Friday, May 31, 2019

World No Tobacco Day – A Haiku

MY MINERVA MOMENT
A HAIKU TO COMMEMORATE THE MOMENT I QUIT SMOKING
By
VIKRAM KARVE 


Conquering an Addiction is like attaining Freedom from Bondage.

I quit smoking 17 years ago 
– in the year 2002. '

Here is a Haiku I wrote many years ago  to celebrate the moment I quit smoking  and  to describe my freedom from the bondage of smoke rings.

MY MINERVA MOMENT 
 
smoke rings
chains of bondage
like handcuffs

fresh breeze
smoke rings dissolve
I am free


Oh Yes  Dear Reader  this is exactly what I felt like when I freed myself from the smoking habit – conquering an addiction is like freedom from bondage

In case you are a smoker and you want to quit smoking – here is the link to my article on HOW TO QUIT SMOKING IN 3 SIMPLE STEPS (WITHOUT WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS) 


You can use this 3 Stage de-addiction technique to conquer other addictions as well.

Do comment and tell me if you liked the Haiku and the self help article.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. The self help article mentioned in the blog post above is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. So please do due diligence before trying out this technique.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
 




Wednesday, May 29, 2019

The Girl Who “Rejected” Me – Love Story – Short Fiction


THE GIRL WHO “REJECTED” ME
Fiction Short Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

PART 1

PUNE (CIRCA 1995)

“I don’t want to marry you…” she said.

“Why…? Is there someone else…?” I asked her.

“Yes…”

“Then – why did you call me over to your house to “see” you…?”

“My parents arranged it…”

“Oh. You haven’t told your parents that you are already in love with someone…?”

“No. I haven’t told my parents about my love affair…”

“But why…?”

“They are very conservative – they won’t accept it…”

“Oh…” I said, “Hope everything works out for the best for you – thanks for being so frank…”

I drank the remains of my coffee – and – I got up from my chair.

“Please sit down…” she said, “I want to talk something more…”

“You want to tell me something more…?” I said.

“Your parents have already conveyed their “yes” for our marriage…” she said.

“I know. I was there when my father called up your father…”

“Yes. They told me that you have liked me…”

“That’s true – I like you – and I want to marry you…”

“I also told my parents that I liked you…” she said.

“What…? If you don’t want to marry me – why did you tell your parents that you like me…?” I said to her.

“There is no reason for me not to like you…”

“You like me – but you don’t want to get married to me because you love someone else…”

“Yes – that’s right…”

“So – tell your parents the truth…”

“I told you – I can’t tell them about my love affair – they won’t approve…”

“But you will have to tell them eventually…”

“I know. But now – I have to buy time. The urgent thing to do right now is to stop our marriage proposal before it is too late…”

“Okay. So – you tell your parents that you have changed your mind – tell them that you don’t want to get married to me…” I said to her.

“No. You “reject” me. You tell your parents that you don’t want to get married to me…” she said to me.

“What are you saying…? Why should I “reject” you…? I am quite okay getting married to you. It is you who doesn’t want to get married to me. It is you who is “rejecting” me…” I said.

“Try to understand. You are in the Navy – so you don’t know much about the society out here. If a boy “rejects” a girl – it is okay. But – if a girl “rejects” a boy – the boy becomes a “laughing stock” – and people start talking all sorts of things. I don’t want you or your parents to suffer embarrassment…” she said.

I thought about what she had said.

She had a point.

I had seen this happen to a neighbour of mine.

A girl had “rejected” him – and people were speculating about what was “wrong” with him.

Yes – we lived in a close-knit “peth” – everyone knew about such marriage proposals – and the news that a girl had “rejected” me would spread fast.

I would go away to sea – but my parents would have to suffer unspoken taunts and unseen jeers – for them it would be unimaginable agony. 

The girl looked at me and said: “I like you. You are a good person. I don’t want to cause any embarrassment to you or to your parents. That is why I want you to “reject” me. You can give any reason you like – tell them that you don’t like my nature – you can say that you don’t like my looks – that I am not smart enough to be a Naval Officer’s wife – you say anything – I won’t mind…”

And so – I went back home – and I “rejected” the girl.

I told my parents that I didn’t want to marry her as I felt she wouldn’t be a suitable wife for me.

My parents were surprised – they were disappointed – but I was firm – I did not want to marry this “girl”.

So – my father talked to the girl’s father.

I don’t know what reason he gave – but – the marriage proposal was off.

I cut short my leave and joined my ship in Mumbai.

(Dear Reader – I forgot to tell you in the beginning – the girl who “rejected” me – or rather – the girl who made me “reject” her – the girl’s name was “Nisha”…)

20 Years Later

PART 2

AUCKLAND NEW ZEALAND (CIRCA 2015)

I saw her at once – the moment she entered the pub.

I recognized her.

She was the same girl who had “rejected” me – Nisha.

Nisha looked around the pub – as if searching for someone.

Her eyes swept across the room – and – in due course – she looked in my direction.

Our eyes met.

She gave me a look of pleasant surprise.

Nisha had recognized me too.

She smiled and started walking towards me.

I stood up.

“So nice to see you here…” Nisha said.

“Me too…” I said.

She gave me a warm hug.

“Can I join you…?” she said.

“Of course…” I said.

She looked at my glass – and said: “You’re having Pale Ale…?”

“Yes…” I said.

“I’ll get some…” she said – and quickly walked towards the bar counter. 

She returned with two glasses of Pale Ale.

“Cheers…” she said, “now you tell me what are you doing here in Auckland…?”

“My ship has come here – we are berthed alongside Captain Cook Wharf…” I said.

“Oh – a ship which carries cars…?”

“Yes – a “RoRo” Ship – I am the Master – the Captain of that ship…”

“Oh – so you are in the Merchant Navy now…?”

“Yes. I quit the Navy 15 years ago and joined the Merchant Navy…”

“That’s great…” she said, “are you married…?”

“No…” I said, “And you…?”

“Yes…”

“To the same…”

“Yes…”

“Congratulations – I am so happy it worked out for you…” I said.

Her mobile rang.

Nisha said, “Excuse me…” and she took the call.

“You’ve come…? I am already here – sitting inside – can you see me – yes – I am sitting with a man – come, come…” Nisha said into the phone.

I looked up.

I saw a woman walking towards us.

“My partner has come…” Nisha said.

“Partner…?” I said.

“Yes – my partner – my “Lady Love” – well  we are married now – so you can even call us “husband and wife”…” Nisha said. 

The girl – Nisha’s “partner” – she had reached our table.

Nisha and her “partner” – they kissed each other – it was the first time I had seen two women kiss each other on the lips.

Nisha introduced her “partner” to me – her name was Asha.

“Asha and Nisha – even your names rhyme…” I said.

“Yes…” Nisha said, kissing Asha once more, “we are in perfect harmony with each other…”

“I’ll go and get a beer…” Asha said – and she walked towards the counter.

“I didn’t know you were a lesbian…” I said to Nisha.

“And I didn’t know you were gay…” she said to me.

“What…? I am not gay…!” I said to her.

“Then what are you doing sitting here in a gay bar…?” she said.

“Gay Bar…? What are you saying…? There are so many women here. Even you came here…” I said.

“It’s an LGBT Hangout – but you don’t worry – out here – people are very permissive and friendly – everyone mixes and mingles freely here – lesbians, gays – we LGBT don’t segregate – everyone is welcome – even “straight” people – so just relax…”

The moment I came to know that this was “Gay Bar” – I started imagining things – and – I felt uncomfortable. 

Nisha must have seen the look of unease on my face – so she said: “If you are so homophobic – why did you come here…? Didn’t you know that this entire street is famous for LGBT “nightlife”…?”

“No. No. I didn’t know. It’s my first visit to Auckland. I decided to have a long evening walk – I walked on Quay Street, past Britomart, then I walked on Queen Street, all the up the CBD, and then, I turned on this road – I felt thirsty – I saw this pub – so – I decided to have a beer here…” I said.

Meanwhile – Asha – Nisha’s “Partner” – she came and joined us.

Asha looked at me and said: “Nisha told me about you – but – she didn’t tell me that you were…”

“No. No. I am not gay…” I protested, “I have already told Nisha that I came here by mistake – I didn’t know this is a Gay Bar. Tell me – do I look “gay”…?”

“Do I look like a “lesbian”…?” Nisha said, “Tell me – when you first saw me – did you think I was a lesbian…?”

“I am sorry…” I said, “I think I will go now…”

“If you are feeling uncomfortable over here – let’s go home…” Nisha said.

“Home…?”

“Yes – let’s go to our home – we have a lovely house…” Asha said.

Seeing the discomfort on my face – Nisha said to me: “Don’t worry. We won’t do anything “kinky” with you. I know your imagination must be running wild – but we are just a normal couple running a regular household and leading a routine life like conventional “husband and wife” couples…”

“We are married too…” Asha said, “come – it will be just like visiting your married friends…”

“Asha will cook a lovely dinner for you – and we can sit and talk – don’t you want you hear our story…?” Nisha said.

“Please come…” Asha said, “I’d love to cook dinner for you. And – our house is in Parnell – it’s near the Port – we’ll have dinner – and then we’ll drop you on Quay Street outside the Port Gate…”

It was a genuine invitation – and – I could not refuse.

We finished our beers – and we walked outside to their car.

Half an hour later – we – Nisha and I – we sat on the lawn of their lovely home in Parnell – a beautiful house in a posh suburb of Auckland.

“You were the first marriage proposal after I finished my B.Com. degree…” Nisha said to me, “I was barely 21 – but my parents wanted to marry me off…”

“So – they made you see many boys…?”

“No. After you “rejected” me – I avoided seeing boys on some pretext or the other. I had made up my mind that I wanted to be with Asha…” Nisha said.

“Oh…”

“Asha and Me – we were classmates in school. We had “feelings” for each other even then. Then – we were classmates in college – we were totally in love with each other…”

“Your parents didn’t suspect…?”

“No. Parents don’t bother about their daughter’s girlfriends – they are only concerned about their daughter’s boyfriends…”

“Yes – that’s true…” I said.

“We – Asha and Me – we had a good time – we could spend time together in privacy – on the pretext of studies – we even used to sleep over at each other’s place – ostensibly doing “joint studies”…”

“And then I came along…”

Yes. Had you said “Yes” – I would be in a big fix – but you were very kind – and “rejected” me…”

“And then – what happened…?”

“There was pressure on Asha too – to see boys for marriage…”

“Oh…”

“What we wanted was impossible in India – especially in our place – so – we did some research – and felt this was a good country for us – with its permissive culture – so – we came here for higher studies as students – and we stayed on here ever since – in a few years we got our residency – and now – we are citizens – we have done well for ourselves – as you can see…”

“And your parents – when did they find out…?”

“Here – we lived together as flat-mates – it was quite normal – two girls living together as flat-mates – no one at home had a clue that we were lesbians – our parents were only worried about marrying us off…”

“You didn’t visit home after you came here…?”

“Only once – in 1998 – but our parents visited us here twice in the 1990s – they even stayed with us in our flat – but we made sure that they didn’t suspect anything…”

“You kept your relationship secret…?”

“Yes – we tried our best to keep it a secret – some friends out here may have suspected – but then – out here – these things really don’t matter...”

“And – when did you come “out of the closet” – so to speak…?”

“In 2005 – when Civil Union was legalized – even for same-sex couples – we – Asha and Me – we had a “civil-union” and we made our relationship legal – and then – in 2013 – when same-sex marriage became legal – we got legally married – and from “partners” – we became “husband and wife”…” Nisha said, and smiled and me.

“And – your parents…?”

“Well – they kept on finding “suitable boys” for us – some – even here in Auckland – we kept dilly-dallying – we refused to meet these “prospective grooms” on some pretext or the other – but finally – we got fed up and told our parents that we didn’t want to get married…”

“They must have got some inkling…?”

“Maybe – but – the first time I told them myself was after our “Civil Union” in 2005…”

“And – what happened…?”

“They were very angry. They disowned us – ostracized us – even till today – they have not accepted our relationship – our marriage…” Nisha said, her eyes moist.

Then – Nisha looked at me and said: “Now – let’s talk about you – you tell me about your life…”

So – I told Nisha all about my life.

Asha announced that dinner was ready – so - we went inside and enjoyed the delicious dinner.

After dinner – they dropped me on Quay Street – outside the port gates near Captain Cook Wharf.

Nisha and Asha – they both hugged me and kissed me on the cheeks – and we said our goodbyes.

Next morning – I sailed out from the port of Auckland on my way to Osaka.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.



Disclaimer:
This story is fiction. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
  

Monday, May 27, 2019

Humor in Marriage – “Shopping” with “Better Half”

Humor in Marriage

“WISDOM” FROM A “MUCH MARRIED” HUSBAND

HOW TO GO SHOPPING WITH YOUR WIFE by VIKRAM KARVE  

Disclaimer:
1. Please read this apocryphal story only if you have a sense of humor. This yarn is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. And yes, this story is for mature broad-minded adults only – so if you are a kid, or an overly gender sensitive type, please skip this post.
2. Please note that this story is set in 1982 – 37 years ago – when gender equations and social mores were quite different from today’s milieu.
3. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

“SHOPPING” WITH “BETTER HALF”  

PROLOGUE

When I got married – I had no prior experience of marriage – since it was my first marriage.

Since I had ZERO girlfriends before my marriage – I was totally innocent about relationships with girls.

Till my marriage – I had no prior experience in how to cohabit with a girl.

In fact – I did not even know how to interact with a girl.

I was a total “novice”.

It was the same with my newly wedded wife too – she was just 21 – and – she had lived a rather purist life.

And suddenly – one day – we – my wife and I – two “inexperienced” souls – we got married.

After our wedding in Pune – we went to live in our tiny one room apartment in the Curzon Road Residential Complex – called “Curzon Road Apartments” – located mid-way between Connaught Place and India Gate on Kasturba Gandhi Marg in New Delhi.

This story happened 37 years ago – in 1982 – in the early inchoate days of our marriage.

“SHOPPING” WITH “BETTER HALF”
Fiction Short Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

“I don’t know how to tell you – but I need something urgently…” my newly-wedded wife said.

“Sure…” I said, “What do you want to buy so urgently…?”

“Innerwear…” she said.

“Innerwear…?” I asked, “But it’s still summer season…”

“Lingerie…” she said.

“Lingerie…?”

“Underclothes – underwear – I mean – undergarments…”

“Oh – you want to buy “Bras and Panties”…” I said – comprehension dawning on me pretty fast.

“Yes…” she said, “the same thing…”

“Why are you feeling so shy…? For men – what we call “Vest and Underwear” – for women – it’s “Bras and Panties”. But – tell me – why do you need “Bras and Panties” so urgently…?

“I seem to have forgotten to bring that packet of the new “Bras and Panties” which I had bought just before our wedding…”

“No Problem…” I said, “I know the best shop for “Bras and Panties”…”

“You know the best shop for “Bras and Panties”…? How do you know all this…?” my wife asked, curious.

“Observation…” I said, “I walk the streets – I drive around a lot – and – I observe…”

Soon – we were outside the “Bras and Panties” shop.

My wife got off the scooter – and she started walking towards the “Bras and Panties” shop.

I parked the scooter – and I followed my wife inside.

“Why have you come in…?” my wife asked me.

“Just to have a look around…” I said.

“I think you should wait outside…” my wife said.

But – a salesgirl interrupted our conversation – and she asked my wife what she wanted.

So – my wife started talking to the salesgirl.

Dear Reader – I have already told you that I like to “observe” – I am “curious” by nature – and – I have a “thirst” for learning new things.

So – I remained in the background – observing the proceedings.

The salesgirl was showing “bras” to my wife.

Soon – there were plenty of “bras” on the glass top of the showcase – and my wife seemed unable to make up her mind on which “bras” to select.

Being a “supportive” husband – I decided to help my wife.

“Why don’t you take a “trial”…?” I said to my wife.

“Trial…?” she said, looking confused.

“You must always “try out” clothes before you buy them…” I said.

“I know my size…” she said.

“More than the size – the “fit” is important – clothes must be comfortable – especially “underclothes” like “Bras and Panties”…” I pontificated.

I saw my wife’s cheeks turn crimson – and she was looking at me angrily.

“Madam…?” the salesgirl said to my wife.

“I will come later…” my wife said to the salesgirl.

Then – my wife said to me: “Let’s go home…”

The salesgirl seemed perturbed about losing a customer – so she said to my wife: “Madam – we have a room where you can take a trial. Please come with me…”

“No…” my wife said.

“Please Madam…” the salesgirl pleaded.

The beseeching tone in the salesgirl’s voice seemed to have soothed my wife’s anger – so – she went along with the salesgirl to the “trial room”.

This gave me an opportunity to enhance my knowledge on “Bras and Panties”.

So – I walked around the store – looking at the display windows and showcases.

The staff at the store was most helpful – and the salesgirls were most happy to answer all my “intelligent” doubts arising from my “thirst” for knowledge.

Dear Reader – I will not go into details of the “Question and Answer” sessions I had with the salesgirls – but – it was a most enlightening and educative conversation for me – there was so much to learn about “Bras and Panties” – so many “aspects” – Types, Cup Sizes, Styles, Shapes, Fits – a most fascinating subject – an entire science in itself.

My wife seemed to have taken my advice seriously – and was taking her time in the “trial room”.

The moment my wife came out – I asked her: “Did you like any Bras...?”

“Yes…” she said.

“And – Panties...?”

“Yes – Yes – Yes…” she said angrily.

“Very Good…” I said – happy that the “Bras and Panties” shopping expedition was a success.

But – instead of being grateful and thanking me – the moment we left the shop – my wife said angrily to me: “I am never going to come shopping with you again…”

My wife tried her best to avoid coming with me for shopping.

But – sometimes – she had no choice – and she had to come with me for shopping.

Firstly – my wife could not drive a scooter.

Later – when we got a car – she could not drive the car too.

She tried a lot – but even today – she can’t drive a scooter or car.

So – she has no choice but to take me along as a “driver” (and “porter”).

Secondly – owing to my keen sense of observation – I knew the best places for shopping for particular items.

Later – after the advent of malls – my wife would tell me to browse books in the bookstore – while she did her shopping in the mall.

Recently – when we visited our favourite mall – we saw that the bookstore had shut down.

So – I tagged along with my wife to the garment store in the mall.

My wife wanted to buy “Kurties” (Tops) – so – as a devoted and loving husband – I was sincerely trying to help her select “Kurties”.

But my “ungrateful” wife did not seem to appreciate my sincere efforts.

“Please don’t hang around here in the Ladies’ Section…” she said to me, “You go to the Gents’ Section upstairs and browse around there. I will call you when I finish shopping and you can come to the billing counter near the entrance…”

So – I went to the Gents’ Section to have a look at the clothes.

Half an hour later my wife called me on my mobile – so I went down to the billing counter.

My wife looked at the bags in my hand. 

She pointed to the bags in my hand and asked me: “What is all this…?”

“I bought some clothes for myself…” I said, “And what about you..? What did you buy…?”

“I bought nothing…” she said.

“What…? You bought nothing…? I thought you wanted to buy “Kurties”, “Trousers”, Dresses”…!” I said.

“I didn’t like anything…” she said.

My wife watched in amazement as the bill was being made for the items I had bought – Three Trousers, Five Shirts, Two Neckties, One Belt, Handkerchiefs, Socks – and even one Tweed Jacket.

“Are you crazy…? Why have you bought all these things – why so many Trousers, Shirts – and a Jacket…? Do you need so many clothes…?” my wife asked me.

“I liked them – so I bought them…” I said.

She gave me a look of exasperation.

It’s funny, isn’t it…?

My wife wanted to go shopping – and she bought nothing.

I went along as her “consort” – and I bought so many things.

In the Navy – after a Gunnery Shoot – we ascertain the “result of the engagement” – how many “hits” – how many “misses” – etc.

In this shopping episode – the “result of engagement” for my wife was ZERO – and for me – I had “hit” many targets – 3 Trousers, 5 Shirts, 2 Neckties, 1 Jacket, 1 Belt, Handkerchiefs, Socks etc. etc. etc.

This happens every time we go shopping.

My wife is the one who wants to shop.

But – I am the one who ends up “shopping”.

AFTERTHOUGHT  

Most husbands don’t like to take their wives for shopping.

I am different.

I love to take my wife out for shopping.

But – my wife doesn’t like to come for shopping with me.

In fact – she dreads going out shopping with me.

I wonder why…? 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.


Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.