Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Inappropriate Love

INAPPROPRIATE LOVE
Fiction Short Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

Place: A Corporate Office in Mumbai

Dramatis Personae:

A Man
A Woman (His Ex-Wife)
Their Daughter (Pooja)
A Lady Office Colleague of the Man (Mala)

Inappropriate Love – A Story by Vikram Karve

The moment the man sees the woman – he shouts at her:

“What are you doing here…?”

“I came to see you…” the woman says.

“Why have you come to see me…? I told you very clearly that I don’t want to see your face for the rest of my life…”

“Even I don’t want to see your face – but – I desperately need your help…”

“Help…? You need my help…? What help…?”

“You will have to look after our daughter…”

“What…? You want me to look after Pooja…?”

“Yes. You will have to take care of our daughter Pooja from now on. I want her to live with you…”

“You want Pooja to live with me…?”

“Yes…”

“I just don’t understand. I still remember how viciously you fought the custody battle for Pooja – you called me a “dangerous” man – you said that our daughter’s life would be in danger if she lived with me – because I was a “violent brute” – and now – you want to leave our daughter with me…?”

“I made a mistake…”

“Your lawyer – he threatened me – that if I didn’t give up custody of our daughter – you would even file “domestic violence” and “dowry harassment” cases against me – and you would get me arrested…”

“I am sorry – he told me to do it…”

“You made all sorts of false allegations against me. You told them that I regularly beat up Pooja – you told them that Pooja won’t be safe with me…”

“Please…”

“By peddling all sorts of lies – you managed to win custody of our daughter – and worse – you even managed to curtail my visiting rights by projecting me as an “evil influence” …”

“I told you – what I did was very wrong – I am sorry…”

“And now – you want to hand over our daughter Pooja to me...?”

“Yes…”

“But why…? Why do you want Pooja to live with me…?”

“She is not safe in our house…”

“Pooja is not “safe” at your place…? What do you mean…?”

“My husband…”

“What about him…?”

“I suspect that he indulges in “inappropriate behaviour” with her…”

Inappropriate Behaviour…? What do you mean by “inappropriate behaviour”…?” 

“You know what I mean. Please don’t ask me anything…”

“No. You will have to tell me exactly what “inappropriate behaviour” your husband is doing to Pooja. Is he…?”

“Please. Please. Please. I don’t want to speak on this disgusting topic – otherwise I will break down. You please take Pooja with you. I beg you…”

“Bloody Pervert – Let’s go right now and report him to the police…”

“No. No. Please…”

“What do you mean “NO” – the filthy bugger is sexually abusing our daughter – he must be arrested and taught a lesson he won’t forget…”  

“I don’t have any proof…”

“What do you mean that you don’t have any proof…? You just said that he indulges in “inappropriate behaviour”…”

“I have not actually seen him…”

“You have never seen him doing anything wrong – like touching her inappropriately…?”

“No…”

“Then – how can you…?”

“I can see it in his eyes…”

“What…?”

“The way he looks at her – I can see the lechery in his eyes…”

“So – you just suspect that he has evil intentions…?”

“I know…”

“You know…? Did Pooja say anything…?”

“No – she is too small to understand these things…”

“So – are you just imagining all these things…?”

“No – my “motherly instinct” tells me that something is wrong…”

“Motherly instinct…? I really don’t know whether to believe you or not. Knowing your devious nature – I wonder whether you have some ulterior motive…”

“No. No. Please believe me. He is a filthy pervert. Our daughter Pooja is unsafe with him…”

“Well – when I saw him last – he certainly didn’t look like an obscene pervert – in fact – he looked like a suave gentleman – so refined and soft-spoken…”

“Yes – he looks like a polite gentleman – but – that’s from the outside – for the sake of society. From the inside – behind closed doors – he is a depraved disgusting sadist…” the woman says, and she breaks into tears.

“Did he do anything to you…?” the man asks the woman.

“I don’t want to talk about it. You just take our daughter Pooja away from him…”

“But how can you continue living with such a sadistic pervert…? Why don’t you leave him…?”

“How many husbands can I leave…? My first husband turned out to be an alcoholic – I left him. Then – my second husband – you – you were a “wife-beater”…”

“How dare you call me a “wife-beater”…? I beat you only once – and – you deserved it…”

“What do you mean “I deserved it”…?”

“You committed adultery – you betrayed my trust – you were unfaithful, disloyal – you were cheating on me – and I caught you red-handed in bed with that filthy swine – who is now your husband…”

“You thrashed us badly – violence is not justified…”

“What did you expect me to do in the situation…? I cannot tolerate betrayal of trust – and – you betrayed my trust…”

“Even if I was wrong – you shouldn’t have beaten me so badly…”

“I lost control of myself…” the man says.

The man pauses for a moment – he looks at the woman – and he says to her:

“Tell me one thing. How do you know that I won’t lose control of myself again…? That is why I am asking you again. At the custody hearing – you kept on saying that I am a “violent brute”. If that is so – why do you want to leave Pooja with me…?”

“Pooja will be safe with you. I know that you love her – you will care for her well – you will never harm her…”

“I don’t know about that. But – I can’t trust you. You have a devious and vindictive nature. My inner voice tells me that you have some ulterior motive…”

“Please – I beg you…”

“Tomorrow – you may say that I have kidnapped Pooja – and you will get me arrested…”

“Please – I promise you…”

“Ha Ha – a “promise” – and from a cheat like you…?”

“I will give you whatever you want in writing – I will sign any paper you want…”

“Okay – we’ll see – but – before that – tell me how did you know I would be here today…?”

“I know that you come to the Mumbai Head Office every month…”

“But – how did you know that I will be here today…? Have you got a spy in my office…? Who told you…?”

“I promised her that I will not tell you…”

“Mala…?”

“Yes. Mala told me. In fact – our daughter Pooja is sitting in her office…”

“What…? You have brought Pooja here…?”

“Yes – along with her bags…”

“You packed her bags and brought her here…?”

“You take Pooja with you to Delhi in the evening…”

“Are you crazy…?”

“Mala said that she will manage the air ticket on the same flight…”

“I am not talking about the air ticket. What have you told Pooja…? I doubt she even knows that I am her father. She was so small when you took her away.”

“I have told her about you…”

“You told Pooja that I am her father…?”

“No. I told her that you were an “Uncle” – I have shown her your picture – I have told her you are taking her on a holiday for a few days because I have to go abroad for a few days on work…”

“She doesn’t even know me. She won’t come with me…”

“She will come with you. In fact – she is quite excited about the flight journey and all the things you are going to show her in Delhi…”

“You are a wily scheming woman – aren’t you…? And – what about your husband – that filthy lecherous pervert…?”

“He is away on tour…”

“Have you told him that you are sending Pooja with me…?”

“No…”

“He knows you have custody. He may create trouble later…”

“He cannot do anything. She is my daughter – not his…”

“I am not very comfortable with all this…”

“I told you – I will sign whatever document you want – on “stamp paper” – anything you say…”

“I will talk to Mala – she is the legal…”

“I have already told Mala – she is preparing the papers for us to sign – she said she will get all the formalities done…”

“What…? Mala never told me all this…”

“Please. Don’t say anything to her. She is just trying to help…”

“I am really angry with Mala. She has no business to interfere in my personal life…”

“She is just trying to help. Please try to understand…”

“I still feel that you should leave your husband and live separately with Pooja. If you are short of money – I will try and help you out…”

“I can’t leave him…”

“Why can’t you leave him…? You divorced twice – do it once more. With your “talent” – I am sure you will easily find one more husband. Of course – with your luck – he may turn out to be even worse your previous husbands…”

“Please don’t be cruel…”

“You will have to tell me why you can’t leave this bloody filthy pervert…”

“I love him…”

“What…? You love him – that depraved sadist – the sick paedophile…”

“I can’t leave him. I don’t want to talk about him. You please take Pooja with you. Please – Pooja is your daughter – do you want something terrible to happen to her…? I beg you – please take Pooja with you…” the woman says – and she breaks down totally and collapses into the chair.

“You go and sit in Mala’s office. You are a cunning woman. I am still not sure of your motives. Let me think the whole thing over…” the man says.

The woman composes herself – and she says to the man:

“Please don’t take out your anger on Mala…”

“I need some time to think. You please go and sit in Mala’s office. I will come there and tell you my decision…”

The woman leaves.

The man sits in a chair – he closes his eyes – and thinks about the whole thing.

15 minutes later – his decision made – he picks up the intercom and calls Mala.

Mala picks up the intercom at the other end – and she says:

“Hello…”

The man says to Mala:

“Mala – please tell her to take Pooja and go away – I cannot look after Pooja…”

“You wife has already gone away…”

“She is not my wife…”

“Sorry. I mean your “ex-wife” – she has already gone away…”

“That’s good…”

“But – your daughter Pooja is here in my office…”

“What…?”

“Yes, Sir – your “ex-wife” – she left Pooja here with me – and she went away. She told me that you were taking her to Delhi with you. I have already booked Pooja’s ticket on your flight….”

“Who told you to do that…? I am not taking that girl with me…”

“Sir – your daughter is so cute – she is such a darling – I am bringing her to you – you will love her so much – I am sure you will take her with you…”

Three hours later – the small girl called Pooja – full of innocence – she sits with her father in the car – and they travel to the airport to catch the flight to Delhi. 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Aadhaar and Bank Account

AADHAAR and BANK ACCOUNT

Aadhaar Seeding/Linking with Bank Account

If Bank Account is Seeded/Linked to Aadhaar - it facilitates credit of various Govt. sponsored subsidy/benefit schemes such as DBT, MGNREGA directly in Bank accounts through Aadhaar Payment Bridge System (APBS).

Aadhaar Updation in Bank Account

If Aadhaar is updated in Bank Account -  Aadhaar Number is updated only in Bank records and cannot be used for receiving credits of Govt. sponsored subsidy/benefit schemes.

Moral of the Story

You should Seed/Link Aadhaar to only One Bank Account where you want to receive Govt Subsidy/Benefit/Pension etc.

However - You may Update Aadhaar in all your Bank Accounts

(Above based on information recieved from my Bank)

Difference Between Aadhaar Seeding Linking and Updation

Please click link below and read in my blog

https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/08/23/aadhaar-and-bank-accounts-seeding-linking-updation-which-one-should-you-do/amp/

Sunday, August 20, 2017

No Expectations – No Disappointments

NO EXPECTATIONS – NO DISAPPOINTMENTS
Philosophical Ruminations of a Veteran
By
VIKRAM KARVE

Are you a result oriented person...?

Yes...?

Are you obsessed with the “return” you get on your “investments”...?

Yes...?

Then why don’t you try to adopt a philosophical approach to life. 

Here is a saying from Lao-tzu from Tao Te Ching:

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.

Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.

Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.

Care about other people's approval and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.

The only path to serenity.

~ Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching, ch. 9

Yes  that is the key: 

Do your work  then step back

Or better still  let Chapter 2 Verse 47 of The Bhagavad Gita be your guide:

karmany evadhikarass te maphalesu kadachana ma karma-phala-hetur bur ma te sango stv akarmani 

(Seek to perform your duty; but do not lay claim to its fruits. You have a right to perform your prescribed action, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results your activities, but neither should you avoid doing your duty) 

So that’s the moral of the story:

Always do your best without expecting results and you will be happy.

To put it in an nutshell:

NO EXPECTATIONS – NO DISAPPOINTMENTS 


RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI)

Do you expect a Return on Investment (ROI) on everything...?

In today’s materialistic world  when you Invest your Money – you expect a Return on your Investment (ROI). 

Some persons apply this ROI Theory to other domains of their lives as well. 

For example  they feel that if they invest in a relationship  especially marriage  they must get good returns (ROI). 

As far as any relationship  especially marriage  is concerned  it is best to adopt the following philosophy:

No Expectations  No Disappointments  Happy Marriage 

Apply this philosophy in your career, your work life too.

Do your job to the best of your ability – then step back – and forget about results, rewards etc

Have no expectations  expect no “return”  and you will not be disappointed.


QUID PRO QUO

The first thing to do is to forget about Quid Pro Quo

Just do what you want to do  and step back. 

Do not expect anything in return. 

Just do something for the sake of doing that something.

Do it because you want to do it  you enjoy doing it  and forget about the results.

From personal experience  I have discovered that this is the best philosophy of life.

Nowadays  I write, I blog – but I do not have any expectations from writing and blogging.

I do not expect any “return” – tangible or intangible – for the effort I invest in blogging.

Yes – I do “invest” plenty of my resources  especially my time and my intellect  in writing and blogging  but I do not expect a “return” on my “investment”.

No ROI 

No Quid Pro Quo

I Blog  because I love Blogging.

So I write a Blog  and then  I step back  I forget about the blog I have written – and I go on to writing my next blog.

Like Lao-tzu says in Tao Te Ching: 

Do your work  then step back

Dear Reader – Remember: 

If you have no expectations – then you will have no disappointments

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
This is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you, so please do due diligence before you adopt any philosophy of life.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Do Your Needs Influence Your Behaviour...?

Self-Help and Self-Management

UNDERSTANDING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR

HOW YOUR NEEDS INFLUENCE YOUR BEHAVIOUR
Musings of a Veteran
By
VIKRAM KARVE


NEEDS DRIVE YOUR BEHAVIOUR

You see a man driving his car very fast  quite recklessly and dangerously.

You wonder why he is doing so  why is he behaving in this reckless way...?

Well  there can be many reasons for his behaviour.

1. Maybe – He is driving fast to experience a sense of thrill 

(to satisfy his need for excitement).

2. Or – He may be driving fast to save time 

(to satisfy his need for urgency)

3. Or maybe – he is driving fast to reach his destination on time 

(to satisfy his need for punctuality)


Thus  the same behaviour or action may have different motives – depending on the need you want to satisfy – at that point of time.

This is one simple example  but all your behaviour is governed by your intrinsic motivation to satisfy your needs.

Motivation is a psychological drive that arouses you to act in a certain way – to achieve your desired goal – which is – the satisfaction of your needs.

Thus  motivation is the psychological driving force that stimulates goal directed behaviour towards your desired goal.

Remember: 

Your desired goal is the “satisfaction of your need” 

For example  hunger is a motivation that elicits a desire to eat and satisfies your need for food  or  at a very basic level  your need for survival.


SIXTEEN (16) BASIC NEEDS THAT INFLUENCE HUMAN BEHAVIOUR

According to Professor Steven Reiss – there are 16 basic desires (16 psychological needs) that guide nearly all human behaviour.

Here is the list of 16 basic needs that influence your behaviour (in alphabetical order):

1. Acceptance  the need for approval

2. Curiosity  the need to learn

3. Eating  the need for food

4. Family  the need to raise children

5. Honour  the need to be loyal – to the traditional values of your country/clan/religion/ethnic group/profession/society

6. Idealism – the need for social justice

7. Independence  the need for individuality

8. Order  the need for organization – for organized, stable, predictable environments

9. Physical Activity  the need for exercise

10. Power  the need for influence of will

11. Romance  the need for sex – and for beauty

12. Saving  the need to collect

13. Social Contact  the need friends (peer relationships)

14. Social Status  the need for social significance (importance in society or at the workplace)

15. Tranquility  the need to be safe, secure and protected

16. Vengeance  the need to strike back  to retaliate  to take revenge – for perceived injustice – against persons/organisations who you feel have caused harm to you. 


PROCESS OF MOTIVATED BEHAVIOUR

Of course  as you will realise  this list is not all encompassing – and there are so many other needs that influence your behaviour.

Some of these “needs” are tangible  and some “needs” are intangible.

Why do you behave in the way you do...?

You behave in a certain way to satisfy your needs.


FOUR STEP BEHAVIOUR PATTERN

The process of human behaviour can be summarized in four steps:

1. A need is aroused within you

2. You behave in a way to satisfy the need

3. The need is satisfied

4. You relax 


SIMPLE EXAMPLE OF NEED MOTIVATED BEHAVIOUR

Let me give you a very simple example. 

1. You feel Hungry (the need to Eat is aroused in you) 

2. You Eat Food (this may entail related behaviour like cooking/ordering/going to restaurant etc)

3. Your Hunger is Satiated (need is satisfied) 

4. You Relax

Well – this is a very simplistic example – but – you have a choice of responses to satisfy your hunger – you can choose either to cook, order or eat out – and you can also choose the type of food to eat. 

You may behave in different ways depending on the situation – and – of course – different people will behave in different ways to satisfy their hunger ( someone may even steal food).  

For other more intricate needs – the behaviour may be more complex too. 


HUMAN BEHAVIOUR IS NEED MOTIVATED”, VALUE DRIVEN and SITUATION SPECIFIC

You have seen how it is your needs – that influence your behaviour

The way in which you behave to satisfy your needs – it depends on your valuesattitude and mindset – at that point of time in your life.

Yes  it is your values and mindset which will influence you to behave in a “certain way” to satisfy your needs in a given situation.

Your behaviour is value-driven and situation-specific.

For example  the need for romance will be satisfied by different persons each in their own unique way – depending on their values and the situation.

Some may satisfy their need for romance by indulging in platonic love – whereas others may resort to physical sex. 

Nowadays – some lonely people find it easy to satisfy their need for romancevia online relationships.

It is best to try and satisfy your needs to the extent feasible – because – from the moment a need is aroused – till it is satisfied – you will be in a state of tension – which will “motivate” your behaviour.

Yes  during the period between “need arousal” and “need satisfaction” you will experience a sense of tension  a condition of unrest or uneasiness  which will propel you to behave in a certain way.

Once the need is satisfied – you will relax.

Needs can be immediate, short term or long term.

When you cannot satisfy a need – you will experience feelings of frustration.


HOW FRUSTRATION AFFECTS YOUR BEHAVIOUR
(ADAPTIVE and MALADAPTIVE RESPONSES)

The degree of your frustration will be related to the magnitude of the unsatisfied need.

Your frustration will affect your behaviour and may cause you to behave in different ways.

You may find a new and acceptable way of reducing or substituting the (unsatisfied) need – in order to make it attainable (adaptive response)

Or  you may continue futile efforts to achieve the unattainable need (maladaptive response)

One of the typical maladaptive responses to frustration is aggression

Another maladaptive response is to go into depression or indulge in negative activities like alcohol/drug abuse.

I have seen many individuals turn to alcohol when their need for success was frustrated.


CONCLUSION

Dear Reader: 

Reflect on your own behaviour in the past few days (or recall some of your own memorable behavioural disasters/fiascos or some curious behaviour you may have witnessed).

Explore the dynamics between your needs and your behaviour.

Is there a connection between your values and mindset – and way you behaved in certain situations...?

Your “needs” influence your behaviour 

Do you agree...?

Please comment and let us know.

Whenever you behave in a certain way  introspect and analyse: 

Which was the need that drove you to behave in that particular way...?

Do you want to change your behaviour...? 

Remember – the key to changing your behaviour is to work on changing your needs.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. These are my personal views. Please use your own due diligence because they may or may not work for you. 
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. All examples and tips are illustrative in nature. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

This a revised and updated version of my article first posted on Wednesday, August 21, 2013 by me, Vikram Karve, in my blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve (