Tuesday, April 24, 2012



A Wedding is an Event that gets over in a day or two. It is a Public Ceremony, a Celebration, that involves a number of people. A wedding culminates in a marriage.

A Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It is a Private Relationship between husband and wife. Marriage is a long term union, a bond of loyalty, fidelity, faithfulness, friendship and companionship. Marriage is not a mere event, it is a journey of life.

I find it intriguing that many people focus more on the wedding than on the marriage.

Parents and relatives expend huge resources and put in maximum efforts towards planning and executing the wedding ceremony. 

Many have extravagant weddings, and some spend money beyond their means, because they consider a wedding as a status symbol.

The celebrations are sometimes so elaborate and the festivities are on such a large scale that Wedding Planners have to be employed in order to plan, conduct and ensure a Grand Wedding.

Even the bride and groom focus all their attention on the wedding ceremonies and elaborately plan all aspects to the last detail – venue, clothes, makeover, decoration, guest lists, what they are going to wear and how they are going to participate in various social and religious ceremonies like Mehendi, Sangeet, Wedding, Reception and Honeymoon. ( I have seen the bride and groom rehearsing with choreographers for dancing in the sangeet and wedding planners for the other events).

The honeymoon to an exotic location is planned well in advance.

The honeymoon is the interregnum between the wedding and the marriage.

Once the honeymoon is over the marriage begins.

Others can plan a successful and lavish wedding for you, but you (husband and wife) have to make your own marriage successful.

There is a saying that sometimes a Grand Wedding leads to a Poor Marriage.

I write this for the young couple who are about to get married. They seem to be all gaga and excited about the wedding, the venues, the ceremonies and rituals they are going to have, the clothes they are going to wear, the food they are going to serve, the guest list, the gifts, the grand reception, and of course, the honeymoon. I wish they spare a thought   for what is going to happen once the honeymoon is over.

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
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Email: vikramkarve@sify.com        

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.


indu chhibber said...

It is funny how we expend so much energy & precious resources on a charade & forget the kernal---a true mirror of our times.No wonder divorce cases are multiplying.

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ Indu - yes, you are right about forgetting the kernel - why is everyone so ostentatious and status conscious that they do not pay attention to the real issues?

Ruchi Sunandan said...

Try and I believe these expenses are useless! For Example, the amount that was spent on weddings around me and including my own, I could have easily made a huge house for myself and have 100s of dogs there or sponsor somebody's education.
But in this whole thing, there is also a situation like mine - where the couple knows what they want, they understand marriage is a journey, but the elders involved don't listen to anything about the possibility of a 'no expense' wedding. What to do in such situations. No amount of convincing or talking or even 'dhamki' works.

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ Ruchi - that's the practical versus the sentimental problem, and as always, sentiment wins...!!! LOL