Saturday, March 25, 2017

Life Management Made Simple – “Not To Do” and “Not To Meet” Lists

“TO DO” or “NOT TO DO”    TO MEET” or “NOT TO MEET”
Life Management Made Simple 
By
VIKRAM KARVE 


“TO DO” LIST  

When I was in the Navy  I always had a “to do” list or a “slop chit” (in Naval Parlance).

It was standard Naval Practice for Navy Officers to carry a “slop chit” in their pocket at all times  especially in work-intensive appointments like those on board Warships and in Naval Dockyards.

At the start of the day  we wrote down all the jobs to be done on the “slop chit”.

When a task was completed  we struck off that entry – and whenever there was a new job to be done  we added that job to the “slop chit”.

The tasks which remained incomplete at the end of the day  we transferred to the next day’s page.

I am sure you maintain such “to do” lists too – nowadays you can maintain these “slop chits” in digital form on your mobile cellphone, smartphone, ipad, tablet – or on your laptop too.

At work  these “to do” lists are obligations you have to perform in return for the money your employer pays you as salary.

Sometimes, the “obligations” can be non-monetary too – like marital obligations towards your spouse – or familial obligations towards your family, children, parents or relatives  or a commitment you have made to someone.

In short  “to do” lists are related to “obligations”.


“NOT TO DO” LIST

Now that I have retired  I have a “not to do” list.

Now  for a Veteran like me – there is no need for a “to do” list as far as “work” is concerned.

Once you retire  you don’t work for anyone – you do not have an employer who pays you money – so you have no obligations as far as “work” is concerned.

There is no “job” for you to do – and hence  there is no need to maintain a “slop chit” or “to do” list as far as “work” is concerned.

In most cases  by the time you retire  your children have “flown away” from your nest – so you do not have any parenting responsibilities either.

Yes  even after retirement  you may have some “bare minimum inescapable obligations – like essential daily chores, paying bills etc.

In India  even after retirement  they hassle you with sundry issues.

For example  all pensioners have to visit their banks in November every year to render a “life certificate” in person in order to prove that they are alive.

Various types of bills and taxes are to be paid, returns are to be filed, banking work has to be done  but you can reduce these to the bare minimum inescapable requirements.

You must try to delegate these tasks to someone else.

Or you can use information technology to do these tasks online with minimal effort.

To put it in a nutshell  once you retire  your aim should be to minimize these sundry tasks to bare minimum.

Now  once you have reduced these so-called “inescapable” tasks to the bare minimum  almost zero  then you will find there is no need to maintain a daily “slop chit” or a “to do list” for these very few “inescapable” tasks.

However  in order to enjoy bliss  you must make sure you do not get tied down in unnecessary “obligations” which will eat into your time (like Parkinson’s Law).

In fact  after retirement  what you must do every day  is to maintain a daily “not to do” list.

Yes  you must maintain a “not to do” list.


“TO DO” or “NOT TO DO” – The Secret of Blissful Retirement

After retirement  you are supposed to enjoy a peaceful and blissful retired life “doing nothing”.

Every person has a different concept of how to enjoy “blissful retirement”.

I like to spend my time reading, writing, blogging, social networking, watching TV and taking long walks – especially food-walks.

Some of my ex “fauji” friends like to play golf every morning followed by chilled beer with their Navy buddies talking of the “good old days”.

There is a crazy guy who is enjoying his retired life indulging in adventure sports  despite his age.

Some like to spend their time indulging in spiritual activities.

Others travel  many take up a hobby  and some involve themselves in social activities.

Everyone has different ideas of “Bliss” – “to each his own bliss  as they say.

I know what “blissful retirement” means for me.

You know what “blissful retirement” means for you.

Every individual knows his or her idea of Bliss.

So  after retirement  “blissful retirement” will be the only item on your daily “slop chit” or “to do” list.

Yes  after retirement  ideally  there will be just one item on your “to do” list  to enjoy BLISSFUL RETIREMENT.

Thus  there is no need for you to maintain an exhaustive “to do” list.

Now  you have only one “to do” item in your life – to enjoy blissful retirement.


“NOT TO DO” LIST

In order to enjoy retirement  what you must maintain is a “not to do” list.

Your “not to do” list will include all those activities which impede or interfere with the enjoyment of “blissful retirement”.

Whatever hassles you – those burdensome but unnecessary obligations and activities which waste your time and cause you stress – just put them on your “not to do” list.

I have realized that  after retirement  what you decide “not to do” is more important than what you decide “to do”.

The “not to do” list need not be not restricted to activities alone.

You must have a “not to do” list for people too

Maybe v you can call it a “not to meet” list.

Yes  your “not to do” list must include a “not to meet” list as well.


“NOT TO MEET” LIST

Let me give you a simple example of “not to meet” situation from my life.

Long back  in the Navy  I once had a “toxic” boss who I did not like.

This boss hassled me  and he induced stress in me.

Our “vibes” just did not match.

Even being in his company was stressful for me.

Now  this boss had decreed that he would have a meeting at 9 AM every morning.

He wanted everyone  including me  to be present.

Since I was working in the Navy  I had no choice but to put the 9 AM meeting on the “to do” list  though I would rather have this painful morning meeting with the boss on my “not to do” list.

In the morning  this boss would ask us about our work  and then micromanage  ordering us to report on progress from time to time  and though I hated it  I had to put all this on my “to do” list – the progress reports which entailed meeting or speaking to the boss – which I hated to do.

So  after meeting the bare minimum inescapable requirement of the morning meeting – I put my boss (and other “toxic” types) on my “not to meet” list – and – I adopted a series of evasive measures to discourage the boss from meeting me.

After some time  the boss got the message and he stopped trying to micromanage me or monitor me – he would never call me  unless there was a real emergency.

It is best to put people who hassle you on your “not to meet” list.

Now  I have retired  I am my own boss  and I am a free bird.

There is no obligation for me to meet anybody.

I can decide who I want to meet  and who I do not want to meet. 

So now I have a “not to meet” list of toxic people I do not wish to meet.


MAKE TWO LISTS  – “NOT TO DO” LIST and “NOT TO MEET” LIST

Yes – you must make two lists:

1. What you do not want to do  you must put on your “not to do” list.

2. The persons whom you do not want to meet  you must put on your “not to meet” list.


FREE CHOICE – “TO DO” or “NOT TO DO” 

Similarly  just before retirement  I was a Professor  and my “to do” list comprised the lecture assignments and guidance of research work which were an “obligation” – since I was paid a salary.

Now  after retirement  I am often invited to deliver guest lectures and conduct training programs – but since I am under no obligation – I am free to decide whether “to do” or “not to do”.

And  if I decide “to do” – then I do so on my own terms.


WHY WAIT FOR RETIREMENT...?

WHY NOT HAVE “NOT TO DO” and “NOT TO MEET” LISTS RIGHT NOW

I will let you in on a secret.

I had started practicing this “not to do” and “not to meet” strategy long back in the early stages of my career – albeit covertly and tactfully.

How did I manage “not to do” and “not to meet” lists during my career...?

Those tricks I will tell you some other time  but I am sure you can use your ingenuity to devise your own techniques.

For example  in order to make your “not to do” and “not to meet” strategy succeed  you may have to project an “abrasive personality – and  you may have to practice “creative incompetence”.

As you grow wiser with experience  you will realise that the “not to do” and “not to meet” lists are closely intertwined.

So  you need not wait for retirement to make your first “not to do” and “not to meet” lists.

You can do it right now.

During your career you will have to be a bit canny while practising this – I could do it in the Navy.

Of course  once you retire you can do it brazenly.

So  Dear Reader  why don’t you start right now...?

Every morning  instead of a “to do” list  you must make a “not to do” list.

Of course  like I said earlier  the “not to do” list must include “not to meet” list as well.

Decide what “NOT TO DO” rather than what “TO DO”

Decide who “NOT TO MEET” rather than who “TO MEET” 

Implement this daily life management strategy – and you will see your efficiency rise  your mood become better  and  your stress will disappear.

As I said earlier  you will realize that  deciding what “not to do” may be more beneficial rather than deciding what “to do”.

Dear Reader: 

Why don’t you try this out – and tell us about your experiences – did it simplify your life...?

VIKRAM KARVE
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All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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