Monday, July 26, 2010

Can a Husband and Wife Communicate Effectively

Husband and Wife

Effective Communication

Imagine that a husband and wife are driving one evening for a party and their car crawling at snail’s pace in the heavy traffic on the busy crowded roads of a city with terrible traffic like Pune. 

The car is waiting at a red traffic signal.
Suddenly the traffic signal turns green and the wife says to her husband, “The signal has become green!”
Now, in his mind’s eye, the husband can interpret this simple communication from his wife in a number of ways depending on his mental filters and reply to his wife accordingly.
One husband may think his wife means to say, “Can’t you see? The traffic light has turned green!” and he may retort angrily, “Of course I can see! I’m not blind!”
Maybe the husband may think that his wife is hurrying him up and means to say to him, “Come on, you slow-poke, hurry up. We are already late for the party,” to which the irritated husband may snap, “Don’t unnecessarily hustle me. Let me drive properly.”
Or a “hen-pecked” husband may assume that his wife has started off her nagging again and say irritably, “Stop your nagging and backseat driving – why don’t you drive yourself instead of passing comments?”
Now, in each of these cases, on hearing her husband’s remarks, the wife may either choose to remain silent or she may “appropriately” respond to the husband’s comments and give him a “fitting” reply, and the conversation will go on and on till more “heat” and less “light” is generated.
What if a husband just ignores the wife’s remarks, remains silent, says nothing? 

Well, the wife may interpret his silence in a number of ways depending on her mental filters, and accordingly say something to her husband again and the vicious “communication” cycle will continue.
Interpretation of communication, drawing inferences – it all depends on your mental filters, doesn’t it?
So, Dear Reader, whenever you converse and communicate, please avoid the usual “Stimulus-Response(SR) Paradigm, and instead try the Stimulus-Hypothesis-Options-Response (SHOR) Paradigm.
Think about it, the interpretation of communication depends on one's mental filters, isnt it? 

Do let us know your views.
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2010
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
VIKRAM KARVE educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU and The Lawrence School Lovedale, is an Electronics and Communications Engineer by profession, a Human Resource Manager and Trainer by occupation, a Teacher by vocation, a Creative Writer by inclination and a Foodie by passion. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. His delicious foodie blogs have been compiled in a book "Appetite for a Stroll". Vikram lives in Pune with his family and pet Doberman girl Sherry, with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
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