Thursday, July 21, 2011


Musings on Marriage


Are you married?

Do you want to enjoy your married life?

Then do as I say.

First, get hold of pen and paper.

Now, on the piece of paper write down and make a list of things you like about your life. Close your eyes, think, introspect, and contemplate about those things that you enjoy and make you happy. Think of all aspects of your life – love, work, play, family, friends, entertainment, recreation, material possessions …

This list can include activities you enjoy doing. Hark back to your pleasant reminiscences and think of the joyful experiences you have had together and you will be able to identify the activities that produces happiness and a sense of satisfaction.

Now, ask your darling better half, your spouse, to do the same and make a “happiness” list.

Then sit together and compare your “happiness” lists and mark the common items, especially those activities which you can do daily or fairly regularly.

Now start doing these “happiness” activities together and confirm whether they actually enhance your happiness or not.

Maybe you have included some activities which you assumed would make you happy together but actually turned out to be unrewarding or stressful. Eliminate these activities from your “happiness” list.

Now make sure you do together the maximum possible “happiness” activities as frequently as possible, even daily if feasible.

Your married life will change for the better as your lifestyle incorporates a multitude of pleasant, happy and satisfying activities and happenings. With only limited hours in a day, the enjoyable events and “happy” activities will crowd out the mutually discordant, unpleasant, disagreeable and incompatible aspects, and your marital life will start resonating with harmony.

You will start experiencing the “much married” feeling, especially when you, your spouse and you, do things together, things which you both enjoy doing the most.

Now, Dear Reader, tell me what is it the thing that you enjoy most doing together with your spouse?

Apart from the obvious, it can be so many things – like watching a movie together, eating out together, going out for a drive together, cuddling up and watching TV together….any one of the so called “Quality Time” activities – spending Quality Time together.

Yes, togetherness is the essence of married life.

Now let me tell you what we, my wife and I, enjoy most doing together.

Well, believe it or not, we enjoy giving a nice vigorous bath to our pet Doberman Hound girl Sherry – that’s what we do on most Sunday mornings – together, husband and wife, we bathe our pet dog – and if the kids are around they join in too.

This technique works - you can take my word for it.

You don't believe me? So, Dear Reader, why don't you do try this out this "happiness list" technique and see for yourself whether it enhances the quality of your marital life and share your experiences with us.  I look forward to your feedback.

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Dear Reader, if you like reading short stories I am sure you will like the stories in COCKTAIL my recently published collection of 27 short stories about relationships. To know more, please click the link below:

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.


Deguide said...

Nice practical tips for enjoying married life, apart from the couch activity, we too enjoy attending to our female doggie Tia, which is aking to taming the shrew

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ Deguide - yes, apart from couch activity there are so many interesting things to do in a marriage!