Salt Horse

SALT HORSE

Navy Stereotypes

Random Ramblings of a Navy Veteran

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Long ago – when I joined the Navy – there was a tendency to stereotype officers – especially officers of the Executive Branch (“Seaman” Officers) – on ships.

Those days – a warship had four “Specialist” Executive Officers:

1.            Gunnery Officer (GO)

Typically – Gunnery Officers were supposed to be “hot-shot” “spit-and-polish” “rough and tough” Type-A personalities who would be hollering at the top of their voice most of the time.

In addition of their professional gunnery duties – Gunnery Officers were responsible for all Parade, Drill and Ceremonial Activities/Events/Routines on the ship.

Gunnery Officers commanded Landing/Boarding Parties sent by the ship on operations to land ashore or board other ships.

Traditionally – the Gunnery Officer of the ship was the Officer of the Watch (OOW) during the toughest “Middle Watch” at Sea (Midnight to 4 AM or 2400/0000 Hrs to 0400 Hrs).

The “stereotype” Gunnery Officer was a redoubtable officer with “spic-and-span” bearing – the “prima donna” among Seamen Specialist Officers.

Of course – Gunnery Officers had the reputation of being “hard drinking” officers who could drink everyone else under the table.

In earlier days – Gunnery Officers dominated the Navy – they were the “prima donnas” – the “crème de la crème” – and – most Admirals were Gunnery Officers. (Now – it is not so).

2.            Navigation and Direction (ND) Officer (NO)

Navigation Officers considered themselves as “intellectuals” among the Seamen Officers.

The NO was the “pilot” of the ship – responsible for safe and proper Navigation of the Ship.

The NO also looked after Operations and Aircraft Direction – and was the Ship’s “Meteorological” Officer – unless a qualified “Met” Officer from the Education Branch was borne. 

Since Navigation Officers considered themselves to be the intellectually superior “crème de la crème” among Seamen Officers – so – they tended to remain aloof.

In fact – in British Origin/Design Ships – the NO’s Cabin was located near the Bridge – far away from the Cabins of other Officers (Officers’ Cabin Flat) – and this distance further facilitated aloofness and exclusivity. 

3.            Signal Communication Officer (SCO)

These were the “clever” and “smart” officers – shrewd, canny and wily – who – owing to the nature of their duties – enjoyed proximity to the Captain – and hence – the Captain’s “Spy” in the Wardroom was most likely to be the SCO.

Due to their intelligent cunning and crafty nature – they always outwitted their counterparts – especially the straight-talking Gunnery Officer (GO) and the laid-back TASO (Torpedo Anti-Submarine Officer).

A unique feature of the Signal Communications Branch was that though SCO’s were considered Executive (Seamen) Officers – their Sailors were not “Seamen”.

This enabled them to enjoy Command and rise to the highest echelons of the Navy.

4.            Torpedo Anti-Submarine Officer (TASO)

(With our penchant for changing names – and – in consonance with the increasing “Americanization” of the Navy – TASO was later renamed as ASWO (Anti-Submarine Warfare Officer) – but – I will use the designation TASO of the 1970’s – the era to which this story pertains…)

The TASO was the most “laid back” Officer among the “Specialist” Officers.

Maybe – this was because his domain was towards the aft of the ship – away from prying eyes of the Captain on the bridge – in contrast to the Gunnery Officer’s “part of ship” – the fo’c’sle – in direct view of the bridge.

Or maybe – it was because of the rather nebulous nature of underwater warfare in those times.

I may be wrong – but it was my observation – that – on the ships on which I served – the TASO was the least ambitious among “Specialist” Officers – in contrast to the “Hot-Shot” Gunnery Officer, the “Cat’s Whiskers” Navigating Officer and the “Shrewd” Signal Communication Officer.

The TASO did his job quietly and efficiently.

“Visibility” is important in the Navy.

On a ship – the Captain (and “powers-that-be) – are normally stationed on the “Bridge” of the Ship. 

From the “Bridge” – the TASO was not “visible” – nor did he make too much “noise” – so he was not “audible” too – and this made him appear relatively “laid back” as compared to his “Eager Beaver” counterparts.

TASO’s were my best friends on the ships on which I served.

Those days – it seemed – that – very few TASO’s reached the higher echelons of the Navy – as compared to their counterparts in Gunnery, Navigation and Communications.

However – with the renaming of TAS to ASW (and TASO to ASWO) – things seem to have changed dramatically – and – there seem to be plenty of ASWO’s in the higher echelons of the Navy. (Yes – the renaming of TASO to ASWO seems to have miraculously brightened their fortunes).

Well – based on my observations of “yesteryear” – I have “stereotyped” four types of Executive Officers (abbreviated as “X” Officers) – GO, NO, SCO, TASO.

However – I did come across other types of officers who belonged to the Executive Branch (“X” Branch).

For example – there were the “Hydro” Officers (Hydrographers) – highly specialised professionals – who were in their own world – busy on their Survey Ships – which were painted White in contrast to the Battle-Grey of Warships.

There were Naval Aviators (Pilots and Observers) – and Submariners – some of whom were specialists in G/ND/C/TAS too.

Also – there were the “landlubber” Naval Armament Inspection (NAI) Officers – why they were categorised as “X” Officers – I have not understood till today.

And – when the Supply and Secretariat (S&S) Branch was abolished in the late 1970’s – suddenly – overnight – hey presto – all S&S Officers became “X” Officers – and some of them completed their “X” courses and Sea Watchkeeping – and in due course – they qualified their Specialisation Courses too – and became GO, NO, SCO, TASO etc.

And of course – there was the “Salt Horse” – Navy Term for an Executive Officer who has not specialised in Gunnery, Navigation, Communications, TAS etc.

Yes – a “Salt Horse” is a Non-Specialist “X” Officer.

(Will some “Sea Dog” please tell us the origins of the term “Salt Horse”…?)

Well – let me tell you that I have seen a few “Salt Horses” reach high rank in the Navy – even command Warships. 

But – these are exceptions – and – it is the “Specialist” Executive Officers who rule the roost.

EPILOGUE

Do these stereotypes exist today…?

I don’t know.

But – I certainly saw the stereotypes diluting towards the later part of my Naval Service.

I did see a few “laid back” Gunnery Officers – but – I have yet to see an “Eager Beaver” TAS Officer.

What about you – Dear Reader…?

Are there such stereotypes in your organisation…?

If you are a Navy Veteran – do you agree with the stereotypes above – or – have things changed…?

If you are a Military Veteran – do tell us about the “stereotypes” in the Army and the Air Force. 

Dear Reader – before some “Hot Shot” Gunnery Officer comes “Gunning” for me – let me add a “disclaimer” that this story is a fictional spoof – and the stereotypes are a product of my imagination. 

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

Humor in Uniform – Musings of a “Superseded” Officer – Part 2 – Fulfillment after Supersession

Humor in Uniform

Musings of a “Superseded” Officer

by

Vikram Karve 

Continued from Part 1 – Supersession Day – url: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/05/supersession-day-musings-of-written-off.html

Part 2

Fulfillment after Supersession 

In my previous blog post – I told you that when you are “passed over” for promotion and “superseded” – you have 3 choices:

1. You can Quit the Service immediately by Resigning your Commission (even if it means giving up your pension and forgoing/losing many benefits)

2. You can wait for a few years to complete 20 years pensionable service – and then seek Premature Retirement (PMR).

3. You can serve till you attain the age of “superannuation” (Earlier the minimum superannuation age was 54 years – but I understand that this has now been increased to 57 years – and some officers continue for a few more years on “re-employment”)

This article is for those “superseded” officers who decide to choose the 3^rd option and continue serving till they attain the age of superannuation.

YOUR “GIRLFRIEND” HAS “DUMPED” YOU

Let me explain metaphorically.

Suppose you have a steady girlfriend to whom you intend getting married and spending the rest of your life.

You have been loyal, sincere and devoted to your girlfriend.

Suppose she suddenly dumps you.

How will you feel…?

Won’t you feel betrayed…?

Similarly – won’t you feel “betrayed” the moment you are superseded for promotion…?

You have been loyal to the service – but – the service has not been loyal to you in return.

For no apparent reason – the service has “dumped” you.

You faithfully loved your girlfriend – and she dumped you.

You were totally devoted to the service – and the service “dumped” you.

Now – once your girlfriend has dumped you – what are the options open to you…?

Think about it.

You can become vindictive towards her – you can indulge in self-pity and sink into depression – you can plead with your girlfriend to take you back into her life – you can beg and beseech her to reconsider her decision to dump you – or – you can move on in life – and try to acquire a new girlfriend.

Similarly – what are your options when you are superseded…?

1. You can become “bitter” and resentful and start behaving in an acrimonious and spiteful manner. Such rancorous behavior will spoil inter-personal relationships and create “bad blood” in the environment – and – such negative vibes not only affect your own mental and physical health but will affect your family, friends and colleagues as well.

2. You can “internalize” your sorrow, start brooding and indulge in self-pity. Excessive self-commiseration will not only will make you miserable and cause you depression – but it may also push you towards alcoholism if you have a tendency to “drown” your sorrows in drink. I have seen many superseded officers becoming alcoholics.

(As an aside – let me tell you what one witty senior officer said about me when I was superseded.

He opined: 

“We don’t have to worry about him (me) becoming an alcoholic. The bugger is already a bloody drunkard. For all you know – supersession may have the opposite effect on him – and he may stop drinking…”

By the way – I did quit drinking – albeit a few years after supersession)

3. You can “plead” with the service to promote you. This can be done in a number of ways. You can “beg” your seniors for “thumping” ACRs to enable you to get promoted in the remaining attempts, you can take the “official” route – put up representations, statutory complaints and indulge in litigation etc. All this will fill you with anxiety and stress. And – if you get involved in litigation – besides the expenses involved – your mind will start thinking negative thoughts – especially as you keep discussing your case ad nauseam with lawyers and “sea lawyers”. Instead of thinking interesting creative positive thoughts – your mind will be constantly preoccupied with negative thinking. All this will affect your family and environment too.

4. Or – like in the “girlfriend dumping” metaphor – you can choose the option of moving on in life and acquiring a new “girlfriend”. Now – if you had chosen the option of resigning and quitting the service immediately after you are superseded – this new “girlfriend” can be a new job in “Civvy Street”. However – since you have decided to serve till superannuation – you will have to find this new “girlfriend” within the service. How do you do this…? How did I do this…? Read below…

INTROSPECTION

Firstly – you must be clear in your mind that the service has “rejected” you – and now – you are an “unwanted” entity (just like the example of your girlfriend “dumping” you and not wanting you anymore)

You have been brutally superseded – “passed over” for promotion – “written off” – “fallen by the wayside” – “deadwood” – discarded, redundant and unwanted by the environment.

You have been sidelined from the mainstream – you have been put on a sidetrack – and those on the main track don’t care two hoots about you.

So – don’t expect any “sympathy” from the system.

You are on your own – “index” – as they say in the Navy – and – you have to discover the best way to continue your journey in service as a “superseded” officer till you reach the age of superannuation.  

(If some seniors, course-mates and friends are helpful – consider it as a bonus – but don’t expect it)

By the time you are superseded – you would have done many appointments in a variety of jobs.

That’s the beauty of the Armed Forces (especially the Navy) – they make you work in a variety of jobs so that you become the “Jack of all Trades”.

Introspect – reflect – of all the jobs you did – which is the job you enjoyed the most…?

In my case – I had loved serving on ships the best.

But sadly – this job was ruled out – since – those days – superseded officers are not appointed for sea duties – which were considered mandatory “criteria” appointments for promotion.

Maybe – it was the view of the “powers-that-be” that since superseded officers were not eligible for selection for promotion – there was no point “wasting” a criteria appointment on “passed over” officers.

Also – remember – that the moment you are superseded for promotion – you are officially declared “incompetent”.

So – overnight – from being a professional “hot shot” officer – I became professionally “incompetent” – at least in the eyes of the system.

Hence – I became ineligible for “prestigious” high-profile appointments ashore.

Having ruled out these “high profile” options – I explored suitable “low profile” opportunities available to me.

I had done two tenures “instructional duties” – one at Navy Training “Stone Frigate” INS Valsura (where I had taught Naval Officers undergoing the Specialization Course) – and – one at the Institute of Armament Technology (IAT) where I had taught and guided the Advanced Post Graduate Master’s (ME) Course in Systems Engineering).

I had served in Research and Development (R&D) appointment.

I had served in a Naval Dockyard.

I had a stint as a “Babu in Uniform”.

Of the above options – I liked “instructional” appointments the best – especially IAT Pune – where the egalitarian “laissez faire” multi-service environment was conducive to superseded officers – much better than the “regimented” rank-conscious ethos at INS Valsura.

(Though “Quality Assurance” (QA) appointments were considered “suitable” for superseded officers – I hadn’t served in a “QA” billet – and so – I was quite averse to trying out something that was unknown).

As advised my “mentors” – I put up a request for an appointment in IAT – and – thanks to my well-wishers – six months later – I was appointed to IAT Pune on “Instructional Duties”.

(Coincidentally – IAT had asked for an Officer with Qualitative Requirements (QRs) which matched my qualifications/experience – my earlier tenure at IAT had helped a great deal).  

I must say that the Navy shows due consideration to “passed over” officers and tries to soften the blow of supersession by giving suitable appointments and long tenures to them.

Not only did Navy give me my choice appointment – but they gave me a long tenure too – more than 8 years – followed by 6 years at Mumbai.

(Prior to supersession – my average tenure in a station was less than 2 years).

Did I do justice to my appointment at IAT Pune…?

I would love to blow my own trumpet – but – I will just quote two extracts from two souvenirs (coffee table books) published by IAT during its Golden Jubilee.

Extract from page 63 of History of IAT – 50 Years of Excellence (1952 - 2002)

From Chapter on R&D Activities in Wings.

“Cdr VW Karve was the main pillar for many years and made the largest possible contributions to the students, faculty and institute. Numerous papers published by him in national and international journals earned a name for the Institute”

Extract from page 41 of IAT Golden Jubilee Souvenir

From the article “A Grateful Student Remembers”.

“Though not widely practiced, Cdr Karve’s Captain Haddockesque approach to education intrigued me enough to try out the concurrent methodology in conjunction with the sequential methodology, I was already into. It was an eventful and illuminating two semesters under the guidance of Cdr Karve, who was an Institute within the Institute”

CONCLUSION

Once you are “superseded” and “passed over” for promotion – if you choose to continue in service – it is best to make the most of it – by trying to identify and select a suitable “job” (within service parameters) – a job in harmony with your talent – a métier where you can flourish and contribute your best to the service too.

Self-Pity, Bitterness and Negative Thinking may prove counterproductive to your mental well-being and health – and – indulging in litigation may affect your “peace of mind”.

Remember the “dumped by girlfriend” metaphor – move on – be positive – introspect – discover your “métier” – find a new suitable “girlfriend” with whom you feel you can achieve your best – and – make the most of it. 

To be continued in Part 3 SUPERSEDED OFFICER’S SURVIVAL GUIDE 

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

Part 1 of this Blog Post posted in my blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/05/supersession-day-musings-of-written-off.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Out Pipe – Story from My Navy Days

NAVY CUT

Tobacco – the Navy Connection 

OUT PIPE

Story 

By

VIKRAM KARVE

NB:

1. This story happened 42 years ago in the 1970’s.

2. For the benefit of my civilian readers – certain Naval Terms have been explained in brackets/italics. Military/Naval/Veteran readers may skip these explanations.

PART 1

We sailed out after breakfast in the morning.

At around 10 AM – “Special Sea Dutymen” (SSD) had been “secured” after we left Mumbai harbour (Mumbai was called Bombay in the 1970’s). 

[Special Sea Dutymen (SSD) are key sailors involved in certain important evolutions of the ship like entering/leaving harbour, anchoring, coming alongside, close-quarter manoeuvring, refuelling at sea etc. Officers and Key Senior/Junior Sailors and in each department man/operate vital posts/equipment during these evolutions].

Special Sea Dutymen (SSD) had been “closed up” before leaving harbour. 

And – Special Sea Dutymen (SSD) were “secured” after leaving harbour.

[“close up” means to immediately proceed to place of duty. “secure” means to stop work. After the evolution is completed – the SSD hands over duties to the “Duty Watch” and the SSD “secures”. The “Duty Watch” performs their assigned duties for the 4 hours “Watch” – at sea – the working day is divided into watches of 4 hours each – starting midnight – with two dog watches of 2 hours each in the evening – in order to escape the monotony of standing the same watch every day].

At 10:30 AM – “Stand Easy” was “piped”.

[“Pipe” (or Boatswain’s Call) is a command issued by the Quartermaster over the ship’s broadcast system – it comprises a boatswain's “call” – a methodical wailing whistle peculiar for each “command” – followed the verbal “command” spoken clearly on the ship’s broadcast system. “Stand Easy” is a short break for the crew in the day’s work routine for a cup of tea and a smoke].

“Stand Easy” had been piped – and – we were enjoying a cup of tea with snacks in the Wardroom.

Suddenly – the Ship’s Main Broadcast System (SRE) crackled to life – and we were surprised to hear a rather funny announcement:

“Cigarette Band”  ( सिगरेट बंद )

We were wondering about this crazy announcement – when we heard the next announcement:

“Executive Officer requested Bridge – Captain’s Compliments…”

This was going to be fun – it seemed that the XO was going to get a “Bottle” from the Captain.

[The term “Bottle” is Naval Slang for reprimand].

So – I went up to the ship’s bridge to see the fun.

The furious Captain was shouting at the XO.

“What the hell is happening…? What is this bloody “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) nonsense…?” the Captain asked the XO.

“Sir – “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) is the Hindi translation for “Out Pipe”. The Quartermaster was piping “Out Pipe” after “Stand Easy”…” the XO said.

[Normally – “Stand Easy” time is from 10:30 AM to 10:45 AM in the morning and for 10 minutes in the afternoon from 3 PM to 3:10 PM.  After “Stand Easy” time is over – there is a Boatswain’s Call – “Out Pipe” – asking the sailors to get back to work after their “Tea and Smoke” break. The word “Pipe” in “Out Pipe” refers to Tobacco “Pipe”. In earlier days – most sailors smoked “Pipes” – Tobacco Pipes. It was thought that the nicotine in tobacco smoke boosted your mental clarity, gave you more energy and soothed your fatigue – so – sailors would be rejuvenated after “Stand Easy” break. On hearing the “Out Pipe” – sailors would extinguish their smoking tobacco pipes – and get back to work.  “Out Pipe” is also sounded after Breakfast, Lunch Break, or whenever men are required to come up from their messes to muster for work].

“Sir – “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) is the Hindi translation for “Out Pipe”. The Quartermaster was piping “Out Pipe” after “Stand Easy” time was over…” the XO explained to the Captain.

“But why the hell are we making such ridiculous “pipes” in Hindi on this ship…?” the Captain bellowed.

“Sir – there is a recent letter from Naval Headquarters (NHQ) to encourage use of Hindi in the Navy – and – they have forwarded a list of Hindi Equivalent Words for Navy Terminology…” the XO said, “and the Hindi experts in the Navy had translated “Out Pipe” as “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ).

(Literally translated – “Cigarette Band” means “Cigarette Shut/Close/Stop”)

“Pipes are not Cigarettes…” the Captain opined, “the correct Hindi name for “Pipe” is “Chillum” ( चिल्लम ) – or – “Hookah” ( हुक्का ). So – “Out Pipe” should be translated as “Chillum Band” ( चिल्लम बंद ) – or – “Hookah Band” ( हुक्का बंद ) – isn’t it…?”

“Yes, Sir…” the XO said.

“Send a letter to Naval Headquarters (NHQ) accordingly…” the Captain said.

“Aye Aye, Sir…” the XO said. 

(“Aye Aye” means “I understand and I will comply”)

“And one more thing – “Number One”…” the Captain said.

(Colloquially – on a ship – the Captain addresses his XO as “Number One” – with reference to the term “First Lieutenant” – as the Executive Officer was colloquially called in earlier Royal Navy Days). 

“Yes, Sir…?” the XO said.

“Stop these Hindi announcements. I don’t want sailors to get confused. Many sailors don’t understand Hindi that well. Tomorrow – they may ask me to give “Conning Orders” in Hindi – and there will be chaos. Remember – the Navy sails in international waters – so – in the Navy – we work in English. So – no more Hindi announcements on this ship…” the Captain said.

“Sir – the NHQ letter…” the XO stammered.

The Captain interrupted him and said sternly: “Till I am in Command of this ship – all “pipes” and “announcements” will be in English. Do you understand…?”

“Aye Aye, Sir…” the XO said.

So – “Cigarette Band” ( सिगरेट बंद ) was “Band” ( बंद ). 

And – we were back to the proper traditional announcement – “Out Pipe”. 

PART 2 – “NAVY CUT”

Nowadays – smoking may be frowned upon.

But – some years ago – till the 1970’s at least – smoking was considered cultured, stylish and urbane – a “social grace” – a sign of sophistication and refinement.

I started smoking in the 1970’s – after I joined the Navy – though – I did smoke a rare cigarette during my college days in the company of my friends – many of whom were smokers.

In the Navy – smoking was a part of everyday life and social culture.

Cigarettes were smoked in offices and all social occasions – and – with the permission of the senior officer – you could smoke during conferences and meetings – in fact – a tin of cigarettes would be kept on the conference tables with a lighter – and ashtrays were ubiquitous.

During our training days – we could smoke in classrooms – with the permission of the instructor – who would be a smoker in most cases.

Of course – cigarettes were very much a part of “Stand Easy” breaks.

On ships – we got the best of Imported and Indian Cigarettes at “Duty Free” Rates – and – this was a big incentive to smoke.

(Also - we got the best of Scotch and Foreign Liquor/Beer at “Duty Free” Rates – so – we were “motivated” to enjoy drinking as well).

After enjoying smoking the best of cigarettes – one day – I saw an old “Sea Dog” smoking a pipe in our ship’s wardroom.

I felt that pipe smoking was more genteel and dignified than smoking cigarettes – so – I decided to try “pipe smoking”.

I went to a reputed Tobacconist in Fort, Mumbai – and – I bought a pipe – a complete pipe cleaning kit – and – a leather pipe pouch – for my pipe and the cleaning kit comprising stainless steel scraper, reamer, cleaner for the tobacco bowl, chenille stems (straws to insert and clean the pipe stem) – and – to carry a tin/pouch of pipe tobacco.

In the evening – I sat in the wardroom – puffing away – with my new pipe between my lips.

The old “Sea Dog” walked into the wardroom – with his pipe firmly held between his lips.

The moment he saw me – he walked towards me – and – he sat down beside me.

Then – he educated me on all aspects of pipe smoking.

A few days later – he presented me with a Briar Pipe.

I enjoyed smoking a pipe – it gave me a unique pleasure – and – a sense of calmness and tranquility.

Relaxing after dinner – sipping Cognac – smoking my pipe – it was most pleasurable.

(While I found Blended Scotch Whisky with Soda quite effective in lieu of an “aperitif” – I loved a nightcap of Cognac or Drambuie Liqueur as a digestif – especially after a hearty Navy Style dinner).

I enjoyed smoking pipe during the day too.

It kept me calm and reduced my stress – and – probably made me a bit thoughtful.

I realized the virtues of pipe smoking.

In the words of Albert Einstein:

“I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement in all human affairs.”

William Makepeace Thackeray opined:

“The pipe draws wisdom from the lips of the philosopher, and shuts up the mouth of the foolish; it generates a style of conversation, contemplative, thoughtful, benevolent, and unaffected.”

Yes – pipe smoking certainly makes one contemplative.

However – when you smoke a pipe – for full effect of nicotine – you must inhale tobacco smoke.

The nicotine in pipe tobacco will boost your mental clarity, provide you more energy, and even soothe your fatigue, anxiety or nervousness – that is why pipe smoke must be deeply inhaled for maximum “benefit”.

I enjoyed pipe smoking for a few years – though I smoked cigarettes once in a while – when I found it inconvenient to carry my pipe.

I started off with the iconic “Three Nuns” Pipe Tobacco – and later – when appointed ashore – I experimented with various “Navy Cut” and “Flake” brands – and some “Blends” from Tobacconists – till I devised my own blend – which was deep, smooth and aromatic.

My pipe smoking days tapered off after marriage.

My “Better Half” didn’t like the omnipresent tobacco aroma and she also detested cleaning my pipes every alternate day (which involved immersing the pipe bowls overnight in rum and scraping them) – a task I had “delegated” to her.

She would radiate “negative vibes” towards me whenever I sat down with my pipe in my lips to enjoy a smoke – and these “venomous vibes” would diminish the blissful enjoyment of my pipe smoking.

So – I reduced my pipe smoking – and soon – I was back to smoking cigarettes – though – I did smoke my pipe on rare occasions.

Later – in the year 2002 – I quit smoking permanently – so – only nostalgic smoking memories remain.

By the way – if you are a smoker – or – if you have been a smoker – you may have come across the term “Navy Cut”.

In fact – “Navy Cut” cigarettes are quite popular.

Do you know what “Navy Cut” means…?

The term “Navy Cut” has its genesis from the habit of Navy Sailors who took a mixture of tobacco leaves, twisted them into a roll and tied it tightly with string or twine to bind the tobacco leaves - and then moistened the tobacco leaves in rum to mature, meld and blend – and “pressed” and stored the tobacco roll to mature.

Whenever the sailor wanted to have a smoke – he would “cut” off a slice from the tobacco roll and put it into his pipe.

This slice of tobacco was known as a “twist” or a “cut”.

In due course – with the advent of crafting of pipe and cigarette tobacco – all “twisted” and “pressed” tobacco became known as “Navy Cut” because of its popularity with Navy Sailors who liked its compactness, flavour and long-lasting slow-burning qualities.

Whereas Navy “Cut” Tobacco was cut from twisted, pressed and melded Tobacco – “Flake” Tobacco was the Traditional “Cut” of Pipe Tobacco – sliced from large pressed cubes (bricks) of tobacco.

“Flake” tobacco is supposed to have a rather “tobaccoish” taste as compared to the more flavoursome “Navy Cut”.

I am sure you must have come across “Navy Cut” and “Flake” cigarettes.

PART 3 – EPILOGUE

Dear Reader – the aim of this blog post is just to highlight the connection between Tobacco and the Navy – and not to eulogize smoking.

In fact – if you smoke – I will advise you to quit smoking – like I did almost 18 years ago in the year 2002.

Here is the story of How I Quit Smoking  

In conclusion – I will say – the Navy has a connection with many things – especially three “Sins” – Tattoo, Rum and Tobacco – which were spread around the world by Sailors.

Do you have a Tattoo…?

Do you drink Rum…?  

Do you Smoke…?

If so – “blame” the Navy…!!!  LOL

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

Part 1 of this Blog Post posted in my blog at url: https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/11/out-pipe-part-1-story-from-my-navy-days.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.