ARE YOU TRUSTWORTHY
TRUST DEFICIT and RELATIONSHIPS
Musings
By
VIKRAM KARVE
I trust people.
Depending on the way you look at it, one of my chief virtues (or shortcomings) is that I trust people.
That is why it is easy for anyone to take me for a ride, and make an “April Fool” of me, as so many have done.
I will tell you about some hilarious episodes right here in my blog later.
Yes, I have a trusting nature.
That’s why I did not try my hand at business or take up a profession where one has to put on a mask of pretence, hide things, indulge in mendacity and be Machiavellian to succeed.
In the navy of yesteryear, we trusted each other – yes, officers of the “old-mould” valued trust.
In fact, mutual trust was the main factor on which the navy system worked.
It has been my experience that trust is the key ingredient in any relationship, personal or professional.
It is always best to associate with trustworthy individuals.
It is even more important to have trustworthy friends and partners, particularly in a relationships like marriage and even business.
How do you find out whether a person is trustworthy?
Earlier you had to find this out the hard way, by experimenting with a relationship and undergoing some real-life experiences, trials and tribulations. Some people even employed detectives and private investigation agencies to carry out background checks.
Nowadays, there is an easy way to find out, prima facie, whether an individual is trustworthy or not.
In today’s information technology age, everyone has a cyber identity.
So all you have to do is to see the person’s profile on Facebook or any other social networking site like LinkedIn, Google, Blogger, Gravatar, Twitter, Yahoo etc and you can find out the extent of genuineness in the individual’s cyber identity.
Is the person using her actual name or is she hiding behind a pseudonym or anonymous “handle” or fake identity?
I do not trust a person who blogs anonymously or uses a fake identity or fancy sounding “handle” on social networks, Facebook, Twitter, Google etc.
The first question that comes to my mind is that why is that person afraid to use his or her own name?
What have they to hide?
The need to hide something is the first sign of an untrustworthy person.
Has the person uploaded her actual photographs or is she hiding behind confusing “avatars”?
How much information about herself has the person revealed in her profile?
Has the person unhesitatingly given her complete details – her contact details, her education and work experience, details of her family, friends, timeline of her life – a truly trustworthy person has nothing to hide.
Yes, a truly trustworthy person will be totally honest and transparent.
On the other hand, an untrustworthy person will try to hide behind a mask of anonymity or, worse still, masquerade behind fake identities.
Yes, you have to take just one look at a profile and you can get an idea about how trustworthy a person is.
After that, it is for you to decide whether to have a relationship with that person or not, whether to befriend that person in the real world and in cyber space as well.
Yes, in today’s world you have to careful about virtual friendships in cyberspace, for many of these social network friendships have the likelihood of culminating into real world relationships.
Remember, it is trust that makes a relationship fulfilling and rewarding.
On the other hand, trust deficit can cause fissures in a relationship.
These trust deficit fissures have a terrible snowballing effect and lead to mistrust which ultimately destroys the relationship.
Before I end, I will give you one task as “homework”.
Is your cyber-identity the same as your true real-life identity?
Have a look at your own Facebook Profile, your Twitter, Google and LinkedIn profiles, your blog identity, your avatars and pictures on the internet, and compare them with your real self.
Now tell us: How “trustworthy” are you?
I eagerly await your answer.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
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About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com
Twitter: @vikramkarve
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com
Twitter: @vikramkarve
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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