Monday, December 26, 2016

Humor in Uniform – Cashless Economy

Humor in Uniform

“Black Gold” Cashless Transactions
A Fictional Spoof

The Military is always way ahead of Civilians.

It is a well-known fact that most of the “Cutting-Edge” Technologies and “State-of-the Art” Management Systems were first invented/developed by the Military and then put to civilian use (mostly in the US).

But – do you know that “Cashless Economy” was in vogue long ago – since many decades – in Indian Military Environment – for so many years – and – Civilians are going hyper about “Cashless Economy” now – especially after Demonetization.

Of course – those “good old days” many decades ago – were many years before Computers were invented – and – the Internet was a long way off – so – there was no question of “Digital” or “Online” transactions.

The mode of transaction prevalent way back then – in the “Military Cashless System” was “Black Gold” aka “Military Rum” (which Military Personnel got at concessional rates in their Canteens/Messes).

(Yes – like “Coal” is called “Black Diamond” in Mining Jargon – “Military Rum” is called “Black Gold” in Military Parlance)

In order to explain how “Black Gold Cashless Transactions” operated – let me tell you an “apocryphal” story.  

Long back – an Army Officer was selected for the prestigious “Staff College” course at Wellington.

The moment he came to know of his selection – he started collecting bottles of “Military Rum” aka “Black Gold”.

He asked his fellow officers to “sacrifice” a few bottles of Rum from their liquor quota – he begged the Canteen Officer and Mess Secretary for a few bottles of Rum.

“I want to get through Staff College comfortably – and – for that – I need at least a few cases of “Black Gold”…” he said (One Case = 12 Bottles of Rum)

“Really…? Is Staff College so tough…? Do you need to drink so much Rum to get through Staff College…?” I asked innocently.

“Are you crazy…? I am not going to drink all that Rum. In fact – I am a teetotaller – I don’t touch alcohol…” he said, “the Rum is not for me to drink – Rum is “Black Gold” – and – I need plenty of “Black Gold” to get things done out there – “Black Gold” is much more valuable than Cash – in fact – for some things they don’t accept cash – they only want “Black Gold”….”

For obvious reasons – I will not spell out the “Cashless Transactions” which “Black Gold” could perform so seamlessly and economically.

If you have served in the military – you may have seen “cashless transactions” at various places for a variety of goods and services – in fact – in cantonments – most “service providers” insist on “Cashless Transactions” using “Black Gold”.

And now – as usual – after so many years – Civilians are emulating the Military in the domain of “Cashless Economy” – albeit – they are using “Digital Technology” instead of “Black Gold” for “Cashless Transactions”.

Cheers – have a good day !!! 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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1. This is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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