Mother and Mother-in-law – Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Sometime ago – I met a lady at a family get-together. 

Her daughter-in-law was dutifully following her all around – like the lamb in the nursery rhyme “Mary Had a Little Lamb”  

“Of course my son and daughter-in-law stay with me in our house – I believe in the Joint Family System...” the lady said when someone asked the daughter-in-law where she lived. 

Later – I met the lady’s daughter and her husband (son-in-law of the lady).

I knew her “in-laws” – they lived in Sadashiv Peth. 

“So – how is Sadashiv Peth...? I lived there in the 1960’s when I was a small boy...” I said to her (the lady’s daughter).

“I don’t live in Sadashiv Peth – I live in Aundh...” she said. 

“Oh – so your “in-laws” have shifted to Aundh...?” I asked. 

“No – my “in-laws” stay in the same old bungalow in Sadashiv Peth – but I stay with my husband in our flat in Aundh...” she said. 

Later – I asked the lady: “So – your daughter doesn’t stay with her “in-laws”...” 

“No. No. My daughter lives in her flat in Aundh. I advised her to stay separately – so she can enjoy her freedom – her “in-laws” are very old-fashioned – especially her mother-in-law – she will make my daughter’s life hell...” the lady said. 

I smiled to myself at her double-standards and hypocrisy – the “Joint Family System” was good for her daughter-in-law – but – the same “Joint Family System” was not good for her daughter.

And – I remembered a story I had written sometime ago.

Sometimes – Truth is stranger than Fiction – or rather – there is a very thin line between truth and fiction.

Read on...

JOINT FAMILY versus NUCLEAR FAMILY 

HYPOCRISY – A Story of Double Standards

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Part 1

JOINT FAMILY

“Is everything okay...? You don’t look well...” I said to her.

“I am okay, Sir – I am just feeling tired, that’s all...” she said.

“Tired…? Well – work has just begun…”

“My tiredness is not work-related, Sir…”

“Tell me – what is the matter…?”

“Sir – for me – it’s the long commute to work that wears me out – it takes me nearly 2 hours to get here to Hinjewadi from Kharadi – and in the evening – Sir – you know how bad the rush hour traffic is in Pune – it sometimes takes me 3 hours to get home – and then – even at home – there is so much work to do in the house – cooking, housework – I have to cook in the morning – and then again in the evening – sometimes I feel that I will collapse due to the exhaustion…” she said.

“Why don’t you shift nearby…? There are plenty of flats available in Wakad – just a 10 minute drive from Hinjewadi – you will easily get a good 2 BHK flat on rent well within your HRA – and it will be convenient for your husband too – his factory in Chinchwad is also a 10 minute drive from Wakad – in fact – there are some flats available for rental in my society – I will ask around – or – if you want – you can even buy your own flat in Wakad – I will find out…” I said.

“Thank you, Sir – but my ‘mother-in-law’ will not allow us to stay separately…” she said.

“Really…? Why…?” I said.

“Sir – my “mother-in-law” says that she believes in the “Joint Family System”…” she said.

Part 2

NUCLEAR FAMILY

Three years later – I met the same “mother-in-law” – yes – the very same mother-in-law of my erstwhile “Techie” colleague.

She was the same woman who believed in the “Joint Family System”.

By the way – I had changed my job – and – I was now working for another “IT Software Company” – also located in Hinjewadi.

Call it coincidence – but the woman’s daughter had recently joined my new company.

And – like her “daughter-in-law” – her daughter was also a “Techie”.  

It was the company anniversary function.

The woman’s “Techie” daughter had come along with her husband – and she had also brought her mother and father along. 

The woman smiled at me (the same woman who was the “mother-in-law” of my earlier colleague – and – the mother of my present colleague) 

I introduced myself – and I told her that I had earlier worked with her “daughter-in-law” in my previous office.

“So – like your “daughter-in-law” – your daughter too must be having a tough time commuting to work to Hinjewadi from the city every day…” I said to the woman.

“No – my daughter lives in Wakad…” the woman said.

“Oh – your daughter lives nearby in Wakad...? So – her “in-laws” – your daughter’s “in-laws” – they live in Wakad – is it...? I said.

“No – her “in-laws” live in their house in Model Colony – it is too far from her office…” she said.

I was baffled.

The woman made her “daughter-in-law’ commute every day from Kharadi – which was much further away from Hinjewadi than Model Colony – where her daughter’s “in-laws” lived.

“Model Colony is not that far away from Hinjewadi…” I said.

“Actually – it is not that – I did not want my daughter to stay with her “in-laws” – they are too “old-fashioned” – so I told my daughter and her husband to buy their own flat and stay separately…” she said.

“But – I thought that you believed in the “Joint Family System” – didn’t you make your “daughter-in-law” stay with you as a “Joint Family”…?” I said.

“That is different…” she said. 

I was susrprised – so I asked the woman: 

“Different…? 

What do you mean “different”…? 

You force your “daughter-in-law” to stay with you as a “Joint Family” 

But – you tell your daughter to live separately from her “in-laws” as a “Nuclear Family”…? 

I just don’t understand your views. 

Do you believe in the “Joint Family System”...? 

Or – do you believe in the “Nuclear Family System”...?” I said to the woman.

“You won’t understand these things…” the woman said – and she walked away. 

EPILOGUE 

Yes – I don’t understand these things – I just don’t understand the hypocrisy.

As a “mother-in-law” – she believed in the “Joint Family System” – and – she wanted her “daughter-in-law” to live under her command and she expected her “daughter-in-law” to serve her...

But – as a mother – she believed in the “Nuclear Family System” – and – she wanted her daughter to live separately from her “in-laws”...

I don’t understand why women have “double standards” – one yardstick their “daughters-in-law” – and – another yardstick for their own daughters.

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This fiction story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Abridged and Revised Version of my Story HYPOCRISY posted online earlier by me Vikram Karve on January 25, 2016 in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/01/hypocrisy.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/02/joint-family-versus-nuclear-family.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/family-humor-joint-family-versus.html