Tuesday, April 30, 2013

HUMOR IN MARRIAGE - MY WIFE AND HER PRAISOPHOBIA


HUMOUR IN MARRIAGE

MY WIFE AND HER PRAISOPHOBIA
(Not to be confused with Prosophobia - the fear of progress)
HUMOR IN MARRIAGE
By
VIKRAM KARVE

I have coined a new term – “PRAISOPHOBIA”

Praisophobia is the Fear of Praise.

Praisophobia is the fear that if you praise someone then the person’s behaviour may change for the worse (or if you praise some thing then something adverse may happen).

Let me give you an example.

Twenty years ago, if you asked my wife what was the worst thing she did not like about me, she would unhesitatingly say that she hated my drinking habit.

Yes, I must confess that I indeed loved to drink.

I had my first drink after I joined the Navy in the 1970’s.

I started enjoying drinking alcohol in earnest on my first ship where the wardroom bar was well stocked with the choicest varieties of alcoholic beverages – wines, spirits, liquors, liqueurs, beers – you name it and the drink was available. 

Those days drinking was quite affordable since the booze was duty-free on ships.

I sampled and tasted everything and after experiencing all varieties and types of alcoholic drinks I discovered that I liked two brands:

1. a Blended Scotch Whisky called Chivas Regal (which I drank on board)

and

2. an Indian Dark Rum called Hercules XXX Rum (which I drank ashore). 

We did not get duty-free liquor ashore and after developing a taste for Scotch Whisky I found the Indian Whiskies of those days quite raw, coarse and rough for my palate.

In contrast, Indian Dark Rum was probably the best in the world and famous brands Indian Rum like Hercules, Sea Pirate and Old Monk were particularly good and mellow.

Hey, I am digressing, so let me get to the point.

As I told you, my wife hated my drinking.

In contrast, I loved drinking so much that I used to eagerly wait for sunset so that I could pour my first peg of the day.

(As a rule I avoided drinking in daytime since I did not enjoy it)

I drank quite regularly, almost every day, and I am sure my wife was very worried that I may become an alcoholic.

My wife religiously fasted on Mondays and I am sure she prayed to God that I should stop drinking alcohol.

Probably, my regular drinking was the biggest problem in her married life.

Then, all of a sudden, one day I stopped drinking – yes, I quit drinking alcohol forever.

This happened more than 10 years ago and since then I have remained a teetotaller.

I thought that my wife would be very happy that I had stopped drinking.

I thought that my wife would be filled with joy that her prayers had been answered and that her alcohol loving husband had turned a new leaf and was living a life of temperance and sobriety.

In fact, I thought that she would be full of praise for me. 

However, since the day I quit drinking, my wife has never praised me even once for having the resolve and willpower to free myself from the clutches of alcohol which I loved so dearly.

I thought that for an alcohol lover like me to have given up drinking was a commendable act deserving of the highest praise, especially from my wife who hated my drinking habit.

Yet, my wife has never uttered a word of praise for my good deed, either in private or in public.

The reason – PRAISOPHOBIA

My wife is afraid. My wife feels that if she praises me I may start drinking again.

So Dear Reader, the moral of the story is this:

If you do a praiseworthy deed and someone does not praise you do not get disappointed and do not think that those persons are unappreciative.

Maybe they suffer from Praisophobia

Think about it. 

Do you suffer from Praisophobia? 

Is your spouse afflicted by praisophobia?

Or do you know someone who is praisophobic?

Do tell us your experiences with praisophobia and other such crazy phobias you have come across in your life.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013 all rights reserved

Did you like reading this story?
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my book  COCKTAIL an anthology of Short Fiction.
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:

http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com
Twitter: @vikramkarve
      
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
  

Monday, April 29, 2013

CHANGING VALUE SYSTEM



Old Motto: TRUTH PREVAILS

New Motto: MENDACITY PREVAILS





Blog Fiction Story No. 35 - WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE


BLOG FICTION STORY NO. 35

WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE
A Love Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE


From my Creative Writing Archives:  

A Love Story with a Difference.

This is one of my early stories about relationships. I wrote this story more than 10 years ago. 

Do tell me if you like this story.


A cell-phone rings at 9 o’clock in the morning in an apartment in Pune.  

The husband picks up, pauses for a moment as if hearing something, and says, “Don’t worry, I’ll be there on time,” and then he switches off the mobile phone and keeps it in his pocket.  

He then shouts to his wife, who is in the kitchen: “I’m going out for some work. I’ll be back around one thirty or two for lunch.” 
 
“Where are you going...? You’ve taken leave today. Let’s go shopping...and then we'll go for lunch and a movie.”
  
“Please. Not today. I’ve taken leave just for this important thing.”  

“Important thing…? What important thing…? Where are you going…?” the wife persists.   

The husband does not want to tell her but he knows now that he has no choice but to tell her. He knows his wife’s nature so well – she is not going to rest till she finds out. She will nag him to death until he tells her.   

So he decides to tell her the bare minimum.

“I am going to the Family Court,” he says. 
 
“Family Court…? Why…?” his wife shrieks in amazement.
 
“A divorce case,” the husband says nonchalantly.
 
“Divorce case…? You are filing a divorce case…? You are trying to divorce me behind my back…?” the wife yells hysterically.
 
“Will you please be quiet and listen…? It’s not us. Pooja has asked me to come for the hearing.” 
 
“Pooja…? Who is this Pooja…?”  

“You’ve met her. She’s my colleague at work.”
 
“Oh...so it is That Pooja…! I knew you always had a soft corner for her.” 
 
“It’s her final divorce hearing today and she’s called me.”
 
“Divorce case…? Pooja…? She called you…? How are you involved…? I hope the divorce is not because of you…? I knew you’d do something stupid. You are so gullible you know – you must have got trapped by her, fell victim to her charms and now you are in trouble being summoned by courts. Respectable persons never see the insides of a court in their entire lives...!” 
 
“Will you please keep quiet…? You just go on and on…! Pooja has called me just to give her emotional support...” 
 
“Emotional support…? From you…? So this Pooja needs emotional support from you…? Why you…? Tell me…why you…? I knew there was some hanky-panky going on. I’m coming with you. Can’t you see what she’s up to…?” 
  
“Please…please calm down and don’t jump to conclusions. Pooja is just a colleague going through a rough patch. As a friend, I have to help her out, show her a bit of compassion and kindness…that’s all…”  

“Compassion…? Compassion my foot…! This compassion may soon turn into passion…!” the wife says sarcastically, “I tell you…Drying a divorcee’s tears is one of the most dangerous pastimes for a man, especially a married man…!”  

“Pastime…? I’m not going there for amusement. I'm going just to help out a colleague…”   

“Oh, yes. An attractive colleague in distress, isn’t it...? And our Knight in shining armour is rushing to her rescue…!”  

“Okay. Why don’t you come along and see for yourself...” the husband says exasperated.
 
The moment he utters those words he instantly regrets it, but it is too late. 

His wife has already picked up her purse and is heading towards the door. 
 
“Why are they divorcing…?” the wife asks, as they are driving in their car from their house in Aundh towards the Family Court in city. 

“It’s divorce by mutual consent.”
  
“Mutual consent…? What nonsense…! There must be some other reason.”

“No. They have just agreed to separate.” 
  
“Agreed to separate…? If they can agree to separate, why can’t they agree to stay together…?
 
“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Pooja that…!” the husband says irritated.

“Of course I will. And I’ll give a piece of my mind to her husband too and tell him to stop harassing his wife.”
 
“Please…I beg you…for heaven’s sake don’t say anything stupid and embarrasing to them over there. He is not harassing her. They are parting amicably, as friends. I told you, it is an amicable divorce by mutual consent...”  

“What nonsense…? Amicable divorce by mutual consent…? There is no such thing as amicable divorce…!” 
 
“What do you mean…? Nowadays, so many people have amicable divorces and part as friends.”
 
“Nonsense…! It’s all nonsense, a cover up… Amicable Divorce is a big lie – an oxymoron.”
  
“Oxymoron…?” 
  
“Yes. Tell me, how can divorce be amicable…? If a marriage is really so amicable, why divorce in the first place…? If they can divorce and remain friends, I am sure they can remain married and be friends, isn’t it…?”
 
“I don’t know. Please let's talk something else.”
 
“I am sure there is something fishy...” 
 
“Will you please keep quiet and let me drive the car in peace…?” 
 
“What’s her husband’s name…?”
 
“Abhishek.”
  
“See… Pooja and Abhishek… even their names are compatible,” the wife says, I am certain that there must be some adultery involved. This Abhishek must be having an affair. Or it must be Pooja. Yes it's her. I’m sure she is having an affair…!” 
 
“Don’t be stupid. She’s not like that.”
 
“How do you know…?”
 
“I know her for so many years now. She’s quite close to me. She’s told me everything…”
  
“Close to you…? She is close to you…? Oh, My God…! I hope it’s not you…?” 
  
“Me…? Will you please shut up…? I told you it is mutual incompatibility…!” 
  
“Mutual Incompatibility my foot…! Let me tell you there is no one in this world who is more mutually incompatible than you and me…! But are we divorcing…?” 
 
“Why don’t we…? At least I’ll have some peace and respite from your constant nagging…” 
 
“Ah…you want to divorce me so you can marry her, is it…? You’ve got a hope in heaven…! I’ll cling on to you till my dying day… And then I will follow you as a ghost and even to heaven after that…” 

They drive in silence for a while and then the wife asks, "Has she got any children…?”
 
“Yes. Two. A boy and a girl. In school…”
 
“Poor kids. What will happen to them…?” 
 
“They’ll go off to a boarding school for a while till Pooja settles down...” 
  
“It’s funny. They’ve got children and are divorcing. We don’t have any children, but we are carrying on together…!” 

"Yes,” the husband says, “I really wonder…! We constantly fight but we stay together... and they have such a cordial relationship but they want to separate…” 
 
“Marriage is not supposed to be cordial and cold,” the wife says lovingly, snuggling up affectionately to her long-married husband.
 
“I’ve realized one thing,” says the husband dotingly hugging his much-married wife. 
  
“What…?” 
  
“The opposite of love is not hate – the opposite of love is indifference.” 


VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013 all rights reserved

Did you like reading this story?
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my book  COCKTAIL an anthology of Short Fiction.
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:

http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com
Twitter: @vikramkarve
      
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.