How to Build Self-Esteem
Continued from HOW TO BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE
DO YOU HAVE SELF-ESTEEM...?
Musings
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Self-Esteem is much more than Self-Confidence.
The word “esteem” is derived from the Latin word aestimare which means “to put a value on”.
Thus – your “Self Esteem” is the “value you put on yourself”.
Your self-esteem is your conviction that you are uniquely valuable.
When you have High Self-Esteem – you will have the capacity to live creatively – stand by your values, beliefs and principles – and you will have the competence to accomplish something vital to your individuality.
Is it possible to assess self-esteem...?
How do you recognize whether a person has self-esteem...?
It is easy.
Persons with High Self-Esteem do not need to prove themselves.
Yes – if you have high self-esteem – you do not feel the need to prove yourself to the outside world – you do not need to prove yourself to others.
Conversely – persons with Low Self-Esteem will be observed trying to prove themselves – they boast – they put others down – they show off – drop names – speak excessively – and they always talk about their themselves and try to hog the conversation – they keep telling you about their achievements and display snobbish behaviour.
People with low self-esteem are extremely self-conscious about their appearance – and – they desperately fish for compliments.
People with low self-esteem are unduly concerned about what other people think about them.
They are desperate to create a good impression.
They may talk in an imperative tone of voice – they try to pull rank and emphasize their authority and show-off their status, position or wealth – they act in a boastful manner – they always seem “keyed up” and move around in an excited manner as if in a perpetual hurry “to get the job done” and try to “dominate” others.
Look around your workplace and among your friends.
If you observe someone behaving in this way – be sure that he/she has low self-esteem.
Close your eyes and recall some of your own interactions in the recent past – professional and social – at work and with your friends.
Imagine as if you have gone outside your body – and you are watching yourself from the outside as you interact and converse with others.
Reflect and Introspect:
Did you display any indicators of low self-esteem...?
Remember – an important internal indicator of low self-esteem is that you feel excessively self-conscious as you try to "prove yourself" to others around you – wondering what they think about you – and this sometimes causes you to feel internally stressed-out.
You can recognize individuals with high self-esteem by their body language.
When they speak to you – they make good eye contact – and they are relaxed, calm, measured in movement – yet firm and decisive.
A person with good self-esteem will exhibit a quiet confidence – and will not fish for compliments.
However – if you do compliment them – they will calmly say “Thank You” – and accept your compliment with politeness and humility.
They are honest, humble and modest – and are genuinely interested in other people and their achievements.
They do not bother about external recognition – as they have confidence in their own abilities.
Persons with high self esteem are always genuine and never “fake it”.
The bedrock of self-esteem is self-acceptance.
If you have high self-esteem – you will accept yourself as you are – and you will not indulge in “image management”.
Hence – you will never be afraid of being “found out” – since you will always project what you actually are – since you don’t have to “prove yourself” to others.
People with low self-esteem are always desperate to “prove themselves” to the outside world and impress others.
Such persons with low self-esteem often fall prey to “image management” techniques.
Since low self-esteem persons try to project an exaggerated or contrived (fake) image of themselves – they constantly live under the fear of being found out.
Do you want to enhance your self-esteem...?
It is simple.
Just start liking yourself.
First – accept yourself as you are.
And then – learn to like yourself.
Don’t bother about proving yourself to others.
Take pride in your individuality.
Be your own hero.
Start enjoying yourself – be proud of yourself – and when you feel you have done something good – don’t seek praise from others – but reward yourself for what you do – and praise yourself.
Remember to do this in all aspects of your life – at work and in your personal life as well.
Continual self-evaluation, self-acceptance and self-reward will produce a paradigm shift in your behaviour from being other-directed to being inner-directed.
As you build up your self-esteem – you will develop a strong sense of self.
You will start liking yourself – and you will start believing in yourself.
On the other hand – if you do not learn to reinforce yourself – and if you succumb to the temptations of “image management” to seek approval of others and get obsessed with “proving yourself” – you may slip and fall into the downward spiral of low self-esteem.
I will end by paraprasing a quote from Samuel Butler:
The advantage of doing your praising for yourself is that you can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
1. This article is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. Please do your own due diligence.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
This is a consolidated revised and abridged repost of my self-help articles including the following posted online by me earlier at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/05/how-to-enhance-your-self-esteem-accept.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/12/self-esteem-how-to-build-your-self.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/03/how-to-build-self-esteem.html etc
