“Keep it in the Family” – Don’t Wash Your “Dirty Linen” in Public

Recently – I had a discussion with a friend about how families tend to hide serious issues under the pretext that it is an internal issue of the family and that “dirty linen” should not be washed in public.

This reminded me of an article I had written last year on the topic of “Misplaced Loyalty” due to “Keep it in the Family” Syndrome...

MISPLACED LOYALTY

“Keep it in the Family” Syndrome

A Garb for Pseudo-Ethics

Musings of a Navy Veteran

By

VIKRAM KARVE

RUSTOM

Last year – in 2016 – I saw the movie RUSTOM

The film is based on the famous 1959 Nanavati Case 

(Commander K. M. Nanavati vs. State of Maharashtra)

I am sure you are aware of this landmark murder case in which Commander Kawas Manekshaw Nanavati – a Navy Commander – was tried for the murder of Prem Ahuja – his wife’s lover. 

NANAVATI CASE 

As per information on the Nanavati Case on the Internet – it appears that – Commander Nanavati fired 3 shots at his wife’s lover who dropped dead – and then – Commander Nanavati headed straight to confess to the Provost Marshal of the Western Naval Command – and – on his advice – Nanavati surrendered himself to the Deputy Commissioner of Police.

The murder case received unprecedented media coverage and inspired several books and movies.

Commander Nanavati – accused under section 302 – was initially declared “Not Guilty” by a Jury under section 302 – but – the verdict was dismissed by the Bombay High Court – and – the case was re-tried as a bench trial.

The High Court sentenced Nanavati to life imprisonment for culpable homicide amounting to murder – and subsequently – the Supreme Court of India upheld the conviction.

Nanavati was granted pardon after spending 3 years in prison – and – after his release – Nanavati – his wife Sylvia – and – their 3 children – all migrated to Canada – and – settled in Toronto.

Nanavati died in 2003.

The Nanavati case was the last to be heard as a Jury Trial in India – as the government abolished jury trials after this landmark case.

RUSTOM (Movie) – Twist in the Tail

The movie ending is different – with a “Twist in the Tail”.

The protagonist Commander Rustom Pavri walks free after the jury declares him “not guilty”. 

On the eve of the judgement – while talking to the Investigating Officer (Police Inspector Lobo) – Commander Rustom Pavri justifies killing his wife’s lover (Vikram Makhija)

Rustom says that the real reason he shot dead his wife’s lover (Vikram Makhija) was to prevent India Navy from acquiring a “sub-standard” Aircraft Carrier which would have compromised national security.

Vikram Makhija was an “Arms Agent” – and – he had entered into a conspiracy with “Bigwigs” (including high ranking Naval Officers and Bureaucrats) – to siphon off money by importing a “sub-standard” warship.

Rustom is deputed abroad to a foreign country to inspect the ship – and – he discovers the “scam”.

He is shocked to learn that his friend Vikram Makhija is the main conspirator and his own senior officers are involved neck-deep in the scam. 

The corrupt “scamsters” try to “persuade” Rustom to give a “favourable” report to accept the “sub-standard” ship.

The corrupt “scamsters” try to bribe Rustom – and – later they threaten him – but – Rustom – who is a patriotic and honest officer – refuses to compromise his integrity.

On his return to India – Rustom he telephonically informs the Defence Secretary about the scam – and – Rustom tells him that he will not spare the main conspirator Vikram Makhija (who – Rustom has coincidentally learnt is having an affair with his wife Sylvia).

(It later transpires that the Defence Secretary is also involved in the scam). 

Rustom proceeds to Vikram Makhija’s house and puts three bullets into his chest.

Vikram Makhija drops dead.

Everyone (including the investigating officer Inspector Lobo) thinks that Rustom killed Makhija because he caught him having an affair with his wife.

However – at the end of the movie – while talking to Inspector Lobo – Rustom reveals that real reason why he killed Vikram Makhija.

Rustom says the he killed Vikram Makhija since he was the key conspirator in the shady deal to import the sub-standard aircraft carrier warship.

Thereby – he managed foil the shady deal and prevented the import of a sub-standard warship whose acquisition would have compromised national security.

Inspector Lobo asks Commander Rustom Pavri: 

“What about the other conspirators like the Senior Navy Officers, Defence Secretary etc…? Why didn’t you expose them and ensure that they got punished…?”

Commander Rustom Pavri says: 

“If I had exposed them – the “image” of the Navy and Government would have got tarnished – so – I did not expose those persons in “high places” to protect the reputation of the nation…”

Does the movie want to give a “message” that it is okay to condone high-level corruption in shady Defence deals – on the specious logic that – exposing high-ranking perpetrators will tarnish the “good image” of the Armed Forces, spoil the reputation of the Defence Establishment and embarrass the Government…?

In the Movie – Rustom displays “Misplaced Patriotism” by his misguided belief – that – he is defending the honour of the Navy and the Nation – by concealing the extent of the scam and withholding the names corrupt senior officers – due to which high-ranking perpetrators of the scam escape punishment and get away scot-free.

Hence – the “moral message” is that – for the “greater good” – it is justified to let wrongdoers get away scot-free just to protect the reputation of the organization.

Bizarre logic – isn’t it…?

Or maybe – it is not so bizarre.

Don’t we see such cases of “misplaced loyalty” in real life…?

This phenomenon is visible at work – at the organizational level – and – in personal life – at the familial level.

MISPLACED LOYALTY (The “Keep it in the Family” Syndrome)

Misplaced loyalty makes you remain silent when you know you should speak up – at work – and – in personal life – especially when it comes to personal friendships and close family relationships.

We see this phenomenon of “misplaced loyalty” in organizations – in the military (under the garb of “izzat”) – and – in “civvy street” too – in civilian bureaucracy – in business houses and the corporate sector – and – of course – in political parties.

Engaging in misplaced loyalty in professional life entails complying with a “code of silence” about the internal affairs of your organization.

In the Military – “Regimental Loyalties” (keep it within the unit) – and “Ship Loyalties” (keep it within the ship) – are examples of such misplaced organizational loyalties.

At the family/personal level – incidents of Incest, Sexual Abuse, Inappropriate Behaviour, Adultery, Pedophilia and Domestic Violence that happen within a “family” – these incidents may be “hushed up” to avoid “washing dirty linen in public” – because of the fallacious fear –  that exposing the wrongdoers may bring a “bad name” to the family and tarnish the reputation of the entire family.

I call it the “keep it in the family” syndrome. 

The term “family” is used literally to mean personal family comprising relatives – as well as metaphorically – to refer to organizations (workplace “family”).

“Misplaced Loyalty” due to the “Keep it in the Family” syndrome sometimes makes you condone unethical acts of individuals/organizations who you feel are a “part of the family” and towards whom you feel a sense of “loyalty”.

“Misplaced Loyalty” attitudes of – “Keep it in the Family” – “Don’t Wash Dirty Linen in Public” – result in a “pseudo-ethical” tendency to “brush misdemeanors under the carpet” and “hush up” wrongdoings – due to which culprits get away scot-free.

Owing to these “Misplaced Loyalty” Mindsets in Organizations – Frauds and Scams are “hushed-up” – Corruption and Wrongdoings are not exposed – and – Scandals are swept under the carpet.

In some cases – even heinous crimes are “hushed up” – due to the propensity to “cover up” criminal activities due to the “Keep it in the Family” Syndrome.

Both at the macro-level and micro-level – in organizational environments – and – in family settings – “misplaced loyalty” due to the “keep it in family” syndrome may have deleterious consequences.

The ramification of this “misplaced loyalty” due to the “keep it in family” syndrome is that wrongdoers get emboldened to commit misdemeanors even more brazenly with disastrous consequences.

The widespread corruption, various scams/scandals and proliferation of crime bear testimony to this fact.

Due to the “keep it in the family” mindset – in workplaces and in family settings – if sexual perverts who indulge in “inappropriate behavior” are allowed to get away “scot-free” – they may get emboldened to commit worse misdemeanors like sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape etc.

“Misplaced Loyalty” is dangerous – for the “family” – and for society at large.

Even if it means “embarrassment” to the “family” – isn’t it better to “name and shame” wrongdoers and punish these malefactors at the very first instance…?

Exposing transgressors in the very first instance will help “nip things in the bud” – and – will deter these wrongdoers from committing graver misdemeanors – which may prove to be even more detrimental to the family/organization.

During my long career in the Navy – I did come across a few instances of attempts to “cover up” misconduct due to the “keep it in the family” syndrome (“Misplaced Loyalty” arising from “fear of reputation damage” – or – due to adherence to so-called pseudo “honour codes” prevalent in military training academies and in some regiments/units) 

But – by and large – instances of misconduct were duly reported and the offenders were punished.

CONCLUSION

Coming back to the movie RUSTOM – it is one thing for a Naval Officer to commit an “Honour Killing” by shooting his wife’s illicit lover.

But – it is quite another thing for a Naval Officer to kill a Civilian Businessman who is a conspirator in a defence scam – while at the same time “protecting” high-ranking Navy Officers and Civilian Bureaucrats involved in the same scam – and justifying the “hush up” – on the bizarre logic – that exposing these high-ranking officers will tarnish the image of the Navy and the Nation.

I wish the movie had stuck to the original story – and – not twisted the story by a hotchpotch sub-plot about corruption in defence deals – and – ended up with the protagonist Commander Rustom Pavri justifying his “Misplaced Patriotism” – due to which – he does not expose corruption in the shady defence deal – on the specious logic – that “naming and shaming” corrupt high-ranking officers involved in the scam – would “tarnish the image” of the Navy (and Nation)

So – the protagonist (Commander Rustom Pavri) thereby allows the conspirators to get away scot-free and escape punishment for their misconduct. 

Dear Reader: 

Don’t you see examples of “Misplaced Loyalty” and “Keep it in the Family” Syndrome around you – due to which – instead of being punished – wrongdoers and culprits are allowed to escape punishment and get away scot-free – at both – the “macro level” – in politics, in bureaucracy, in the military, in corporates, in academia – and also at the “micro level” – in your workplace and among your family and friends...?

I feel that Misplaced Loyalty (due to the “keep it in the family” syndrome) is a garb for pseudo-ethics – and this proves detrimental to the greater good in the long run. 

Dear Reader – Do you agree...?

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. All examples and tips are illustrative in nature. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

 

This is a revised re-post of my blog post “Keep it in the Family” Syndromefirst posted online by me Vikram Karve on Monday, August 22, 2016 in my blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/keep-it-in-family-syndrome-misplaced.html  and reposted at url:  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/10/misplaced-loyalty-keep-it-in-family.html

Love Bite – A Story for April Fool’s Day

HUMOR – APRIL FOOL’S DAY STORY

This morning – I decided to write a story on the occasion of April Fool’s Day (also known as All Fools’ Day)

It was only in the evening that I could complete it. 

Dear Reader: Here is my April Fool’s Day Story...

“LOVE” BITE

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

Disclaimer:

This is not a true story. This story is a work of fiction. Events, places, settings and incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This story is a spoof, pure fiction, satire, just for fun and humour, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

New Delhi

Circa 1982

“It is quite a serious bite wound – who bit you – was it a pet dog – or a stray dog…?” the pretty nurse at the emergency OPD asked me.

“This is not a “dog bite” – it is a “human bite”…?” I said.

“Human bite…? Who bit you, Sir…?”

“My wife bit me…” I said.

Trying to suppress her laughter – the nurse said:

“Sir – I think you better show your bite wound to the Duty Medical Officer (MO)….”

“Duty MO…?”

“Sir – I know what to do for dog bites – but – I have never handled a “human bite” before…” the nurse said, smiling at me.

“Okay – please call him…” I said to the nurse.

“Sir – I think you better wake him up…”

“Wake him up…?”

“The Duty MO is sleeping in the office of the Commandant – it is the first room at the end of the corridor…”

“Okay – you come with me…” I said to the nurse.

So – with the nurse in tow – I walked to the office of the Commandant – and – I knocked at the door.

There was no response – so I banged at the door.

“Who the hell is it…?” an angry male voice shouted from inside.

“Emergency case…” I said.

After some time – the door opened – and – the Duty MO – a sleepy AMC Lieutenant Colonel – stood in front of me.

He was sleeping in air-conditioned comfort in the Commandant’s Office – and he was obviously miffed at being woken up from his deep sleep.

His face seemed to be familiar.

The Duty MO looked at me – and he asked me:

“You are in the Navy – aren’t you…?”

“Yes, Sir…”

“You live in Curzon Road Apartments – don’t you…?”

“Yes, Sir…”

“We see you in the lawns playing with your dog in the mornings when we have our tea in our balcony…”

“Yes, Sir…”

“So – what do you want – why the hell have you woken me up at this unearthly hour…?” the Duty MO said angrily.

“Sir – the nurse asked me to wake you up…” I said, sheepishly.

The Duty MO looked questioningly at the nurse – who was standing behind me.

“Sir – a “bite wound”…” the nurse said.

“Oh. Your pet dog bit you…” the Duty MO said to me.

Then – the Duty MO said angrily to the nurse:

“I am sure his pet dog is vaccinated against rabies – so – just wash the wound – give him a tetanus shot – and let him go. Haven’t you been taught the basics at Nursing School…? Why the hell are you waking me up…?”

“Sir – it is not my dog…” I interrupted.

“Oh – so you were bitten by a stray dog…? Then we may have to give you “anti-rabies” vaccine…” the Duty MO said – and he looked at the nurse.

“Sir – it is not a dog bite – it is a “human bite”…” the nurse said.

“What…? Human Bite…?” the Duty MO exclaimed.

Then – he looked at me and asked me:

“Who the hell bit you…?”

“My wife…” I said.

“Your wife bit you…?”

“Yes, Sir…” I said – I showed him the bite wound on my left forearm – between my wrist and elbow.

“Bloody hell – it seems to be quite a deep wound – your wife seems to have really good teeth…” the Duty MO said.

“Yes, Sir…”

“Well – in my 20 years’ service – I have treated many “dog bite” cases – but – this is the first time I am seeing a “human bite” case...” the Duty MO said – looking at the nurse.

The nurse said: “Sir – I have already cleaned the wound with antiseptic – I will give him a tetanus shot – and – should we give him “anti-rabies” vaccine also…?”

“Why “anti-rabies”…?”

“Sir – his wife may not have been vaccinated against rabies…” the nurse said.

The Duty MO thought for a while – and then he said to me:

“I hope your wife is not “rabid” – is she…?”

“Rabid…?”

“Is she showing any signs of rabies – acting strangely – getting hyper – mood swings – foaming in the mouth – going around biting people – has she bitten anybody else…?”

“No, Sir – my wife is absolutely normal – I am the only person she has bitten so far…” I said.

“That’s good – but – as I said – this is my first case of “human bite” – so – it is best to take a “specialist opinion” from the “immunologist” – just to be sure…” the Duty MO said.

“Sir – you are a Doctor – why don’t you give me a tetanus shot and let me go…” I pleaded.

“You don’t try to act smart – okay…? You came here and reported to the OPD – didn’t you…? Now – you will bloody well listen to what I say. Do you understand…?”

“Sir – I thought you are a “specialist” too – since you are a Lieutenant Colonel…”

“Of course I am a “specialist” – I have specialized in “psychiatry”.  As a Psychiatrist – I can deal with you after you go crazy – but now – I am trying to prevent you from going mad. I just want to rule out the possibility of rabies – and – I am curious to know whether “anti-rabies” vaccination is required for “human bites”. Though I am a Psychiatrist – I always like to keep learning…” 

The Duty MO looked at the nurse and said:

“Check in the telephone directory and get me the immunologist on the phone…”

“Sir – it is past midnight…” the nurse said.

“So what – the bugger is junior to me – just get him on the line…”

The moment he was connected – the Duty MO said to the immunologist:

“I wanted to consult you on a “human bite” case. There is a Naval Officer here – Lieutenant “K” – with a deep wound on his forearm – severe bite marks – he says that his wife bit him…”

The Duty MO listened for some time – and then – he said to me:

“You didn’t tell me that you know the immunologist – Lieutenant Colonel “X” – he says you two were drinking partners in SP Marg Mess…”

“Yes, Sir – I knew Lieutenant Colonel “X” – I knew he was a doctor – but I didn’t know he was an immunologist…”

“Do you know what Lieutenant Colonel “X” is asking me…?”

“No, Sir…”

“Your friend Lieutenant Colonel “X” wants to know whether it is a “Love Bite”…”

“It’s not a “Love Bite” – it is a bloody “Hate Bite”…” I said.

“Ha, Ha…” the Duty MO said to the immunologist, “He says that it is a “hate bite”…”

They talked “medical gobbledygook” for some time.

Then – the Duty MO put the phone down and said to me:

“No worries. Come with me – we will give you a tetanus shot and some antibiotics – and – keep the wound open – we will apply an ointment to prevent infection…”

After the “treatment” for “human bite” was over – the Duty MO took me to back to the Commandant’s Office – and he poured some coffee from his flask for both of us.

The Duty MO looked at me and said:

“Now that the “medical” treatment is over – let is deal with the “legal” aspects...”

“Legal aspects…” I said, confused.

“Yes. This is “medico-legal” case – you have been brutally bitten by your wife – I have to make out a proper report – so – you will have to tell me what happened…”

“Sir – I was sleeping – and – my wife bit me…”

“Is she crazy…? She just bites you without any provocation…? I think you better send her to me. After all – I am a psychiatrist – and we hardly have any patients…”

“No, Sir – she is not crazy. It is not her fault. I had too much to drink – and I was fast asleep…”

“And she wanted to…?”

“No, Sir – it is not that. The power supply tripped – so – our air-cooler stopped – and it became very hot in the room. My wife woke up and she could not sleep due to the heat – so she wanted to wake me up – but I was fast asleep in my drunken state – so – I didn’t get up – and – she got angry…”

“So – she bit you…”

“No, Sir – it was not only due to that. She realized that the lights had gone off only in our flat – so she wanted me to go out and set right the MCB which had tripped – the MCB is located outside the flat near the lift – so – she was trying to wake me up – and – when I didn’t respond – she bit me on my hand…”

“And then…?”

“I was jolted out of my sleep – and – I went and set right the MCB – and – the lights came on – the cooler started working – and – my wife went to sleep…”

“And then – you came here to the hospital emergency OPD…?”

“No, Sir – I saw that the bite wound was quite serious – so – I quietly came out of my flat and woke up my neighbour – he also thought that my dog had bitten me – so – he took me to a “Vet” who lives on the same floor…”

“Ha Ha – he took you to a “Vet”…?”

“Sir – no one believed that my wife had bitten me. I convinced them with great difficulty – and – the “Vet” said that I better show my wound to a doctor quickly – before it gets infected – so – I came here on my scooter…”

“You should have called the ambulance. Could you ride your scooter properly…?”

“Sir, my left hand was paining a bit – but – I managed to drive the scooter…”

“A real “Tall Story”…” the Duty MO said, “anyway – you write down whatever you just said – sign it – and give it to me – so I can file the “medico-legal” report…”

I did as the Duty MO said – and – by the time I reached home – it was 3 AM.

Using the latch-key – I quietly entered our one room apartment on the 7^th floor.

My darling wife was fast asleep – oblivious of my arrival.

The cool air from the air-cooler was so soothing – that – within minutes – I fell asleep next to her.

Next morning – my wife seemed quite contrite:

“How is your hand…? I am sorry…”

“It is okay – my hand is okay…”

“Do you want to show it to the doctor…?” she asked.

Thanks to her deep sleep – it was evident that she did not know that I had gone to the Military Hospital at night.

Now – I only had to tell my neighbour and the “Vet” to keep mum – and the matter would be forgotten.

But – Dear Reader – you know how vibrant the “grapevine” is – and – it is impossible to keep such “juicy” gossip under wraps.

Also – the Duty MO (Psychiatrist) who had treated me – he lived in Curzon Road Apartments too – and – he told the entire story to his wife when they saw me playing with my dog the next morning.

The “husband biting” news spread like wildfire – with everyone adding their own spicy “masala”.

Wherever we went – everyone gave us canny looks – after all – we were a curious couple – the “biting” wife and the “bitten” husband…

The ladies looked at my wife with admiration.

The men looked at me with ridicule.

EPILOGUE

A few days later – my boss called me to his office.

He threw a file in front of me.

I opened the file.

On the right hand side was the “written statement” – on ‘the “biting” wife and the “bitten” husband’ episode – the statement that I had given to the Duty MO.

On the left hand side was a “noting sheet”.

I was flabbergasted.

The buggers had initiated a “medico-legal” case.

“Sir – what is all this…?” I asked my boss.

“Well – they want to know if you wish to file a complaint against your wife for “biting” you and causing you bodily injury…”

“Of course not – No Sir – I don’t wish to file any complaint – I want this whole embarrassing matter closed…”

“Then – write it down there on the noting sheet and give me the file…” my boss said.

After I had given the file back to my boss – he said:

“I have seen plenty of “wife beating” cases – but – this is the first time I am seeing a “husband biting” case….”

PS:  

Dear Reader – in case you meet me – please don’t ask me what caused the scar on my left hand – on my forearm – between my wrist and elbow…!!! 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)