Monday, July 4, 2016

Humor in Uniform – Human Resource (HR) Management

Humor in Uniform

Human Resource (HR) Management

Story of the Unwanted Officer
HUMAN RESOURCES DESTRUCTION (HRD)
A Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE

A Senior Officer was posted to the premier Naval Dockyard.

This Senior Officer had never served in the Dockyard – but his dreadful reputation preceded him.

He was known to be a terrible bullshitter  and – it was rumored that he was a cruel sadist.

It did not help matters when one of his “victims” went around spreading stories of his ruthlessness and sadism  and the victim officer complained bitterly in public to one and all: 

“He is a terrible fellow. He screwed the hell out of me for one year  he made my life miserable  and then  on top of it  he screwed my ACR (Annual Confidential Report). The sadistic bugger made sure that I was superseded and passed over for promotion.”

When the word spread that the incoming Senior Officer was likely to be posted to the “elite” Production Division  key Production Managers refused to work under him.

The Managers openly stated that they would put up formal requests for transfer if that Senior Officer was put on top of them.

Even the incoming Senior Officer’s course-mates and peers seemed apprehensive that his arrival would disturb the harmony of the workplace.

They rang up the “powers-that-be” requesting that his transfer be cancelled.

But they were told that since Dockyard was a “criteria appointment” for Technical Officers  and since the Senior Officer had never served in Dockyard in his entire career  they had to give him an appointment in Dockyard to make him eligible for his next promotion.

The General Manager observed the increasing discontent spreading among his Managers about the incoming Senior Officer. 

So  the General Manager went to the Admiral Superintendent to seek his advice on what to do with this unwanted incoming Senior Officer. 

“Send him to HR...” the wise old Admiral advised.

“Send him to HR...? Sir  you want to send him to Human Resource Development...?” the GM exclaimed, taken aback.

“Yes. I have heard that he is a pain in the arse” and he has got poor people skills. It is best to send him to HR...” the Admiral said.

“Are you sure, Sir...? the GM asked the Admiral – since the GM thought that the Admiral was joking. 

But – the Admiral was not joking.

The wise old Admiral looked at the GM and said matter-of-factly: 

“Yes. I’m sure. Send him to HR. It is safest to keep him in HR – since he will be able to cause the least amount of damage if he is over there in HR...” 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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Disclaimer:
1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

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