Saturday, July 30, 2016

Do You Want a Personality Makeover

Do you want a personality makeover...?

Or – are you happy as you are...? 

Are you thinking of “image management”...?

Here is a story for you to read...


Are you comfortable with yourself...?

Are you happy and content as you are – physically (your body, your looks) etc – materially (money, possessions, career, “success”, “achievements” etc)...?

Have you stopped striving for “more” (of anything)...?

Are you living the life you always wanted to live...?

If this is so  then you do not need to read this article  because you are happy.

True happiness lies being comfortable with yourself – in being content with what you have and who you are. 

You are lucky (and enlightened).

You have reached a blissful state where you have stopped “comparing” and “competing”.

Comparison and Competition are two evils which are detrimental to happiness.

I have learnt that  if you want to be happy and content  you must live a non-comparative and non-competitive life.

Now  the converse is also true.

If you want to feel unhappy and frustrated  all you have to do  is to live a comparative and competitive life.

It’s that simple – you can take my word for it.

Tell me – what is the best way to feel miserable...?

“Compare” – yes  compare yourself with someone who you feel is “better off” as compared to you.

This comparison will create a sense of inferiority complex in you.

This inferiority complex due to comparison will  in turn  arouse envy which will urge you to “compete” with that person.

So – Comparison leads to Competition – and this spiral can go on and on endlessly – yes – “comparison” and “competition” are inextricably intertwined.

I do not understand why people keep comparing themselves with others.

Some even compare their own children with others’ children.

When I was in the Navy  I observed some careerist officers indulging in ruthless competition due to this comparison virus.

Even Navy Wives were afflicted by the comparison virus.

One Navy Wife was unhappy because her neighbour’s husband acquired a car.

Those days most Naval Officers had scooters/motorcycles – and  junior/mid-level Naval Officers could not afford to buy a car.

Another Navy Wife was unhappy because her friend’s husband was doing extremely well in his Navy career and he was deputed abroad for a prestigious course.

Many “laid back” officers were spurred into overweening unbridled careerism by their wives who had become competitive and ambitious after being infected by the comparison virus.

Comparison can also make you try to become someone else (the person with whom you are comparing).

You see someone with 6 pack abs  and you want to have 6 pack abs (though you are quite fit and healthy).

I have seen so many persons  men and women  who get obsessed with their external appearance since they always compare themselves with others.

Comparison happens at work, at home, in society, in families, in daily life  among friends and peers – people are comparing everything  animate and inanimate  their jobs, their salaries, their spouses, their children, their homes, their cars, their possessions  even their pets.

You compare  and you want to be like the other person – you may even want to be in the other person’s shoes.

You compare  and you want something belonging to that person.

You compare  and you stop being happy as you are.

You compare  and you are not content with whatever you have got.

Once you are infected by the virus of “comparison” – you will not be comfortable with yourself – you will not be happy with yourself as you are – and you will try to be someone else.

Do you want to be yourself...?

Or  do you want to be someone else...?

Here is a fable that illustrates the dangers of trying to be someone else.

A Fable
Narrated By 

Once there lived a Goat.

He was an ordinary looking goat – who lived wild and free in the mountains.

One day while grazing in the forest  the goat saw a Giraffe  and  the goat said to himself:

“I wish my neck was as long as the giraffe...”

Lo and Behold...!!!

The goat’s neck suddenly became as long as the giraffe’s.

Delighted that his wish had come true  and – that he could now see far and wide  the goat saw an Eagle flying high in the sky.

“I wish I had wings like that eagle...” wished the goat.

And instantaneously  wings appeared on the goat’s body.

Thrilled  the goat flapped its newly acquired wings  when  the goat suddenly he spotted a Tortoise.

The goat admired the beautiful hard shell of the tortoise – the goat said to himself:

“I wish I had a strong hard invincible body like the shell of the tortoise...” 

Instantly  his wish was granted – the goat’s back turned into the shell of a tortoise.

The goat felt ecstatic and impregnable  till he suddenly saw a sleek Cheetah speeding across the horizon running at high speed.

“I wish I had legs like the Cheetah...” the goat wished.

And  miracle of miracles  the goat’s legs immediately became like the Cheetah.

Now the goat was truly overjoyed – and – he was on cloud nine  till he saw the enchanting sight of a beautiful Peacock.

The Peacock – with his majestic feathers – was dancing magnificently.

“I wish I had gorgeous feathers like the Peacock...” the goat wished.

And  in a jiffy – the goat’s wish was granted  and  the goat now had dazzling copious plume of colourful feathers like the Peacock.

Adorned with the Neck of a Giraffe – Wings of an Eagle – Shell of a Tortoise – Legs of a Cheetah – and – Feathers of a Peacock – the Goat felt jubilant, supreme, regal and magnificent.

The goat felt on top of the world – and – the goat strutted around grandiosely in majestic pride.

A Hunter was passing by – and he suddenly saw this unique stunning creature. 

The Hunter looked at the marvelous creature.

He could not believe his eyes.

The Hunter stared in fascination and gawked enthralled at the sight before him. 

Was this an animal  or  was this a bird  or  was this a reptile...?

What a fantastic creature...!!!

The Hunter was totally mesmerized at this bizarre, exotic and fascinating creature – which he had never seen before.

After looking spellbound at the fantastic “Goat” for some time  the Hunter recovered his wits – and – he decided to capture this exotic priceless gem.

So the Hunter cast his net – and  he caught the exotic “Goat”.

Then  the Hunter sold this amazing “never-seen-before” unique “one-of-its-kind” exclusive creature at an astronomical price to the Zoo.

Large crowds gathered at the Zoo  and  everyone gaped in awe at this astonishingly exotic creature  fascinated by the awesome sight.

The exotic “Goat” spent the rest of his life in captivity locked up in a cage  weeping and crying.

He was filled with agony when he saw some ordinary looking goats wandering freely and eating grass outside the cage.

He looked wistfully at the ordinary goats  his erstwhile fellow brethren. 

These ordinary looking goats were wandering about freely and unnoticed in the zoo gardens  while the exotic beautiful goat was locked up in a cage.

The exotic goat wished he too were free to roam around like the ordinary goats.

The exotic goat wondered why the ordinary goats did not recognize him. 

Depressed at having lost his freedom  the exotic goat spent the rest of his life in captivity filled with sadness and remorse.

Yes – the carefree goat – thanks to his desire to be someone else – he had become so “exotic” – that he lost his precious freedom – and – the goat had to live the rest of his life in captivity.


Tell me – aren’t most “celebrities” in the same situation as the exotic goat – trapped in their image...?

This apocryphal story of the exotic goat – a fable – highlights the dangers of trying to be everything and exemplifies the ramifications of ensnaring yourself into the Beauty Trap (or Perfection Trap) of your own making.

Dear Reader – tell me – isn’t it better to accept yourself as you are rather than chase elusive dreams of “perfect beauty”...? 

Why are you not happy with yourselves as you are...?

These days everybody wants to be “perfect” in all aspects, physically and intellectually.

Everyone wants to have a “picture perfect” body – a shapely figure “perfectly sculpted” in all dimensions – and look “perfectly beautiful” – and have a flawless complexion – and be absolutely “perfect” – and to achieve this goal some are ready to do all sorts of things, exoteric, even esoteric, maybe even go under the scalpel.

Even spiritually – you are constantly chasing elusive dreams of happiness and enlightenment – becoming a “seeker” – trying to “improve” yourself – when the key to “self enlightenment” is inside you – waiting for you to look inwards and discover for yourself.  

Why are you are not satisfied with yourself as you are...?

Why do you want to have all possible qualities and attributes – intellectual and physical...?

Why do you try to “fake it”...?

Why do you try to wear a mask of pretence and develop “social graces” that are in conflict with your inner nature and basic personality...?

Why are we obsessed with the quest for perfection?

Remember that whenever you don't feel happy about yourself  you will get obsessed with improving yourself  just like the goat who tried to be everything and became an exotic” goat.

In his quest  the goat became so exotic” – that  he lost his own identity – and  most importantly – he lost his freedom.

If you fall into the perfection trap (or beauty trap) this can happen to you too  you will lose your unique identity  and  you will be trapped forever  and – you will lose your freedom


Let me give you a very simple example: 

Once you use hair dye to colour your greying hair black  you are trapped forever in the hair dye trap – and you will have to colour your hair for your entire life

It is the same with various other types of “beauty” makeovers and cosmetic surgery to enhance your beauty. 

Like “Hair Dye” – once you undergo various beauty makeovers and cosmetic treatments  it is very difficult for you to revert back to your natural image – and  you are trapped forever.


It is the same with all image management techniques  you will have to fake it all your life  and  you can never be your natural self.
It is always best to be happy with your own unique identity  albeit not so perfect  rather than try to be everything  and  in the quest for perfection – you lose your own natural identity.

Remember the story of the exotic goat. 



To sum up  the moral of the story is: 

Be Yourself

Yes Be Your Natural Self.

Be Comfortable with Yourself

Be Happy as you are

Do not compare with others.

Do not compete with others

Do not try to be someone else.

Do you agree...?

Do comment and let us know your views.

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

1. These are my personal views. Please do your own due diligence while selecting a philosophy of life.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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