Officers, Ladies and Gentlemen

ARE YOU A GENTLEMAN (or A LADY)...?

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

(Though written for the masculine gender GENTLEMAN – this article applies to the feminine gender LADY as well)

This morning – while tidying my bookcase and bookshelves and cleaning my books – I browsed through my old diaries which I have preserved with great care.

During my student days – and even later – during my working days – I always carried around a diary and jotted down anything I found interesting – anything I read or heard or saw that appealed to me.

From time to time – I will share with you in my blog some jottings from my “ancient” diaries.

DEFINITION OF A GENTLEMAN

Today – I will talk about the definition of the word “gentleman” – which I jotted down while attending a lecture during a leadership workshop in the year 1992.

But before we get to the definition, let us ponder a bit on the meaning of the word “gentleman”.

(As I said earlier – though written for the masculine gender GENTLEMAN – this article applies to the feminine gender LADY as well)

WHO IS A GENTLEMAN...?

If you look at the concept of “gentleman” in an holistic manner – a gentleman comprises two aspects:

1. Form

2. Substance

“FORM” ATTRIBUTES

Form refers to the external “image management” or “personality development” aspects – visible behaviour and outward appearance – traits like poise, grooming, manners, etiquette, dress, accent, diction, speech, smartness, courteousness, elegance, style, refinement, sophistication and polished behaviour.

In the Navy – or in the Army, Air Force, Military and Civil Services – an Officer is trained in these aspects which are called OLQ or “Officer Like Qualities” when he joins service at various Training Academies.

In the civilian world – there are Finishing Schools, Image Management Trainers and Personality Development Coaches – who help inculcate in people the “form” attributes of a Gentleman/Lady.

But – FORM alone does not make a Gentleman.

A true GENTLEMAN/LADY must have both FORM and SUBSTANCE.

FORM is important – but it is the SUBSTANCE which establishes the true worth of a man/woman.

A man/woman possessing ONLY FORM but NO SUBSTANCE is a phoney Gentleman/Lady 

Don’t you see many such fake charlatans masquerading as Gentlemen/Ladies...?

We saw what is meant by “FORM”.

Now – let us see what is meant by “SUBSTANCE”.

“SUBSTANCE” ATTRIBUTES

FORM consists of “external visible attributes”.

SUBSTANCE comprises “invisible internal virtues”.

Here is a definition which defines the substance attibutes of a gentleman.

A Gentleman is:

“An honest man – a man with a sense of duties and obligations of his position – whatever it may be – a man who tells the truth – a man who gives others their due – a man considerate to the weak – a man who has principles and stands by them – a man who is not elated by good fortune and not too depressed by bad luck – a man who is loyal – a man who can be trusted...”

The real virtues of a gentleman are inherent in the above definition.

Whether in Civil Services or Defence Services – an Officer is considered a Gentleman.

But – tell me – in the context of the definition above – how many officers truly possess all the attributes enunciated in the definition above...?

Image Management, Personality Development and Social Standing can give you “FORM”

But – it is your “SUBSTANCE” – which will make you a complete and genuine Gentleman/Lady.

If you look around you in urban society – you will find so many persons who look like Gentlemen/Ladies (as they exhibit the requisite “form”). 

But – when you look more closely – even at high ranking officers – and those way up on the social pecking order – you will discover two types:

1. Persons who are the Genuine Men/Women of “Substance” 

and 

2. Persons who are Masquerading as Gentlemen/Ladies

As one of our Navy Training Officers at the Naval Academy used to say: 

“We can train you to be Officers (by inculcating FORM – “external visible attributes”) 

but 

We can’t make you Gentlemen – that – you will have to do yourself (you will have to self-develop SUBSTANCE – “invisible internal virtues”)

You may be an Officer – but are you a Gentleman...? 

Image Management and Personality Development will give you FORM 

Image Management and Personality Development can make you an Officer

But – to be a Gentleman (or Lady) – in addition to external FORM – you must have Internal Character Attributes – to be – a “Man (or Woman) of SUBSTANCE...”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This blog post is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

This is a revised and abridged version of my lecture/article written by me 25 years ago in the year 1992 and posted by me online earlier a number of times including at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/11/gentleman-officer.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/07/can-image-management-make-you-gentleman.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/01/ladies-and-gentlemen-women-and-men-of.html  and  http://vikramkarve.typepad.com/blog/2012/11/image-management-cannot-make-you-a-gentleman.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/09/are-you-lady-are-you-gentleman.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/are-you-gentleman-or-lady.html etc

Gender Balance : If “She-Women” become “He-Women” – Will “He-Men” become “She-Men”...?

GENDER BALANCE – YIN-YANG EQUILIBRIUM 
If “She-Women” become “He-Women” – Will “He-Men” become “She-Men”...?

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

“She-Women” are increasingly becoming “He-Women”

but 

Are “He-Men” prepared to become “She-Men”...?

In modern urban India – at least in modern metropolitan cities of India – I am observing an amusing cultural metamorphosis taking place.

The thrust in professional education for women has done wonders – and opened up increasing opportunities for young women.

Almost all young urban women work – and – they take their careers seriously.

There are hardly any full-time housewives or “homemakers” these days. 

Women are achieving financial independence – and – women are no longer dependent on their “breadwinner” husbands. 

As women work shoulder-to-shoulder with men – modern women are developing masculine traits.

Yes – in order to achieve gender equality – especially at the workplace – women can no longer act in the quintessential delicate feminine manner of yesteryear India.

In order to succeed in their careers and to break the “glass ceiling” – women have to become more “masculine” in nature – and this transformation is visible in their personality.

“She-Women” are becoming “He-Women”.

However – a corresponding reverse transformation is not taking place among men.

Men are not developing “feminine” traits.

“He-Men” are not becoming “She-Men”. 

IS SOCIETY BECOMING INCREASINGLY “MASCULINE” IN NATURE...? 

Yes – “She-Women” are becoming “He-Women” (women are developing “masculine” traits)

But – “He-Men” are not becoming “She-Men” (men are not developing “feminine” traits) 

This is upsetting the delicate “Yin Yang Balance” (gender equilibrium) in society.

Earlier – we had “She-Women” and “He-Men”.

Now – we have “He-Women” and “He-Men”. 

Earlier we had one “SHE” and one “HE” (“SHE-women” and “HE-men” – perfect gender balance)

Now we have two “HE” and zero “SHE” (“HE-women” and “HE-men” – gender imbalance) 

This metamorphosis is disturbing the “gender equilibrium” in society.

At the macro-level – Society is becoming increasingly “masculine” in nature. 

At the micro-level – marriages are becoming increasingly “masculine” in nature (as also all man-woman relationships)

YIN-YANG IMBALANCE

You must have heard of Yin-Yang Balance.

A Woman is Yin.

A Man is Yang.

Yin is passive – oppressed and feminine.

Yang is active – bright and masculine.

“Male Toughness” is balanced by “Female Gentleness”.

Masculine Traits are balanced by Feminine Traits.

Thus – gender balance or gender equilibrium is maintained.

Yin-Yang Balance helps maintain Harmony.

Disturbing the delicately poised “gender equilibrium” may upset Yin-Yang Balance.

Upsetting the Yin-Yang Balance – will – in turn – cause gender related stress, tension, conflict and disharmony in society. 

We are already seeing increasing evidence of such disharmony – and its consequent ramifications – which include gender based crime – violence and abuse – and the rise in divorce rates, breakups and marital discord.

What is the solution...? 

GENDER EQUILIBRIUM EQUATION

Well – if you are a “mathematician” – or a “scientist”  – you will say: 

It is simple – just balance the “gender equilibrium” equation.

If increasing masculinization of women is balanced by corresponding feminization of men – gender balance will be restored – and the problem will be mitigated.

All you have to do is: 

Balance the increasing number of “he-women” by a corresponding number of “she-men”. 

Counterbalance every new “he-woman” by creating a “she-man”.

But – this is easier said than done.

In today’s urban scenario – owing to compulsions of the workplace – or as a consequence of cultural modernization in society – women are developing “masculine” traits.

Yes – “she-women” are increasingly becoming “he-women”.

Now – in order to achieve Yin-Yang Balance – and restore gender equilibrium:

Are modern men prepared to imbibe feminine traits...?

Are “He-Men” prepared to become “She-Men” – in order to counterbalance the effect of “She-Women” becoming “He-Women”...?

If this does not happen – Yin-Yang balance will be disturbed. 

Society will become increasingly “masculine” in nature.

The consequential ramifications of this “behavioural imbalance” will not augur well for societal harmony in general – and – it will  affect “gender harmony” in particular. 

This “masculization” of society will be visible at the macro-level – at workplaces, politics, business etc.

It will also have ramifications at the micro-level as well.

For example – with women increasingly acquiring “masculine” traits – there will be two “men” in a heterosexual marriage. 

Don’t you see this happening already...? 

Is this “masculization” of marital relationships the main reason for increasing disharmony in marriages...? 

Does this cause marital discord...?

Observe a few young urban couples around you – and you will understand what I mean. 

Is it good to have two “macho” individuals in a marriage...? 

Is it desirable to have only “macho” individuals in society...?

Is it to have only “macho” individuals in society...?

Think about it – the effect of Yin-Yang imbalance on Gender Equilibrium. 

Do you find merit in my thoughts...? 

Or – do you think this is gobbledygook from a “senile” veteran...?

I look forward to your comments and views – “bouquets” and “brickbats”...

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This blog post is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

This is a revised and updated version of my story written by me Vikram Karve more than 6 years ago in the year 2011 and earlier posted online by me in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/02/gender-balance-emergence-of-modern.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/04/when-she-women-become-he-women-but-he.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/04/gender-ambiguity-yin-yang-imbalance.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/09/yin-yang-balance-and-gender-equilibrium.html