Humor in Uniform – The Military “Cashless Economy” – “Black Gold” Cashless Transactions

Humor in Uniform 

Disclaimer: 

This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

PROLOGUE 

“Cashless Economy”  and  Cashless Transactions  were encouraged after  Demonetization  which happened a few years ago. 

I wrote this spoof at that time. 

Dear Reader: Here is the spoof once more for you to read... 

The Military “Cashless Economy” – “Black Gold” Cashless Transactions

Gradually – all “exclusive” military perks are being abolished or diluted. 

Sometime back – CSD Canteen Facilities (which were initially meant for uniformed Armed Forces Personnel and Military Veterans) – these CSD Canteen Facilities were extended to all Defence Civilians – even after their retirement. 

While Civil Services and Paramilitary/CAPFs keep getting what were once “exclusive” military perks – there is no reciprocity – and Defence Personnel do not get Civilian Benefits like Higher Retirement Age of 60 years, NFU (Non-Functional Upgradation) resulting in enhanced Pay/Pension, ACP (Assured Career Progression) resulting in Faster Promotions etc. 

So – day by day – in relative terms – the Civil Services are becoming more and more attractive compared to the Defence Services.

The military perk of “Ration in Kind” was discontinued for Defence Officers (I understand that efforts are being made to restore the same)

Now – it seems that the only “exclusive” military perk that remains is “Concessional CSD Liquor Quota”. 

Observing all this – a Military Wife commented that this gradual removal of military perks is the fault of Defence Personnel themselves – who misuse these perks and are “over-generous” in “helping” their civilian friends. 

She opined that Defence Personnel should stop misusing the “Concessional CSD Liquor Quota” facility – and – she said that Military “Faujis” should stop being “over-generous” in treating their Civilian Friends to “Fauji Booze” – otherwise even this solitary “exclusive” military perk would soon be discontinued. 

All this reminded me of a spoof I had written sometime ago during the Demonetization days. 

I am re-posting the spoof for you to read. 

Dear Reader: Please remember that I wrote this spoof a few years ago – and things may have changed now – so – just take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 

THE MILITARY “CASHLESS ECONOMY”

“Black Gold” Cashless Transactions

A Fictional Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

The Military is always way ahead of Civilians.

It is a well-known fact that most of the “Cutting-Edge” Technologies and “State-of-the Art” Management Systems were first invented/developed by the Military and then put to civilian use (mostly in the USA).

But – do you know that “Cashless Economy” was in vogue long ago – since many decades – in Indian Military Environment – for so many years – and – Civilians are going hyper about “Cashless Economy” now – especially after Demonetization.

Of course – those “good old days” many decades ago – were many years before Computers were invented – and – the Internet was a long way off – so – there was no question of “Digital” or “Online” transactions.

The mode of transaction prevalent way back then – in the “Military Cashless System” was “Black Gold” aka “Military Rum” (which Military Personnel got at concessional rates in their Canteens/Messes).

(Yes, Dear Reader – like “Coal” is called “Black Diamond” in Mining Jargon – “Military Rum” is called “Black Gold” in Military Parlance)

In order to explain how “Black Gold Cashless Transactions” operated – let me tell you an “apocryphal” story.  

Long back – an Army Officer was selected for the prestigious “Staff College” course at Wellington.

The moment he came to know of his selection – he started collecting bottles of “Military Rum” aka “Black Gold”. 

(As I told you earlier – in military parlance – Rum is called “Black Gold”) 

The Army Officer (selected for Staff College) – he asked his fellow officers to “sacrifice” a few bottles of Rum from their Liquor Quota – he begged the Canteen Officer and Mess Secretary for a few bottles of Rum.

“I want to get through Staff College comfortably – and – for that – I need at least a few cases of “Black Gold”…” he said. 

(One Case = 12 Bottles of Rum) 

I was surprised that the Army Officer needed so many bottles of Rum to get through Staff College – so I innocently asked him: 

“Really…? Is Staff College so tough…? Do you need to drink so much Rum – to be able to perform all the studies – and complete all the assignments – to get through and qualify Staff College…?” 

The Officer laughed and said to me: 

“Are you crazy…? I am not going to drink all that Rum. In fact – I am a teetotaller – I don’t touch alcohol…” he said, “the Rum is not for me to drink – Rum is “Black Gold” – and – I need plenty of “Black Gold” to get things done out there – “Black Gold” is much more valuable than Cash – in fact – for some things they don’t accept cash – they only want “Black Gold”….”

For obvious reasons – I will not spell out the “Cashless Transactions” which “Black Gold” could perform so seamlessly and economically.

If you have served in the military – you may have seen “cashless transactions” at various places for a variety of goods and services – in fact – in cantonments – most “service providers” insist on “Cashless Transactions” using “Black Gold”. 

Earlier – when Officers travelled by Train – and you had to move at short notice without reservation – instead of giving cash bribes to to get a seat/berth – haven’t you preferred “Cashless Transactions” using “Black Gold” to pay the bribe to get a seat/berth...?

When Handing/Taking Over Houses – haven’t you had to use “Cashless Transactions” using “Black Gold” to satisfy MES personnel who would otherwise enter “damages” resulting in huge recoveries from you...? 

Tell me – haven’t you had to resort to “Cashless Transactions” using “Black Gold” for so many things – especially in cantonments...? 

So – isn’t the Military the pioneer in “Cashless Transactions”...?

And now – as usual – after so many years – Civilians are emulating the Military in the domain of “Cashless Economy” – albeit – they are using “Digital Technology” instead of “Black Gold” for “Cashless Transactions”.

Cheers – have a good day !!! 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This story was written by me almost 3 years ago ago in Dec 2016 and Posted Online earlier by me Vikram Karve in my various Blogs under the title “CASHLESS ECONOMY” at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/12/humor-in-uniform-cashless-economy.html  and  https://www.quora.com/profile/Vikram-Karve/Writing-by-VIKRAM-KARVE/Humor-in-Uniform-%E2%80%93-%E2%80%9CBlack-Gold%E2%80%9D-Cashless-Transactions  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2016/12/26/cashless-economy-military-style/  and http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/07/the-military-cashless-economy-black.html  etc

THE “POUND-FOOLISH” ALWAYS EXPLOIT THE “PENNY-WISE” – Humor in Finance

Humor in Finance

THE “POUND-FOOLISH” ALWAYS EXPLOIT THE “PENNY-WISE”

BAILOUT – A PARADOX

THE POOR SUBSIDISE THE RICH

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

I still vividly remember an incident which happened in the 1960’s – when I was a small boy and I lived in Pune.

My mother believed in the concepts of thrift and frugality – and she practiced what she preached. 

She believed in building up savings rather than borrowing money.

We were taught to live within our means. 

We never took loans. 

In case we wanted to buy something expensive – we saved money till we had enough funds to buy what wanted.

After I got my job – I opened a recurring deposit – saved money every month – and purchased my first scooter after nearly 3 years. 

I still remember that I bought my first car after working for more than 15 years. 

I bought it from my savings – and did not take a loan for buying a car. 

If we could not afford something – we had no hesitation in saying so – and we curtailed our desires instead of having false pretences. 

We had not fallen victim to the disease of instant gratification. 

We believed in “cutting our coat according to our cloth”.

We never lived beyond our means – and that is why we were financially sound – and our savings gave us a sense of security.

We did not believe in “keeping up with the Joneses” – and that is why – we never felt any sense of inferiority or envy if our neighbour was better off than us – or if he had something which we did not have.

I have digressed. 

Let me take you back to the incident which happened more than 45 years ago in the end 1960’s. 

As I have already told you – since my mother believed in thrift and frugality – she always travelled around Pune by Public Transport – Pune Municipal Transport (PMT) Bus. 

Commuting by auto-rickshaw or taxi was considered a luxury – and was resorted to only when absolutely necessary like when we had luggage and had to go to the railway station to catch a train – or when there was some elderly or ailing person who could not travel by bus.

One day an aunt came to meet my mother. 

She was much younger and fitter than my mother. 

She had come to borrow money from my mother. 

At first – my mother was quite reluctant to lend her money. 

I too seemed quite surprised that my aunt wanted to borrow money from us – since she was quite well-off financially – as compared to us.

Seeing my mother’s unwillingness to lend her money – my aunt pleaded desperately to the point of emotional blackmail.

(I could overhear something about cheques bouncing etc). 

Finally my mother succumbed – and gave my aunt the money. 

Then – my mother asked me to see off my aunt to the bus stop.

As we were walking towards the bus stop – my aunt asked me to hail an auto-rickshaw.

“You want to go by auto-rickshaw?” I asked her, surprised, “Why don’t you go by PMT bus – it goes right near your house?”

“I am not used to travelling by bus,” my aunt said with disdain, “these PMT buses are so dirty, crowded and uncomfortable – I just can’t travel in these terrible buses. Just call me a auto-rickshaw.”

And so – off she went travelling in the luxury of an auto-rickshaw.

Of course – my snooty aunt would pay the “exorbitant” auto-rickshaw fare out the money borrowed from us – while we would travel by bus – that’s what hurt me the most.

A question arose in my mind.

How can someone who borrows money have a higher standard of living than the person who lends them the money?

In fact – why should someone who is well-to-do and has a higher standard of living – borrow money from someone who is less well-off?   

Isn’t it logical that the standard of living of the lender should be much higher than that of the borrower?

My mother travelled by economical public transport bus. 

My aunt travelled by expensive auto-rickshaw.

We lived in a modest home in a middle-class neighbourhood – whereas my aunt lived in a stylish house in a posh locality.

Yet – my aunt would always borrow money from my mother – when logically it should have been the other way round.

My spendthrift “pound-foolish” aunt kept on exploiting my thrifty “penny-wise” mother.

I did not understand the paradox.

How can the rich borrow from the poor?

Does it make any sense?

And – why should the rich borrow from poor?

But now I see this happening all around – when I hear that familiar term “BAILOUT”.

Rich organisations like banks and airlines (who have the most highly paid employees) are being “bailed out” by the comparatively poorer taxpayers. 

Yes – the poor taxpayer is being penalised for the extravagance of these lavish spendthrift organisations – who have landed themselves in dire straits because of their own incompetence and profligacy.

Why should a person who earns much less than the highly paid employees working in these organisations be expected to bail them out?

Is it fair to ask the middle class to bail out someone who is much more financially well-to-do?

Why must the economically prudent subsidize the financially reckless?

It seems the same thing is happening with nations too. 

Developed nations like Greece are seeking bailouts. 

If you have a look at the luxurious lifestyle and plush high standard of living of these European Nations as compared to underdeveloped or developing nations – you really wonder why these developed and modern nations should be “bailed out”.

In fact – it is the less-developed Asian and African nations who need a “bailout” – not developed European nations. 

It is inexplicable.

How can someone with a lower standard of living “bail out” someone with a higher standard of living?

It would be much better if these cash-strapped nations and bankrupt organisations be asked to cut costs, reduce salaries, prune expenditure, implement austerity measures and practice thrift and frugality – rather than giving them bailout after bailout – despite the fact that they continue with their spendthrift lifestyle. 

And if they refuse to mend their profligate ways – then it is better to let them go bust.  

The poor subsidize the rich.

The “pound-foolish” always exploit the “penny-wise”.

Strange but true – an inexplicable paradox – is it not?

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

  

Updated Re-Post of my Article titled BAILOUT Earlier Posted Online by me Vikram Karve on June 11, 2012 in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/bailout.html

BAILOUT

BAILOUT – A PARADOX

WHY SHOULD THE POOR BAILOUT THE RICH?

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

I still vividly remember an incident which happened in the 1960s when I was a small boy and lived in Pune.

My mother believed in and practiced the concepts of thrift and frugality. She believed in building up savings rather than borrowing money.

We were taught to live within our means. We never took loans. In case we wanted to buy something expensive, we saved money till we had enough funds to buy what wanted.

After I got my job I opened a recurring deposit, saved money every month, and purchased my first scooter after nearly 3 years. I still remember that I bought my first car after working for more than 15 years. I bought it from my savings and did not take a loan for buying a car. If we could not afford something we had no hesitation in saying so and curtailed our desires instead of having false pretences. We had not fallen victim to the disease of instant gratification. We believed in “cutting our coat according to our cloth”.

We never lived beyond our means and that’s why we were financially sound and our savings gave us a sense of security.

We did not believe in “keeping up with the Joneses” and that is why we never felt any sense of inferiority or envy if our neighbour was better off than us or if he had something which we did not.

I have digressed. Let me take you back to the incident which happened more than 40 years ago. As I have already told you, since my mother believed in thrift and frugality, she always travelled around by public transport Pune Municipal Transport (PMT) Bus. Commuting by auto-rickshaw was considered a luxury and was resorted to only when absolutely necessary like when we had luggage and had to go to the railway station to catch a train or when there was some elderly or ailing person who could not travel by bus.

One day an aunt came to meet my mother. She was much younger and fitter than my mother. She had come to borrow money from my mother. At first my mother was quite reluctant to lend her money. I too seemed quite surprised that my aunt wanted to borrow money from us since she was quite well-off as compared to us.

Seeing my mother’s unwillingness to lend her money, my aunt pleaded desperately to the point of emotional blackmail (I could overhear something about cheques bouncing etc). Finally my mother succumbed and gave my aunt the money. Then she asked me to see my aunt off to the bus stop.

As we were walking towards the bus stop my aunt asked me to hail an auto-rickshaw.

“You want to go by auto-rickshaw?” I asked surprised, “Why don’t you go by PMT bus – it goes right near your house?”

“I am not used to travelling by bus,” she said with disdain, “these PMT buses are so dirty, crowded and uncomfortable – I just can’t travel in these terrible buses. Just call me a auto-rickshaw.”

And off she went travelling in the luxury of an auto-rickshaw.

Of course, my snooty aunt would pay the “exorbitant” auto-rickshaw fare out the money borrowed from us while we would travel by bus – that’s what hurt me the most.

How can someone who borrows money have a higher standard of living than the person who lends them the money?

In fact, why should someone who is well-to-do and has a higher standard of living borrow money from someone who is less well-off?   

Isn’t it logical that the standard of living of the lender should be much higher than that of the borrower?

My mother travelled by cheap public transport bus. My aunt travelled by expensive auto-rickshaw.

We lived in a modest home in a middle-class neighbourhood whereas my aunt lived in a stylish house in a posh locality.

Yet, my aunt would always borrow money from my mother when logically it should have been the other way round.

My spendthrift “pound-foolish” aunt kept on exploiting my thrifty “penny-wise” mother.

I did not understand the paradox.

How can the rich borrow from the poor?

Does it make any sense?

And, why should the rich borrow from poor?

But now I see this happening all around when I hear that familiar term “BAILOUT”.

Rich organisations like banks and airlines (who have the most highly paid employees) are being “bailed out” by the comparatively poorer tax payer. Yes, the poor tax payer is being penalised for the extravagance of these lavish spendthrift organisations who have landed themselves in dire straits because of their own incompetence and profligacy.

Why should a person who earns much less than the highly paid employees working in these organisations be expected to bail them out?

Is it fair to ask the middle class to bail out someone who is much more well-to-do?

Why must the economically prudent subsidize the financially reckless?

It seems the same thing is happening with nations too. Developed nations like Greece and Spain are seeking bailouts. If you have a look at the luxurious lifestyle and plush high standard of living of these European Nations as compared to underdeveloped or developing nations you really wonder why these developed and modern nations should be “bailed out”.

It is inexplicable – how can someone with a lower standard of living “bail out” someone with a higher standard of living?

It would be much better if these cash-strapped nations and bankrupt organisations be asked to cut costs, reduce salaries, prune expenditure, implement austerity measures and practice thrift and frugality rather than giving them bailout after bailout despite the fact that they continue with their spendthrift lifestyle. And if they refuse to mend their profligate ways then it is better to let them go bust.  

The poor subsidize the rich.

The “pound-foolish” keep on exploiting the “penny-wise”.

Strange but true – an inexplicable paradox – believe it or not.

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
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Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

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