Showing posts with label compatibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label compatibility. Show all posts

Sunday, March 31, 2019

How a Mango Can Save Your Marriage

How a Mango Saved a Marriage

Story of the Happily Married Couple

By

VIKRAM KARVE

The Mango Season is here. 

Here is a “Hapus” Alphonso Mango for you to relish. 

Mango Picture – Two “Cheeks” and One “Seed” in the Centre

We – my wife and I – we are experiencing the “much married” feeling – we were married on 30 May 1982 and we have completed more than 36 years and 10 months of married life. 

Every year – on our marriage anniversary – we cut a “Hapus” Alphonso Mango and share it together.

And – I tell my wife this “Mango Story” – which encapsulates the secret of a long marriage... 

How a Mango Saved a Marriage 

A “happily” married couple was celebrating the golden jubilee of their married life - the 50th wedding anniversary of their very happy and successful marriage.

Both husband and wife – both of them loved mangoes. 

So – they decided to start the glorious day by eating a delicious Alphonso Mango – first thing in the morning.

The moment she saw the Mango – the subservient docile wife thought to herself in her mind:

“For 50 years – I have always sacrificed my own desires – and I been considerate towards my husband. 

I always gave my husband the deliciously sweet “Cheeks” of the Mango – those succulent fleshy slices next to the skin of the Mango – which I love to eat.

And – I myself always sacrificed my desires – and took the “Seed” of the Mango – and I ate the sour Pulpy Part enveloping the “Seed” of the Mango which I don’t like to eat.

Enough is Enough...!!! 

Today – I am going to enjoy the delicious “Cheeks” of the Mango – yes – I will savour the heavenly sweet fleshy slices myself. 

And – for once – I will let my husband have the sour fibrous pulpy “Seed”...”

So – the wife cut the Mango. 

She took the sweet chunky slices of the Mango “Cheeks” herself.

And – she gave the sour pulpy “Seed” of the Mango to her husband.

The wife waited for her husband’s reaction with bated breath.

To her utter surprise – and contrary to her fears – her husband was very happy. 

Her husband kissed her hand and said to his wife:

“My Darling – Thank You so much. 

You have just given me the greatest joy on our wonderful 50th wedding anniversary day. 

For 50 years – I sacrificed my desires – and I never ever asked you for the luscious tangy “Seed” of the Mango – which is what I like the most. 

I quietly ate the insipid Mango “Cheeks” you always gave me – even though I do not like them – because I always wanted you to enjoy and relish the tangy pulpy Mango “Seeds” – which are so tasty.

Now – on our 50th wedding anniversary – you have understood and appreciated my sacrifice – and you have given me the “Seed” part of the Mango which I always wanted to eat for so many years...”

MORAL OF THE STORY

I am confused about the “Moral of the Story”.

Is the “Moral of the Story”: 

“Sacrifice” is the key to a long marriage 

A good marriage is all about mutual sacrifice and adjustment and consideration for your partner. 

In the Mango Story – the wife was desperate to “please” her husband – and – the husband did not want to displease his wife by frankly telling her his own likes and dislikes. 

So both husband and wife silently “sacrificed” their desires because they wanted to “please” each other. 

So – does this story imply a “moral of the story” that – in a marriage or relationship – you must go out of your way to “please” your partner. 

Is the “Disease to Please” a sine qua non for a successful marriage...? 

Is this the moral of the story...? 

Or – is the “Moral of the Story” something else...? 

For 50 years – the wife kept giving her husband the “Cheeks” of the Mango which she liked herself – and eating the “Seed” of the Mango which she didn’t like. 

Why...?

Why didn’t the husband tell his wife even once in 50 years that he liked the “Seed” of the Mango...? 

Is the “Moral of the Story” about better mutual communication in a marriage...?

It is all very confusing. 

So – Dear Reader – you figure out the “Moral of the Story” – while I cut a Mango. 

And – please do tell me – which part of the Mango should I give my “Better Half” – the “Cheek” – or the “Seed” of the Mango...? 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

 

This is a revised repost of a story I wrote many years ago and have posted online on my blogs a number of times including at urls: http://vikramwamankarve.blogspot.in/2010/03/disease-to-please-mango-story-food-for.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/05/mango-marriage-how-to-remain-married.html  etc

Sunday, August 27, 2017

How to Find a Compatible Husband/Wife – Numerology Approach

HOW TO FIND YOUR PERFECT MATCH – MARRIAGE COMPATIBILITY GUIDE

NUMEROLOGY and COMPATIBILITY
A Spoof
(Just for Fun)
By
VIKRAM KARVE

Most people say that my Wife and Me are the most incompatible couple they have ever met. 

Many of our friends and relatives wonder how we have managed to stay married together for more than 35 years.

Even our children are surprised as to how two individuals with such contrasting temperaments can remain together for so long. 

The fact that my wife and I have lived together for over 35 years implies that – though outwardly it may not seem so – inwardly – there must be some “mysterious hidden compatibility“ between me and my wife.

Sometimes – you have a fact of life before you that defies rational logic – like – the fact that we remain married for more than 35 years – whereas – logically – a terribly incompatible couple like us should have split-up long back.

My long years as an engineer have taught me that – if you unable to understand a phenomenon that defies logic – you have to work backwards – and you must try to find some reason to substantiate and “validate” this incomprehensible fact – and try to justify the “inconsistency”

I call this reverse logic or ex post facto justification. 

As I said – we – my Wife and Me – we are a terribly incompatible couple.

Yet – our marriage has lasted for more than 35 years. 

Therefore – I had to find some reason for this mystery.

That is why I took solace in numerology. 

And – hey presto – I was able to “prove” that we – my wife and I – are indeed “compatible” (at least on paper).

Dear Reader: 

Have a look at the Pythagorean Numerology Table below:





Now let us use this Pythagorean Numerological Table.

Let’s calculate the numerological value of my name VIKRAM 

(4+9+2+9+1+4 = 29 = 2+9 = 11 = 1+1 = 2) 

My numerological value is 2

Now – let’s compute the numerological value of my wife’s name POORNIMA 

(7+6+6+9+5+9+4+1 = 47 = 4+7 = 11 = 1+1 = 2)

Hey – my wife’s numerological value is also 2

The numerological values of both our names is the same. 

My number is 2 

My wife’s number is also 2

It is a “Perfect Match” 

No wonder we are such a “perfect match” – at least from the numerology point of view – so now we can “justify” our long married life.


WHAT TO DO ON YOUR FIRST DATE

Are you married..? 

Are you planning to get married..? 

Are you in love..? 

Are you in a relationship..? 

Are you dating someone..? 

Are you thinking of getting into a relationship with someone...?

Just check out your mutual numerological compatibility. 

Now you know what to do on your first date now – don’t you...?

Maybe it is a good idea to have some fun.

Check out your numerological compatibility – with your spouse – your dating partner – your friends – your loved ones – your boss – your colleagues – or anyone with whom you are planning a close relationship. 

Just use the simple Pythagorean Table above – and compute the numerological value of your names. 


NUMEROLOGICAL HARMONY

If you have a “perfect match” – it’s great. 

But suppose you do not have a “perfect match”.

No problem.

Do not worry if your numerological values are not identical (perfect match).

You can always hope for harmony in numerological values.

Even if the numerological values are in harmony (one value divisible by the other) – it is a sign of excellent compatibility. 

For example – if the husband’s numerological value is 3 – and the wife’s value comes out to be a multiple of 3 like 6 or 9 (or vice versa) – then they are in “harmony”. 

So – if you find out that your marriage “rocks” – be happy – tell your spouse and celebrate.

And – if your numerological values just do not match (inharmonious combinations like 2 and 7 or 3 and 8 or 4 and 9) – just don’t worry.

When in doubt – there is no harm in using means to justify the end.

Try out some other numerology system – like Chaldean, Indian, Arabic, Chinese, Hebrew, African, even Abracadabra – there are so many numerology tables, charts and calculators available. 

Keep trying all permutations and combinations – till you “discover” your mutual compatibility. 

And then – you can “validate” your marital compatibility – and be happy. 

That is the trick scientists do while doing “research”.

You just keep on trying all permutations and combinations – till you find a “justification” for your “hypothesis”.


DISCOVER YOUR MUTUAL COMPATIBILITY

Dear Reader: 

You can easily “discover” your “compatibility” with any person you want to by using this simple numerological method. 

Use this technique to convince your loved one about how “mutually compatible” you two are. 

Maybe – this will enhance your romance. 

Try it with your boss and colleagues too. 

Maybe – it will improve interpersonal relationships at work.

But here is a caveat:

Please do not use numerology as an excuse to “dump” someone.

Now – that is unethical – and just not done. 

And Hey – Dear Reader: 

Please do not take this spoof too seriously – I told you right at the beginning that all this is just for fun...!!!

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This article is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. While you can use numerology for fun – please do your due diligence in real life – since – to the best of my knowledge – numerology has no scientific basis. 
3. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Story of a “Vivacious” Woman with a “Boring” Husband

STORY OF A “VIVACIOUS” WIFE WITH A “BORING” HUSBAND
Short Fiction Story 
By 
VIKRAM KARVE 

“VIVACIOUS” WIFE LEAVES HER “BORING” HUSBAND

Pooja walked out of her marriage because she felt that her husband was a boring and dull man.

One morning – after her husband had left for work – Pooja packed her bags – called a Pune Mumbai Cab – sat in the taxi – and she went straight to her brother-in-law’s house in Mumbai.

Pooja loved her brother-in-law.

He was the “man of her dreams”.

He was a “perfect husband”.

Yes – for Pooja – her brother-in-law was her “role model” husband.

Actually – for Pooja – he was a double brother-in-law – he was her husband’s elder brother – and he was also Pooja’s sister’s husband.

It was a case of two sisters getting married to two brothers.

After seeing her elder sister married so happily to such a wonderful husband – Pooja had readily agreed to marry his younger brother when her sister had brought the proposal.

And what a big mistake she had made!

How could two brothers be so different?

Pooja’s husband turned out to be a most dull, dreary and uninspiring person – in short – he was a big bore.

In contrast – her brother-in-law was so much fun – he was the type of husband Pooja had always wanted – a fun-loving debonair gentleman.

Pooja’s sister was pleasantly surprised when her younger sister suddenly landed up at her place unannounced.  

But – when Pooja told her that she had walked out on her husband forever because she found him boring – her sister got worried – so she rang up Pooja’s husband – and told him that Pooja had come over to her place in Mumbai.

Pooja’s husband did not betray any emotion. 

He just told Pooja’s sister that it was okay – and that Pooja could come back to Pune whenever she wanted.

Pooja’s sister felt a bit uneasy and hoped all was well – though she knew that Pooja’s husband was a quiet reticent introvert.

But – still – Pooja’s sister sensed that something was wrong.

Pooja’s sister was wondering what to do – maybe she could ask her husband to talk to Pooja’s husband – after all – they were brothers – and her husband was the elder brother.

Meanwhile – knowing Pooja’s temperament – it would be best to remain silent for some time. 

So – they – Pooja and her elder sister – just sat and watched a movie on TV.

In the evening – Pooja’s brother-in-law arrived home from work.

He seemed delighted to see Pooja.

‘What a surprise?” he said to Pooja.

Then – he turned to his wife – Pooja’s sister – and he said, “I have got the cruise tickets.”

He took out a colourful folder from his briefcase – and he gave it to Pooja’s sister, “Everything is in there – the tickets, the programme, all details about the cruise ship.”

“Wow. Are you two going on a cruise ship?” Pooja said.

“Yes, this time we thought that we will take a different type of vacation,” Pooja’s brother-in-law said.

“How lucky you are,” Pooja said wistfully to her sister, “I haven’t had a single vacation since marriage – my husband doesn’t even take me to Mahableshwar or Goa. It is so boring sitting at home. He doesn’t want to go anywhere – not even to a movie.”

“Hey, Pooja – why don’t you come with us?” Pooja’s brother-in-law said.

“On a cruise ship...?” Pooja asked, in disbelief.

“We will have to ask Pooja’s husband before we take Pooja on the cruise ship…” Pooja’s sister said.

“I will tell him …” Pooja’s brother-in-law said to his wife.

“But how can we take her? You said the cruise was fully booked,” Pooja’s sister said to her husband.

“I will try and manage something...” Pooja’s brother-in-law said.

Then he turned to Pooja – and he said: “You pack your bags for a fantastic holiday.”

“Thank you so much. I wish I had a husband like you...” Pooja said to her brother-in-law.

“Oh, come on Pooja – your husband is a very nice chap...” Pooja’s brother-in-law said. 

“You are praising him just because he is your brother – but even you know how boring and dull he is... ” Pooja said to her brother-in-law.

“Yes – my brother is a bit serious type – but let me tell you that he is very good guy...” Pooja’s brother-in-law said. 

Pooja’s brother-in-law called up Pooja’s husband and told him that he was taking Pooja with them on the cruise liner. 


THE CRUISE

And so – Pooja went for a pleasure voyage on the magnificent cruise liner.

It was the best time of her life – the fun – the food – the entertainment – this was the kind of life she had always wanted to live.

Her sister and brother-in-law had a deluxe ocean view stateroom on the upper deck.

Because of the last minute booking – for Pooja – they could only manage a single bed cabin – deep down below on a lower deck.

Her cabin was not as luxurious as the stateroom – but Pooja was happy.

She spent the whole day enjoying herself on the upper decks – swimming, sunbathing, playing games – then wining and dining – savouring exotic wines – and relishing delicious food – dancing at the nightclub – and then trying her luck in the casino – it was like a dream come true.

For Pooja – these 20 days had been the happiest days of her life – the 3 week long luxury cruise on the sea – the shore excursions – and sightseeing visits to exotic places.

On the last evening of the cruise – there was a big entertainment event – it was truly awesome – the spectacular cabaret – the groovy dancing – the bubbly champagne flowing freely – the mind-boggling array of fabulous delicacies  – Pooja had never seen anything like it before.

It was almost midnight – and Pooja was feeling high – she was feeling quite drunk. 

All the champagne drinking and dancing had put Pooja in high spirits.

Pooja felt a bit dizzy – so she sat down on their table.

Her sister and brother-in-law were not sitting there.

They must be enjoying themselves somewhere – there were so many events going on the gigantic luxury cruise ship.

Pooja sipped more champagne – and as she drank more and more – she began to feel “woozy”.

Her head felt giddy – her stomach felt queasy – and Pooja felt as if she was going to vomit.

Pooja became anxious – she was terrified that she would make a fool of herself by throwing up here in front of everyone.

So – Pooja got up and started walking unsteadily towards the alleyway.

She felt there were two persons within her – as result of the baleful double personality that comes into being through drunkenness. 

The first persona acted as if without any brain at all – in a mechanical, vacant manner – and the second persona observed the first quite lucidly – but seemed entirely powerless to do anything.

In the alleyway – Pooja yanked open a door.

Though it was dark – Pooja could hazily make out that it was some sort of crew cabin. 

Hopefully – there would be a toilet where she could vomit out and throw up – and then freshen up.

In the darkness – Pooja searched for the light switch – and her hands found it near the door.

She flicked the switch – and the lights came on.

The astounding scene that Pooja saw instantly shook her out of her drunkenness.

What she saw shocked her so much – that she stood dumbfounded and dazed – totally stunned into a state of disbelief.

There was a woman. 

She was lying naked on the bunk. 

Garments of her dress were scattered all over the floor.

And – there was a man.

He was half-clothed – his head buried in the naked woman’s hair – his arms around her – and the man and woman were in the throes of passion.

The man was her brother-in-law.

The woman was the cabaret dancer she had seen performing on stage in the evening.

Disturbed by the sudden switching on of the lights – the naked woman looked up at Pooja.

Then – the naked woman shouted at Pooja: “Who the hell are you? Don’t you have any bloody manners? How dare you barge in like this? Don’t you know that you must knock before opening a door? Now shut the light and get out. And don’t forget to close the door.”

Pooja felt sick – very sick.

She could not believe what she saw. 

Dumbstruck – Pooja looked at the sordid scene before her.

Pooja felt awful.

Her brother-in-law – the “man of her dreams” – her “role model” – her ideal as a “perfect husband” – his image came crashing down – the whole thing was disgusting and nauseating.

Pooja’s head started to spin – her stomach started to churn – and she threw up – retching out her insides – and then she collapsed in a heap – wallowing in her own filthy vomit – and then – Pooja passed out, unconscious.

Next morning – they disembarked from the cruise ship – and they caught the evening flight to Mumbai.

It was early morning by the time they reached Mumbai.

And – almost immediately – Pooja caught a taxi to Pune – since she was desperate to meet her husband. 


“VIVACIOUS” WIFE RETURNS TO HER “BORING” HUSBAND

By the time Pooja reached her home in Pune – it was afternoon.

Pooja tried to open the door-lock with her key – but the her key would not fit – it seemed that her husband had changed the lock on the door of their house.

Pooja knocked at her neighbour’s door.

Pooja’s neighbour – an old man – who was also the landlord – opened the door.

The old man seemed surprised to see Pooja – and he said to Pooja: “What are you doing here? I thought you had gone abroad with your husband...” 

“Abroad...?” Pooja asked – totally stunned.

“Your husband said that you both were migrating abroad – and you had gone ahead to Mumbai to your sister’s place to make preparations – and he would be picking you up on his way to Mumbai airport...”

“When did he say all this...?”

“Why are you asking me all this? Don’t you know what your own husband does? Must be around 20 days ago – just after you left for Mumbai. It is surprising that you are asking me all this...”

“What about our luggage – the furniture – our belongings...?”

“What luggage...? He took some bags with him – the rest of the stuff – and the furniture – he sold off...”

“Sold off...?”

“Yes – the second-hand dealer came and took everything – and – of course – your husband was kind enough to give me 3 months rent for not giving me notice – though – strictly – I could have demanded only one month’s rent... ” the old man said.

“Are you saying that he has vacated the apartment...?”

“Of course he vacated the house – he said that he was going abroad for a long time – maybe permanently...”

“Permanently...?” Pooja mumbled mechanically – and her brain started to go blank – and she felt like a zombie.

Pooja does not clearly remember what she did for the next few hours.

Apparently – she was found wandering in a dazed state on the streets of Pune – and some good samaritan called the police – who tracked down her sister from her number in Pooja’s mobile phone.

Later – it became clear that Pooja’s husband had slam-dunked her – nice and proper.

Pooja’s husband had made all the preparations meticulously.

He had kept a job offer open abroad.

He had got all paperwork done and documents ready – closed the bank accounts – done everything discreetly – keeping Pooja totally in the dark.

Then – Pooja’s suddenly going away without informing him – was the “tipping point”.

So – Pooja’s husband quit his job in Pune – and he flew away abroad to a foreign land forever – leaving Pooja high and dry.

Yes – Pooja’s husband has truly left Pooja “high and dry”.

Her brother-in-law does not want her in his house any more – after that sordid episode on the cruise ship where Pooja had caught him “in flagrante delicto” with the cabaret dancer.

Through her sources – Pooja’s sister has located Pooja’s husband in a city in a distant foreign land – and she even managed to send him a message.

But – she has not told her sister Pooja.

Pooja’s sister has not told Pooja – because Pooja’s husband has made it clear that he is not coming back to Pooja.

Yes – Pooja’s husband emphatically said that he is not interested in Pooja any longer.

At present – Pooja is in no mental state to bear this tragic news – that her husband has permanently dumped her.

Pooja has still not recovered from shock of seeing the “man of her dreams” – her “role model” brother-in-law – in the most obscenely compromising position – “in flagrante delicto” – with the cabaret dancer.

Pooja is under treatment at an “institution” (euphemism for “mental hospital”)

Doctors say that Pooja is in no condition to bear any more distressing news or shocks – as this may drive her crazy.

So – they have not told Pooja that her husband has abandoned her forever – that her husband has left her to suffer her own fate.

In conclusion – you can say that: 

Pooja’s “boring” husband may have been “dull” – but he was certainly not “dumb”...

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

I had written this story called ROLE MODEL HUSBAND almost 4 years ago in September 2013 and posted it online in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at urls http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/09/role-model-husband.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/11/the-man-of-her-dreams-her-role-model.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/02/the-woman-with-boring-husband-and.html 
This story had a happy ending which seemed a bit contrived. 
So I re-wrote this story with a new ending and posting it online again with a new title THE PERFECT HUSBAND at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/the-perfect-husband-short-fiction-story.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/02/the-man-of-her-dreams-story.html  and I am reposting it once more on the request of a friend.