Do You Drown Your Sorrows in Alcohol...?

Once – a shipmate was feeling miserable because his girlfriend had dumped him.

“Come on – have a drink – it will make you feel better...” someone said.

When another officer was passed over for promotion and was feeling dejected – he was given the same advice: “Have a drink – it will help raise your spirits...” 

A course-mate was in a bad mood after an altercation with his boss. 

He was given the same advice: “Come on – have a drink – it will cheer you up...” 

If you are feeling depressed – or – you are in a bad mood – or you are feeling stressed out – some “well-wishers” will advise you to “drown your sorrows” in alcohol.  

Is this a wise thing to do...? 

Is alcohol the panacea – a “cure-all” – for all emotional ills...? 

Is alcohol the stress management “elixir”...? 

Does alcohol help you escape from your problems...?

I remember a saying:

“Intoxication isn’t an escape – it just pushes problems further away” 

If you think that “drowning your sorrows” in alcohol is a good idea – here is some “food for thought” – an article I had written many years ago in my series on “The Art of Drinking Alcohol”...

BOOZE WISDOM

NEVER DRINK WHEN YOU “NEED” A DRINK

Golden Rule of Drinking Alcohol

By

VIKRAM KARVE

The Navy taught me many things. 

One of the things I learnt in the Navy was how to drink alcohol. 

Yes – I am a veteran “drunkard” 

(Sadly – I gave up alcohol 15 years ago) 

However – I have rich “domain experience” in the field – which I must share for the benefit of “budding alcoholics”.  

So – let me delve into my “Alcoholic Archives” – and – share with you – some of my “Boozy Wisdom” – from my select writings on “How to Drink Alcohol”...

Cheers – Enjoy !!! 

NEVER DRINK WHEN YOU “NEED” A DRINK

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim

~ Ann Landers

 

One evening – a friend of mine landed up at my place – and he said, “I have had a really terrible day at work. I need a drink.”

“I will get you a cup of tea,” I said.

“Tea…?” he exclaimed astounded, “haven’t you got some whiskey or something? I told you I am feeling terrible – everything went wrong today – I desperately need a drink…”

“I know you are dying for a drink – you are craving, yearning, thirsting for that “soothing” sip of alcohol. That is why you must not drink now. You must never drink when you need a drink,” I said.    

My friend pleaded – but I did not budge.

I gave him a cup of tea – which he drank with great reluctance.

Then – he walked off in a huff – calling me all sorts of names – he said that I was a miser – a “good for nothing” friend – an “unofficerlike” officer – but I knew I that had done the right thing.

Yes – I had done the right thing – I did not give him a drink when he “needed” a drink.

Because – that is my first golden rule of drinking alcohol – or – if you like – let’s call it “Booze Wisdom”...

DON’T DRINK WHEN YOU “NEED” A DRINK

 

Yes – don’t drink when you desperately want to have a drink. 

 

Do not touch a drop of alcohol when your mind or body craves for alcohol.

Sounds funny isn’t it...?

Let me try to elucidate.

Never drink when you need a drink.

Do not drink when you are feeling any negative emotion like despondency, sadness, anger, irritation, envy, unhappiness, frustration, emotional pain, bad moods, down in the dumps feeling, or any negative vibes.

Never touch the bottle when you are in negative mood – otherwise – the bottle will “unbottle” you.

Remember –  if you drink alcohol in these circumstances – the bottle will “unbottle” your dormant repressed inner feelings – and – release your pent up negative emotions – and – make you feel even more miserable – and – spoil the mood of all those around you.

Let me tell you something I have observed in real life.

If you want to know the true character of a man – just get him drunk – and – what is hidden inside him will come out – and his true inner self will be revealed.

(Maybe – the same applies to women as well – but I did not have the opportunity to observe women getting drunk – so I cannot vouch for it)

Alcohol opens you up. 

That’s what alcohol does – isn’t it...?

Alcohol reduces inhibitions – makes you more talkative, more expansive and more expressive – loosens you up – and helps release, bring out and amplify your inner emotions, talents, passions, sentiments.

That is why some persons become more creative after imbibing a drink or two – since alcohol unleashes your inhibitions – and releases the music, the poetry, the creativity hidden within you. 

 

If you are happy inside – after a few drinks you will start physically expressing your happiness – maybe in a boisterous manner – and outwardly – by laughing, cheer and bonhomie. 

Alcohol will dissolve your inhibitions – you will become more expressive, talkative and friendly.

 

Once you drink when you are in high spirits – you may even articulate your secret unexpressed love – you become amorous and romantic – you try to realize your hidden desires – and you will reveal without compunctions  –all your inner secrets – which otherwise you would never disclose when sober.  

But – the converse is also true.

By reducing inhibitions – alcohol may bring out the worst in you – by facilitating the release of pent up negative emotions like anger, envy, dejection, despondency, frustration – and these unleashed amplified negative emotions may result in undesirable, unpleasant and even disastrous consequences.

Have you noticed how some people get violent, argumentative, rude or even melancholic, moody, sullen, depressed, unsociable, unpleasant after a few drinks...?

Dear Reader – in my opinion – the best thing is to be a teetotaller – and avoid drinking alcohol altogether.

But – if you must have a drink please do make sure that you are feeling positive vibes and are peaceful and happy inside – and – never drink when you desperately “need” that drink. 

Yes – Do Not Drink Alcohol when you are feeling depressed or low or angry or have negative emotions.

Remember this Golden Rule:

If you must drink alcohol – always drink when you are happy – you must enjoy your drinking when you are in good cheer and full of positive vibes. 

So – this is my first golden rule of drinking alcohol: 

NEVER DRINK WHEN YOU “NEED” A DRINK 

If you must drink alcohol – remember the corollary to the above dictum:

It is okay to have a drink when you don’t “need” that drink. 

But – Don’t Drink when you “Need” a Drink.

Cheers ... !!! 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. So please do due diligence before trying out this technique.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

This self help article was written by me Vikram Karve around 15 years ago in the year 2001 and posted online by me a number of times in my blogs including at urls: http://creative.sulekha.com/drinking-alcohol-golden-rule-no-1-don-t-drink-when-you-need-a-drink_544617_blog   and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/10/drinking-alcohol-golden-rule-no-1.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/do-you-drink-to-drown-your-sorrows.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/10/how-to-drink-alcohol-part-1-does.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/10/how-to-drink-alcohol-part-2-never-drink.html  andhttp://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/boozy-wisdom-never-drink-when-you-need.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/dont-drink-when-you-need-drink.html etc

Alcoholism

ARE YOU A BORN ALCOHOLIC...?

I had never touched alcohol before I joined the Navy – and I may have remained a non-drinker (a teetotaller) had I not joined the navy.

In the 1970’s – when I joined the Navy – Naval social life revolved around drinking alcohol.

In the Navy – alcohol was the social lubricant which fostered friendship and camaraderie.

Every occasion called for a drink – and any event – or party – official, social or personal – was celebrated by drinking copious amounts of alcohol.

For a rough and tough sailor – drinking was considered “macho” – a sign of manliness – and non-drinkers were mocked and ridiculed as effeminate weaklings.

In the Navy – and in the other arms of the military – if you were a robust drinker who could hold his liquor well – you were considered a good officer – and good drinking capacity was a sign of good OLQ (Officer Like Qualities).

Good Officers were those who had great capacities for drinking – and – a good Naval Officer was not supposed to get drunk even after imbibing large quantities of alcohol.

There was a saying in the Navy: “Officers never get drunk – they only feel nice”.

On the other hand – a teetotaller was considered a sissy.

In a nutshell – the Naval Social Environment encouraged and eulogized Drinking 

And – as I said earlier – drinking was the mainstay of Naval Social Life (and I am sure the same was true of Army/Military Social Life as well).

It was the Navy that introduced me to the delights of alcohol.

And – it is in the Navy that I acquired my drinking wisdom – or “booze wisdom” – as I call it.

So – Dear Reader – let me share some of my “booze wisdom” with you.

Cheers !!!

BOOZE WISDOM 

ALCOHOLICS ARE BORN – NOT MADE

An Alcoholic is Born – Not Made

Incoherent Ramblings of an Veteran Alcoholic

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Disclaimer:

These are my personal views based on my own experience. They may or may not be applicable in your circumstances. This experiential “wisdom” may not have any scientific basis. You may please do your own due diligence before you pick up a drink of alcohol.

I AM AN ALCOHOLIC WHO DOES NOT DRINK ALCOHOL

ONCE AN ALCOHOLIC – ALWAYS AN ALCOHOLIC

I am an alcoholic.

I am an alcoholic who does not drink alcohol.

Yes – at present – I am a “teetotaller”.

I am an alcoholic.

And – I am also a teetotaller.

So – I guess you call me an “alcoholic teetotaller”.

You think I am crazy?

Let me explain.

You must have heard the dictum:

1. All those who drink alcohol do not become alcoholics. 

2. But all alcoholics drink alcohol

I agree with the first part of the saying.

Yes: “all those who drink alcohol do not become alcoholics”.

But – I do not agree with the second part of the saying – which says that: “all alcoholics drink alcohol”.

This is not entirely true.

There are many “alcoholics” who do not drink alcohol.

For example – there is me.

I am an alcoholic who does not drink alcohol.

Of course – there was a time when I drank plenty of alcohol.

Let me tell you of the stages of my life as far as alcohol is concerned.

MY LIFE STAGES AS AN ALCOHOLIC

My life can be divided into 3 phases:

1. ABSTINENCE 

From Birth to Adulthood (0 – 21 years) – my student days when I did not touch alcohol.

2. DRINKING DAYS

The Prime Years of my Life (21 – 46 years) – my drinking days when I drank plenty of alcohol.

3. TEMPERANCE

My Acme Years (46 years onwards till today) – my temperance years of teetotalism after I quit drinking alcohol at the age of 46.

GENETIC PREDISPOSITION and ENVIRONMENTAL PROVOCATION

You may ask me: “How can you be an alcoholic if you could quit drinking alcohol...?”

Or – in other words: “Can you remain an alcoholic even after you have quit drinking alcohol...?”

The answers is YES.

You can remain an alcoholic even after you quit drinking alcohol.

Let me elucidate.

You must have heard a saying:

LEADERS ARE BORN – NOT MADE

In a similar vein – I would like to say:

ALCOHOLICS ARE BORN – NOT MADE

Yes – an alcoholic is born – not made

I was a born alcoholic.

However – I did not get a chance to drink alcohol till the age of 21.

So – I remained a “latent alcoholic” (or you may say – I was a “potential alcoholic”).

At 21 – after I had joined the Navy – I had my first drink of Alcohol.

This first drink activated the “alcoholism switch” in my brain.

I realized how much I loved drinking alcohol.

I enjoyed drinking – and – alcohol became an important part of my life.

ENVIRONMENTAL PROVOCATION

In the Navy – the environment was conducive to drinking Alcohol 

In fact – the Naval Social Environment “provoked” you to drink Alcohol

Maybe it is the same in the Army and some other professions too which “motivate” you to drink alcohol – where drinking alcohol is a part of life – and you have to resist the temptation if you want to remain a teetotaller.

I realized that – if you are an “alcoholic” – the Navy is probably the best place to be in.

Naval life revolved around drinking alcohol.

In the Navy – alcohol was the “social lubricant” which fostered friendship and camaraderie.

Sitting in the wardroom/officers mess bar drinking together – on-board ships – and ashore – strangers become friends as they drank together.

Those glorious drinking scenes of bonhomie established enduring bonds of comradeship and friendship which have lasted even till today.

Yes – alcohol was the golden bond of fellowship.

My best friends were my Navy drinking buddies – cutting across rank, seniority and age.

In the Navy – every occasion calls for a drink.

Any event – official, social or personal – was celebrated by drinking copious amounts of alcohol.

“Make and mend” days or “stripe wetting” ceremonies were celebrated by “elbow bending” PLDs (Pre Lunch Drinks) where beer was guzzled by the gallon.

Though you did not drink when sailing – whenever you were in harbour – or posted in a shore billet – you drank liquor almost every evening – there were cocktail parties, mess nights, or informal “booze-up” get-togethers of friends – or you just went across to the wardroom, officers mess or club for a drink.

The best of duty-free foreign liquor was available on ships – and – ashore too – the bars and canteens were well stocked with the best Indian brands of Booze (IMFL aka Indian Manufactured Foreign Liquor).

In a nutshell – the Naval Social Environment encouraged and eulogized drinking.

If you were a robust drinker who could hold his liquor well – you were considered a good officer – and it was accepted that you had good OLQ (Officer Like Qualities).

On the other hand – a teetotaller was considered to be a sissy.

Drinking was considered “macho” – a sign of manliness – and non-drinkers were mocked and ridiculed as effeminate weaklings.

In fact – I sometimes wondered why these non-drinkers had joined the Navy – since alcohol was the main attraction of Naval Life.

Almost every Naval Officer drank alcohol – and there were hardly any teetotallers.

Drinking was the mainstay of Naval Social Life.

As I told you earlier – PLDs, Cocktail Parties, Formal Mess Nights, Formal Social Calls and informal drinking binges were a regular feature.

At parties – I felt pity watching the few teetotallers as they suffered a torturous time holding a soft drink for hours – while all of us enjoyed our booze during those glorious Naval Social Events and Parties.

This alcohol-conducive environment which enthused and provoked drinking was ideal for a “latent alcoholic” like me to turn into a “full blown alcoholic”.

Since I was a “born alcoholic”, I already had a genetic predisposition to alcoholism (alcoholism is in my DNA).

However – till I joined the Navy – because I did not drink alcohol – I remained a “latent alcoholic”.

The various reasons due to which I did not drink alcohol as a young student can be summed up in a nutshell as: 

“In my younger days my environment was not conducive to drinking alcohol”.

So – I remained a “latent alcoholic”.

The moment I joined the Navy – the environment became very conducive for drinking alcohol – and – this “environmental provocation” was the trigger, the impetus and the catalyst which transformed my “latent alcoholism” into “full blown alcoholism”.

Thus – “Alcoholism” is a combination of “genetic predisposition” and “environmental provocation”

ALCOHOLISM = GENETIC PREDISPOSITION + ENVIRONMENTAL PROVOCATION

“Alcoholism” is a combination of “genetic predisposition” and “environmental provocation”

We can express this as a mathematical formula:

Alcoholism = Genetic Predisposition + Environmental Provocation

I had the genetic predisposition or propensity for alcoholism.

But – in my younger student days – there was an absence of environmental provocation – so I remained a “latent alcoholic”.

The moment I joined the Navy – the conducive environmental provocation triggered my genetic predisposition.

The “alcoholism switch” was activated in my brain – and my penchant for alcohol was allowed to manifest and flourish.

Before I realized it – I was on the road to alcohol dependence and full blown alcoholism.

But – a time did come when – I did realize that I if continued drinking alcohol – I would eventually slip into the abyss of alcoholism to the point of no return.

I had seen this happening to a few of my seniors – who had become alcohol dependent – and some had turned into full blown alcoholics.

I have seen this happening in the civilian world too.

Many say that alcoholism is on the rise.

In the strict sense – alcoholism always existed - only earlier – alcoholism is was not so visible  as – due to taboos and the fact that access to alcohol was not easy – many potential alcoholics did not have the opportunity to manifest into full-blown alcoholics.

In the past too – there were always many “latent alcoholics” with “genetic predisposition” to alcoholism.

However – due to various cultural taboos and non-availability of alcohol due to prohibition policies – these “latent alcoholics” did not get a chance to become “full blown alcoholics” (due to absence of “environmental provocation”).

This aspect is particularly evident in women.

Earlier – owing to cultural taboos – women did not drink alcohol – so many women “latent alcoholics” who may have had a “genetic predisposition” to alcohol did not get a chance to become “full blown alcoholics” – since there was absolutely no “environmental provocation”.

Now – drinking taboos are being slowly removed – especially in modern urban society.

The urban social environment becoming more and more conducive for women to drink alcohol.

This gives an opportunity for women who are “latent alcoholics” to become “full blown alcoholics”. 

WAKE UP CALL

The first “wake up call” I got was at a cocktail party around 15 years ago.

I drank 11 large pegs of whisky (almost a full bottle).

However – there was no effect on me.

Neither I – nor anyone else – could discern that I had consumed such an enormous amount of alcohol.

In fact – it was a friend who told me next morning about the enormous amount of whisky I had drunk – and – he commented that he was surprised to see me behaving absolutely soberly.

He wondered as to how I could be normal after consuming 11 large pegs of whisky – when just 6 pegs of whisky made him feel drunk.

This meant that my Alcohol Tolerance Level had increased enormously 

And – this was the first danger signal of impending trouble if I continued drinking alcohol.

I decided to stop drinking alcohol.

I had no choice.

I had a “genetic predisposition” to alcoholism.

Alcoholism was in my DNA – and – there was nothing I could do about it.

So – the only option was to tackle “environmental provocation”.

I drastically changed my lifestyle – and – I tried to be in a “non-alcoholic environment”.

Even now – more than 15 years since I quit drinking – I try to avoid “environmental provocation” to drink alcohol.

This has certainly affected my social life.

I avoid occasions and places where alcohol is served.

I do not keep alcohol at home.

And – ever since I stopped keeping booze at home – a lot of my friends have stopped visiting me.

You may feel that these may seem extreme steps – and you may laugh at me – but then – you are not a “born alcoholic”.

Whether I like it or not – I am a “born alcoholic” – and that is why I have to be careful.

ARE YOU A “BORN ALCOHOLIC”...?

How do you discover whether you are a “born alcoholic”...?

If you never drink – you will never come to know – and – that is the best thing.

But the moment you have your first drink of alcohol – the “alcoholism switch” triggers in your brain – and you will come to know that you are a “born alcoholic” – and – you will start loving alcohol more than anything else.

And then – you know what to do.

If you are a “born alcoholic” – then you have to control the “environmental provocation” so that it does not impel you towards drinking.

Otherwise – the deadly combination of “genetic predisposition” and “environmental provocation” can make you “alcohol dependent” and gradually turn you into a “full blown alcoholic”.

Remember: 

An Alcoholic is Born – not Made.

Yes: 

“Alcoholics are Born – Not Made”.

Tell me one thing.

What should you do once you discover that you are a “born alcoholic”...?

Is it wise to live in denial and ultimately become a full-blown alcoholic...?

Or – is it better to be frank like me and candidly say:

“I am an alcoholic – and – that is why I do not drink alcohol...”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. These are my personal views based on my own experience. They may or may not be applicable in your circumstances. This experiential “wisdom” may not have any scientific basis. You may please do your own due diligence before you pick up a drink of alcohol.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

This is an updated version and repost of my article : ALCOHOLICS ARE BORN NOT MADE posted on this blog on 19 Oct 2013 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/10/alcoholics-are-born-not-made.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/02/i-am-alcoholic-who-does-not-drink.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/09/booze-wisdom-are-you-born-alcoholic.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/04/are-you-alcoholic-who-does-not-drink.html