Sunday, July 25, 2010


Entry under topic:

Fiction Short Story

Every working day, sharp at 8 o’clock in the morning, a smart young girl of 24, a Software Engineer, leaves her chummery, a flat in Aundh which she shares with her colleagues, and walks down to Bremen Chowk to catch her company bus which takes her to her workplace in the IT Park at Hinjewadi in Pune.

This morning she does something different.

She leaves her flat at 8 o’clock, but instead to walking towards Bremen Chowk, she walks in the opposite direction towards Parihar Chowk and gets into a Volvo Bus going to Mumbai.

Half way towards Mumbai, while the bus crosses the Khandala Ghats, the smart young girl calls up her boss on her cell phone and tells him that she is unwell and could he please give her the day off to which her boss readily agrees.  

At 11:30 in the morning, she sits in a plush office, opposite her fiancé, a smart young entrepreneur, who’s made it big, and who owns an ITES company with business all over the world. They have been engaged just a week ago.

“What a surprise…!” the man says, “you should have rung up. I would have taken the day off…”

“Sorry…but I decided to come at the last moment…”

“Anything urgent…?”

“Yes…I want to tell you something…I wanted to tell you when we met before our engagement itself but my mother told me not to tell you…”

“Your mother told you not to tell me…?”

“Yes…she thinks you may break the engagement… but I believe that there is no place for secrets between husband and wife…!”


“Yes…I’ve told you everything about myself…but there is one thing I have not told you…”


“I was in love with someone…”

“Oh…a boyfriend…”

“It was more than that…”

“More than that…?”

“We eloped…ran away from home together…to get married…but they tracked us down the next morning…”

“When did this happen…?”

“Just after I completed my engineering…during my first job…three years ago…in Delhi…”


“Please don’t think anything…actually nothing happened…it was just infatuation…we ran away on a bike to Gurgaon…stayed for a night at a hotel…and next morning we were caught and taken back to our homes…believe me, nothing happened…nothing…absolutely nothing…I have not even seen the boy since…they sent him abroad…to the states…”

“And they sent you to Pune…?”

“Yes…they told me to apply for a transfer to Pune…where no one knows all this…”

“So your parents told you to hide all this from us…?”

“Mainly my mother…but I swear…nothing happened between us…it was just puppy love…I am still a …”

“Okay…okay…” the man interrupted, “I really appreciate your honesty…it is good you told me…but I already know all this…”

“You already know all this…?”

“Yes…we got a background check done…”

“Background check…?”

“Just a pre-matrimonial enquiry…”

“Pre-matrimonial enquiry…detectives…you put detectives after us…to check up on my past…?”

“Come on…it’s not that serious…just a small discreet verification…that’s all…”

“I am calling it off…!”


“Our engagement… it’s off… cancelled… I am breaking off our engagement…here… take this… take back your engagement ring…” the girl says angrily and she takes off the diamond studded engagement ring from her finger and keeps it on the table.

“Don’t be crazy…!” the man shouts, getting up from his seat across the table.

The young woman also gets up from her seat, looks into the man’s eyes, and says firmly, “No…it’s final…I cannot marry a man who does not trust me…!”

And with these words, the young smart woman turns around, briskly walks out of the man’s office, takes the lift to the ground floor, leaves the building, takes a cab to the Volvo Bus Stand and catches the Volvo Bus back to Pune.

The moment she sits in the bus she deletes the man’s number from her cell phone, switches off her mobile phone and puts it in her purse, and enjoys the journey back to Pune admiring the picturesque refreshing green scenery from the window as it begins to rain.

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2010
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work." linkindex="29">" />

I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts">HERE" linkindex="29">" />

I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts">HERE


TurbulentMind said...

wow..leaves us wondering..there is something more to it..damn, sequel please!

Vikram Waman Karve said...

Dear TurbulentMind,
Thanks for your comments. I'll think of a sequel. Thanks once again for your feedback.

Jaspreet said...

That was quite an unexpected end! I have the same question as Turbulent mind' there any sequel to it?

shail said...

Ahh I like this girl! :)

Anonymous said...

Vikram, Awesome story.. loved the way you said EVERYTHING in such few words... and it was really a SMART story.

Loved it!

Jzt4me said...

A Good one..and yeah, a very happening stuff these!!! But then, for that calling off, surely theres some other hidden motive behind that...A sequel would be perfect..hehe!!!

Avi said...

LOVE the flow! Short stories are the hardest to write- so much in so short a time, but I admire your finesse.

Hooks the reader on to it :)

All the best Sir!

Vikram Waman Karve said...

Yes, Shail, a girl with values and grit...someone suggested I write a sequel but maybe that will spoil the story...

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@Avi Thanks. i love writing short stories and reading them too. I wrote this one in less than an hour.

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ turbulentmind - I must write a sequel. Thanks for your suggestion.

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ Jaspreet Thanks. I'll try and write a sequel

TurbulentMind said...

You are most welcome! Thank you for finding my blog worth following :)

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ jzt4me on yes, there is always some hidden motive...guess it...?

Purba said...

One of your best Vikram, keep em coming!!!!

Someone is Special said...

Oh different plot expressed in a hidden way.. Great man..

I wish you a Good luck for the contest, Sleepy Sunday! Contest - I..

Do stop by Saravana Kumar M - Last Wish

Yours Frendly,
Saravana Kumar M

Unknown said...

Loved the story! Seems unfinished but perhaps that was the point!
All the best for the contest!

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ Hiyaa - yes, sometimes endings are best left unfinished...
@ Saravana Kumar - Thanks - all the best...
@ Purba - all the best to you - I loved your post. You too keep them coming...!!!

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ Purba - all the best to you - I loved your post. You too keep them coming...!!!

Pushpz said...

A very sensible move perhaps..the marriage wouldn't have worked anyways...a sequel is a good idea...wondering if she will ever get married unless she falls in love ... :))

Private Detectives Delhi said...

wow very nice keep it up and best of luck for next.

adarshs said...

wow....this was quite unexpected..leaves u wondering-Was he wrong? was she wrong? But to me it seems that maybe this was what the girl wanted throughout

ritupriya said...

whoa! that girl is SOMETHING! i bet she's a Scoepion :P
awsum story..loved the flow :)

ritupriya said...

whoa! that sirl is SOMETHING! i bet she's a Scorpion :P
awsum story...loved the flow! :)

ritupriya said...

whoa! that girl is SOMETHING! i bet she's a Scorpion!
awsum story...loved the flow :)

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ ritupriya - Thanks for your comments - yes, maybe she is a scorpio...!!! (or did you really mean scorpion - the one who stings...!!!)

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ PD - Thanks
@ adarshs - Hey, no one is wrong - it just happened
@ pushpee - that's a good point - wonder if she'll ever get married

deepa kashyap said...

oops i just regret for not coming here before.. well finally i am here otherwise i would have missed such a nice post.
loved the way the story flows :)
cheers !!
all the best for contest :)

Listen to your heart !!

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ Deepa Thanks. I loved your blog too - nice and cirpy - you express very well

Paul Swendson said...

She seems a bit hypocritical to me, although I guess that she was eventually honest. Would she have gotten so angry if she had revealed her secret after they were married, and he revealed his?

Unknown said...

i have felt uneasy after reading comments on ur short story....i find the guy was honest anf truthful in revealing about his background check just is the girls action..any ways story is worth reading ...ur blog is just amazing..!!!

Vikram Waman Karve said...

@ Thanks Arun - well this is just fiction

Krishno said...

Nice story and excellent way of telling and superb twist