned in the direction of the voice.

As she walked towards me – first – I admired her lovely figure – and then – when she came close and stood in front of me – I focussed on her face. 

She was an exquisite beauty – nubile – fair complexion – her sharp features accentuated by the rays of the morning sun – her nose slightly turned up, so slender and translucent, as though accustomed to smelling nothing but perfumes.

I looked at her – mesmerized – I had never seen a woman who was so beautiful, so virginal, so alluring.

“Good Morning…” she said, shaking me out of my trance.

“Good Morning…” I said.

“I am your new neighbour…” she said.

“Oh…” I said.

“You haven’t recognised me – but – I have seen you swimming in the club…” she said.

“Yes – I was a regular swimmer – before I got married…” I said.

“We all admired your butterfly stroke…” she said, “in fact – we had a crush on you – so we found out everything about you…”.

“Oh – really…? I said.

“Yes – I was in college then – I got married just last month…” she said.

“Oh…” I said, “I am sorry about your husband. I spoke quite rudely to him – and I didn’t let him inside. He must have been shivering outside in the cold all night…”

“It’s okay…” she said, “he is inside now – in a warm bed…”

As her words sunk in – my imagination was aroused.

So now – he was in bed with Sweetie….!!!

At night – she and Sweetie…!!!

And now – he and Sweetie…!!!

It was astounding – this was truly a “broadminded” swinging couple…!!!

“So – your husband is in bed with Sweetie…?” I asked her.

“No. No. My husband is very scared of Sweetie…” she said, “so I brought Sweetie along with me…”

“Oh…” I said – and looked around – trying to locate Sweetie – curious how she looked.

“She must be playing behind the bushes…” my lovely neighbour said.

Sweetie – “playing” behind the bushes – “ménage à moi”…? 

My train of thoughts was going berserk again.

Suddenly – my beautiful neighbour called out: “Sweetie – come…”

And – a black Doberman dog came running out of the bushes towards my lovely neighbour.

I do not have words to express the emotion I felt – surprise – shock – disappointment – or – laughing inside at myself…!!!

“So – Sweetie is a Dog…?” I asked my gorgeous neighbour.

“Yes. What did you think…?” she asked – with a hint of curiosity in her eyes.

“Nothing. Nothing…” I said.

“We’ve had Sweetie for many years – she is our pet dog. Now – after I got married a few days ago – Sweetie lives with my parents. My parents had to rush abroad to the US last evening since my uncle had a sudden heart attack and died. So – they left Sweetie with me. And – my husband is terrified of dogs…” she said.

“She looks quite ferocious…” I said – looking at Sweetie – the Doberman dog.

“Once she gets to know you – she is very friendly and affectionate…” my lovely neighbour said.

“Then – why is your husband so scared of her…?” I asked.

“He told me that he was attacked and severely bitten by a dog when he was a young boy – and so – after that traumatic incident – he is terrified of dogs…” she said. 

“Oh…” I said, “anyway – till your parents come back – your husband can stay in my flat it he wants…”

“Thank you…” she said – giving me a sweet smile.

But that didn’t happen.

Surprisingly – the doberman Sweetie took a liking to me – and – I started liking her too.

So – Sweetie would spend the nights with me in my flat – while my newly married neighbours enjoyed their richly deserved conjugal delights in their “matrimonial” bed.

And – in the mornings – Me – Sweetie the doberman dog – and the lovely lady (my beautiful neighbour) – the three of us – we would all go jogging on India Gate Lawns – and sometimes – in the evenings too – to jog, exercise and play.

One morning – as I was sitting in my office – my father-in-law called from Calcutta – a “Trunk Call”.

All was well – the delivery date was approaching – my wife wanted to speak to me – that’s all.

(Remember – Dear Reader – in the early 1980’s – there were no mobile phones – no internet – no emails – only landline telephones – and – junior officers like me did not get residential phones – so – we had to speak on the office phone – and – since a “trunk call” was quite expensive – we wrote letters to each other)

“What’s happening…?” my wife asked me over the phone.

“All is well…” I said.

“Yes. I heard so…” my wife said, “you have been seen frolicking around India Gate Lawns…”

“How did you come to know…? Who told you…? Is it that bitchy friend of yours who lives on the 6^th floor…?” I asked.

“Is it true or not…? Just tell me that…” my wife said.

“It’s a dog – our new neighbour’s dog – Sweetie…” I said.

“I am not talking about the dog – I am talking about the lovely “owner” of the dog – the lady with the dog. You be careful. I will be “watching” from here…” my wife said menacingly – and she put down the phone. 

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)  

Unfinished Version of this Story posted in my blogs earlier at urls: https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/12/unfinished-story-queer-couple.html  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/12/14/unfinished-story-2/

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Tweethearts

PROLOGUE 

Dear Reader:

Suppose a stranger says to you:

“My wife loves you…”

What will you do…?

Well – I don’t know what I will do – since no one has said that to me – as yet.

Now – Dear Reader – tell me:

What will you do – if a stranger says to you:

“My wife hates you….”

It happened to me a few days ago.

Let me tell you about it.

TWEETHEARTS 

A Twitter Love Story 

Short Fiction

By

VIKRAM KARVE

PART 1

I was sitting in happy solitude on a comfortable sofa in a cosy corner of the spacious bar of my elite club enjoying a whisky-soda and tweeting on my smartphone.

It was 7 PM – the bar had just opened – and I was the only person in the bar (besides the barman).

A young gentleman walked in.

He ordered a drink at the bar.

While his drink was being prepared – he looked in my direction.

He seemed to be looking at me intently – as if he knew me.

But – I did not recognise him.

The gentleman picked up his drink – and he walked towards me.

The young gentleman said to me: “Good Evening, Sir…”

“Good Evening…” I said, “please sit down…”

The young gentleman said “Thank You, Sir” – and he sat down opposite me.

Then – he looked at me and said: “Sir – by any chance – are you…?” (He mentioned my name)

“Yes…” I said, “that is my name…”

The young gentleman introduced himself.

I didn’t recall ever meeting him.

In fact – I had never heard of him before.

So – I said to him: “I am sorry – but – I really don’t recognise you. Have we met before…?”

“No, Sir – we haven’t met before – but – my wife knows you…” he said.

“Your wife knows me…?” I said, curious.

“Yes, Sir. In fact – my wife hates you….” the young man said.

I was taken aback.

I recovered from the surprise and I said to the man: “Your wife “hates” me…? How can you say that…? I don’t think I know your wife – or you…”

“Of course, you know my wife…” the man said, “her twitter handle is @XXX…”

I recognised the twitter handle he mentioned at once – @XXX – it was that nasty “anonymous” troll who made rude, provocative and acrimonious comments on my tweets.

From the tone of the tweets – I had guessed that @XXX was probably an obnoxious woman – but then – it could have been a depraved man hiding behind that anonymous handle @XXX – which seemed “gender neutral” – in fact – it was a rather inanimate sounding handle.

(Dear Reader: For obvious reasons – I don’t want to reveal her actual Twitter Handle – so – I am calling the Twitter handle @XXX…)

I looked at the man – and I said to him: “Oh…! So – @XXX is your wife…! I thought@XXX is a fake handle who is trolling me…”

“Trolling…?”

“Yes – this @XXX – who you say is your wife – I am having a “Twitter Battle” with her right now – she made some nasty comments on my tweet – so – I was rebutting…” I said.

“Sir – her twitter “handle” may be “anonymous” – a pseudonym – but she is very much real…” he said.

“Yes – you told me – @XXX is your wife…” I said.

“Sir – I recognised you at once – from your photo on your Twitter Profile. You reveal everything on your profile – your picture – your bio – everything is genuine – but – she has an anonymous profile – a misleading bio…” he said.

“Oh, Yes. And – for her Display Picture (DP) – she had a picture of a crab – then changed it to a scorpion – and now – it is a deadly snake – a menacing cobra with its hood open – she likes to have very vicious and aggressive DPs indeed…” I said.

I heard the sound of a Twitter notification.

I picked my smartphone and looked at the screen.

It was a tweet from @XXX.

As usual – the tweet from @XXX was a spiteful tweet - accusing me of “running away from the “battle” like a coward…”

I looked at the man and I said to him: “I was talking to you – so – I didn’t tweet for a while – and – your wife - @XXX – she has made a rather disparaging tweet against me…”

“Yes, Sir – I see it here…” the man said looking at his smartphone.

“You see her tweet…?” I said, surprised.

“Sir – I follow both of you on Twitter…” he said.

“Oh – so you are on Twitter too…!” I said.

“Yes, Sir – I am on Twitter – but I am mostly “passive” – I just read tweets. And Sir – please don’t ask me my “Twitter Handle” – I want to remain totally anonymous – for obvious reasons…” he said.

“Oh, Yes. In your case – I can understand. But your wife – there are no restrictions on her – so – why does she want to remain anonymous on Twitter – what is she afraid of…?” I said.

Suddenly – a thought came to my mind – so – I said to the man: “Don’t tell me that she is also an officer in the…”

“No, No, Sir…” the man said, “she is a civilian. She works here – in Mumbai – and I get posted all over the place – we have a long-distance marriage…”

“Oh – No Wonder – I remember I had posted a story about a “Long Distance Marriage” – and she - @XXX – your wife – she went “rabid” – tweeting such nasty comments…” I said.

“I know, Sir – I read your story – and her tweets too – she has very strong views on this subject – Yes, Sir – she is quite opinionated…” he said.

“Opinionated…? That’s an understatement. I think she is extremely rigid, prejudiced and dogmatic on some issues – almost fanatical. And – very hot-headed too…” I said.

“Yes, Sir…” he smiled, “hot-headed and obstinate. Who knows that better than me…!”

“I have one problem with her. Disagreeing with my views is fine – but – there is no need to get personal. Sometimes – she insults me very badly – she calls me all sorts of things – “bigoted” – “chauvinist” – “hypocrite” – all sorts of terrible slurs…!” I said.

“I know, Sir…” he said, “I have seen those “hateful” tweets. I have advised her – but she won’t listen…”

“If she “hates” me so much – why doesn’t she block me…?” I said.

“Why don’t you ask her…?” he said.

“Is she here…?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes, Sir – she is sitting by the seaside – tweeting away. She just had a “Twitter Battle” with you. Now – it must be with someone else. She “fights” multiple Twitter Battles…”

“Like a multi-front war…?”

“Yes…” he said, “but I think she “enjoys” the “Twitter Battles” with you the most – she gets totally “hyper” when she interacts with you…”

“Really…?”

“Yes, Sir. For her – on Twitter – you are “Enemy No. 1” – and you are probably the only one who engages her 24/7…”

“Yes. I am on Twitter all my waking hours…” I said.

“The worst is at night…” he said.

“At night…?”

“Yes, Sir – late at night – when we are in bed – instead of making love to me – she is engaged in “Twitter Battles” with you…”

“Oh…” I said.

“Sir – our married life is ruined because of your “Twitter Battles” – especially the “bouts” which extend late into the night…” he said.

“Oh – I really didn’t imagine…” I said, feeling contrite.

“Sir, just last night – when we were in bed – and I was in a “romantic” mood – she suddenly saw your tweet saying that military wives should be either homemakers or teachers – and she went “bonkers” – berserk with anger…” he said.

“I know – it was quite an acrimonious exchange of tweets…” I said.

“Sir, it lasted all night – your “twitter battle” was still going on when I woke up at 2 AM for a glass of water…” he said.

“I know…” I said, “I got quite carried away “battling” it out with her. She lost the argument – so – as usual she started making personal comments on me – “You are the biggest hypocrite I have seen – a man of double standards…” – “You try to show that you are a feminist. But actually – you are a misogynist…” – and – when I tried to make amends – she accused me of “talking down” to her in a condescending manner…”

“I know, Sir…” he said, “I saw the exchange of tweets in the morning…”

I finished the remains of my drink.

I saw that his glass was empty too.

“Let’s have a refill…” I said to him, “What’s your drink…? Whisky-Soda…?”

“No. No. Sir – let’s go out – my wife must be wondering why I am taking so long…” he said, “I’ll order drinks for all of us and tell the barman to send them to the seaside…”

“To be frank – I’d rather not meet your wife…” I said.

“Come on, Sir – don’t you want to meet your “Tweetheart” …?” he said, with a mischievous smile.

“Tweetheart…!!!” I said, “are you crazy…?”

“Sir – I am curious to see what happens when you two come face to face for the first time…” he said.

“You want to see me getting beaten up…?” I said, “seeing how violently she hates me – I am sure she will ferociously attack me the moment she sees me. Remember – she knows how I look – I have my latest Photo as my Display Picture on my Twitter Profile…”

“Don’t worry, Sir – I am there with you. Please come, Sir – I want the two of you to meet and talk – for my sake…” he insisted, “I want a “truce” between you two…”

“Truce…? You mean a “Twitter Truce” – do you…?

“Yes, Sir…”

“It’s easy…” I said, “I told you before. You just tell her to “block” me – or – at least – she can “unfollow” me…”

“That’s not possible, Sir. She is “addicted” to you…” he said.

“Addicted…?”

“Yes, Sir. And – I am sure you are “addicted” to her too – because you too haven’t unfollowed or blocked her despite all those insulting tweets she has tweeted against you…” he said, “Sir – people are addicted to “love” – you two are addicted to “hate” – a “violent” relationship – where people enjoy being nasty to each other. You are addicted to hating each other – you enjoy hurting each other – it’s like an online version of BDSM…”

“What…? “Online BDSM”…? Are you crazy…?”

“Sorry, Sir – I just wanted to say that you hate each other so much…”

“Well – I don’t hate her – it is she who spews venom at me…” I said, “at least till now – she is doing it offline on Twitter. But – if she sees me in person – she may even “bite” me viciously with all her “venom” – remember – her latest DP is a poisonous cobra snake…!”

“Sir – please come and meet her – I assure you that you will be absolutely safe…” he said.

“Okay…” I said, “since you are guaranteeing my safety – let’s go and meet your wife…”

And so – I walked along with the young gentleman – towards the seaside promenade – and I steeled myself for the encounter with my Twitter “nemesis” – @XXX – my “Tweetheart” (as her husband had jokingly called her). 

PART 2 

We – the young gentleman and I – we walked towards the seaside – and – I saw her – my “Twitter Enemy” – @XXX – for the first time in my life.  

I had expected @XXX to be a “feminist” type “shrew”.

But – what I saw before me totally staggered me – it really shook me up and it made me feel uneasy.

She was the most intimidating woman I had ever seen – very tough looking – and she was looking at me in a curious manner – as we walked towards her.

Surely – she must have recognised me – from my photo on my Twitter Profile – and – she must be wondering what I was doing with her husband.

We – @XXX and I – we had just had a vicious “Twitter Battle” – and – she had sent me some really nasty tweets – to which I had responded “appropriately” – resulting in quite an acrimonious situation.

I was terrified should she convert her online “Twitter” anger into offline real-life fury.

She was the most tough looking “macho woman” I had ever seen – a “masculine” female – a “He-Woman” – a “She-Male” – well – I really can’t find words to describe her – but I am sure you have got an idea how formidable she looked.

Yes – she looked like a “body builder” – her arms were as big as my thighs – and – I was sure that she could easily knock me out with one punch and beat me to pulp.

Yes – this Macho “He-Woman” could easily pulverize me.

I could see that the “Macho Woman” was looking at me curiously.

I trembled with fear – like a lamb being taken to the slaughter.

The young gentleman pointed to the “He-Woman” and he said to me: “Sir – please meet “YYY” – my course-mate from the academy…”

Taken aback – I said to him: “So – this not your wife…?”

“Of course not, Sir – I told you that my wife is a civilian…” he said.

“Where is you wife…?” I asked him.

“She is over there – sitting on the parapet by the seaside – tweeting…” the “Macho-Woman” said – pointing towards the promenade.

“I’ll get her…” the young gentleman said – and he walked towards the promenade.

I looked at the “Macho-Woman” – feeling relieved that she was not my “Twitter Enemy” @XXX…

“Macho-Woman” smiled at me and said: “Sir – I am posted to Mumbai – so – I had called my course-mate and his wife to the club…”

I smiled at her.

She smiled back at me.

Then – she said: “Ah – there they come…”

I looked towards the sea.

The young gentleman and his wife @XXX emerged from the darkness.

Light from the overhead floodlight fell on their faces.

I looked at my “Twitter Enemy” @XXX.

When I saw her face – I was rendered speechless with awe.

I had never imagined that @XXX would look so lovely – so dainty and delicate.

She was an exquisite beauty – with flawless fair complexion – her luxuriant black hair flowing down her back – her sharp features accentuated by the light falling on her face – her nose slightly turned up, so slender and translucent – as though accustomed to smelling nothing but perfumes.

Yes – she really looked lovely.

I had never seen anyone so beautiful, so virginal, and so vulnerable.

She was truly gorgeous.

I could not take my eyes off her.

The young gentleman’s voice interrupted my trance.

“Sir – your “Tweetheart” @XXX – my wife Menaka…” he said.

“Menaka”…!!! The name suited her perfectly. She indeed looked like an “Apsara” – a celestial beauty.

The young gentleman – Menaka’s husband – he said to me: “And, of course – Sir – you need no introduction – I am sure Menaka has your profile picture and “bio” etched in her mind…” 

I smiled at Menaka – she smiled back – not a genuine smile – but a smile of forced geniality.

She didn’t seem quite happy to see me.

“Sir – why don’t you join us for dinner…?” the young gentleman said to me.

I looked at Menaka – aka – Twitter Handle @XXX.

I could clearly see the message in her eyes – she was signalling me “NO”.

So – I said to the young gentleman: “Thank you so much – but – I have to get back to Pune – my wife will be waiting for me – I had told her that I would be back home by midnight…”

“Sir – are you going to drive all the way to Pune at night…” he asked.

“No. No. I have hired a taxi – I had sent the driver to have dinner – he should be back by now…” I said.

“Oh…” he said, “so you have come on a day’s visit to Mumbai…?”

“Yes…” I said, “I had some work in Ballard Estate in the afternoon – and – I came to the club to pick up my renewed membership cards – and after that – I decided to have a drink in the bar – and I was so lucky to meet you…” I said.

“And – your “Tweetheart”…” he joked.

“Yes…” I said, “it was pure serendipity…”

I looked at all of them – and said “Goodbye”.

The young gentleman and his course-mate (the “Macho-Woman) – both wished me “Goodbye” – but – Menaka didn’t say anything – but – I could see relief in her eyes that I was going away.

I turned – and I walked towards the car park. 

PART 3

My Taxi was waiting for me.

As we drove towards Pune – I thought about my encounter with Menaka – who I earlier knew only as Twitter Handle @XXX

I felt angry at the way she had snubbed me.

I wondered how a person who was so horrible on Twitter could be so delicate in real life.

What a contrast between her online and offline persona – like Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde.

Suddenly – there was a notification sound on my smartphone.

@XXX (aka Menaka) – she had sent me a Private Message on Twitter – what they call Direct Message or “DM” in Twitter Parlance.

[NB: Twitter TimeLine (TL) is public – the Tweets and Comments can be seen my all. Twitter Direct Message (DM) is private – the DMs between the two persons can be seen only by the two persons involved…]

“Hi – it was good meeting you. BTW – you look even more handsome than your profile picture…” Menaka had messaged me.

I was taken aback.

This was the first time I had received a DM from @XXX (aka Menaka).

Till now – it was only acrimonious comments on my Twitter Timeline (TL).

I replied to her DM – Menaka replied too – and then – we had a Private Twitter Conversation.

Here is the gist of the “DM” conversation between Menaka and Me.

Menaka: Hi – it was good meeting you. BTW – you look even more handsome than your profile picture.

Me: Thank you. But – I never imagined you would look so “najuk”…

Menaka: “Najuk”…?

Me: You look so “Dainty and Delicate” – so lovely…

Menaka: You mistook my husband’s “Macho-Woman” course-mate for me – isn’t it…?

Me: Yes. The way you are aggressive on Twitter – I thought you would be one of those intimidating “masculine” women – but you are so feminine…

Menaka: It’s good you didn’t stay for dinner…

Me: How could I – after the way you looked at me – clearly telling me not to stay for dinner…

Menaka: I didn’t want you to stay of dinner.

Me: But why…?

Menaka: My husband would have found out…

Me: Found out what…?

Menaka: That we are in love with each other…!!!

Me: What…?

Menaka: Aren’t you in love with me…?

Me: I don’t know…

Menaka: Of course, you are in love with me – I knew all along – the way you engage with me on Twitter – and now – I saw it in your eyes…

Me: Maybe…

Menaka: You are in love with me. I am in love with you. We are in love with each other. Accept it.

Me: I am married.

Menaka: So am I.

Me: I am double your age – maybe even more…

Menaka: That doesn’t matter…

Me: You have such a nice husband…

Menaka: But I don’t love him the way I love you…

Me: But why…?

Menaka: I am demisexual…?

Me: “Demisexual…?”

Menaka: I need a strong emotional connection to be attracted to someone…

Me: “Strong Emotional Connection”…?

Menaka: Like we have on Twitter.

Me: But we “hate” each other on Twitter.

Menaka: That doesn’t matter – it’s the “emotional connect” that matters…

Me: I am confused…

Menaka: BTW – you are “demisexual” too…

Me: Really…? Now you have totally confused me…

Menaka: Let me explain it to you – what “demisexuality” means – why we are in love with each other…

And then – Dear Reader – we (@XXX aka Menaka and Me) – we had a long DM conversation on Twitter – and in the end – I was convinced that both of us were indeed “demisexual” – and we were truly in love with each other.

So – it was the beginning of a beautiful Twitter relationship – an eternal relationship – a unique stimulating “dual” relationship – which continues till today – and will continue forever.

On Twitter TL – we spew “hate” at each other.

On Twitter DM – we make “love” to each other. 

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This article is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Part 1 of this story written by me Vikram Karve posted in my blogs at urls: https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/08/twitter-warriors.html  and  https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/08/30/twitter-warriors-a-story-part-1/ and Parts 1 and 2 at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/08/twitter-warriors-parts-1-and-2.html and  https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/08/twitter-warriors-parts-1-and-2_30.html  and  https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/08/30/twitter-warriors-parts-1-and-2-unfinished-story/

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.