Monday, January 18, 2021

Dutch Courage

DUTCH COURAGE

Benefits of Drinking Alcohol By Vikram Karve

___________

The term “Dutch Courage” means the confidence you get after drinking alcohol.

Yes – Dutch Courage refers to “Courage” gained from intoxication with alcohol.

It is a well-known fact that consumption of alcohol reduces your inhibitions – so – drinking alcohol probably removes the “fears” and “apprehensions” in your mind – and – gives you “courage” to do things you would otherwise hesitate to do.

Hence – the expression “Dutch Courage” denotes strength or confidence gained from drinking alcohol – a sort of “false bravado” you feel and sometimes display when you are intoxicated and feeling “high”.

Why the prefix “Dutch”…?

It is believed that the term “Dutch Courage” was coined during the Anglo-Dutch Wars in the 17th century.

One version is that Jenever (or Dutch Gin) was used by English soldiers for its calming effects before battle – and – for its supposed warming properties on the body in cold weather.

Another version has it that English soldiers noted the bravery-inducing effects of Jenever (Dutch Gin) on Dutch soldiers.

So – the origin of the term was either because the English soldiers drank before a battle to fight the fear with Dutch Gin – or – because they saw the Dutch soldiers drink Jenever (Dutch Gin) and witnessed the bravery with which they fought after drinking it.

Since – in both cases – it was “Dutch” Gin which gave the “Courage” – hence – it was called “Dutch Courage”.

Over the years – the colloquial military term “Dutch Courage” referred to the “Courage” gained by drinking Alcohol – and – the Military and Naval custom of using alcoholic spirits to fortify resolve before a battle or a before tough task or evolution.

Hence the traditions of Rum Rations in the Military and Navy – and special issues of Rum to Soldiers before battle – and – “splice the mainbrace” orders on warships.

Even today – in many Military Forces – Alcoholic Liquor is issued at concessional rates to Military Personnel – probably with the aim of inducing and facilitating “Dutch Courage”.

Well – as far as my experience goes – in the Navy (and maybe in the other Military Forces too) – “Dutch Courage” is very useful – even in “peacetime soldiering” – since it helps maintain relationship balance between superior and subordinate – and – it is a “stress buster” too – since it facilitates venting out of your inner frustrations.

On one ship – I had a terrible sadistic boss – a cruel tyrant – who would berate and harangue me continuously.

After being bullied, scolded and harassed by my boss whole day – in the evening – after imbibing a generous amount of alcohol to build up “Dutch Courage” – I would give it back to my boss nice and proper – thereby venting out my frustrations – and – this would relieve my pent-up anger and stress.

(Anything you do when you are supposed to be “drunk” is taken less seriously than if you do the same thing when you are sober)

So – even if my boss complained – the next morning – I would say that “I don’t remember anything” – and get off the hook.

Sometimes – I would feign drunkenness when I wanted to “bullshit” someone senior to me.

The Captain once joked – that – in the daytime – it was I who was running away from my boss – and – at night – it was my boss who was running away from me.

My “Dutch Courage” had a salutary effect – my boss started avoiding me in the evenings – and also – he reduced his bullying, diatribes and harsh behaviour – especially with me.

Also – I managed to keep my mental health intact – unlike a predecessor of mine – who could not cope with the continuous bullying, diatribes and harassment – and – a time came when he could not take it any longer – so – he jumped ship (AWOL)

(I wonder if he was a non-drinker)

_________

EPILOGUE

The only unique perk you get in the military is concessional liquor – maybe – it is given with the aim of developing “Dutch Courage”.

Sometimes – when your courage fails you – it is “Dutch Courage” which will save the day – and maybe – help you win the “battle”.

There are many benefits of “Dutch Courage” – these are universal and apply to everyone.

“Dutch Courage” gives you the confidence do things you would otherwise hesitate to do – or be afraid of doing.

Also – as I told you – “Dutch Courage” helps you to vent out your pent-up emotions and release your stress.

“Dutch Courage” enables you to transcend emotional barriers in relationships.

“Dutch Courage” helps you speak the truth.

This concept can be used in the reverse manner by bosses to get genuine feedback – and to understand, and get an insight into, the true character of their subordinates, colleagues and friends.

(remember: “Your true character comes out when you are drunk”)

Dear Reader – do tell us some “Dutch Courage” stories you have experienced or seen in your life.

I have already written a few in my blogs and will tell you some more from time to time.

To summarize – alcohol dissolves inhibitions, fears and anxieties – and – one of the effects of drinking alcohol is “Dutch Courage”.

“Dutch Courage” is a “benefit” of drinking alcohol.

How you use this “Dutch Courage” to your advantage – well – that’s your choice.

_________

VIKRAM KARVE 
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

Saturday, January 16, 2021

No Expectations – No Disappointments

NO EXPECTATIONS NO DISAPPOINTMENTS

Musings by Vikram Karve

_________

Are you a result oriented person?

Yes?

Are you obsessed with the “return” you get on your “investments”?

If your answer is yes, then why don’t you try to adopt a philosophical approach to life. 

Here is a saying from Lao-tzu from Tao Te Ching:

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.
Care about other people's approval and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.
--Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching, ch. 9

Yes, that is the key - Do your work, then step back.

Or better still, let Chapter 2 Verse 47 of The Bhagavad Gita be your guide:

karmany evadhikarass te maphalesu kadachana ma karma-phala-hetur bur ma te sango stv akarmani 

(Seek to perform your duty; but lay not claim to its fruits. You have a right to perform your prescribed action, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results your activities, but neither should you avoid doing your duty).

So that’s the moral of the story: Always do your best without expecting results and you will be happy.

In today’s materialistic world, when you invest your money you expect a return on your investment (ROI). 

Some persons apply this ROI theory to other domains of their lives as well. 

For example, they feel that if they invest in a relationship, especially marriage, they must get returns (ROI). 

As far as any relationship is concerned, especially marriage, it is best to adopt the following philosophy: No Expectations, No Disappointments, Happy Marriage

Apply this philosophy in your career, work life too - Do your job to the best of your ability and then step back and forget about results, rewards etc. - have no expectation, expect no “return” and you will not be disappointed.

So, Dear Reader, forget about Quid Pro Quo

Just do what you want to do and step back. 

Do not expect anything in return. 

Just do something for the sake of doing that something – do it because you want to do it, you enjoy doing it, and forget about the results. 

Remember, if you have no expectations you will have no disappointments.
____________

VIKRAM KARVE 
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

Thursday, January 14, 2021

A Curious Story

A CURIOUS STORY

Short Fiction By VIKRAM KARVE

_______

PROLOGUE

_______

This is an odd story – a rather curious story.

I don’t know whether the story is worth telling – or worth reading.

But – I have decided to write the story.

There are two reasons why I have decided to write this story.

The first reason is that I have not understood this story.

So – I thought I should write it down.

When I was in school and college – whenever I didn’t understand anything from a textbook – I would write it down in my notebook – and – this act of writing it down helped me understand it.

Hence – I have decided to write this story – in the hope that when I have written it down – I may get a clearer view of it.

Or maybe – an enlightened reader – conversant human psychology – may tell us why the protagonist acted in the way she did.

The second reason why I am telling you this story is to alleviate the “agony” of bearing this untold story inside me.

The famous American Poet Maya Angelou once said: “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”.

This story too was born many years ago – when I observed something – and it aroused feelings in me.

Most stories are born from “observation” and “feeling” – at least for me.

If I observe something – and – I feel about it – a story is born in my mind.

You observe so many things – but you write only about those things that stir your “feelings” – your emotions.

I observed something many years ago – it stirred feelings in me – and this story was born in my mind – and – it was perambulating inside me – till today – untold – and – I was quite hesitant to tell this story – but now – I must tell you this story – and mitigate the “agony” of carrying the burden of untold stories.

_______

This story happened many years ago in the 1970’s…

_______

PART 1

Everyone advised Smita to divorce her alcoholic husband.

But – Smita did not divorce him.

Alcoholism is a mystery.

It’s probably got something to do with genetics – genetic predisposition.

All of us used to drink – but – only Smita’s husband Avinash became an alcoholic.

We were all school classmates.

After school – I joined the merchant navy as a deck cadet – but everyone else joined the same college.

They would meet every day – and – I would meet them every evening in our favourite café – whenever I would come ashore on leave from sea.

Then – after college – everyone got a job – and – I had meanwhile become a second officer on a tanker.

They continued to meet every evening after work in the same café – and – I continued to meet them whenever I came to Pune on leave from sea.

Once – when I came home on leave – they told me that Smita and Avinash had decided to get married.

Curiously – Smita and Avinash were not present for the customary evening friends’ get-together.

It happens – in a group of friends – when two decide to get married – they start disengaging themselves from the group – or at least – they reduce the extent of interaction.

So – though Smita and Avinash did not disengage from our group totally – their presence became less frequent – say – once a week or so – and once they got married – their presence at our favourite café became even less frequent – but – they did call us home for dinner once in a while – especially when I came to Pune on leave from sea.

As I said – alcoholism is a mystery – and though we noticed that Avinash was drinking more than usual – we never imagined that he would become an alcoholic.

People give all sorts of theories about alcoholism – about why people become alcoholics.

Some say – people take solace in alcohol due to setbacks in life, due to personal tragedies, or due to problems at work or in personal relationships.

That is not true.

Many people have huge problems, suffer great tragedies – but they don’t become alcoholics.

On the contrary – some people who have everything in life – they become alcoholics.

Take the case of Avinash.

Avinash had everything going for him – successful career, loving wife, a house in the most posh locality of Pune, plenty of money, all the material comforts that one can want – but still – Avinash became an alcoholic.

Yes – he didn’t have children.

But – that is no reason to drown yourself in alcohol and become an alcoholic.

Do all people who don’t have children become alcoholics…?

There is no reason or logic for alcoholism.

Like I said earlier – maybe it is genetic.

Or – maybe – it is destiny.

Avinash was destined to become an alcoholic.

Sadly – you cannot predict destiny – otherwise – had Smita known that Avinash would become an alcoholic – maybe – she wouldn’t have married him – and married me instead.

Anyway – Avinash was destined to become an alcoholic – and he had become an alcoholic – and – Smita was destined to become the wife of an alcoholic.

Can’t destiny be changed…?

Couldn’t Avinash cure himself of his alcoholism – and change his destiny…?

If that didn’t happen – surely – Smita could leave him and change her destiny.

But – she wouldn’t do that – and she continued to suffer – as her husband Avinash sunk deeper and deeper into the abyss of alcoholism every passing day.

Yes – everyone advised Smita to divorce her alcoholic husband Avinash – but – Smita would not divorce him.

“You have a good job – you are financially independent – why are you suffering – you should leave him…” we said.

“No…” Smita said, “I can’t leave him…”

And so – despite our advice – Smita refused to divorce her husband.

__________

PART 2

As I told you – those days – I was sailing – in the merchant navy – and – I would come home on leave after a few months at sea – and – every time – I would hear that Avinash’s alcoholism was becoming worse and worse.

He had lost his job because of his alcoholism – and now – he was surviving on Smita’s money.

Smita tried everything – all cures – counselling – rehab – medical and psychiatric treatments – but nothing worked – and it seemed that Avinash would finally die because of alcoholism.

After 20 years at sea – I was offered the job of superintendent at our shipping company’s headquarters in Norway – and – I decided to give it a try. I could always return to sea if I didn’t like the shore job.

This time – I was going to be away for a long time – at least one year – maybe two – so – my friends decided to give me a farewell party.

Smita came alone. She had come straight from office. She looked terrible – haggard – as if she had recovered from an illness – all her beauty faded away.

“I dread going home…” Smita said, “Avinash has started drinking country liquor. He goes to the country liquor shop and drinks with all sorts of unsavoury drunkards. Sometimes – when I reach home – he is lying drunk outside the door – dumped there by someone…”

“You must do something – send him to rehab – to a deaddiction centre…” I said.

“I have tried everything…” she said, “nothing worked – now – I have resigned to fate…”

“Then – you must leave him – divorce Avinash – start a new life…” I said to Smita.

“Start a new life…? What do you mean…? Do you want me to divorce Avinash and marry you…?” she said angrily.

I was taken aback by her words.

“I am sorry if I hurt you – I didn’t mean that…” I mumbled.

“Then what did you mean…? I know you wanted to marry me. I know that you were disappointed that I chose to marry Avinash instead of you…” she said.

“Please Smita – don’t say such things…” I said.

“Ha. Ha. – “Don’t say such things” – …” she repeated my words and mocked me – and then – Smita said sarcastically to me: “So you are pleased aren’t you…? You must be so happy to see me suffering. I may have made the “wrong choice” – marrying Avinash instead of you – but – I don’t regret it. And – I am not going to divorce him – I will stay with him and “suffer” – you enjoy your life and don’t worry about me…”

Her vicious and sarcastic suggestion – that I might be happy at her misfortune – it hurt me more than anything else.

I didn’t say anything.

“Goodbye…” she said, “all the best in your new job…”

And then – she walked away and went home to her drunkard husband Avinash.

A few days later – I flew to Norway to take my new job.

_______

PART 3

When everyone had given up hope – a miracle happened – Avinash was cured of his alcoholism.

A de-addiction treatment had finally worked – and – Avinash was cured of his alcohol addiction.

My friends wrote to me that Avinash had given up alcohol and become totally sober – and – he had got a good job in Singapore – and – Smita and Avinash had relocated there.

(Dear Reader – remember – this story happened many years ago – before the advent of the internet – and writing letters was the common mode of communication – as – even international calls were very expensive – and unreliable too…)

When I went home on leave after two years – my friends told me that they were not in touch with Avinash and Smita – who probably wanted to move on – cut-off from old friends – and be aloof – and lead their new lives forgetting the past.

While flying back to Norway – I was in transit at Paris Airport – when I suddenly ran into Smita.

I don’t know who was more surprised – she or me.

“Oh – it is so good to see you after so many years – what a delightful surprise – what are you doing here…?” Smita said.

“I am on my way back to Norway. Mumbai – Paris and Paris – Oslo…” I said, “and you…?”

“I am on a Europe Tour – finished Europe – flying to Istanbul – a bit of touring there – and back home to Singapore…” she said, “I am with a group…”

I looked at her – she looked good – and happy – much better than when I had seen her last.

The joy and relief of her husband Avinash’s recovery from alcoholism was visible on her face.

“Where is Avinash…?” I asked her.

“He is not here…” she said.

“Oh. He didn’t come on the tour…?” I asked her.

“No…” she said.

“I heard he is absolutely okay now…” I said.

“Yes…” she said.

“That’s great…” I said, “so you are the perfect “made-for-each-other” couple now – like when you got married…”

“Well – we are not a couple any more…” she said, “I divorced him…”

“What…? You divorced Avinash…?” I asked Smita, stunned.

“Yes…” she said, “I divorced him…”

It was unbelievable.

When her husband was an alcoholic – a terrible obnoxious man – she looked after him.

When he was cured of his alcoholism – when he turned a new leaf – and – he became a good man – she divorced him.

“But why did you divorce Avinash…?” I said, “you said that he absolutely okay – that he was totally cured of his alcoholism – didn’t you…?”

“Yes…” she said, “he is absolutely okay – in fact – he is doing very well…”

“Then why did you divorce him…” I asked her.

“He doesn’t need me any longer…” she said.

“What…?” I said, confused.

Smita looked at me – and she said: “Earlier – he needed me to take care of him. Now – he can take care of himself – he doesn’t need me anymore…”

I remained silent.

“It’s time for my flight…” Smita said, “Good Bye – have a safe journey…”

And then – Smita walked away towards the departure lounge.

_________


VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 
2. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Sapiosexual Romance

PRETTY GIRL and HANDSOME HUNK 

Sapiosexual Romance 

A Love Story By VIKRAM KARVE


“She hasn’t come…?” the “pretty girl” asks the “handsome hunk”.

“No. She hasn’t turned up. I had specially invited her – I personally spoke to her and I asked her to come…” the “handsome hunk” says.

“And – she ditched you…?”

“I have been wooing her for the last few months – but – she always gives me the “cold shoulder” – she just ignores me…”

“Maybe – she is not interested in you…”

“Of course she is interested in me. Tell me – which girl is not interested in me…? Aren’t you interested in me…?”

“Well yes – I am interested in you – most girls may be interested in you – but – she may be an exception – she may not be interested in you…”

“I think that she is just playing “hard to get”…”

“Oh – so it is your ego that is hurt…?”

“I genuinely love her – I am really attracted to her – I have asked her out on a date so many times – but – she always refused me – I thought that maybe she didn’t want to come out with me alone – so – I organized this class picnic – and – I personally invited her – but – she hasn’t come…”

“Are you saying that you organized this picnic just for her…?”

“Yes – I thought that she would come if I said it was a “class-picnic” – so – I invited everyone in the class – and – everyone has come – except her…”

“Bookworm hasn’t come…”

“I am least interested in why “Bookworm” hasn’t come – to hell with him – I am feeling upset that “She” hasn’t come…”

 “Why don’t you just forget her…? You are rich and handsome – with such awesome looks and magnificent physique – you look so sexually attractive – so virile  you are a true hunk – the most “eligible” bachelor around. There are so many girls who desire you – in fact – any girl in our class will “die” for you…”

“Except her…”

“You can keep trying – but – you will never get her…” a new feminine voice says.

“What do you mean…?”

“You need to do some “research” – have you seen her profile…?”

“Yes. I have seen her Facebook profile… ”

“Have a look at her Twitter profile…”

“Why…?”

“She seems to be a kinky type – she has written a funny word to describe herself – “sapphosexual”…”

“What – “sapphosexual” – don’t tell me that she is a lesbian or something….!!!”

“No, No – she’s not into girls….” another feminine voice says.

“How do you know…?”

“I know – but – don’t ask me how I know…”

“Hey – let’s see her Twitter profile…” the “pretty girl” says.

The “handsome hunk” takes out his smartphone.

“Ah – the word is not “sapphosexual” – it is “sapiosexual” – she has written in her bio that she is “sapiosexual”...

Sapiosexual…? What does it mean…?”

“I don’t know…”

“Just “Google” it…”

“Ah – “sapiosexual” – it means “a person who is attracted to intelligence”…”

“No wonder she is dating “Bookworm”…” a male voice says.

“She is dating “Bookworm”…?”

“Yes…”

“Who…? The same girl…? She is so gorgeous and sexy. How can she date “Bookworm” – that nerdy geek…?”

“Well – “Bookworm” may be a “Nerdy Geek. But  Yes – it is true  my dear handsome hunk – the object of your desire – the girl you are so desperately pursuing – I have seen her with “Bookworm” so many times – hanging out in the library – browsing in bookstores – Ha Ha – she really seems to be true “sapiosexual” – just like she mentioned in her profile…”

The “pretty girl” looks at the “handsome hunk” – and – she says to him:

“I think you should forget about her. Yes – you should forget about the “sapiosexual” girl. You may be a rich and handsome hunk. But – tell me  “intelligence-wise” – do you think you will be able to match “Bookworm” intellectually…?” 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 
2. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.