Thursday, March 24, 2016

Durable Marriage Guide


“Durable” means Long-Lasting or Enduring.

Therefore – “Durable Marriage” means Long-Lasting Marriage.

I feel that any marriage that has lasted for over 30 years can be called a “Durable Marriage”.

Please note that a “Durable Marriage” need not be a “Successful Marriage or a “Happy Marriage – it just means that the marriage has endured for many years.

Do you want to have a “Durable Marriage”...?

If so – here is a Tip.

Memories of a Much Married Veteran

Let me tell you a story.

It happened 34 years ago  in the year 1982.

We were a newly married couple.

Our family of three – my wife  me – and our cute 3 month old little girl – our pet dog Sherry – a tiny Lhasa Apso puppy we got as a wedding gift – we all lived happily in a small one-room flat in Curzon Road Apartments on Kasturba Gandhi Marg in New Delhi (where I was then posted).

Our house was in a fantastic location  everything was nearby - the lush greenery of India Gate, the posh Connaught Place (CP), the foodie delights Bengali Market and Pandara Place, Movie Halls, Auditoriums, Libraries, Offices, Exhibition Grounds, Restaurants, you name it and it was there – even my office was nearby – it was the best location in Delhi  ideal for a newly married couple  and we really enjoyed living there.

Suddenly  one morning  my wife felt “homesick”. 

She said that she missed her mother and her father  and that she was yearning to meet them.

This is what I did on hearing of her desire.

The first thing I did on reaching office was to get airline concession forms for my wife (those days defence personnel and their families got 50% concession on Indian Airlines).

Then I went to the Indian Airlines office near CP  and I booked my wife on the afternoon flight to Srinagar.

(My father-in-law  who was in the Army  was posted to Srinagar at that point of time)

I came home.

My wife was surprised to see me home so early.

I showed my wife the airline ticket to Srinagar.

My wife was taken aback.

I told my “stunned” wife to pack her bag.

Then I dropped her on my scooter to the airport in time to catch the afternoon flight to Srinagar.

After the flight had taken off I rang up my father-in-law from the STD Booth at the airport.

I told him that his darling daughter was on the flight to Srinagar and I asked him to pick her up from Srinagar Airport.

My father-in-law was baffled and totally surprised on hearing the unexpected news that his daughter was on her way to Srinagar.

He asked me the reason for her sudden visit.

I told him the truth – that she was feeling “homesick”.

I also told my father-in-law that I had no problem even if my wife (his daughter) stayed with them for as long as she wished.

My wife returned within a week.

I have learnt in life that undue possessiveness kills relationships

The trick is to “let go” – never try to hold on to someone – if he or she wants to go  just let them go.

I do not claim to have a “successful” marriage. 

Success is a qualitative and subjective thing. 

And  arranged marriages are hardly expected to “rock” like love marriages.

But after surviving together for almost 34 years – we can certainly claim to have had a long and enduring marriage.

Yes – believe it or not – we have been married for almost 34 years now.

Is it a happy marriage?

Well  as far as I am concerned  I am quite happy with my marriage – but whether my wife is happy or not  you will have to ask her. 

By the way  even now I have “let go” of my wife from time to time – and her mother (my darling mother-in-law) calls her from time to time.

And I find it quite amusing that my wife actually “misses” me – and she wants to come back.

You’ve got the gist of what I want to say  haven’t you?


I have observed that this “let go” principle applies to everything – animate and inanimate – esoteric and exoteric.

If you “let go” – it will come back

If it doesn’t come back  then it was not worth holding onto anyway

This applies to things  this applies to people  this applies to all kinds of relationships  at work  and in your personal life  to your spouse, your children, parents, friends, lovers  everyone you are in a relationship with.

Just “Let Go”.

I have also observed one thing in life – maybe I’ll call it the “Vikram Karve Dictum”:

What you run after  runs away from you

What you run away from  runs after you

This happened to me too – during my bachelor days of inchoate romance and unrequited love.

The girls I ran after – they ran away from me.

And – a girl who I wanted to run away from – she chased me – and I had to run for my life.

But that’s another story which I will tell you later.

For now  just remember that possessiveness kills relationships

So – if you want a durable marriage:


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1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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You Must Learn to “Let Go”

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