DON’T YOU
REMEMBER…?
Fiction Short Story
A Spoof
By
VIKRAM
KARVE
“What are you doing here…?” the man says to
the woman standing above him.
“This is my house…” the woman says.
“Oh My God…!!! How did I get here…?” the man
exclaims.
“Don’t you remember…?” the woman says.
The man recognizes the woman – his wife has
nicknamed the woman “Plain Jane” –
because – that’s how she looks – “PLAIN”.
He has seen the “middle-aged” woman many
times during his walks on the walking track – and – on a number of occasions in
the shopping complex of his residential township.
Like it happens in large “gated community”
townships – he knows that the woman lives in the same residential complex – but
– he does not know where exactly she lives – nor does he know her name.
In the “highfalutin”
residential society where the man lives – one does not talk to “strangers” – and
– even with neighbours – it is a “hail
fellow well met” type of relationship – and sometimes – even a polite smile
of greeting is met with a stern glare or a grim frown.
So – all he knows about the woman is that she
lives in the same residential complex.
Then man is in a confused state – lying in a
strange bed – all covered up with blankets – he feels terrible – his head aches
– his vision is hazy – and his tongue feels dry.
The excruciating effects of the “excesses” of
the previous night have still not subsided – and – the man has a terrible
hangover.
“How did I get here…?” the man asks the
woman.
“Don’t you remember…?” she says.
“No – I don’t remember anything…” the man says.
“Well – I was watching TV – and I heard some
noise at the entrance door – so – I opened the door – and I saw that you were
trying open the door with your key…”
“Oh My God…”
“Well – you were in quite a “good” mood – in “high”
spirits – so – I let you in…”
“Oh My God…!!! Was I drunk…?”
“Well – you were certainly feeling pretty
“nice”…”
“But – how did I come here – to your house…?”
“Don’t you remember…?”
“No – I don’t remember anything…”
“But surely – you must remember something
about last night…”
“All I remember is – that – in the evening – I
dropped my wife at the airport – then – I drove down to my club for a couple of
drinks and dinner – and – the last thing I remember is that I was drinking in
the club bar…”
“Oh – you must have had a “blackout”…”
“Blackout…?”
“Yes – “alcoholic blackout” – temporary
amnesia – that’s why you don’t remember what you did…”
“But – how did I come here – to your house…?”
“Where do you live…?”
“In “XXX” Township – C Building – on the 9th
Floor – Apartment “C 901”…”
“At least you have come to right building –
this is Apartment No. “C 601” – exactly three floors below your apartment…”
“Oh…”
“You must have pressed the wrong button – or
– the lift may have stopped on this floor – and you got out and walked straight
towards what you thought is your apartment…”
“I am very sorry – please don’t report me for
trespassing. I will be in big trouble…”
“Why should I report you…? And – don’t be
sorry – in fact – I am so happy you came here…”
“How can you be happy…? I barged into your
house in a drunken state…”
“Yes – you were pretty “high”…”
“I was drunk – I must have been terrible. I
am sorry if I behaved rudely…”
“Rudely…? Not at all…!!! On the contrary –
you were so loving and affectionate…”
“Loving…? Affectionate…?”
“Yes – you were very amusing – we really had
a lot of fun…”
“Fun…?”
“Oh yes – you were so charming – it was a
wonderful night – we really had a “good time”…”
“Good time…?”
“Yes – I really had a “good time” with you. I
feel so lonely – living all alone – the nights are especially miserable – but
last night was wonderful – all because of you…”
“Because of me…?”
“Yes –
we had a marvelous time together – it was a most memorable night – those “intimate”
moments we had together – I will cherish forever…”
“Intimate moments…?”
“Don’t you remember – all the things you said
to me – you did to me…?”
“What did I do to you…?”
“You were so romantic – so passionate. Don’t
you remember…?”
“Romantic…!!! Passionate…?”
“The way you kissed me – no one has ever
kissed me like that before – in fact – no one has ever kissed me before – it was
my first kiss…”
“Oh My God…!!! I kissed you…?”
“Don’t you remember…?”
“No…”
“But – I will always remember…” the woman
says lovingly.
Inside his head – the man’s brain begins to
spin – like a vortex.
He does not remember anything.
He thinks to himself: “Is it really possible –
that he kissed this “Plain Jane” – this most ordinary looking woman…?”
The man looks at the woman – she looks so unappealing
– so uninviting – how could he have kissed her…?
There is no one else around – so – it seems
that this “middle-aged” woman lives alone – all by herself.
Maybe she is a “spinster” – living a lonesome
and forlorn life – and her loneliness is making her imagination run wild with
erotic thoughts.
The man looks at the woman.
She is looking at him – straight into his
eyes – she has a hungry look.
The man feels uneasy in her presence – he wants
to get out of this place fast – and go home.
Though his head is still dizzy due to his
terrible hangover – and he is feeling a bit giddy – the man tries to get up from
under the blanket – and suddenly – he realizes that – he is naked under the
blanket – stark naked.
In a panic-stricken voice – the man asks the
woman:
“Where are my clothes…?”
“In the washing machine…” the woman says, “but
don’t worry – they are almost done – and – I will have all your clothes dried quickly
in the drier…”
“But – who took off my clothes…” the man says,
in panic.
The woman looks at the man – and she says to
him:
“Don’t you remember…? Do you really not remember
what happened last night…?”
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
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