Is Longevity a Curse...?

Earlier – I thought that longevity was a boon. 

Now – after seeing the plight of elderly senior citizens – in their 80’s and 90’s – especially old lonely infirm widows waiting for death – I am beginning to change my views – and – I feel that longevity is more of a curse than a boon. 

All this made me remember a story I had written 2 years ago – in July 2014 – after a visit to an uncle.

LONGEVITY – A BOON or A CURSE

Musings of a Retired Mind

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Sometime ago – I visited a distant relative – an uncle.

I had last met him around 35 years ago – when I was a young navy bachelor – and – I used to visit his house in Mumbai – where he worked and lived.

Now – he was 75 years old – and he was living in Pune.

He was not in the best of health – he was a heart patient – he had undergone an open heart surgery a few years ago – he could not hear properly – he was almost deaf – and he had the usual old age ailments like knee pain, blood pressure etc.

His wife – 72 – a diabetic – was not in the best of health too.

They had two daughters – 50 and 48 – both married and settled abroad in America (USA) – and 4 grandchildren – all in their 20’s.

“Why don’t you live with your daughters in the US...?” I asked.

“We did,” the old man said, “we used to visit our daughters often – and – after I retired 15 years ago – we even relocated to America and we had decided to stay in the US permanently – but we had to come back to India.”

“You had to come back to India...? Why...?” I asked.

“To look after my mother-in-law...” he said.

“You came back to look after your mother-in-law...?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes. My mother-in-law is bedridden and she is sleeping in the other room. She is 93 years old. My wife is the only child – and there is no one to look after her mother as she was widowed long back – and her only brother died 10 years ago. We cannot even take her with us to America because – even if they do allow it – my bedridden mother-in-law is in no condition to travel abroad. We are stuck here. Do you know that we haven’t visited our daughters in America for the last 10 years because we can’t leave my mother-in-law alone...? So – our daughters come here once a year to visit us. And – as you can see – even we are not in the best of health...” my uncle said.

“It must be very demanding looking after your mother-in-law...?” I said.

He said angrily: “Demanding...? I am so fed up – that I am just waiting for her to … ”

I looked up and I saw why my uncle had interrupted his sentence – his wife had come in with the tea tray.

On my way home – I thought about it.

Till what age are you expected to look after your parents...?

Earlier – parents died in their 60’s and 70’s – when their children were still working – at least before the children retired.

But now – with increasing longevity – with many people living well into their 80’s – and even into their 90’s – and – you are expected to look after your parents even when you yourself have retired and become a senior citizen – and you need to be looked after.

Yes – you have to look after your parents at a time when you yourself need to be looked after. 

Senior Citizens are expected to look after “Super Senior Citizens”.

Like my uncle and his wife – who themselves were 75 and 72 – and – despite their old age and poor health – they were required to look after the 93 year old mother-in-law.

So – even in your old age – you may have to look after your parents and in-laws.

And – like in my uncle’s case – if your children migrate abroad – there will be no one to look after you in your old age if you remain in India. 

This makes me wonder:

Is Longevity a Boon...?

Or – is Longevity a Curse...? 

EPILOGUE 

I wrote this story 2 years ago in July 2014.

My uncle’s mother-in-law passed away one year ago in 2015.

“Liberated” from the “shackles” of looking after the old woman – my uncle and his wife have gone abroad to live with their NRI children who are well settled in the US.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. These are my personal views based on my observations. The reality may be different. This is just food for thought and should be taken in the right positive spirit.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

  

Revised Re-post of my article posted by me online earlier at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/longevity-boon-or-curse.html

THE INTENSIVIST

THE INTENSIVIST

A Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

The doorbell rang.

It was my friend – the ‘intensivist’.

Now – I am sure you know that an ‘intensivist’ is a doctor who specializes in the care of critically ill patients – usually in an Intensive Care Unit (ICU).

My intensivist doctor friend was in-charge of the ICU of the best hospital in town.

“I need a drink,” my friend, the intensivist, said.

I poured him a drink – and I asked him, “everything okay?”

“A strange thing happened today,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Last week – around 6 days ago – two critically ill patients were admitted to the ICU – they were both put on ventilator – I will not bore you with details of their illness – but both of them had exactly the same symptoms – and both were in very bad shape – on the verge of death,” he said.

“Old…?”

“Yes – old men – both more than 80 years old…”

“The first patient had a continuous stream of visitors – relatives – friends – well-wishers – there was always a minimum of 3 people waiting on him round the clock – sometimes even more – he seemed to be very popular and loved by so many...”

“Really…?”

“His entire family – his children – his grandchildren – he even had a great-granddaughter – they were constantly by his side in the hospital – he loved them all so much – whenever I looked at him – I could see that he had a great desire to live – in fact – when I spoke to him when he was slightly better – he asked me for a quick discharge from hospital – because he wanted to go home to his family – yes – I could see that he desperately wanted to live – and the huge number of people who visited him – all  his well-wishers – they all wanted him to get better and live a long life…”

 And what about the second patient…?”

“I was about to tell you that – the second patient had no visitors – not a single person came to visit him in hospital for all these 7 days…”

“Not even a single visitor – how is that possible – does he not have any relatives, friends…?”

“He is a widower – and both his children are settled abroad in America…”

“He has no relatives over here…?”

“Apparently not – most of his folks seem to be dead – and the younger relatives are all settled abroad – well – he was living in one of those high-falutin old age homes…”

“That’s sad…”

“Yes – he was very lonely and depressed – he once spoke to me – and he told me that he wanted to die – that he did not want to live anymore…”

“What happened…? Did he die…?”

“No – he became better – and today we sent him out of the ICU into the general ward – it seems he may be discharged in a few days…”

“And the second patient – the old man with lots of visitors – what happened to him…?”

“He died this morning…”

“That’s sad – all his well-wishers must have been distressed…”

“Yes – there was a pall of gloom when we declared him dead – terrible scenes of sadness as his heartbroken family was overcome with sorrow – everyone was crying – grief-stricken, inconsolable…”

I saw tears well up in the eyes of my intensivist friend – so I said, “Come on – you are a doctor – you shouldn’t get so emotional…”

My intensivist friend looked at me and said, “It’s a strange irony, isn’t it…?”

“What…?”

“The man who wanted to live – he died. And the man who wanted to die – he survived – and he will continue to live the lonely unhappy life that he does not want to live…”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

LONGEVITY – A BOON or A CURSE

LONGEVITY – A BOON or A CURSE

Musings of a Retired Mind

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Sometime ago I visited a distant relative, an uncle.

I had last met him around 35 years ago, when I was a young navy bachelor and I had visited his house in Mumbai where he worked and lived.

Now, he was 75 years old, and he was living in Pune.

He was not in the best of health – he was a heart patient, he had undergone an open heart surgery a few years ago, he could not hear properly and was almost deaf, and he had the usual old age ailments like knee pain, blood pressure etc.

His wife, 72, a diabetic, was not in the best of health too.

They had two daughters, 50 and 48, both married and settled abroad in America, and four grandchildren, in their 20’s.

“Why don’t you live with your daughters in the US?” I asked.

“We did,” the old man said, “we used to visit our daughters often, and, after I retired 15 years ago, we even relocated to America and had decided to stay in the US permanently, but we had to come back to India.”

“You had to come back? Why?” I asked.

“To look after my mother-in-law,” he said.

“You came back to look after your mother-in-law?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes. She is bedridden and she is sleeping in the other room. She is 93 years old. My wife is the only child and there is no one to look after her mother as she was widowed long back and her only brother died 10 years ago. We cannot even take her with us to America because even if they do allow it, my bedridden mother-in-law is in no condition to travel abroad. We are stuck here. Do you know that we haven’t visited our daughters in America for the last 10 years because we can’t leave my mother-in-law alone? So, our daughters come here once a year to visit us. And, as you can see, even we are not in the best of health,” he said.

“It must be very demanding looking after your mother-in-law,” I said.

He said angrily: “Demanding? I am so fed up that I am just waiting for her to …”

I looked up and saw why he had interrupted his sentence – his wife had come in with the tea tray.

On my way home, I thought about it.

Till what age are you expected to look after your parents?

Earlier, parents died when their children were still working, at least before the children retired.

But now, with increasing longevity, with many people living well into their 80’s and even into their 90’s, you are expected to look after your parents even when you yourself had retired and needed to be looked after.

Like my uncle and his wife, who themselves were 75 and 72, and despite their old age and poor health, they were required to look after the 93 year old mother-in-law.

So, even in your old age, you may have to look after your parents and in-laws.

And, like in my uncle’s case, if your children migrate abroad, there will be no one to look after you in your old age.

This makes me wonder – is longevity a boon or a curse?

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. These are my personal views based on my observations. The reality may be different. This is just food for thought and should be taken in the right positive spirit.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.