Sunday, June 19, 2011

CREATING PERSONAL MUSEUMS

CREATING PERSONAL MUSEUMS
By
VIKRAM KARVE

Every time I relocate I am amazed at the things we have accumulated.

We try to get rid of everything, except books. I don't know why but I love to hoard books. 

Look around you – don’t you see people accumulating and hoarding things they never use, maybe anything, like money, possessions, paintings, books, clothes, shoes, artefacts, stamps, coins, just about anything, and they take delight in looking at their “museums” once in a while and then putting them away once again. 

Well, I cannot resist telling them, and you, and me, this Mulla Nasrudin Story.
 
Mulla Nasrudin relocated to a new town.

In this town there was a tradition.

People saved their money and with their money they purchased gold coins.

When they had enough gold coins to fill up an earthenware pot, they bought an earthenware pot,filled it with gold coins, sealed it and then theyburied the pot full of gold in their gardens in a secret spot.

Once a year, they dug up the vessels from their secret hidden spots, opened the seals, checked their gold coins, resealed the pots and then buried them again at another secret spot in their gardens.

When the Nasrudin learned about this practice, he found an earthenware pot, and in full public view, he filled the pot with stones, dug a hole in the centre of the road and started burying his pot full of stones.

“Nasrudin, that is not the proper way,” said the townsfolk, “You are supposed to fill the pot with gold, not stones.”

“Dear friends,” Nasrudin laughed, “as long as you are not going to spend it, what difference does it make if it is gold or stones...?”


VIKRAM KARVE

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

EPICTETUS - Art of Living

Art of Living made Simple
The Classic Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness: Epictetus
Book Review

By
VIKRAM KARVE

I have got a wonderful book in my bookcase.

It’s called The Art of Living: The Classic Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness, a new interpretation by Sharon Lebell, published by HarperCollins in 1994, ISBN 0-06-251346-X. 

This compact book encapsulates in a nutshell the salient teachings of Epictetus, the great Stoic philosopher. 

Whenever I buy a book I write my name, the date and place of purchase on the first page. I bought this book from one of my favorite bookstores Gangaram’s Bangalore on 18 August 1999.

Those were the glorious days, in the nineties, when I used to visit Bangalore very often. I ensured I stayed somewhere near MG Road, and spend the evenings strolling in the delightful area around MG Road and Brigade Road. A delightful meal of the scrumptious Kerala delicacies like Stew, Appams, Parotta and the Ghee Rice at Imperial on Residency Road, baked delights at Nilgiri, Rosogullas at KC Das and Book Browsing at Gangarams Book Bureau were an absolute must. It’s been eleven long years now, I cherish those memories and hope I get a chance to visit Bangalore soon and enjoy strolling, eating and browsing in my favourite places.


Now let’s have a look at a few gems from this witty and wise book which delves on two basic questions pertaining to the art of living :

How do I live a happy, meaningful, fulfilling life?

How can I be a good person?

"Approach life as a banquet," Epictetus advises.
Think of your life as if were a banquet where you would behave graciously. When dishes are passed to you, extend your hand and help yourself to a moderate portion. If a dish should pass you by, enjoy what is already on your plate. Or if a dish hasn’t been passed to you yet, patiently wait your turn… there is no need to yearn, envy, and grab. You will get your rightful portion when it is your time.


Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not in our control... and once you learn to distinguish between the two (what is in your control and what is not in your control) then inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.


Events don’t hurt us, only our attitude towards them does.
Don’t demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible.


Create your own merit.
Never depend on the admiration of others. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source. Remember, there is no such thing as vicarious merit.

These are a few gems from the book - every page radiates simple implementable wisdom.

Whereas society regards professional achievement, wealth, power, and fame as desirable and admirable, Epictetus views these as incidental and irrelevant to true happiness.

What matters most is what sort of life you are living... a life of virtue...a life celebrating and caretaking the present moment. 

Authentic happiness is always independent of external conditions…your happiness can be found within.

This captivating book has had a profound effect on me and my way of thinking and living and motivated me to delve into the life and works of Epictetus in more detail and it was heartening to see the congruence and harmony of the teachings of Epictetus with Eastern philosophical wisdom and precepts.


I am glad I bought this splendid book. It cost me only ninety five rupees. Go down to your neighborhood bookstore and browse through it. I am sure you will love to have a copy in your bookcase. I am sure you will enrich your inner self every time your read this delightful book.

Dear Reader, do get a copy of this book and tell me if you liked this breathtakingly simple philosophy of life which is so easy to implement in daily life.
Wishing you authentic happiness and good health.

VIKRAM KARVE 

Sunday, June 12, 2011

6 Secrets of a Healthy Marriage

From Marriagewise Blog

6 Secrets of a Healthy Marriage


http://marriage-wise.com/blog/6-secrets-of-a-healthy-marriage


This is a guest post written by my friend Mr. Vikramji. You can read about all his accomplishments at the end of this article. I am an admirer of his straight to the point style of writing and he was one of the first supporters of this blog and MarriageWise project. One of his latest articles has also motivated me to quit smoking so I have a lot to thank him for. Here are six ways that you can keep your marriage healthy according to Vikram Karve -
1. There is no place for secrets between husband and wife. Trust is the bedrock of marriage. Unconditional love is born from total trust and leads to marital bliss. Even a small seed of mistrust can germinate into a huge tree of distrust, cause marital discord and eventually ruin your marriage relationship.
2. There is place for only two persons in a marriage. Do not allow relatives, friends to transgress into your unique marital space.
3. There is no place for “social graces” or fake emotions in a marriage. Within your marriage, express your emotions frankly and freely. If you do not like something, say so. Your spouse is your closet friend and confidante. Mutual behaviour between husband and wife must be genuine, full of no-holds-barred candour, and fully transparent. You must bare yourself totally before your spouse. You must have unrestrained passion in your marriage. Leave the social graces, soft-spoken politeness and contrived geniality bit when dealing with friends, relatives and colleagues.
4. Your marriage takes priority over parenting. Do your duty towards your children, but not at the cost of your married life. Remember, you are only a trustee towards your children but a lifelong partner to your spouse.
5. Ensure both togetherness and space in the marriage. To do this, both husband and wife must make a list of things they like doing. Activities that match, things you both like, do together. The items that do not match do separately.
6. Last but not the least; get a pet, preferably a pet dog, immediately after your honeymoon, especially if you have an arranged marriage. Pet parenting will cement and bond your marriage, and prepare you for parenting when your human children arrive.

If you enjoyed reading this article, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.


About the Author
VIKRAM KARVE educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale, and Bishop’s School Pune, who was once a Naval Officer by profession, likes to describe himself as an Electronics and Communications Engineer by qualification, a Human Resource Leader and Trainer by occupation, a Teacher by vocation, a Creative Writer by inclination and a Foodie by passion. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging and published two books: a foodie book APPETITE FOR A STROLL in 2008 andCOCKTAIL a collection of short stories in 2011. Vikram lives in Pune India and welcomes your feedback by email at vikramkarve@gmail.com. Do read his blogs at http://karvediat.blogspot.com and http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
COCKTAIL
APPETITE FOR A STROLL

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Same Medicine Different Effect


Here is one of my favourite Sufi teaching stories, ancient wisdom, which I loved to narrate during my stint as an HR Manager:

A cobbler who suffered from severe stomach pains rushed to see the local town doctor. The doctor checked him thoroughly but could not diagnoze what was wrong with the man and hence was confused as to what medicine to give him.

The cobbler asked anxiously, "Doctor, I am in terrible pain, please give me some medicine."

"I cannot diagnoze the root cause of your stomach pains and hence I do not know what medicine to give you," replied the doctor.

Soon the cobbler was writhing in unbearable agony and to the doctor it looked like the cobbler was going to die.

With a heavy heart the cobbler said, "Well, if there is nothing left to do, then I have just one final wish. I would like you to take a large cooking pot, fill it with half a kilo of rajma and a litre of vinegar, and cook the whole lot. I am sure this will cure me." 

The doctor shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't think much of this idea, but if you think it will work, we will go ahead and try it." So the doctor cooked the rajma in vinegar as per the recipe and gave it to the cobbler who ate the whole bowl.

The whole night the doctor waited for a knock on his door informing him that the cobbler's condition had turned serious or even died.

However, the next morning to the doctor's amazement the cobbler was hale and hearty and cured of his illness. 

The doctor wrote in his journal, "Today a cobbler came to me with severe stomach pains. I could not diagnoze the reason and and I did not know what medicine to give him, but half a kilo of rajma cooked in a litre of vinegar cured the man completely."

A few days later, the doctor was called to help a tailor who was extremely ill with severe stomach pains , identical to the cobbler's symptoms. Once again, the doctor could not diagnoze the reason so he disappointedly admitted to the tailor that there was no cure available. The tailor cried out in pain, "Please doctor, can't you think of any other possible cure?"

The doctor thought a minute and then said, "Recently a cobbler came to me with similar stomach pains. He was cured by half a kilo of rajma boiled in a litre of vinegar."

"That sounds like a strange remedy, but I will give it a try," replied the tailor. The tailor ate the same concoction of rajma cooked in vinegar, but unfortunately, he died the next day.

That day the doctor wrote in his journal, "Yesterday a tailor came to me with severe stomach pains and I could not diagnoze the reason, so I gave him rajma cooked in vinegar but he died today morning. What is good for cobblers is not good for tailors!"

In HR situations too, the same medicine sometimes yields different results, depending on the situation and persons involved.

DOES YOUR HUSBAND HAVE A GLAD EYE

LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE MANAGEMENT
HOW TO STOP YOUR LONG DISTANCE HUSBAND FROM STRAYING
By
VIKRAM KARVE

This is written from a wife’s point of view, but equally applicable vice versa too ...
 
Suppose you are in a long distance marriage. 

And you are worried that your darling “married bachelor” husband may get lonely, succumb to temptation, maybe get attracted to a forlorn colleague, find fulfilment with a work mate, his “office wife”, and develop a tendency to stray without you around to keep an eagle eye on him, a budding office romance could blossom into a full blown affair.

Tell me, do you sometimes wonder what your beloved husband is up to while you are far far away, out of sight and out of mind...?

Do you know where he is, who he is with, or how he is spending his time...?

Is he sitting at home like a good boy watching TV in the evenings or is he wining and dining his lady-love, getting cosy and romantic with her...?

You know he’s got the "glad eye" and you’ve heard rumours that he’s spending "quality time" time with an attractive colleague.

Infatuation with co-workers is not uncommon, especially in a long distance marriage, and spending quality time with a person he feels attracted to will only tempt him to get lovey-dovey and stray, especially when he is feeling lonely and deprived of physical contact.

Remember: Absence makes the heart wander 

Yes, absence does make the heart fonder - for someone else.

Now how do you nip it in the bud and prevent your “married bachelor” husband from having that affair...?

A Simple Solution 

Prevention is better than Cure. 
Try this at your own risk and tell us if it works.

I’ll give you a simple solution – gift him a dog.

Yes, gift your darling husband a nice cute little puppy dog – preferably of a large ferocious looking super active high energy possessive protective breed like a Doberman or a Hound.

Now you can relax, rest assured, because the dog will keep your husband so busy, and as the dog grows up under your husband’s loving care, the dog will shower him with so much love and loyalty, that he just won’t have the time or the energy or the inclination to stray. Yes, pet parenting is a physically demanding, an emotionally strenuous and time consuming activity.

Every time he looks at his adorable pet, he will be reminded of you and your precious gift. And his ferocious dog will also keep his "lady loves" at bay for who wants to romance a man with a ferocious dog.

There is only one danger - just hope for the best that your darling husband doesn't run into “a lady with a dog”...!!!


VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2011
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

If you don't like the idea of gifting your husband a dog then why don't you gift him a COCKTAIL?
I am sure you he will get so engrossed reading the stories in COCKTAIL that he won't have time to give the glad eye and stray - and you too must 
try out this delicious, heady and exciting COCKTAIL. 
To know more please click the links below:

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures(2008) and is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 14 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm

Email: vikramkarve@sify.com          

Fiction Short Stories Book

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
                                                                        


EPIPHANY ONE EVENING IN PUNE

EPIPHANY ONE EVENING IN PUNE
Fiction Short Story  
By  
VIKRAM KARVE   
 
From my Creative Writing Archives:
One of my earliest fiction short stories ... written sometime in the 1990s ... quite an amateurish story ... nice to read though ... maybe for nostalgia sake ...
 
 
Every evening at precisely 6 PM Shalini Joshi would leave her bank, sit in her car, drive out of the parking lot, turn left on Tilak Road, and drive towards her house in Deccan Gymkhana.    
 
Today she turned right and drove in the opposite direction.
 
Now that was surprising. For Shalini Joshi was a stickler for routine. And that was the reason for her success. 
 
At thirty-five, Shalini Joshi was a thoroughly successful woman. She was the branch manager with independent charge of a prestigious branch of a leading bank, her promotion was due any moment and there was no stopping her from reaching the top.
 
Her husband, Sudhir, was a top notch doctor with an excellent practice.
 
Everything had worked as per her plan. 
 
Today Shalini had everything she wanted – a palatial flat in the posh locality of Aundh, a farm-house in the outskirts of Pune, two lovely children (a boy and a girl), an ideal husband, a doting mother-in-law and all the status and prosperity she could ever hope for.
 
Even her Sundays were planned – a family outing to their farm-house followed by an evening at the club rubbing shoulders with the crème de la crème of society. 
 
And she meticulously planned her annual vacation – a sojourn at a hill station or a beach resort or globetrotting to some exotic location.
 
Shalini's life was a marvelous success – from the outside.  
 
Shalini parked her car on East Street and walked quickly to the apartment block, looking around furtively like someone with a guilty conscience.
 
She re-checked the address and rang the doorbell.
 
Ajay opened the door.
 
Shalini felt a tremor of trepidation.
 
She wondered if she was doing the right thing.  
 
“I normally don’t see anyone at my residence,” Ajay said beckoning her to sit down. 
 
He closed the door, turned towards her, looked directly into her eyes, and said, “But I can always make an exception in your case.”  
 
“I want this visit kept absolutely confidential,” Shalini said anxiously, beads of perspiration showing on her forehead, “and please Ajay, whatever we discuss, please don’t tell anyone.”  
 
“Of course, it’s strictly between you and me,” Ajay said. “I’ll make us some coffee. Then we can talk.”  
 
Shalini followed him into the kitchen, observing with admiration its neatness and organization. 
 
This was the home of a self-sufficient man. He hardly needed a wife.  
 
After they had settled down on the sofa, coffee cups in hand, Ajay said, “What is the matter Shalini...? Just get it off your chest.”  
 
“I want to divorce my husband,” Shalini said. 
 
She was surprised that her words had no effect on Ajay. 
 
His manner remained relaxed and nonchalant.  
 
He smiled and said, “I guessed so...”  
 
“You guessed...? How...? I’ve not told anyone. Not even my husband.”  
 
“That’s what people come to me for. It’s my job.” Ajay paused. 
 
“Tell me, Shalini. What’s the exact problem...? Is Sudhir having an affair or something...?”  
 
“No.”  
 
“You...?”  
 
“Don’t be silly,” shouted Shalini getting visibly angry. “How can you say such a ridiculous thing...?”  
 
“Calm down,” Ajay said. “Then what’s the reason for you wanting to divorce your husband...? There have to be some grounds.”  
 
“I can’t stand it any longer – living this life of pretence, fake and hypocrisy. Just to maintain a facade of conjugal conviviality. I feel suffocated. I just want to break free...!” 
 
Shalini wiped the tears from her eyes. She looked small, weak and vulnerable ... her composure totally shattered.  
 
Ajay was ashamed to find that, inwardly, he was glad to hear of her misfortune.
 
He wondered ... did he really love her that much...?  
 
Ajay checked his train of thoughts and said, “Shalini, listen to me carefully. I’m a lawyer. Yes, I do take up divorce cases. But I am the last resort. You need to see a marriage counselor first. I know a lady. Someone you can talk to, who can empathise with you.”       
 
“No, Ajay, I want to talk to you first,” Shalini pleaded. 
 
“Okay,” Ajay said. Tell me everything.”  
 
She talked.
 
He listened.
 
Ajay was easy to talk to and soon Shalini began experiencing a sense of release and a strange feeling of elation. In these moods there was so much to say ... her words simply came tumbling out.  
 
When she had finished, Ajay said, “Your problem is that you don’t have any problems. And having no problems is your big problem...!”  
 
“If you’re not going to take me seriously, I’m going. I came for your advice. And help. Not to hear sarcastic comments...” Shalini said bitterly. 
 
“Yes, i is indeed high time you go,” Ajay said gesturing towards the wall clock. “It’s almost 8 o’clock. Your husband may be wondering what you are up to...”  
 
“He comes home after ten. His consulting hours are till 9.30 and then he visits his patients in hospital.” Shalini paused and said, “I’ll ring up my mother-in-law and tell her to put the children to sleep. She may be worried. I’m always home by 6.30.” 
 
Shalini made the phone call from her cell phone and told her mother-in-law that she was held up in an important meeting and would be home in half an hour.   
 
At that very moment, when Shalini was making the phone call, Dr. Sudhir Joshi was cruising down East Street after attending an emergency call at the other end of town.
 
His clinic was near Deccan Gymkhana and it was a long drive.
 
Dr. Joshi normally never left his clinic during consulting hours but then this had been a genuine emergency, an important patient and, not to forget, a nice fat fee. It had been worth it.
 
But now there would be a lot of patients waiting for him at the clinic. He would have to work late tonight.
 
Shalini would never mind his working late. She never did. It was the money, material comforts, standard of living that mattered.
 
Suddenly he saw a familiar yellow car – a rare colour – bright yellow – just like Shalini’s car.
 
He could not believe his eyes. Was it Shalini’s car...? It couldn’t be... Not here... and certainly not at this time.  
 
He stopped his car behind the bright yellow car and looked at the number plate. His fears were confirmed. Yes it was her car, no doubt about it, it was Shalini’s car.
 
Dr. Sudhir Joshi was wondering what his wife’s car was doing parked below an apartment block on East Street at 8 o’clock at night when he suddenly saw Shalini come hurriedly out of the gate, get into her car and drive away.
 
It was at this defining moment that Dr. Sudhir Joshi decided to pay a bit more attention to his wife Shalini.  
 

VIKRAM KARVE
 
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2011
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Do you like short fiction? I am sure you will like 27 stories in my recently published book COCKTAIL comprising twenty seven short stories about relationships. 
Do try out this delicious, heady and exciting COCKTAIL. 
To know more please click the links below:

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures(2008) and is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 14 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm

Email: vikramkarve@sify.com          

Fiction Short Stories Book

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.