Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Six Secrets of a Healthy Marriage

From my Archives here is something I once wrote for the Marriagewise Blog

6 Secrets of a Healthy Marriage

http://marriage-wise.com/blog/6-secrets-of-a-healthy-marriage

This is a guest post written by my friend Mr. Vikramji. You can read about all his accomplishments at the end of this article. I am an admirer of his straight to the point style of writing and he was one of the first supporters of this blog and MarriageWise project. One of his latest articles has also motivated me to quit smoking so I have a lot to thank him for.

Here are six ways that you can keep your marriage healthy according to Vikram Karve :-

1. There is no place for secrets between husband and wife. Trust is the bedrock of marriage. Unconditional love is born from total trust and leads to marital bliss. Even a small seed of mistrust can germinate into a huge tree of distrust and cause marital discord. Trust deficit can eventually ruin your marriage relationship.

2. There is place for only two persons in a marriage. Do not allow relatives, friends to transgress into your unique marital space.

3. There is no place for “social graces” or fake emotions in a marriage. Within your marriage, express your emotions frankly and freely. If you do not like something, say so. Your spouse is your closet friend and confidante. Mutual behaviour between husband and wife must be genuine, full of no-holds-barred candour, and fully transparent. You must bare yourself totally before your spouse. You must have unrestrained passion in your marriage. Leave the social graces, soft-spoken politeness and contrived geniality bit when dealing with friends, relatives and colleagues.

4. Your marriage takes priority over parenting. Do your duty towards your children, but not at the cost of your married life. Remember, you are only a trustee towards your children but a lifelong partner to your spouse.

5. Ensure both togetherness and space in the marriage. To do this, both husband and wife must make a list of things they like doing. Activities that match, things you both like, do together. The items that do not match do separately.

6. Last but not the least; get a pet, preferably a pet dog, immediately after your honeymoon, especially if you have an arranged marriage. Pet parenting will cement and bond your marriage, and prepare you for parenting when your human children arrive.

Wish you a long married life.

And if you want to quit smoking (or want your spouse to) click the link below see how simple it is

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/01/how-to-quit-smoking-forever-three-stage.html

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this post?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

TO HELL WITH SOCIAL GRACES TABLE MANNERS AND ETIQUETTE

ETIQUETTE and SOCIAL GRACES

TO HELL WITH SOCIAL GRACES TABLE MANNERS and ETIQUETTE

A Mulla Nasrudin Story

VIKRAM KARVE

On every occasion when we invite guests to dine with us, before the guests arrive, my wife gives me a moral lecture on social graces and table manners, especially on how I must talk less, let the guests eat first, take small helpings, etiquette social graces…blah…blah…blah…basically on how I should “look after” the guests and not enjoy my own meal and I almost end up starving myself and feeling miserable.

One evening, I turned the tables on her.

When we sat for dinner, I told the esteemed guests and my fellow diners this delightful Mulla Nasrudin story – and then I went ahead and enjoyed my meal to my heart’s content.

Once a renowned philosopher was traveling through the wise Mulla Nasrudin’s village and he asked Mulla Nasrudin if he knew of any good place to eat.

Nasrudin suggested an eatery and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited Mulla Nasrudin to join him for the meal.

Much obliged, Mulla Nasrudin accompanied the scholar to the restaurant, where they asked the waiter about the special dish of the day.

“Fish! Fresh Fried Fish!” replied the waiter.

“Bring us two,” Mulla Nasrudin ordered.

A few minutes later, the waiter brought out a large platter with two fried fish on it, one large fried fish and one small fried fish which was much smaller than the larger one.

Without hesitating, Mulla Nasrudin took the larger of the fish and put in on his own plate.

The scholar, giving Nasrudin a look of intense disbelief, proceeded to tell him that what he had just done was not only blatantly selfish, but that it violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical systems and started to deliver a moral lecture and pontificated on the subject of etiquette for a long time.

Mulla Nasrudin calmly listened to the philosopher’s long winded extempore moral lecture patiently and when the scholar had finally exhausted his speech, Nasrudin asked the visitor, “Well, Sir, please tell me, what would you have done?”

“I being a conscientious and cultured human being would have taken the smaller fish for myself,” pontificated the scholar taking a high moral ground.

“Good. Here you are,” Mulla Nasrudin said, and placed the smaller fish on the scholar’s plate.

Moral of the Story

Remember, when you are hungry and delicious food is put in front of you, to Hell with Social Graces, Table Manners and Etiquette. Just dig in and bash on regardless.

Happy Eating !

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this story?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

SEA DOG - Definition

This is how an officer once described his ship’s Bosun (Boatswain)

Never drunk on duty - never sober on liberty

Now that's a really good definition of a Sea Dog of yesteryear

OLQ (Officer Like Qualities)

This happened sometime in the late 1970s.

My boss (a Commander) complained about me to the Captain: “Conceited bugger, he behaves as if he is an Admiral although he is just a piddly Lieutenant.”

The Captain looked at me and then looked at my boss and said: “I’d rather have a Lieutenant who behaves as if he were an Admiral rather than have a Commander who behaves worse than a bloody Petty Officer.”

HOW TO AVOID THE DISEASE TO PLEASE

When you say YES to others

make sure you are not saying NO to yourself

A TIP ON CREATIVE WRITING

“When something can be read without effort,

great effort has gone into its writing”

Enrique Jardiel Poncela

FRIDAY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY - a nobody and a somebody

It is better to be a nobody who accomplishes something

rather than a somebody who accomplishes nothing

TELL SHOW INVOLVE - On The Job Training

Why ON THE JOB Training is most effective

“Tell me, and I’ll forget.

Show me, and I may not remember.

Involve me, and I’ll understand.”

Native American Saying

Thursday, March 29, 2012

ARE WE HEADING FOR ANOTHER HIMALAYAN BLUNDER

ARE WE HEADING FOR ANOTHER HIMALAYAN BLUNDER

Musings

VIKRAM KARVE

This morning while browsing through my bookcase I chanced upon one of my favourite military autobiographies – HIMALAYAN BLUNDER by Brig JP Dalvi. The television was on, my favourite news channel was blaring away, and as I started reading Himalayan Blunder, leafing through the pages of the book, I was filled with a sense of déjà vu. The events unfolding before my eyes, on TV News Channels, and the events chronicled in the book – the coincidence was startling. And as I read on further, drawing parallels between what was written in the book and the intriguing happenings hogging the headlines in newspapers and dominating the TV news-channels 24/7 for the last few days, I wondered to myself: “Are we heading for another Himalayan Blunder?” Is history going to repeat itself after 50 years?

I have heard a saying: THOSE WHO DO NOT LEARN FROM HISTORY ARE CONDEMNED TO REPEAT IT. That is why I feel that Himalayan Blunder is a must read for the powers that be – political, civil and military. I am sure most of them must have read Himalayan Blunder, but even then, it would be worthwhile to read the book carefully once again to draw parallels between what happened in 1962 and what is happening now and learn lessons so that similar mistakes are not repeated again and we do not have another “Himalayan Blunder” in the making.

Himalayan Blunder is a fascinating war memoir of the 1962 Conflict between India and China in which India suffered a humiliating defeat. Brigadier Dalvi was the Commander of the Indian Army’s 7^th Infantry Brigade which was annihilated by the Chinese Army. I feel that it always better to read history written by those who actually lived it rather than those who recorded it merely by academic research since first person accounts have an air of authenticity about them which lends them credibility. I have read four first-hand accounts of the 1962 War [ The Untold Story By BM Kaul, Himalayan Blunder by JP Dalvi, The Unfought War of 1962 By JR Saigal and The Fall of Towang By Niranjan Prasad] and, out of all these, I found Dalvi’s Himalayan Blunder the most illuminating and enthralling, as well as most soul-searching and analytic. In my opinion, Himalayan Blunder is a military masterpiece, arguably the best book by an Indian military author.

Himalayan Blunder tells you of the debacle that happened when ill-equipped, unprepared, confused and demoralized soldiers were rushed into battle against a strong adversary in an ad hoc manner because military decisions were influenced more by political prophecy rather than military strategy.

Dalvi tells his story with remarkable wit and exceptional candour. His candid storytelling style captivates you and once you start reading you get so engrossed that the book becomes unputdownable. There is no military jargon or gobbledygook. Dalvi writes straight from the heart and that is why this book will not only educate you but also will move you emotionally, strike a chord and get you thinking. From the way he writes it is evident that besides being a soldier, the author was a thinker and a scholar, extremely well-read and well-informed, and possessed a witty sense of humour, and has interspersed his book with anecdotes, quotes and similes. Sample this – he writes that a Corps Commander was sacked because “he refused to be a dog in obedience and a lion in action”.

Why did India suffer such a crushing defeat in the 1962 war with China? It seems to be the same story we are witnessing now – the civil-military divide, the lack of appreciation of ground realities by the Delhi-Centric powers that be and the trust deficit between various stakeholders.

Books like the Himalayan Blunder will make us aware of our mistakes of the past so that we don’t repeat them. In such matters, let history not repeat itself. That is why we cannot to afford to ignore the lessons of history - if we do so it will be to our own peril.

I am going to read HIMALAYAN BLUNDER once again. Why don’t you too?

VIKRAM KARVE

HOW TO CHOOSE A FRIEND

HOW TO CHOOSE A FRIEND

BENEFICIAL FRIENDSHIP AND HARMFUL FRIENDSHIP

A Philosophical Approach to Life

VIKRAM KARVE

I invest in books.

Just like some other investments, where one invests and forgets about it for years, sometimes I buy a book and may not read it for years.

Whenever I buy a book, I always write the date and place of purchase.

This morning while I was cleaning my bookcase, I came across a book titled A Source Book in Chinese Philosophy which I had picked up on 26 Jan 2003 at the annual Strand Book Fair at Churchgate Mumbai. I opened a random page and here is the gem of ancient wisdom that I read the following words about types of Friendship:

Confucius said:

There are three kinds of Friendship which are Beneficial and three kinds of Friendship which are Harmful.

BENEFICIAL FRIENDSHIPS

Friendship with the Upright,

Friendship with the Truthful, and

Friendship with the well-informed

is BENEFICIAL

HARMFUL FRIENDSHIPS

Friendship with those who flatter,

Friendship with those who are meek and so weak that they compromise with their principles, and

Friendship with those who talk cleverly

is HARMFUL

So, dear reader, while selecting who to befriend, bear in mind the above analect of Confucius, invest in beneficial friendships and make good friends. and avoid friendship with those who can cause you harm.

Well, I always believe that it is best to have a philosophical approach to life. So I am going to read this book of ancient wisdom, and, from time to time, I will share with you some gems of ancient wisdom with you in my blog.

VIKRAM KARVE

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Six Secrets of a Healthy Marriage

From my Archives here is something I once wrote for the Marriagewise Blog

6 Secrets of a Healthy Marriage

TO HELL WITH SOCIAL GRACES TABLE MANNERS AND ETIQUETTE

ETIQUETTE and SOCIAL GRACES

SEA DOG - Definition

OLQ (Officer Like Qualities)

HOW TO AVOID THE DISEASE TO PLEASE

A TIP ON CREATIVE WRITING

FRIDAY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY - a nobody and a somebody

TELL SHOW INVOLVE - On The Job Training

Thursday, March 29, 2012

ARE WE HEADING FOR ANOTHER HIMALAYAN BLUNDER

HOW TO CHOOSE A FRIEND

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