Twitter Can “Kill” You

TWITTER CAN “KILL” YOU…?

A Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Can Twitter “Kill” You…?

Well – Twitter “Killed” Me in the morning – and – I am still “Dead”.

Dear Reader – let me tell you the story of what happened this morning.

As I sipped my Early Morning Tea (Chota Hazri) – I picked up my smartphone – and opened Twitter to send my customary “Good Morning” Tweet to my Friends.

To my horror – I saw a message on the screen:

“Your account (@vikramwkarve) is currently suspended. For more information, please log into twitter.com”

Accordingly – I logged into twitter.com – and was directed to the “About Suspended Accounts” page which gave 3 basic reasons for suspension of twitter accounts:

1. Spammy or Fake Accounts

Well – my Twitter Account was certainly not fake.

In fact – my Twitter Profile was absolutely genuine – actual Display Picture – 100% True Bio with correct date of birth and link to my website/blog.

And – I was certainly not tweeting spam.

In fact – in my last 3 tweets before suspension – I had tweeted the titles and links of my stories which I had written in my blog – for the benefit of my Twitter Followers who like to read my fiction short stories that I write and post on my blogs.

So – there was no justification for Twitter to suspend my Account for the above reasons (Spam and Fake Accounts)

Interestingly – there was a disclaimer:

“Unfortunately, sometimes a real person’s account gets suspended by mistake, and in those cases we’ll work with the person to make sure the account is unsuspended”

Well – if my Twitter Account has been suspended by mistake – why hasn’t Twitter restored it so far despite my following the proper procedure/instructions and filing an appeal to unsuspend my account…?

Yes – I have filed an appeal to unsuspend my account around 12 hours ago,

In reply to my appeal – all I have received is an email from Twitter saying that they are working on it and it may take a few days – a very vague statement without any deadline for restoration of my Twitter Account.

(I would also like to emphasise that Twitter has not given any reason as to why they have suspended my Twitter Account – either prior to suspending my account – or in their email acknowledging my request to unsuspend the account).

2. Account Security at Risk

If we suspect an account has been hacked or compromised, we may suspend it until it can be secured and restored to the account owner…

Well – it doesn’t seem that my Account has been hacked – since I can see my Profile and Timeline. The problem is that I am unable to send Tweets and my Followers can’t see my Twitter Account.

So – this reason for suspension is not applicable to me.

3. Abusive Tweets or Behaviour

We may suspend an account if it has been reported to us as violating our rules surrounding abuse. When an account engages in abusive behaviour, like sending threats to others or impersonating other accounts, we may suspend it temporarily or, in some cases, permanently.

Well – I am a Military Veteran (Retired Naval Officer) educated at the best of schools and institutions – and I have certainly not indulged in abusive behaviour. I have never sent threats to others. I have never impersonated other accounts. I have always tweeted in the most polite and temperate language. I have never tweeted anything controversial in nature. In fact – most of my Tweets are about my Creative Writing in my Blogs. My conduct on Twitter has been most ethical.

So – this reason for suspension is not applicable to me.

WHY HAS TWITTER “KILLED” ME…”

Hence – none of the above 3 reasons for suspension are applicable to me.

So – the moot question remains:

Why has my Twitter Account been suspended…?

Will someone please answer this moot question.

PS: I have used the word “kill” and “killed” metaphorically – to portray my predicament of being virtually “killed” in Twittersphere.

(To be continued in Part 2 – The Twitter “Raj”…) 

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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