The Military “Cashless Economy” – “Black Gold” Cashless Transactions

Humor in Uniform 

The Military “Cashless Economy” – “Black Gold” Cashless Transactions

Gradually – all “exclusive” military perks are being abolished or diluted. 

Sometime back – CSD Canteen Facilities (which were initially meant for uniformed Armed Forces Personnel and Military Veterans) – these CSD Canteen Facilities were extended to all Defence Civilians – even after their retirement. 

While Civil Services and Paramilitary/CAPFs keep getting what were once “exclusive” military perks – there is no reciprocity – and Defence Personnel do not get Civilian Benefits like Higher Retirement Age of 60 years, NFU (Non-Functional Upgradation) resulting in enhanced Pay/Pension, ACP (Assured Career Progression) resulting in Faster Promotions etc. 

So – day by day – in relative terms – the Civil Services are becoming more and more attractive compared to the Defence Services.

Recently – the military perk of “Ration in Kind” has been discontinued for Defence Officers. 

Now – it seems that the only “exclusive” military perk that remains is “Concessional CSD Liquor Quota”. 

Observing all this – a Military Wife commented that this gradual removal of military perks is the fault of Defence Personnel themselves – who misuse these perks and are “over-generous” in “helping” their civilian friends. 

She opined that Defence Personnel should stop misusing the “Concessional CSD Liquor Quota” facility – and Military “Faujis” should stop being “over-generous” in treating their Civilian Friends to “Fauji Booze” – otherwise even this solitary “exclusive” military perk would soon be discontinued. 

All this reminded me of a spoof I had written sometime ago during the Demonetisation days. 

Here it is...

THE MILITARY “CASHLESS ECONOMY”

“Black Gold” Cashless Transactions

A Fictional Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

The Military is always way ahead of Civilians.

It is a well-known fact that most of the “Cutting-Edge” Technologies and “State-of-the Art” Management Systems were first invented/developed by the Military and then put to civilian use (mostly in the US).

But – do you know that “Cashless Economy” was in vogue long ago – since many decades – in Indian Military Environment – for so many years – and – Civilians are going hyper about “Cashless Economy” now – especially after Demonetization.

Of course – those “good old days” many decades ago – were many years before Computers were invented – and – the Internet was a long way off – so – there was no question of “Digital” or “Online” transactions.

The mode of transaction prevalent way back then – in the “Military Cashless System” was “Black Gold” aka “Military Rum” (which Military Personnel got at concessional rates in their Canteens/Messes).

(Yes – like “Coal” is called “Black Diamond” in Mining Jargon – “Military Rum” is called “Black Gold” in Military Parlance)

In order to explain how “Black Gold Cashless Transactions” operated – let me tell you an “apocryphal” story.  

Long back – an Army Officer was selected for the prestigious “Staff College” course at Wellington.

The moment he came to know of his selection – he started collecting bottles of “Military Rum” aka “Black Gold”. 

(As I told you earlier – in military parlance – Rum is called “Black Gold”)

The Army Officer (selected for Staff College) – he asked his fellow officers to “sacrifice” a few bottles of Rum from their Liquor Quota – he begged the Canteen Officer and Mess Secretary for a few bottles of Rum.

“I want to get through Staff College comfortably – and – for that – I need at least a few cases of “Black Gold”…” he said. 

(One Case = 12 Bottles of Rum) 

I was surprised that the Army Officer needed so many bottles of Rum to get through Staff College – so I innocently asked him: 

“Really…? Is Staff College so tough…? Do you need to drink so much Rum – to be able to perform all the studies – and complete all the assignments – to get through and qualify Staff College…?” 

“Are you crazy…? I am not going to drink all that Rum. In fact – I am a teetotaller – I don’t touch alcohol…” he said, “the Rum is not for me to drink – Rum is “Black Gold” – and – I need plenty of “Black Gold” to get things done out there – “Black Gold” is much more valuable than Cash – in fact – for some things they don’t accept cash – they only want “Black Gold”….”

For obvious reasons – I will not spell out the “Cashless Transactions” which “Black Gold” could perform so seamlessly and economically.

If you have served in the military – you may have seen “cashless transactions” at various places for a variety of goods and services – in fact – in cantonments – most “service providers” insist on “Cashless Transactions” using “Black Gold”.

And now – as usual – after so many years – Civilians are emulating the Military in the domain of “Cashless Economy” – albeit – they are using “Digital Technology” instead of “Black Gold” for “Cashless Transactions”.

Cheers – have a good day !!! 

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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This story was written by me almost one year ago in Dec 2016 and Posted Online earlier by me Vikram Karve in my various Blogs under the title “CASHLESS ECONOMY” at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/12/humor-in-uniform-cashless-economy.html  and  https://www.quora.com/profile/Vikram-Karve/Writing-by-VIKRAM-KARVE/Humor-in-Uniform-%E2%80%93-%E2%80%9CBlack-Gold%E2%80%9D-Cashless-Transactions  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2016/12/26/cashless-economy-military-style/  etc