Friday, June 16, 2017

Arranged Marriage Woes – Do You “Like” Your Husband/Wife – Does your Husband/Wife “Like” You…?

Do You “Like” Your Husband/Wife...? 

Does your Husband/Wife “Like” You…?

(or – Does Your Husband “Like” You ?)
Incoherent Gobbledygook of a Senile Veteran on Mystery of Marriage
A Spoof


In a “Love Marriage” – this question is irrelevant. 

Yes – in a “Love Marriage” – it doesn’t make any sense to ask the question “Does your spouse like you…?” – because – it is irrelevant.

In a “Love Marriage” – the husband and wife marry because they are in “love”.

And – the very fact that they are in “love” – means that the husband and wife “like” each other.

If you “love” someone – you obviously “like” that person  – “ipso facto” – because – if you do not “like” a person – how can you fall in “love” with that person...? 

And – conversely  how can you “love” a person you do not “like”...?

So – in a “Love Marriage” – it is obvious that the husband and wife like each other.

However – in “Arranged Marriages” – the situation is entirely different.

When I was in the Navy – I saw many marriages where the wife did not seem to “like” the husband – or vice versa.

Of course – these were all “arranged marriages”.

Why go further – even in my case – after more than 35 years of marriage – I still cannot accurately fathom whether my wife actually “likes” me or not – though – over the years – I seem to have developed a liking for her.

There can be countless reasons why your spouse may not “like” you.

Every husband and wife may have their own unique reasons why they do not like their partner.

However – recently – I heard a phrase which encompasses and encapsulates all these myriad reasons in a nutshell – “compatibility issues”.


Let me tell you how I heard of this term – “compatibility issues”.

A few years ago – I attended the wedding of a “Techie” Boy – and “IT Nerd”.

Sometime ago – while strolling on Main Street – I suddenly ran into him.

The “Techie” Boy was with his wife.

He introduced me to his wife.

His wife gave me a courteous smile – and she said that she was glad to meet me.

The “Techie” Boy’s Wife behaved with me as if she did not know me – and gave the impression as if this was the first time she was seeing me.

I was surprised – since I had attended their marriage just a few years ago. 

And generally – no one forgets my face – thanks to my handsome beard – and my rather “abrasive personality”.

“Don’t you remember me...?” I asked the young lady.

“No – I don’t think we have met before...” she said to me.

“Well – I attended your wedding reception…” I said.

“How is that possible...? We had a very private marriage ceremony…” she said.

I noticed a strange expression on my “Techie” friend’s face – as if he was non-verbally telling me not to ask these questions – so I did not pursue the conversation further. 

Instead – to change the topic – I suggested that we have some rolls, sandwiches and cold coffee at one of my favourite places just opposite the road.

Once inside the eatery – when the “Techie” Boy’s Wife was seated – and “Techie” Boy and Me – we were standing near the self-service counter – the young “Techie” Boy told me that this lady was his Second Wife – he had divorced his first wife (whose wedding I had attended 3 years ago) – and he got remarried to this woman (his second wife) just one month ago.

“Oh – I am sorry – but – what happened – why did your first marriage breakup so quickly – you got divorced within 3 years of your wedding…?” I asked.

“Actually – we got divorced within 2 years – but the marriage had broken down much earlier – within a year of our wedding…” he said.

“What happened…? What was the reason for your divorce…?” I asked.

“Compatibility Issues...” he said.

What a simple all-encompassing expression for breakup of a marital relationship – “compatibility issues”.

Call it a coincidence – but the very next morning – I read on ‘Page 3’ of a tabloid – that a small-time celebrity had said – that her marriage broke up due to “compatibility issues”.

I laughed to myself. 

If “compatibility” had been an “issue” – my wife and I would have been divorced at least a thousand times by now.

But – jokes apart – I seem to have digressed from the moot question:

Does your spouse “like” you…?

As I have said – there can be umpteen reasons why a wife does not like her husband – or vice versa – there may be even more reasons why a husband does like his wife.


In literature – many stories, novels and plays have been written on this theme.

One notable story I remember on this theme of a wife who does not like her husband is THE WREATH by Luigi Pirandello

I read the English translation of this story in the short fiction anthology GREAT SHORT STORIES OF THE WORLD published by Reader’s Digest.

In this story – a young woman who is 22 years old is married to a 40 year old man – the husband is 18 years older than the wife.

The youthful wife does not like her middle-aged husband.

And – why does she not “like” her husband – who is a kindhearted doctor…?

When the woman was an 18 year old girl – she had fallen in love with a boy.

But – sadly – the boy suddenly died due to typhus.

The same doctor had been called to treat the boy and was by the boy’s bedside when he died.

Stricken by grief – the girl almost lost her mind – and became a recluse.

She refused to get married – and declined many good matrimonial offers.

Sometime later – the doctor proposed to her – and – surprisingly – the girl accepted.

Everyone else was surprised too – since the doctor was 18 years older than the girl.

Soon – the doctor realized that his young wife did not like him.

The doctor loved his young wife – but she did not like him.

In her heart – she still yearned for her first love – the young boy – her dead lover – and she secretly placed a wreath at his grave on every anniversary of his death.

One day – the doctor accidentally discovered this.

What happened next – for that – you will have to read the story.

But – the moot question is:

Why did the young wife not “like” her husband…?

Was it because of the age difference – because her husband was much older than her…?

Was it because of her love affair with the boy – her first lover – who she was unable to forget – although he was dead…?

Or – to use my newly learnt clichéd phrase – was it due to “compatibility issues”…?


Dear Friends:

If you are “enduring” an arranged marriage – and  if you feel that your spouse does not “like” you – just put it down to “compatibility issues” 

And – once you have consoled yourself that your spouse does not like you because of “compatibility issues”  do not bother too much about it – and get on with your happy married life…

If you want to enjoy your married life  don’t delve too much...

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

1. This is a spoof, light-hearted fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

I wrote this article 2 years ago in 2015 and I have posted it online a number of times earlier in my various blogs. 
Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal:

No comments: