PHUBBING
(Phone
+ Snubbing)
Musings
By
VIKRAM KARVE
First
– let me tell you a story from my Navy Days.
This
story around 40 years ago – in the end 1970’s – much before the advent of
Mobile Phones.
Yes –
those days – the only phones available were “Landline” Phones.
I was
busy working in my office.
As
was my habit – whenever I was doing something important – I had kept the phone
off the hook.
My
deputy knocked and entered my office.
I
gave him an angry look.
He
looked at me apologetically – and said to me:
“Sir
– I am sorry. You told us not to disturb you – but – Boss has gone crazy…”
“So –
what’s new in that…? The bugger is “crazy”…” I said.
“Sir
– he wants you in his office immediately. He was trying to call you for the
last 10 minutes – and your phone is dead…” my deputy said.
“My
phone is not “dead” – I have deliberately kept it off the hook because I don’t
want to be disturbed…” I said.
“Sir
– the Boss said to tell you that he wants to see you in his office
immediately…” my deputy said.
“Okay
– Okay – you sit down…” I motioned to my deputy.
I put
the phone on the hook – picked it up again – and – checked the dial tone.
Then –
I dialled my Boss’s number.
“Come
to my office immediately…” my Boss barked at me via the phone.
“Sir,
I am very busy right now. Can I come later – in the afternoon – after lunch…?”
I asked him.
“No.
You come right now. I want to discuss “XXX” project – I need some
clarifications…” my Boss shouted – and he banged down the phone.
At
first – I thought that I would first complete the work I was doing.
And
then – after finishing the urgent work in hand – I would go to my Boss’s
Office.
That
was the sensible thing to do.
But
then – my Boss was a most rank-conscious authoritarian megalomaniac.
Though
I wasn’t a “Yes Sir, Yes Sir, Three Bags
Full Sir” type of Officer – the Navy is a military service – and – there is
a limit to which one can reason with a Senior Officer – especially if he was
like my conceited egotistical autocratic Boss.
So –
I stopped whatever I was doing – and – I took out the Project “XXX” file from
my drawer.
Then
– I put on my cap – and – I started walking down to the Main Building of the
Dockyard – where my Boss’s Office was located.
It
was a hot and humid day in Mumbai – the main building was around 500 meters
away from my workplace – and – by the time I reached my Boss’s Office – I was
sweating profusely.
I
entered my Boss’s Office.
My
Boss was sitting at his desk – leaning back on his chair – talking on the
phone.
I
saluted him.
My
boss ignored me.
Maybe
he was so engrossed in the telephonic conversation – that he probably hadn’t
noticed my salute.
I
stood in front of him for around one minute.
I
thought that he would terminate his telephonic conversation – and speak to me –
at least ask me to sit down.
But –
no such luck.
He
was very much absorbed in the telephonic conversation.
I
could overhear that he was speaking about shares and the stock market.
Suddenly
– he leaned forward – picked up a pencil – and – he made some notes on a pad in
front of him on the desk.
I
felt humiliated.
My
Boss was treating me as if I did not exist.
I
turned around – and I walked out of his office.
My
Boss’s pretty PA asked me: “Sir – you’ve finished so fast…?”
“He
is so busy talking on the phone that he doesn’t seem to have time for me…” I
said.
“Yes,
Sir – his “Broker” just called – the stock market is going crazy since morning
– so – he must be discussing about which stocks and shares to trade in…” she
said.
“Oh…”
I said – and – I started walking away.
“Sir,
please wait – he has been asking for you since morning…” my Boss’s PA said.
On
hearing this – I said to my Boss’s PA:
“I was busy with some important work. Despite
this – I came walking all the way in the hot sun because he insisted. And now –
he just ignores me – and – he keeps talking on the phone…? This is not
acceptable to me – so – I am going back to my office…”
I
walked back to my office.
I
took the phone off the hook – told my staff that I was not to be disturbed –
and – I got on with the unfinished task of completing the urgent work.
One
hour later – my Boss stormed into my office.
He
started shouting at me:
“What’s wrong with you…? You did you walk
away rudely from my office…?”
I
said softly but firmly:
“Sir – I am an Officer. Since you insisted –
I walked all the way to your office. You had called me – I was standing in
front of you – but – you ignored me – and you gave more importance to person on
the phone…”
My
Boss yelled at me:
“Stop bullshitting me. I will march you up
to the Admiral…”
I
picked up my cap and said:
“Okay, Sir – let’s go – I am going to ask
the Admiral what was the right thing for you to do – talk to your Officer who
is standing in front of you – or – talk to your “Stock Broker” on the phone…?”
My
Boss did not march me up to the Admiral.
He
just uttered a few threats and walked away.
In
the afternoon – I called up my Boss’s PA – took a proper appointment – walked down
to his office – and I explained details of Project “XXX” – for which he had
summoned me in the morning.
His
phone was quiet for the 15 minutes I was with him.
On my
way out – I commented on this to his PA – who told me that the Boss had
instructed her to see that he was not disturbed by phone calls when I was
inside.
Dear Reader:
Do you believe that this is a true story…?
Could I have really bullshitted my Boss…?
Am I one of those crazy mavericks…?
Maybe my course-mates and erstwhile colleagues
can give you the answers.
Meanwhile – let’s just say that this is a “Fiction
Short Story”.
It
does not matter whether the above story is true or not.
What
matters is the moral of the story:
It is
always rude to pay more attention to a phone than a person standing in front of
you in flesh and blood.
First
– talk to the person who is physically with you – then – talk to the person on
the phone.
This “moral
of the story” is even more applicable after the advent of mobile phones – and especially
today – in the context of smartphones.
I try
to practice what I preach (and preach what I practice) – though I do slip up
sometimes – but – at least – I try my best.
Sometime
ago – a blogger wanted to meet me in person to discuss blogging.
We
were sitting in a Café and talking.
My
mobile phone rang.
I
ignored the phone.
The
Blogger said:
“Your mobile is ringing…”
I
said:
“I know. Let it ring. I am talking to you…”
The
Blogger said:
“It may be something important…”
I
said:
“Right now – you are the most important
thing for me. I will see the missed call later – and – if I feel it is
necessary – I will call the person. In any case – I don’t work for an emergency
services agency where I have to attend every call and act instantly…”
In
order to make the Blogger feel comfortable – I switched off my mobile phone –
and I asked her to switch off her mobile too – reminding her that it was she
who had wanted to meet me.
It
was easy during the mobile cellphone days – but with ever since I got a
smartphone – and – I became a “Photo Food Blogger” – things have become
difficult.
So –
now – whenever we go out for food – I first announce that I am going to focus
my attention on clicking pictures of the food.
Then –
I click my foodie pictures and upload them on social media immediately.
After
that – I keep my smartphone away and give my full attention to my friends, and,
of course, to the food.
Dear
Reader – to summarize “Mobile Etiquette” in a nutshell:
It is
always rude to pay more attention to a phone than a person with you in flesh
and blood.
If
you give priority to your phone and ignore the person in front of you – it is
called “Phubbing” (Phone + Snubbing).
Don’t
indulge in “Phubbing”.
We do
“phubbing” unconsciously – don’t we…?
Suppose
you are talking to someone – and your mobile phone rings – don’t you
instinctively pick up your mobile…?
And –
don’t you tend to give more importance to the person talking on mobile rather
than the person physically with you…?
Dear Reader
– you may ask me:
“In
case your phone rings while you are talking to a person – is it okay to “excuse”
yourself and then talk on the smartphone...?”
No –
unless you are on duty and are required to attend to emergency/urgent
situations as a part of your work.
Remember
– you can always see the missed call numbers and call after you have finished
talking to the person in front of you.
While
you are talking to someone – it is not acceptable to answer phone-calls, do
texting, tweeting or engage on social media, or even repeatedly glance at your
smartphone screen – yes – all these things are not acceptable.
In case
you are expecting calls – isn’t it better to tell the person who is with you that
you will be busy attending calls and you can talk to the person later when you
are free…?
Or –
if you are awaiting an important call when meeting someone socially – isn’t it
best to explain at the outset that you will have to take the call – and –
apologize in advance – and if the call comes – excuse yourself and take the
call privately…?
Dear Reader:
What are your views on “Phubbing”…?
Do comment and tell us.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
