Saturday, June 30, 2018

Praisophobia – a funny “Phobia”

Why My Wife Never Praises Me

My Wife never has a good word for me.

Surely – I am not saying that I am an angel – a perfect husband.

But  neither am I that terrible a husband.

Surely – I have at least one good quality – or – surely  I have done at least one good deed in my entire life.

But - my wife has never ever praised me even once in our more than 36 years of married life.

The reason – my wife suffers from Praisophobia

Dear Reader: Do you also suffer from Praisophobia”...?

Do you know what is Praisophobia”...?

Let me delve into my HUMOR IN MARRIAGE” Archives – and post for you an updated and abridged version of an article I wrote more than 5 years ago in March 2013 on Praisophobia...

PRAISOPHOBIA 
A Funny “PHOBIA”
(Not to be confused with Prosophobia – which means the fear of progress)
Ramblings of a Retired Mind
By
VIKRAM KARVE 

PRAISOPHOBIA – MEANING AND DEFINITION

I have coined a new term – “PRAISOPHOBIA”

Praisophobia is the FEAR OF PRAISE.

Praisophobia is the fear that if you praise someone  then that person’s behaviour may change for the worse 

You fear that if you praise something  then something adverse may happen

(Praisophobia is not to be confused with Prosophobia which means “Fear of Progress)


PRAISOPHOBIA IN ACTION

Let me give you an example of PRAISOPHOBIA.

30 years ago  if you asked my wife what was the worst thing she did not like about me  she would unhesitatingly say that she hated my drinking and smoking habits.

In fact – my wife particularly disliked my love for drinking alcohol.

Yes  I must confess that I indeed loved to drink alcohol.

I had my first drink after I joined the Navy in the 1970’s.

I started enjoying drinking alcohol in earnest on my first ship – where the wardroom bar was well stocked with the choicest varieties of alcoholic beverages – wines, spirits, liquors, liqueurs, beers etc 

You name it – and the drink was available. 

Those days drinking was quite affordable  since the booze was duty-free on Navy warships.

And – along with drinking  we started smoking too. 

The main incentive for smoking was the attraction of the best imported brands of cigarettes – which we got at duty-free rates on Navy Ships.

I sampled and tasted all the types of choicest liquor available in the ship’s bar.

After experiencing all varieties and types of alcoholic drinks  I discovered that I liked two brands of liquor:

1. A Blended Scotch Whisky called Chivas Regal (which I drank in on board warships in the Ships Wardrooms)

and

2. An Indian Dark Rum called Hercules XXX Rum (which I drank ashore in Navy Wardrooms and Military Officers’ Messes and Clubs). 

We did not get duty-free liquor ashore. 

And – after developing a taste for Scotch Whisky  I found the Indian Whiskies of those days quite raw, coarse and rough for my palate.

In contrast  Indian Dark Rum was probably the best in the world  and famous brands Indian Rum like Hercules, Sea Pirate and Old Monk were particularly good and mellow.

Hey  I am digressing  so let me get to the point.

As I told you  my wife hated my drinking.

In contrast  I loved drinking so much that I used to eagerly wait for sunset  so that I could pour my first peg of the day.

As a rule I avoided drinking in daytime  since I did not enjoy it.

I drank quite regularly  almost every day  and  I am sure my wife was very worried that I may become alcohol dependent or even an alcoholic.

My wife religiously fasted on Mondays  and – I am sure she prayed to God that I should stop drinking alcohol.

Probably  my regular drinking was the biggest problem in her married life.

Then  all of a sudden  one day  I stopped drinking and smoking.

Yes  I quit drinking alcohol forever. 

On the same day  I also quit smoking forever.

This happened around 16 years ago in the year 2002  and since then  I have remained a teetotaller and non-smoker.

I thought that my wife would be delighted that I had stopped drinking and smoking.

Yes – I thought that my wife would be filled with joy that her prayers had been answered.

I expected that my wife would be happy and grateful that her alcohol loving husband had turned a new leaf and was living a life of temperance and sobriety.

In fact  I thought that she would be full of praise for me. 

However  since the day I quit drinking  my wife has never praised me even once for having the resolve and willpower to free myself from the clutches of alcohol  which I loved so dearly.

In my opinion  for an alcohol lover like me to have quit drinking permanently was a commendable act deserving of the highest praise  especially from my wife who hated my drinking habit.

Yet  my wife has never uttered a word of praise for my good deed  either in private or in public.

Yes  in all these 16 years since I quit drinking and smoking  my wife has never praised me for having given up drinking and smoking.

The reason – PRAISOPHOBIA

My wife is afraid of the consequences of praise

My wife feels that if she praises me  then I may start drinking and smoking again.

So Dear Reader: 

The moral of the story is this:

If you do a praiseworthy deed and someone does not praise you  then please do not get disappointed  and do not think that those persons are unappreciative.

Maybe that person suffers from Praisophobia.

Think about it. 

Do you suffer from Praisophobia...? 

Is your spouse afflicted by Praisophobia...?

Or – do you know someone who is Praisophobic...?

Have you observed Praisophobia?

Do tell us of your experiences with Praisophobia” and other such crazy phobias you have come across in your life.

Remember – if someone does not praise you for a good deed – just ask that person:

Do you suffer from PRAISOPHOBIA...?

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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Disclaimer:
1. This article is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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