Showing posts with label belief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label belief. Show all posts

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Praisophobia – a funny “Phobia”

Why My Wife Never Praises Me

My Wife never has a good word for me.

Surely – I am not saying that I am an angel – a perfect husband.

But  neither am I that terrible a husband.

Surely – I have at least one good quality – or – surely  I have done at least one good deed in my entire life.

But - my wife has never ever praised me even once in our more than 36 years of married life.

The reason – my wife suffers from Praisophobia

Dear Reader: Do you also suffer from Praisophobia”...?

Do you know what is Praisophobia”...?

Let me delve into my HUMOR IN MARRIAGE” Archives – and post for you an updated and abridged version of an article I wrote more than 5 years ago in March 2013 on Praisophobia...

PRAISOPHOBIA 
A Funny “PHOBIA”
(Not to be confused with Prosophobia – which means the fear of progress)
Ramblings of a Retired Mind
By
VIKRAM KARVE 

PRAISOPHOBIA – MEANING AND DEFINITION

I have coined a new term – “PRAISOPHOBIA”

Praisophobia is the FEAR OF PRAISE.

Praisophobia is the fear that if you praise someone  then that person’s behaviour may change for the worse 

You fear that if you praise something  then something adverse may happen

(Praisophobia is not to be confused with Prosophobia which means “Fear of Progress)


PRAISOPHOBIA IN ACTION

Let me give you an example of PRAISOPHOBIA.

30 years ago  if you asked my wife what was the worst thing she did not like about me  she would unhesitatingly say that she hated my drinking and smoking habits.

In fact – my wife particularly disliked my love for drinking alcohol.

Yes  I must confess that I indeed loved to drink alcohol.

I had my first drink after I joined the Navy in the 1970’s.

I started enjoying drinking alcohol in earnest on my first ship – where the wardroom bar was well stocked with the choicest varieties of alcoholic beverages – wines, spirits, liquors, liqueurs, beers etc 

You name it – and the drink was available. 

Those days drinking was quite affordable  since the booze was duty-free on Navy warships.

And – along with drinking  we started smoking too. 

The main incentive for smoking was the attraction of the best imported brands of cigarettes – which we got at duty-free rates on Navy Ships.

I sampled and tasted all the types of choicest liquor available in the ship’s bar.

After experiencing all varieties and types of alcoholic drinks  I discovered that I liked two brands of liquor:

1. A Blended Scotch Whisky called Chivas Regal (which I drank in on board warships in the Ships Wardrooms)

and

2. An Indian Dark Rum called Hercules XXX Rum (which I drank ashore in Navy Wardrooms and Military Officers’ Messes and Clubs). 

We did not get duty-free liquor ashore. 

And – after developing a taste for Scotch Whisky  I found the Indian Whiskies of those days quite raw, coarse and rough for my palate.

In contrast  Indian Dark Rum was probably the best in the world  and famous brands Indian Rum like Hercules, Sea Pirate and Old Monk were particularly good and mellow.

Hey  I am digressing  so let me get to the point.

As I told you  my wife hated my drinking.

In contrast  I loved drinking so much that I used to eagerly wait for sunset  so that I could pour my first peg of the day.

As a rule I avoided drinking in daytime  since I did not enjoy it.

I drank quite regularly  almost every day  and  I am sure my wife was very worried that I may become alcohol dependent or even an alcoholic.

My wife religiously fasted on Mondays  and – I am sure she prayed to God that I should stop drinking alcohol.

Probably  my regular drinking was the biggest problem in her married life.

Then  all of a sudden  one day  I stopped drinking and smoking.

Yes  I quit drinking alcohol forever. 

On the same day  I also quit smoking forever.

This happened around 16 years ago in the year 2002  and since then  I have remained a teetotaller and non-smoker.

I thought that my wife would be delighted that I had stopped drinking and smoking.

Yes – I thought that my wife would be filled with joy that her prayers had been answered.

I expected that my wife would be happy and grateful that her alcohol loving husband had turned a new leaf and was living a life of temperance and sobriety.

In fact  I thought that she would be full of praise for me. 

However  since the day I quit drinking  my wife has never praised me even once for having the resolve and willpower to free myself from the clutches of alcohol  which I loved so dearly.

In my opinion  for an alcohol lover like me to have quit drinking permanently was a commendable act deserving of the highest praise  especially from my wife who hated my drinking habit.

Yet  my wife has never uttered a word of praise for my good deed  either in private or in public.

Yes  in all these 16 years since I quit drinking and smoking  my wife has never praised me for having given up drinking and smoking.

The reason – PRAISOPHOBIA

My wife is afraid of the consequences of praise

My wife feels that if she praises me  then I may start drinking and smoking again.

So Dear Reader: 

The moral of the story is this:

If you do a praiseworthy deed and someone does not praise you  then please do not get disappointed  and do not think that those persons are unappreciative.

Maybe that person suffers from Praisophobia.

Think about it. 

Do you suffer from Praisophobia...? 

Is your spouse afflicted by Praisophobia...?

Or – do you know someone who is Praisophobic...?

Have you observed Praisophobia?

Do tell us of your experiences with Praisophobia” and other such crazy phobias you have come across in your life.

Remember – if someone does not praise you for a good deed – just ask that person:

Do you suffer from PRAISOPHOBIA...?

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This article is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

Monday, June 12, 2017

How to Build Self Confidence – 7 Tests

ARE YOU A CONFIDENT PERSON
Check Out Your Confidence Level
By
VIKRAM KARVE
 
Do you feel confident...?
 
Does your self confidence depend on your mood...? 

Does it fluctuate from time to time depending on the situation or is it steadfast, unwavering and persistent...?
 
Is your confidence level the same in all aspects of your life...? 

Do you feel confident with all people – or does your confidence level depend on personal circumstances and who you are interacting with...?
 
Does a crisis situation or adversity shake your confidence...?
 
How do your perceive your own confidence level...?
 
How do others perceive you – do they feel you are overconfident or underconfident...?
 
Are you genuinely confident from inside – or do you put an act  a fake mask of buoyancy  and make a pretence of outward confidence...?
 
True confidence gives you a wonderful feeling of self-assurance, aplomb and dignity – and this is evident and can be seen in your poise and deportment. 
 
The hallmarks of a genuinely confident person can be encapsulated in seven distinctive traits

A truly confident person will possess a high degree of each of the seven attributes of confidence  so ask yourself these 7 questions and check out for yourself how confident you really are.
 

THE SEVEN ASPECTS OF SELF CONFIDENCE
 

1. DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF...?
 
You cannot be a confident person unless you love yourself.

Self-Love is the foundation of Self-Esteem which is a crucial sine qua non of confidence. 

How can you be confident if you are not happy with yourself, your very own body and your unique personality? 

Indeed the first step towards self confidence is that you must first love all aspects of your own self.
 

2. DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF...?
 
Confidence begins from within and when we love ourselves and do not seek the approval of others, we start believing in ourselves.

Self-Belief makes your fearless and enables you to cope with crises – because confident persons believe they have the power to handle their own lives – whereas unconfident persons who do not believe in themselves always look for support and assurance from outside – and they try to seek help from others to deal with challenges in their own lives.
 

3. ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF...?
 
To be truly confident  you must love yourself – you must believe in yourself – and  most importantly – you must be comfortable with yourself. 

Yes  genuinely confident people are happy in their own skin and comfortable with themselves, as they are. 

You must love who you are  you must not wish to be anyone else  and you must not seek anyone else’s approval about whom you wish to be. 

Truly Confident persons are immune from the DISEASE TO PLEASE – and do not succumb to the log kya kahenge syndrome.

Confident persons are natural leaders with a strong sense of personal belonging who feel secure with themselves and who don’t blindly follow others or conform for the sake of conformance, but who chart their own course and inspire others to follow them.
 

4. ARE YOU AWARE OF YOURSELF...?
 
Self-Awareness is a key aspect of confident persons as knowing your values, your strengths and limitations helps you in developing your personality, giving a direction to your life, enhancing your achievements and accomplishments and boosting your confidence.
 

5. ARE YOU FEARLESS...?
 
Confident persons are not paralysed by fear – they rather act first and be afraid later. 

fearless approach to life  willingness to take risks  to try out new things, innovate and experiment – and a pioneering attitude are hallmarks of a confident person.
 

6. DO YOU HAVE A THIRST FOR LEARNING...?
 
Truly confident people love to learn

They strive for continual improvement – and have a thirst for knowledge in order to achieve continual growth

They are innovative, creative – and try to make the most of their talents in order to realize their maximum potential – because they believe in themselves which gives them the determination, tenacity and sense of purpose to keep going even when others have given up.
 

7. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE...?
 
Confident persons are happy, here and now  as they are  with all aspects of their life in its entirety. 

They are content with whatever they have. 

Unhappiness and discontentment erode self-esteem and destroy your confidence. 

Happiness and contentment are a must for genuine confidence  and that is why confident persons always exhibit cheerfulness and optimism and generate positive vibes.
 
Many individuals are not very confident inside  and they lack genuine self confidence – but – they try to fake it – and they present an external picture of confidence by clever image management

But – trying to fake” self-confidence – this causes immense stress due to the fear of being found out 

And  sooner or later – such charlatans are exposed – or they suffer nervous breakdowns.

That is why you must strive to be genuinely self confident.

So introspect and check out for yourself – how many of these seven confidence attributes do you have...?  

Introspect on these 7 tests of Self-Confidence

Discover your strengths, find out how confident you really are and in which of these seven aspects do you need to improve. 

Dear Reader: 

I Wish You Tons and Tons of Confidence

And once you have achieved the desire confidence level, you can be your own hero and this will enable you to attain high SELF ESTEEM

I am writing about HOW TO BUILD SELF-ESTEEM in my next Blog Post... 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This article is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. Please do your own due diligence.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
 

This is a consolidated revised and abridged repost of my self-help articles including the following posted online by me earlier at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/self-confidence.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/03/self-confidence.html  etc