Good Mother – Bad Wife

GOOD MOTHER BAD WIFE

Parenting Priority vs Conjugal Relationship 

Musings

By

VIKRAM KARVE

A friend said in disgust, “I am fed up of my wife,”

“Why?” I asked, “your wife is quite good.”

“Oh, yes, she is quite good,” he answered, “She is a good mother but a bad wife.”

Then, he told me his sob story.

Both his kids had settled abroad, in the USA.

And since they had got married, they kept on calling his wife over there to do “Nanny” duty.

When his daughter got pregnant she summoned her mother to America to look after her during her pregnancy days and after her delivery she wanted her mother to stay on till the baby was a year and a half old.

My poor friend was left to fend for himself for nearly two years.

The same thing happened when his daughter-in-law delivered a baby.

Since the daughter-in-law’s mother could not stay for more than six months, his son emotionally blackmailed his mother to come over for “Nanny” duties till his baby was old enough for day care since the daughter-in-law wanted to get back to work.

Now the same story was being repeated as his daughter was pregnant for the second time.

Once a man is married for a long time it becomes difficult for him to stay without his wife for long duration.

Yes, it is very painful for a “much married” husband (or wife) to be forced to live the life of a “married bachelor”.

“Why can’t our Indian girls be tough like American women when they go over there to America...? Do they ask for their mothers to come and live with them to look after their babies...?” he said in anger.

“Our girls are very shrewd. They want the “best of both worlds”. Indian youngsters want to go to America for the money and good life – but they want Indian style comforts and lifelong parenting. Indian migrants to America want US Citizenship – but they are reluctant to adopt the American way of family life. So – pregnant NRI women want their mothers to come to America and look after them and their small children. They don’t realize that they are ruining their parents’ married life.”

I have seen many such women who are good mothers and bad wives.

“Good Mother – Bad Wife”

or to put it a bit mildly:

“Most Women are Good Wives – but – they are Better Mothers”

Now, as I look around me, I find that this is true in most cases, at least among the middle-class families of Pune.

For most married women, the priorities are quite clear: 

“Children come First – Husbands afterwards”

“Parenting Priority” takes precedence over “Conjugal Relationship”

Marital Sacrifice is the order of the day.

Yes – most mothers are ready to sacrifice their marriages for the sake of their children. 

Dear Reader: Do you agree...? 

VIKRAM KARVE

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1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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This is a abridged version of my story PARENTING PRIORITY versus MARITAL SACRIFICE posted online by me earlier a number of times in my blogs including at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/01/why-ruin-your-marriage-for-sake-of-your.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/04/good-mother-bad-wife.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/06/the-najuk-nri-girls-from-pune.html and http://vikramwamankarve.blogspot.in/2006/10/best-of-both-worlds-short-story-by.html and http://creative.sulekha.com/my-favourite-short-stories-part-48-best-of-both-worlds_543369_blog etc