MARRIAGE DIVORCE SOCIAL GRACES and ETIQUETTE

A Story of ETIQUETTE, MANNERS, SOCIAL GRACES and THE MIDDLE CLASS MENTALITY


A SIMPLE HUSBAND and A SNOBBISH WIFE 

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Before I tell you the real story here is a Mulla Nasrudin Story:

Mulla Nasrudin went to see a divorce lawyer and told him that he wanted to divorce his wife. 

“What grounds do you think you have for a divorce…?” the lawyer asked.

“It’s my wife’s manners,” said Nasrudin, “She is unbearable. My wife possesses no social graces and has absolutely no etiquette.  It’s disgusting – her behaviour – she has absolutely no etiquette and her table manners are so bad that she is disgracing the whole family.”

“That’s really bad,” the lawyer said.  “How long have you been married…?”

“Nine years,” said Nasrudin.

“Nine years…?” the lawyer exclaimed surprised, “If you have been able to put up with your wife's etiquette and table manners for nine long years, I can’t understand why you suddenly want to divorce her now. Why now?

“Well,” said Nasrudin, “I did not have a clue about Social Graces before today. I just bought a book on Etiquette this morning.”

Now here is the real story

Once there was a happily married couple.

The highly educated husband was doing well in life. He worked in an R&D laboratory as an Research Scientist.

The simple homemaker wife (a small town girl) looked up to her husband with respect and adoration.

The well meaning husband encouraged his wife to learn and enhance her educational qualifications since he wanted his wife to realize her full potential. 

He motivated his simple wife to do courses in computers, IT and software. Then he helped her find a good job in the IT industry.

The wife did extremely well in the IT industry which was flourishing and in a few years the tables were turned – whereas the wife’s career prospered the husband’s career stagnated. 

She travelled abroad on prestigious projects, earned lots of money, got fast promotions and her career truly flourished whereas the poor luckless husband continued to slog away in his job without much reward or recognition.

Now the “successful” wife started looking down upon her husband, as if he were an embarrassment, and sometimes even belittled him. 

The wife had progressed but the husband had remained where he was. The wife now felt that she was too good for him. She was way up the ladder, rocketed upwards out of his league. The hapless husband watched helplessly as his wife moved out of his league.

The wife had conveniently forgotten the fact that she was once a simple small town girl and that it was her husband who had initially encouraged her to learn and take up a career due to which she had now become a “Page 3 socialite”. She had totally forgotten the fact that it was her husband who had played a major role in her success.

The globe trotting successful wife now moved in cosmopolitan high society and developed much finesse and “social graces” - she had moved way up the social ladder whereas her husband remained his simple self. To put it bluntly the wife had become quite a snob as her success had gone into her head.

Once when we were dining at one of those high falutin parties, it was very awkward to see her nagging and lecturing her husband on etiquette, table manners and social graces. The wife pontificated to her husband on how to move in high society. She mocked her husband and told him that he still had a middle-class mentality.

That was when I told her this Mulla Nasrudin story and I think it had the desired effect.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and he is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
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Email: vikramkarve@sify.com        

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.