Are you “out of date” on “Dating”...?

Are you “out of date” on “Dating”...?

Let me give you a “refresher course” on “Dating” – in a nutshell.

DATING GUIDE

Romantic Musings

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

WHAT IS “DATING”…?

A “girl” asked me out on a date.

Since – I am “out of date” on “dating” – I decided to re-check the meaning of the term “dating”.

So – I “Googled” the word “Dating” – and the top hit was the Wikipedia Page on “Dating”.

Here is the “definition” of “Dating” from the Wikipedia Page on Dating

(url: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating accessed on 07 March 2016):

Dating is a part of the human mating process – whereby – two people meet socially for companionship – beyond the level of friendship – or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. 

Later – there is an elaboration:

One of the main purposes of dating is for two or more people to evaluate one another’s suitability as a long term companion or spouse.

From the definition of “dating” above – I surmise that: 

The principal objective of “Dating” is – “to assess the suitability of the “Dating Partner” – for an “Intimate Relationship” – or as a “Prospective Wife/Husband” 

The aim of “Dating” is to assess the “suitability” of the “Dating Partner”: 

1. For an “Intimate Relationship” 

or 

2. As a “Prospective Wife/Husband” 

So – in the light of the definition of dating – I reflected on the “moot question”:

“Should I accept the girl’s dating proposal and go out on a date with her...?”

Well – let me ruminate on the two salient aspects of the “dating” definition: 

DATING FOR MARRIAGE

I am married.

In fact – I am “much married” for more than 35 years to the same wife.

And – I do not intend to divorce my wife and marry the “girl” who has asked me out for a “date”.

Actually – even if I want to marry the “girl” – it may not be feasible – since my wife may not be very eager to divorce me.

So – why should I waste time and resources “assessing” the girl’s “suitability” as a “prospective wife” – when I know that marrying her is not possible.

Now – does the “girl” want to “date” me in order to assess my “suitability” as a “Prospective Husband”...? 

Well – you will have to ask her that. 

DATING FOR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP

And – since I am married – as far as having an extra-marital “intimate relationship” is concerned – the less said the better. 

CAN I GO ON A “DATE” WITH THE “GIRL”...? 

As far as going on a “date” with the “girl” is concerned – for me – both objectives of “dating” don’t seem feasible to achieve.

I cannot marry the girl.

I am not inclined to have an “intimate relationship” with her. 

So – with both options closed (“marriage” and “intimate relationship”) – sadly – for me – the pleasure of “dating” is ruled out. 

CAN YOU TAKE YOUR SPOUSE ON A DATE...?  

Well – you may console me and say: 

“Why don’t you take your wife out on a “date”…?”

Come on – don’t be crazy.

Do you want me to assess the suitability of my own wife for an “intimate relationship” (or as a “prospective wife”) after being married to her for more than 35 years…? 

A “DATELESS” LIFE

So – “Dating” is ruled out for me – both inside marriage and outside marriage.

Yes – no “intra-marital” dating for me. 

And – no “extra-marital” dating for me. 

In fact – in my entire life – I have never had the experience of “dating”.

So – no “pre-marital” dating for me. 

I have had zero dates – “pre-marital”, “intra-marital” or “extra-marital” – yes – I have had a “zero dating life”.

Sadly – I am destined to live a “dateless” life. 

MORAL OF THE STORY 

Let me summarize and recap the 3 salient aspects of “Dating”: 

1. “Dating” is a part of the Human “Mating” Process

(So – Don’t “Date” unless you want to “Mate”...) 

2. The principal objective of “Dating” is “to assess the suitability of the “Dating Partner” for an “Intimate Relationship” or as a prospective Wife/Husband...” 

(So – Don’t “Date” someone unless you are considering having an “Intimate Relationship” with that person or are serious about “marrying” that person...) 

3. “Dating” your own Spouse is infructuous 

(Do you want to assess the suitability of your own husband/wife for an “Intimate Relationship” or as a prospective Husband/Wife...?)

Dear Friends: 

Since I am “Much Married” – and – I am a “Puritan” Prude – the pleasure of “Dating” is ruled out for me. 

So – all I can do – is to wish you “Happy Dating” (and “Mating”) 

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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This is a revised version on my story posted online earlier in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve Blog on March 8, 2016 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/dating-guide-should-i-go-on-date.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/09/dating-guide-what-is-dating.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/can-married-people-date.html