Out Pipe – Part 1 – Story from My Navy Days

NAVY CUT

Tobacco – the Navy Connection 

OUT PIPE

Story 

By

VIKRAM KARVE

NB:

1. This story happened 42 years ago in the 1970’s.

2. For the benefit of my civilian readers – certain Naval Terms have been explained in brackets/italics. Military/Naval/Veteran readers may skip these explanations.

PART 1

We sailed out after breakfast in the morning.

At around 10 AM – “Special Sea Dutymen” (SSD) had been “secured” after we left Vizag harbour.

[Special Sea Dutymen (SSD) are key sailors involved in certain important evolutions of the ship like entering/leaving harbour, anchoring, coming alongside, close-quarter manoeuvring, refuelling at sea etc. Officers and Key Senior/Junior Sailors and in each department man/operate vital posts/equipment during these evolutions].

SSD had been “closed up” before leaving harbour – and – SSD was “secured” after leaving harbour.

[“close up” means to immediately proceed to place of duty. “secure” means to stop work. After the evolution is completed – the SSD hands over duties to the “Duty Watch” and the SSD “secures”. The “Duty Watch” performs their assigned duties for the 4 hours “Watch” – at sea – the working day is divided into watches of 4 hours each – starting midnight – with two dog watches of 2 hours each in the evening – in order to escape the monotony of standing the same watch every day].

At 10:30 AM – “Stand Easy” was “piped”.

[“Pipe” (or Boatswain’s Call) is a command issued by the Quartermaster over the ship’s broadcast system – it comprises a boatswain's “call” – a methodical wailing whistle peculiar for each “command” – followed the verbal “command” spoken clearly on the ship’s broadcast system. “Stand Easy” is a short break for the crew in the day’s work routine for a cup of tea and a smoke].

“Stand Easy” had been piped – and – we were enjoying a cup of tea with snacks in the Wardroom.

Suddenly – the Ship’s Main Broadcast System (SRE) crackled to life – and we were surprised to hear a rather funny announcement:

“Cigarette Band”  ( सिगरेट बंद )

We were wondering about this crazy announcement – when we heard the next announcement:

“Executive Officer requested Bridge – Captain’s Compliments…”

This was going to be fun – it seemed that the XO was going to get a “Bottle” from the Captain.

[The term “Bottle” is Naval Slang for reprimand].

So – I went up to the ship’s bridge to see the fun.

The furious Captain was shouting at the XO.

“What the hell is happening…? What is this bloody “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) nonsense…?” the Captain asked the XO.

“Sir – “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) is the Hindi translation for “Out Pipe”. The Quartermaster was piping “Out Pipe” after “Stand Easy”…” the XO said.

[Normally – “Stand Easy” time is from 10:30 AM to 10:45 AM in the morning and for 10 minutes in the afternoon from 3 PM to 3:10 PM.  After “Stand Easy” time is over – there is a Boatswain’s Call – “Out Pipe” – asking the sailors to get back to work after their “Tea and Smoke” break. The word “Pipe” in “Out Pipe” refers to Tobacco “Pipe”. In earlier days – most sailors smoked “Pipes” – Tobacco Pipes. It was thought that the nicotine in tobacco smoke boosted your mental clarity, gave you more energy and soothed your fatigue – so – sailors would be rejuvenated after “Stand Easy” break. On hearing the “Out Pipe” – sailors would extinguish their smoking tobacco pipes – and get back to work.  “Out Pipe” is also sounded after Breakfast, Lunch Break, or whenever men are required to come up from their messes to muster for work].

“Sir – “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) is the Hindi translation for “Out Pipe”. The Quartermaster was piping “Out Pipe” after “Stand Easy” time was over…” the XO explained to the Captain.

“But why the hell are we making such ridiculous “pipes” in Hindi on this ship…?” the Captain bellowed.

“Sir – there is a recent letter from Naval Headquarters (NHQ) to encourage use of Hindi in the Navy – and – they have forwarded a list of Hindi Equivalent Words for Navy Terminology…” the XO said, “and the Hindi experts in the Navy had translated “Out Pipe” as “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ).

(Literally translated – “Cigarette Band” means “Cigarette Shut/Close/Stop”)

“Pipes are not Cigarettes…” the Captain opined, “the correct Hindi name for “Pipe” is “Chillum” ( चिल्लम ) – or – “Hookah” ( हुक्का ). So – “Out Pipe” should be translated as “Chillum Band” ( चिल्लम बंद ) – or – “Hookah Band” ( हुक्का बंद ) – isn’t it…?”

“Yes, Sir…” the XO said.

“Send a letter to Naval Headquarters (NHQ) accordingly…” the Captain said.

“Aye Aye, Sir…” the XO said. 

(“Aye Aye” means “I understand and I will comply”)

“And one more thing – “Number One”…” the Captain said.

(Colloquially – on a ship – the Captain addresses his XO as “Number One” – with reference to the term “First Lieutenant” – as the Executive Officer was colloquially called in earlier Royal Navy Days). 

“Yes, Sir…?” the XO said.

“Stop these Hindi announcements. I don’t want sailors to get confused. Many sailors don’t understand Hindi that well. Tomorrow – they may ask me to give “Conning Orders” in Hindi – and there will be chaos. Remember – the Navy sails in international waters – so – in the Navy – we work in English. So – no more Hindi announcements on this ship…” the Captain said.

“Sir – the NHQ letter…” the XO stammered.

The Captain interrupted him and said sternly: “Till I am in Command of this ship – all “pipes” and “announcements” will be in English. Do you understand…?”

“Aye Aye, Sir…” the XO said.

So – “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) was “Band” ( बंद ). 

And – we were back to the proper traditional announcement – “Out Pipe”.

To be continued in Part 2...

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

“Daddy” – Last Post

Remembrance – Brigadier Pratap Dattatraya Joshi (6.3.1932 - 22.9.2008)

Tomorrow is the 22nd of September 2019 – the 11^th death anniversary of my late father-in-law Brigadier Pratap Dattatraya Joshi who we affectionately called “Daddy”. 

How time flies...!!! 

He passed away in the early hours of 22 September 2008.

Eleven years have passed since the inimitable Pratap Dattatraya Joshi left for his heavenly abode. 

Lest we forget him – on this day – his 11^th death anniversary – let me sound the “Last Post” once again.

As a token of my remembrance – here is the obituary “LAST POST” that I wrote for him when he left us for his heavenly abode on the 22nd of September 2008.

LAST POST

Obituary

Brigadier Pratap Dattatraya Joshi  (6.3.1932 - 22.9.2008)

In the early hours of the 22^nd of September 2008, Pratap Dattatraya Joshi, breathed his last, and departed for his heavenly abode, at the Deenanath Mangeshkar Hospital in Pune.

Pratap Joshi was an epitome of simple living and high thinking. 

Born on the 6^th of March 1932, he imbibed sterling values from his father, DP Joshi, a Teacher and Scout, a legend in his lifetime.

Brigadier PD Joshi was a product of the prestigious First Course of the National Defence Academy (NDA – or 1^st JSW – as he liked to call it – then located in Dehradun).

Brigadier PD Joshi was certainly not the archetypal pompous hard-drinking handlebar-moustachioed high-falutin “Colonel Blimp” type of Army Officer.

He was not an elitist snob, but a simple honest patriotic professional who believed in grassroot soldiering. 

He was a simple, down-to-earth, Spartan, unassuming, dedicated, sincere, patriotic, scrupulously honest, erudite person possessing a golden heart filled with humility and compassion. 

Throughout his distinguished career spanning 37 years, and even thereafter, he spread happiness, benevolence and goodwill owing to his cheerful disposition, kind-hearted nature and inimitable sense of humour.

Forever young at heart – Pratap Joshi did not suffer from the Auld Lang Syne Complex. 

After retirement – unlike most retired “faujis” – he never lived in the past, languishing and brooding about the “good old days” – but he moved on with exceptional enthusiasm and childlike zeal to his new loves – music and social work.

Starting from the scratch – he studied classical music with sheer dedication, resolute grit and passionate zest for many years till he was bestowed with the prestigious music post-graduate degree of Sangeet Alankar. 

Then he taught music to one and all, free of cost – making special efforts to teach the needy and underprivileged.

Travelling extensively – and roughing it out in the heart of the mofussil – to rural and far flung regions – he made a significant social contribution to enhancing primary education in backward areas, as the Chief Trustee of the Natu Foundation Educational Trust. 

He eagerly contributed his expertise to Jnana Prabodhini and for improving the efficiency of Hospitals.

Pratap Joshi loved animals, especially dogs. 

He always had pet dogs, and showered his unconditional love on them and all the dogs that he came across in the neighbourhood, pet and stray. 

It was distressing to see Dolly desperately searching for him soon after he had gone away from us forever. 

We shall always remember the love with which he snuggled and cuddled Sherry, our pet dog – a “Doberman-X” girl – when she was a baby.

(Sadly – Sherry also passed away to her heavenly abode in December 2014)

Pratap Joshi had a genuine zest for living – and he enjoyed every moment of his life – indulging himself in his favourite foods, movies, travel, music etc

If he liked to do something – he did it – anything he liked – without caring for what others would think.

He laughed – and he made others laugh.

I first met Pratap Joshi in March 1982 – and he left such a lasting impression on me that I became his fan ever since. 

He was my father-in-law – more like a loving father who I could count on to stand by me, advise and inspire me, in happiness and in adversity – and I shall forever cherish every moment I shared with him. 

My son, a seafarer, was his favourite grandchild, the apple of his eye. 

It was a pity he could not be with his beloved grandfather during his last moments in September 2008 – as he was sailing on the high seas.  

Such are the tragedies and travesties of life, and death.

We will miss you dearly “Daddy”. 

You lived your life to its fullest and loved all of us from the bottom of your heart. 

We are sure you will shower us with your blessings from your heavenly abode. 

You were a noble and virtuous man who always did good to everyone you met and wherever you went. 

Pratap Dattatraya Joshi  (6.3.1932 - 22.9.2008) – RIP.

May His Soul Rest in Peace.

VIKRAM KARVE

Obituary First Posted on 22 September 2008 in this Blog at url link: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2008/09/pratap-joshi-rip-remembrance.html

Have You Forgotten…?

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN…?

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

“Why have you brought me here…?” the man says.

“Do you remember this place…?” the man’s wife says.

“Of course I remember this place – we used to meet here…”

“Good. Let’s have a “Bun Maska and Chai” – for old times’ sake…”

“Here…?” 

“Why not…? You used to love this café – didn’t you…?”

“That was in those days…”

“And now…? You have become rich – and you have “status” in society. So – you find this place below your dignity…?”

“Okay. We’ll have a cup of tea here…”

They sit down.

The man sips his tea with distaste – he seems uncomfortable in this unpretentious café.

His wife is enjoying her “Bun Maska and Chai” – she dips the bun in her tea before putting it in her mouth.

The wife says to her husband:

“Do you remember…? Those days – you were so poor that this was the only place where you could afford to bring me on a “date”. Do you remember those days…?”

“I remember…” the man says, “but why are you talking about the past…? Why suddenly bring up unpleasant memories…? I have forgotten about those days…”

“Exactly…” the woman says, “you seem to have forgotten everything. So – I want to remind you of those days of struggle…”

“Let’s go…” the man says to his wife, “I don’t want to talk about those days…”

“No. I want to talk about those days…” the wife says, “Do you remember why my father was opposed to my marrying you…?”

“I was poor. You were rich. You were much better off than me…”

“And…?”

“You belonged to “high society” – the “elite” – the so-called “crème de la crème” of society. And – I was “riff-raff” – that’s what your father called me – “riff-raff” – he said that I was not worthy of your high “status”…”

“Is that all…?”

“Yes. Your father felt that I didn’t have enough money to meet your needs – and – there was a huge difference in our “status” – and – of course – I was “uncultured”. So – he opposed our marriage…”

“And my mother…?”

“She was against our marriage too. Of course – your mother was more polite – she told me: “the gulf between our backgrounds was too much and could not be bridged”…”  

“But I stood by you – against my father’s wishes – against my mother’s wishes. Both my parents were strongly opposed to my marrying you. But – I did not listen to my parents – and – I married you. Do you remember…? Or – have you forgotten…?”

“I have not forgotten anything. I remember. I remember everything. I am grateful to you for marrying me – okay…!!! Are you happy…? Now – let’s go…” the man says.

They walk towards their limousine.

“Girgaum…” the woman tells the driver, “take us to Girgaum…”

“What..?” her husband protests, “why are we going to Girgaum…? Let’s go home…”

“You promised me – do you remember…? You promised me that you will spend the evening with me – and – you will do as I wish…” the woman says.

“Okay – Okay…” her husband says.

At Girgaum – their limousine stops opposite Charni Road Railway Station – and they negotiate their way through the narrow lane which leads them to a decrepit old tenement building – a dilapidated old chawl which is almost crumbling.

“Do you recognize this place…? Or – have you forgotten…?” the woman asks her husband.

“Of course I remember this place…” her husband says, “my room was in this chawl…”

“After we eloped – we came straight over here – and we lived in your small room for the first few years of our marriage. Do you remember those difficult days of our life – when our relationship was severely tested…? At my father’s luxurious home – I had my own bedroom and attached bathroom – and here – there wasn’t even an attached toilet or bathroom – and I had to wait in the queue every morning for a bath in the common bathroom...” the woman says.

“I know. I know. But now – everything is fine. Let’s get out of here. This place stinks…” her husband says.

“I thought we’ll go and see our room – and visit the common toilet and bathroom – just for old times’ sake…” the woman says.

“Please stop it…” the man shouts at his wife – and – he starts walking away.

When they reach their car – the woman whispers to the driver – and they drive off.

When they reach their next destination – the man says: “Why have you brought me to the court…?”

“Do you remember what happened inside…? Or – have you forgotten…” the woman asks her husband.

“Your father had filed a case against me – for abduction – he said that I had kidnapped you…”

“And – I stood by you – I went against my father and supported you – I told them that I was an adult – I told them that I had eloped with you of my free will. I told them that I wanted to marry you. Do you remember…? Or – have you forgotten…?”

“I remember – I remember – I haven’t forgotten anything. But why are you torturing me by reminding me of those terrible days…?” the man says to his wife.

“Torture…? I though harking back to those days would evoke nostalgia in you…!” the woman says to her husband.

“Please stop. Enough is enough. I know. You sacrificed a lot for me. I will always remain grateful to you. But now – things are good – aren’t they…? We are doing so well in life – moneywise – status-wise – we are the “crème de la crème” of society now – aren’t we…?” the man says to his wife.

“Yes. We suffered difficult days for some years – those were testing times – but we endured them cheerfully because of our steadfast love for each other. And then – your fortunes changed – your business took off – and today – we are indeed the “crème de la crème” of society…” she says.

“I have had enough of “nostalgia”…” the man says, “Let’s go home…”

“No. We are going to the “Golf Club”…” his wife says.

“Golf Club…? You want to play golf now…? It’s already getting dark…” the man says to his wife.

“Let’s have dinner at the club…” the woman says.

“Okay…” her husband says.

When they arrive at the golf club – the wife says to her husband: “Come with me. I want you to meet someone…”

The woman walks towards the end of the parking lot – her husband follows her.

They see a young man standing there.

“Hello, Aunty – Good Evening, Sir…” the young man says.

“Hello…” the woman says to the young man.

Then – she turns towards her husband and says: “You know this young man – don’t you…?”

“Yes…” her husband murmurs, confused.

The woman looks at the young man and says to him: “Come home for dinner on Saturday. We’ll wait for you…”

And – before her husband can react – she pulls his arm and says to him: “Let’s go inside the clubhouse bar for a drink…”

They walk towards the clubhouse.

“What’s going on…?” the flabbergasted man asks his wife.

“Did you recognize the boy…” the woman asks her husband.

“Of course – he is a “caddie” – he carries my golf clubs…” the man says.

“He is also our daughter’s fiancé…” the woman says to her husband.

“What…? Our daughter wants to marry a bloody “caddie”…?” the man says, stunned.

“Yes…”

“Has she gone crazy...? I will never allow her to marry this good-for-nothing bugger…”

“He is not a “good-for-nothing” bugger – he is studying – and he does golf caddying in the evenings to support his studies…”

“I don’t care – I don’t want our daughter to marry this guy…”

“Why…? Because he is poor – like you were…? Because he doesn’t have so-called “status” – like you didn’t have…? Because he is “riff-raff” – like you were…?” the woman says to her husband.

“Please stop it…” her husband says angrily, “don’t try emotional blackmail…”

“Emotional Blackmail…?”

“Yes. First – you take me to all those painful places I want to forget. Then – you want me to allow our daughter to marry a bloody “caddie”…?”

“Our daughter is 20 years old…”

“So what…?”

“Our daughter loves this boy…”

“So what…? She cannot marry this guy…”

“Do you want our daughter to elope with this boy – like we did…?”

“Please. Please. Please. You talk to her and tell her to stop this nonsense. We will find an excellent match for her…” the man says to his wife.

“They are in love – like we were…” the woman says, “try to understand – think about those days when we were in love…”

“We are still in love – aren’t we…? I am still in love with you…” the man says to his wife.

“If you are in love with me – then listen to me…” the woman says, “give the young man a chance. I have called him for dinner on Saturday. Talk to him. Be nice to him. Maybe you will like him. He is good boy. Our daughter is in love with him. He loves our daughter immensely…”

The man remains silent.

The woman holds her husband’s hand tenderly and says to him:

“Let’s not make the same mistake as my parents did. Let’s not make things difficult for our daughter. Do you remember the trials and tribulations we suffered…? Do you remember those terrible days…? Or – have you forgotten…?”

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

  

“Feel Good” Refreshing Bath and Lingering Fragrance – Mysore Sandal Soap

A “Feel Good” Bath

REFRESHING BATHING and LINGERING FRAGRANCE

Mysore Sandal Soap

By

VIKRAM KARVE

I am feeling good. 

It is a terrible Summer in Pune. 

Today was a sultry hot day – blazing sun, terrible heat. 

Yet – I am feeling good. 

I am feeling good because I have just had a bath with Mysore Sandal Soap. 

I feel clean and refreshed. 

I smell very nice and pleasant – with the lingering spicy fragrance of Sandalwood. 

I clearly remember my first tryst with Mysore Sandal Soap. 

Way back in the 1960s – we used to travel twice a year – from the “upcountry” – to Pune – for our vacations. 

Those days – Air Travel was a luxury – and – everyone travelled by the Indian Railways. 

Those days – there were no direct trains from “upcountry” stations to Pune (then known as Poona) – and – we had to travel via Mumbai (then known as Bombay). 

So – we came down from the “upcountry” by famous trains – like the Frontier Mail, the Howrah Mail, the Calcutta Mail or the Punjab Mail – feeling all scruffy and weary – covered with coal dust.

In Mumbai – we got off Dadar in the morning – and went to my grand-aunt’s house in Hindu Colony nearby.

The old-style house had a huge spotlessly clean tiled bathroom – and – it was there that I first discovered “Mysore Sandal Soap”

It was a leisurely relaxed bathing experience – the soothing lather of “Mysore Sandal Soap” softening my skin.

And – I would emerge from my bath – fully refreshed – exuding the tantalizing yet subtle lingering fragrance of sandalwood.

Then – after a sumptuous breakfast – we would board a bus from Dadar TT – or catch a local train from Dadar Station to Mumbai CST (then known as Bombay VT) – spend the day loafing in South Mumbai – window shopping, browsing books, a movie and a meal – and then head to Mumbai CST Railway Station – to catch the Deccan Queen to Pune.

Since then – “Mysore Sandal Soap” is my all time favourite bathing soap – and – I truly enjoy the luxurious bathing experience every morning – and – in the evenings too. 

Being an “old timer” – I prefer the subtle lingering natural fragrance of sandalwood – rather than the overpowering synthetic scent of present day deodorants. 

I believe that it is better to maintain body cleanliness and personal hygiene – which prevents body odour – rather than try to mask your foul body odour by spraying your body copiously with strong smelling deodorants and perfumes. 

A nice soothing bath – skin feeling soft and nourished – feeling clean and refreshed – smelling natural – gently exuding the lingering gentle comforting fresh fragrance of sandalwood  – that is what makes me feel good – rather than the present day practice of profusely deodorizing one’s body – till one reeks of artificial overpowering standardized perfume all day. 

Mysore Sandal Soap celebrated its centenary (100 years) three years ago in 1916.

(Mysore Sandal Soap has been manufactured since 1916 when Krishna Raja Wadiyar IV, the King of Mysore, set up the Government Soap Factory in Bangalore) 

Here is a picture of the carton of Mysore Sandal Soap. 

I am sure you have tried out “Mysore Sandal Soap”.

No...? 

You haven’t used “Mysore Sandal Soap” yet...?

Then – you must have a bath with “Mysore Sandal Soap” soon. 

Do have a tantalizing bathing experience with “Mysore Sandal Soap” – especially on a hot summer day – and tell us how you liked it.

Morning and Evening – on a hot summer day – have a bath with “Mysore Sandal Soap” 

You will smell nice – you will feel clean – and – you will feel “good”.

You can take my word for it. 

Have a nice day...!!! 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is a revised repost of my article on MYSORE SANDAL SOAP written 15 years ago in 2004 and posted online by me earlier a number of times including at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2010/09/mysore-sandal-soap-lovely-bath.html  and  http://vikramwkarve.blogspot.in/2010/09/tantalizing-bath-and-lingering.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/02/refreshing-bath-and-lingering-fragrance.html  and  https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/04/a-feel-good-smell-good-bath.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/feel-good-bath-mysore-sandal-soap.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2018/03/mysore-sandal-soap-refreshing-feel-good.html etc