PUNE BLOGGER MEET

We had a Pune Bloggers Meet on 10 November 2013.

Two Bloggers, Bhakti Sharma and Cynthia Vincent have written excellent posts about this meet:

Pune Bloggers Meet - Bhakti Sharma

Cynthia Vincent on Pune Bloggers Meet 10 Nov 2013

There is nothing much I can add to these eloquent posts.

So, let me dig into my blog archives and repost what I had written about the Pune Bloggers Meet we had at 11 AM on Saturday the 5th of May 2012 at RajLaxmi Sabhagruha, Kothrud, Pune.

PUNE BLOGGERS MEET

A Report

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Part 1 - BLOGGER MEETS IN PUNE

When you “retire” you have two choices.

You can hang out with your fellow retiree “oldie-goldies” and make your life miserable in the company of pessimistic, gloomy, cynical old-fogies who keep living in the past, carping and complaining about the present, and speculating and worrying about the future.

In short you can succumb to what I call the “Auld Lang Syne” complex. This is guaranteed to make you feel older than your chronological age.

The other choice is to spend your time in the company of lively enthusiastic youngsters who have a zest for life. This is what I prefer to do, for it makes me feel young and cheerful.

That’s why I decided to attend and actively participate in the Pune Bloggers Meet the moment I came to know about it on the IndiBlogger IndiVine.

Chronologically I may have been the oldest participant, but those present will agree with me, that I am quite young at heart, and in enthusiasm and passion, I am as young as, or maybe, even “younger” than many who are half my age.

Though I have been blogging for around 9 years, this was my second Bloggers Meet.

MY FIRST BLOG CAMP

Around six and a half years ago (on 16 June 2007) I participated in BlogCampPune at SCIT in the Rajiv Gandhi InfoTech Park in Hinjewadi. 

It was a huge sponsored affair and the focus was more on the business opportunities from Blogging, rather than the creative aspects.

Though they called it an “unconference”, the proceedings were quite structured and the event was dominated by the marketing guys and the IT Nerds – the Bloggers hardly had any say. 

However, Blogging was still in its nascent stage in India, and as a budding blogger, this BLOG CAMP was quite an informative and instructive experience.

I wrote a blog post about the Blog Camp the next day:

http://creative.sulekha.com/blog-camp-pune_236967_blog

(Click the link above to open and read in a new window later)

Though we got plenty to eat and lots of freebies, it was like attending a trade show or a seminar. 

I hardly got to personally interact with fellow bloggers and though I was educated about various aspects of blogging, especially from the technical and commercial points of view, there was nothing much for a simple blogger like me who blogged to showcase my creative writing and who wasn’t much interested in the business opportunities from blogging.

In contrast, the Pune Bloggers Meet (on 05 May 2012) which was more of a social get-together of the IndiBlogger Members of Pune, where the focus was on social interaction, fellowship and kinship, and the friendly informal atmosphere facilitated the formation of creative personal relationships between fellow Bloggers from Pune’s Blogging Community.

I am sure you have heard the famous Zen Story “EMPTY YOUR CUP”

A university Professor went to visit a famous Zen Master. The Professor wanted to learn about Zen.

The Zen Master served Tea.

While the Zen Master quietly served tea, the Professor talked about Zen.

The Master poured the visitor's cup full to the brim, and then kept on pouring.

The Professor watched the overflowing cup and soon he could no longer restrain himself and so the Professor blurted out to the Zen Master, “Please stop pouring the tea. The cup is overfull. No more tea will go in.”

“You are like this cup, full of your own opinions and beliefs,” the Zen Master said, “How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup.”

The moral of the story is that even if you are an experienced veteran, you must get rid the “Been There, Done That” mindset, you must avoid a patronizing mentality and keep your mind open to receiving new ideas from bright youngsters. 

That is why I always “empty my cup” whenever I want to learn something. 

Though I am quite an experienced blogger I made sure that I emptied my “cup” before I went to the Bloggers Meet and this strategy paid me handsome dividends as it seamlessly enabled me to learn so many new things about blogging.

The Pune Bloggers Meet was scheduled to start at 11 AM on Saturday the 5th of May 2012 at RajLaxmi Sabhagruha, Kothrud, Pune. 

As per my habit, ingrained during my Navy days, I reached the venue well before time, at 10:45 AM, and was probably the first to reach, but soon Bloggers started trickling in, and in due course soon there was enough quorum start the meet.

In today’s parlance, it was an “awesome” event and the credit for this successful meet must go to the organizer Animesh Mishra and his volunteer colleagues, to IndiBlogger whose IndiBiker Vineet Rajan came all the way from Mumbai to attend, and, of course, to all the Bloggers from Pune who participated.

Part 2 - BLOGGING IN PUNE

If you ask me: “What is the most important invention in your lifetime?” I would answer: “The Internet.”

And if you ask me which is that aspect of internet that has affected my life the most, I would answer: “Blogging.”

Yes, Blogging has changed my way of life – for the better. Blogging has given me something to look forward to and like I say “A Blog a Day keeps the Doctor Away”.

What is the meaning of the word BLOG?

BLOG is the short form of the word WEBLOG derived from the combination of the two words: WEB and LOG. 

A Blog is a virtual diary or an online journal created by an individual in cyberspace on the Internet. 

A Blog comprises writings and pictures, anything the blogger wants to share, ranging from creative writing to travelogues to food recipes to personal thoughts and experiences, academic papers, news, views and reviews, politics, business and social information, well almost anything and everything.

A blog is a vehicle for expression and interactive communication. 

Over the years the Blogosphere has become a tremendous repository of information and literature and the importance of Blogging will continue to increase in times to come not only as an information bank but also as an influencer of opinion. 

As a Trainer and Teacher I have used Blogs very effectively to disseminate knowledge and information. 

Blogs and Blogging are here to stay.

The day is not far when blogs will replace magazines and maybe, soon, blogs will be in and books will be out.

“Why do people Blog?”

Let’s see what some Pune Bloggers had to say.

Whenever Sai Kulkarni was eager to say something to someone, sometimes there was no one willing to listen to what she had to say. 

So she started writing a Blog – sharing her thoughts and reflections and imparting wisdom and soon she realized that there were so many fellow Bloggers with whom she could share her thoughts.

Yes, if the need to converse is unfulfilled in the real world, Blogging satisfies that need to communicate, albeit in the virtual world, since Blogging is an interactive activity unlike mere writing. 

And I feel this is the main reason most of us started blogging; because we wanted to say something, and blogging was the medium to express ourselves.

Stephen, a Techie from Mumbai who works in TechMahindra Pune, started writing a blog as an outlet for his creative expression.

Let me tell about my writing experiences before the birth of blogging.

Before the advent of the internet and blogging, creative writers were at the mercy of editors and publishers who determined whether your creative work would ever see the light of day. 

Even technical papers were subjected to a long and arduous process of peer review, which lead to subjectivity and delays and consequent frustration for the authors. 

A Creative Writer was treated to rejection slips or, worse still, indifference with submissions not even being acknowledged by the powers that be in the editorial offices and the publishing world. 

It was very exasperating to see your creative efforts being ignored, rejected, and even if your work was finally published the inordinate delay made you lose interest. 

Ismita Tandon Dhanker, a celebrated fiction author who has a bestseller “Love on the Rocks” a romantic thriller already under her belt and a mystery novel “Love Kills” slated for release, writes a wonderful Blog called The Lesser Known Poet – maybe she feels that though fiction is her calling, her true metier lies in poetry and gives vent to her poetic expression via her blog. 

Her companion, the smart young designer Pavitra told us that, at present, she writes in her brain. 

We await the day she starts blogging – after all, all of us too wrote in our minds all these years and all this “writing” is now flowing into our blogs.

Animesh K Mishra aka Captain Awesome who was the brain and brawn behind this meetup is a passionate blogger who blogs about everything under the sun, creative and non-creative writing, news and views, and is quite a versatile blogger who believes that bloggers must take a stand on issues rather than just report events (views versus news) and also contribute towards social causes. He tells his stories in pieces and enunciates his views in a very multifaceted blog called Towers and Shadows.

Vineet Rajan, the IndiBiker from IndiBlogger, has a very attractively designed blog and he blogs about a variety of topics, especially travelogues embellished with awesome pictures.

Hari blogs about the heritage on India and we listened with apt attention as he told us how an NRI decided to relocate back to India on reading his blog. His photo-travelogues on his blog Musafir Rendezvous with India are breathtaking

Prasant K rambles in search of truth while Prasant Naidu is a professional blogger – his blog Lighthouse and Insights is a must see.

Diwakar Narayan the ghazal aficionado has a blog called The Infected Mind and a exclusive Ghazal Blog too in which he writes short stories, poems, ghazals and on current affairs. There was a lady blogger who blogs in Hindi. She told us how blogging gave her an identity and recognition.

Interior Designer Pooja Ahuja has an informative blog Why Hire an Interior Designerand we look forward to some innovative interior designs and interesting tips from her.

If you want to see an awesome photoblog have a look at Ketan Pandit’s Blog and if you want to read a lively blog have a look at Hemant Arora’s Blog called Pearls from the Ocean not to forget Amit Singh’s poetry blog and sadly I could not open Saurabh Mukhekar’s and Annirudha’s Blogs.

Trupti has one of the most appealing blogs called Blawghh IT!! – this is a very interesting blog quite unique in its content and design and the picture posts about their travels around Pune and the one on paragliding and gliding are superb.

Sriram seems to be a very serious and profound blogger though his blog is called Coffee and Chess whereas in complete contrast is a simple fun blog by Archana – a  “Slice of Life” Blog called Spice of Life

Sandeep Gautam’s Psychology Blog The Mouse Trap is truly a fantastic well-researched blog whicg affords some serious reading on this intriguing subject.

I am sure you are getting bored reading this “Laundry List” of Pune Blogs (maybe I will continue my humdrum elucidation of the Pune Bloggers Meet in Part 3) but before I end I must mention a Technical Blog I liked very much called Technary which has useful content for Techies as well as Bloggers. I wonder who the authors of  Technary are – I think they were sitting near me and will they please introduce themselves.

I wondered why many blog under pseudonyms (handles) or anonymously and the reasons for this were elucidated by some of the enlightened bloggers.

PS:

Remember we filled in all our information in a book. Will the Captain of the Blogship be so good as to put details of all Pune Blogs and Bloggers on a Blog Post or on the Pune Bloggers Facebook Page – maybe a directory of Pune Bloggers so that the Pune Blogging Community can cement its relationship. To start with let us connect up on IndiBlogger and Twitter.

Till we the next Pune Bloggers Meet - Happy Blogging.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this book review. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

NB:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this story?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook

If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@hotmail.com

Twitter: @vikramkarve

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

LIFE IN A “NO NEIGHBOURS” APARTMENT - INCOHERENT RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED NAVAL OFFICER TURNED HOMEMAKER

LIFE IN A “NO NEIGHBOURS” APARTMENT

INCOHERENT RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED NAVAL OFFICER TURNED HOMEMAKER

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Unlike most retired naval officers who have settled down in Pune, I do not live in one of those crowded run-of-the-mill ex-servicemen’s “ghettos” that have mushroomed in the dense polluted concrete jungles of Kondhwa and beyond, in the rather out-of-the-way south eastern part of Pune towards Saswad or the proliferating colonies near Hadapsar, Mundhwa and Nagar Road towards Solapur and Ahmednagar.

In this respect, I am fortunate to live in a posh residential complex, a “gated community” located in Wakad, an upmarket modern cosmopolitan suburb of the spacious well-connected western part of Pune towards Mumbai.

Commonsense says that it is better to live towards Mumbai than towards the hinterland.

But the main reason we decided on this location is because my wife’s workplace is nearby.

In Pune, owning to the hugely chaotic traffic, commuting is the biggest problem, and it makes sense to live near your workplace. That is why we chose Wakad which is just a stone’s throw away from Hinjewadi. 

In fact, in peak hours, it takes less time to travel 100 kilometers speedily on the expressway from Wakad to Navi Mumbai than it takes to excruciatingly crawl just 25 kilometers across Pune to Kondhwa or Kharadi.

The traffic in Pune is so bad that an ex navy friend of mine, who had bought a home in the “ex servicemen’s ghetto” beyond Kondhwa, has recently shifted to Wakad, since he works in Hinjewadi Phase 2, and he found it very strenuous to commute to work and back every day. Just imagine, he has given his own house on rent and he himself lives in a rented house - what an irony. 

I always tell young naval (and army officers) who are retiring early and are going to work again for a second innings career that they must buy a house near their workplace. Since most of the industry in Pune is at Hinjewadi or in industrial clusters in the Western Part of Pune, it makes sense to look for a home in these parts. But if you (and your wife) want to fully take sanyas and totally retire and you love to spend your time reminiscing with like minded ex defence service families the auld lang syne way, then maybe those retired service officers colonies are ideal for you.

Life changes after retirement, especially if you are from the navy, army or air force.

Since we have moved in here, my life has changed.

After my retirement there is a “role reversal” – now my wife works and I am the “homemaker”.

Believe it or not – I am the only veteran ex defence services officer in our entire residential society comprising around 300 apartments.

Moreover, there are hardly any “retired” people living here either.

Almost all the residents are young upwardly mobile IT “Techie Couples” in their 20’s and 30’s who work in the nearby Hinjewadi IT Park.

The pros of living here are that this is a beautiful place to live in, convenient and well connected, and it feels good to be among modern urban youngsters.

The cons are that everyone calls me “uncle” and though everyone is friendly and courteous, there is hardly any social life as everyone seems to take the advertisement tag line “no neighbours apartments” quite seriously .

The work culture of the IT crowd is quite clear – slog on weekdays working late hours and unwind on weekends in malls, multiplexes, lounges or outdoors.

No one has time for a relaxed tête-à-tête.

I yearn for the company of old navy buddies to reminisce and discuss the “good old days”.

In army cantonments and navy residential complexes, there is a neighbourly culture and you can count on your neighbours to help you out in times of distress.

Out here, in modern urban cosmopolitan life, everyone is busy with their own careers and affairs resulting in a “keep to yourself” culture and you are all on your own, as I realized when my wife had a fall and I had to rush her to hospital.

However, there are pros and cons everywhere, and you have to take things in their stride.

After retirement from the Navy, after I have started dabbling in writing and blogging, my social circle has changed – Bloggers and Writers Groups, Literary Circles, Alumni Associations et al

Of course, I make it a point to attend meetings of the Navy Foundation and get-togethers at NDA and IAT, but, in Pune, such events are few and far between.

I always liked to spend time with myself.

I love my leisure.

So I quite enjoy my retired life in my “no neighbours” apartment.

I have plenty of time to do whatever I want – read, write, blog, tweet, surf the internet, watch TV or go on long walks in the verdant surroundings with my pet dog Sherry who is my constant companion or just peacefully sit under the cool shade of trees in the beautiful green park on the banks of the Mula River and meditate, reflect or hear music.

Well, after retirement, I quite enjoy playing the role of a homemaker.

I enjoyed my life in the Navy and now I am enjoying my life after retirement even more.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

NB:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013. All Rights Reserved

Did you like this post?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook

If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

Twitter: @vikramkarve

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

DO YOU LOVE YOUR HOMETOWN

DO YOU LOVE YOUR HOMETOWN

Monday Morning Ponderings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Pune is my hometown.

I love Pune.

That is why I settled down in Pune after my retirement from the Navy.

I have seen that Punekars love Pune, their hometown.

Many Punekars serve all over India during the course of their careers.

But one thing is unique for all Punekars – they all love Pune, their hometown.

That is why all Punekars settle down in Pune after their retirement.

This is the true test of whether you love your hometown or not.

If you settle down in your hometown after retirement - you love your hometown.

Those who love their hometown settle down in their hometown.

If you settle down in some other place after your retirement - you do not love your hometown.

Those who do not love their hometown settle down in some other place – they do not settle down in their hometown after retirement.

Please note – I am not talking of job relocation during the course of your career.

I am talking about settling down after retirement, after you have finally hung your boots.

Now, Dear Reader, tell me – DO YOU LOVE YOUR HOMETOWN ?

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013 all rights reserved

Did you like reading this post?

I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my book  COCKTAIL an anthology of Short Fiction.
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

Twitter: @vikramkarve

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

OLD AGE LONELY LIFE - Depending on the Kindness of Strangers

THE LONELY LIFE OF SENIOR CITIZENS
Marginalized, Lonely, Waiting for Death
Why do Senior Citizens Prefer to Depend on the Kindness of Strangers

Musings on the Plight of Middle Class Senior Citizens in Pune

By

VIKRAM KARVE

This morning, during my early morning walk, I passed by Mrs. J’s house. 

I saw J, an 80 year old widow, struggling to walk in her garden. 

I wished J good morning and asked her how she was. 

She answered: “I depend on the kindness of strangers.”

For a moment I was speechless. 

Then, slowly I let her words sink in and perambulate in my mind – “I depend on the kindness of strangers” – these words struck a chord. 

I was transported back in time, 30 years ago, to the year 1981, if my memory serves me right, when I had seen the play A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE which had a lasting impression on me. 

I witnessed a performance of the indigenous Indian Production of this 1948 Pulitzer Prize winning masterpiece by Tennessee Williams at the Kamani Auditorium in New Delhi directed by Alyque Padamsee with terrific performances by Dalip Tahil as Stanley Kowalski and Sabira Merchant as Blanche DuBois. 

I still remember the heart-rending scene, when, after being totally destroyed by Stanley, while being taken away to a mental asylum, a shattered Blanche holds onto the doctor’s hand and says: “Whoever you are – I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”.

Though the context in the play is different, I realized the universal all-encompassing truth encapsulated in those profound words, which were spontaneously uttered by J who I am sure has not read or seen the play A Streetcar Named Desire.

As I walk around our colony in Pune I realize that there are so many senior citizens living alone who “depend on the kindness of strangers”. 

In most cases their children live abroad in the USA pursuing their American Dream while their parents live a life of loneliness awaiting their deaths back home in India. 

Also, I notice that the longevity of women seems to be more since there are far more senior citizen widows who heavily outnumber the widowers.

Before you blame the “ungrateful and selfish children” for “abandoning” their “hapless” parents I think you must consider the fact that there are always two sides to a coin (or two points of view in a story).

Let me give you a bit of a background.

In the 1960’s and 1970’s, I lived in a “middle-class” locality in Pune where parents had two dreams:

1. First, their son must get into an IIT and go abroad to USA to realize the American dream and achieve “success”.

2. Second, they must get their daughters married to a “successful” American NRI so that she too could go the USA to live a life of prosperity and happiness there.

Many such parents, like J, achieved their dreams, for which they are paying the price today.

Even today, I see so many parents who are desperate to send their kids abroad for higher studies and to settle down there. 

In the earlier pre-globalization pre-liberalization days, it was difficult to go to America unless you graduated from an IIT or topped from a premier University. 

Today it is much easier to go abroad for studies or for work. 

Post liberalization in the globalized world of today, if you are willing to spend your money you can easily go for higher studies abroad or you can go there via the IT route by first going abroad to work onsite and then sidestepping into a job over there in America (Hence the beeline for IT jobs).

Then or now, the fact of the matter is that it is the parents themselves who encourage (and monetarily facilitate) their children to go abroad or inculcate congruent values that create in the minds of their children the urge to emigrate to America or some other prosperous country for a “better life”.

So who is to blame – the parents or the children?

I ask J, “Why don’t you go and live with your son or daughter in America? Have they refused to take you there? Are your children unwilling to have you live with them?”

“Far from it,” the old lady says, “my children want me to live with them over there and keep calling me to relocate permanently to America and stay with them. I have gone there so many times, but I don’t want to live there with them in America. I don’t like it there.”

I am puzzled. 

It seems very strange. 

Why should she prefer to live a difficult lonely life out here in India, full of hardship, when she can live a comfortable life of luxury in America with the best of facilities and healthcare and in the company of her children and grandchildren?

Why do so many senior citizens live alone and prefer to depend on “the kindness of strangers” when they can enjoy the evening of their lives exulting in the love and care of their near and dear ones?

Is it ego? 

Is it something else? 

Is there some other reason?

I don’t know. 

I don’t have the answer. 

Do you?

If you do have the answer, or wish to share your views on this subject, please comment and let us know.

And you better start thinking too about the evening of your life when you become 70 or 80. 

Do you want to live with your children?

Do you want to live alone and depend on the kindness of strangers?

Or are there some old age homes (retirement communities) which have assisted living facilities where you will be cared for and well looked after.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
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Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@hotmail.com

      

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