FOOD
DATE
Fiction
Short Story
By
VIKRAM
KARVE
My
mobile phone gave a notification sound.
It was
a “WhatsApp” Message from my wife:
“Call
when you are free...”
I called
my wife immediately.
“Is your
“date” over…?” my wife asked me.
“No. She
has gone to the washroom…” I said.
“I saw
the pictures on Facebook. She seems very beautiful…” my wife said.
“Yes.
She is much more beautiful in real life than in her pictures…” I said.
“Why
did you take her to that Biryani joint…?” my wife said, “you should have treated
her to a lavish lunch in a 5-Star hotel…”
“She
insisted on going there…” I said, “she is a Biryani lover and wanted to eat “authentic”
Biryani…”
“Did
she like the Biryani…?” my wife asked.
“Yes…”
I said, “she loved the Biryani – and the Kebabs too…”
“That’s
good…” my wife said, “what are your plans now…?”
“I’ll
drop her home…” I said.
“It’s
only 2 o’clock. Take her shopping to the mall, or for a movie – or – the monsoon
weather is so lovely – why don’t you take her for a “romantic” drive to some picturesque
place – Tamhini, Sinhagad, Lonavala – and enjoy the sunset view together. Ask her
what she wants to do…” my wife said.
“Thanks…”
I said to my wife, “I’ll ask her…”
“By the
way – I really liked the “selfie” you took with her…” my wife said.
“You
liked the “selfie” – I am so happy to hear that. I am still learning how to
take good “selfies”. I had to hold her really tight and close while taking this
one…” I said.
“Yes…”
my wife said, “tight and close – quite an intimate “selfie”…!!!”
Suddenly
– I saw that my “date” had come out of the washroom and was walking towards me.
“She is
coming…” I said to my wife.
“Okay. All
the Best with your “date”…” my wife said and disconnected the phone.
As my “date”
came closer – I was surprised to see that she was giving me an “angry” look.
I smiled
to greet her – but – she did not smile back at me.
Instead
– she seemed to become even more livid.
She did
not sit down – but remained standing.
So – I rose
from my seat.
“Are
you crazy…?” my “date” shouted at me.
“Why…?
What happened…?” I said, surprised.
“Why
have you uploaded our pictures all over the Social Media…?” she said angrily.
“The photos
were so good…” I said.
“Oh Yes…”
she interrupted, “the photos are “too good” – especially that “selfie” where you
seem to be rubbing your cheeks on mine…”
“You didn’t
like our “selfie”…?” I asked.
“Well –
my sister-in-law has certainly “liked” it…” she said with sarcasm in her voice.
“Sister-in-Law…?”
I asked.
“My
husband’s sister – who hates me…” my “date” said.
“Oh…” I
mumbled.
“And – by
now – I am sure my bitchy sister-in-law has shared that “selfie” with everyone –
all over the social media…” my “date” said, with anxiety in her voice.
“Oh – she
saw it…?” I said, “But your sister-in-law is not my “friend”. How did she see
the “selfie”…?”
“Because
you “tagged” me – you fool. And – my sister-in-law is my “friend” on Facebook. Why
the hell did you “tag” me…?” she said.
“I thought…”
I mumbled.
“You
should have asked my permission…” she said, angrily.
“I
asked you before taking the “selfie”…” I said.
“I
thought you are taking it as remembrance – for our private viewing…” she said, “I
never imagined that you would publicly share our pictures with the whole world on
the social media…”
“I am
sorry if I have annoyed you…” I said to her, “Okay. I’ll cheer you up – let’s
go on a long drive to some nice place – Tamhini, Sinhagad, Lonavala – wherever you
want – and we can see sunset together…”
“Are
you mad or something…? Do you think I am going to stay for even a single minute
with you after what you have done…?” my “date” said angrily to me.
Suddenly
– there was a notification sound on her mobile phone – so – she looked at her
phone.
“Oh My
God…” she said, “it’s my husband. He wants me to call him urgently.”
“But –
it must be midnight over there…” I said.
“I am
sure my sister-in-law has shown these pictures to my mother-in-law – especially
that scandalous looking “selfie” – and my devious mother-in-law must have
called up my husband immediately…” she said.
“Or
maybe – he has seen the selfie” on Facebook – or Twitter – or Instagram – all
my Social Media Accounts are connected – once I post a picture – it gets shared
everywhere …” I said.
“You just
shut up…!!! Let me figure out what I should say to my husband…” she said.
“You
haven’t told your husband about this “date” with me…?” I said, curious.
“Of Course
Not…!” she said, “have you told your wife…?”
“Yes. I
tell my wife everything. In fact – she is the one who told me to ask you out
for a “date” after seeing our Tweets, DMs and Facebook Messages to each other…”
I said.
“What…?
You share private messages with each other…? You people seem to be real weirdos…”
she said, scornfully.
“I’ll
delete the photos…” I said, contrite.
“It’s too
late now – the damage is already done. But still – you please delete all those
pictures – especially the “selfie”. I only hope my sister-in-law hasn’t taken a
“screenshot”…!!!” she said.
“Okay.
I will delete all pictures and status updates of our “date”…” I said, “But –
you don’t worry – nothing will happen – if you want – I will talk to your
husband – and mother-in-law…” I said.
“Please
– you have done “enough” for the day. I am going now. And – I never want to see
your face again – so – don’t try to contact me – online or offline. In any case
– I am blocking you everywhere…” she said, angrily.
And – she
walked away – out of the restaurant.
EPILOGUE
I went
home – and – I told me wife everything.
“Don’t
feel sad…” my wife said to me, “you have so many friends on the Social Media –
we’ll find someone good for your next date…”
“It’s
strange…” I said, “she hadn’t told her husband she was having a “date” with me.
Aren’t husbands and wives supposed to tell each other everything…? Don’t I tell
you everything…?”
“Everyone
is not “You”…” my wife said – and she gave me a loving hug.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
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