Monday, August 10, 2020

Unfinished Story – “Panauti” – Part 1








“I hate you…” the man says.


“That’s good. I want you to hate me…” the woman says.


“Why do you want me to hate you…?” the man says.


“Because I love you…” the woman says.


“Are you crazy…? You love me – but – you want me to hate you…” the man says – surprised.


“Yes…” the woman says.


“But why…?” the man asks her.


“Because whoever falls in love with me – he dies…” the woman says.


“What nonsense…! You said you loved me – but you haven’t died…” the man says.


“You didn’t hear what I said properly…” the woman says, “I said that whoever falls in love with me – he dies” – do you understand…? But – I don’t die – if I fall in love with anyone…”


“If someone falls in love with you – they die – but – if you fall in love with someone – you don’t die…? What nonsense…! How is this possible…?” the man says.


“It seems to be a “curse” – maybe – I am a “Panauti”…” the woman says.


“What…? You are a “Panauti”…? What does that mean…?” the man says to the woman.


“Someone who brings “bad luck” to others…” the woman says, “an ill-fated person who brings misfortune – a harbinger of bad luck – an evil omen…”


“You mean you are something like a “jinx” – a luckless person who brings misfortune…?” the man says.


“Worse than that…” the woman said, “I am an accursed person who brings death – yes – death to anyone who loves me…”


“I don’t believe you…” the man says.


“Even I didn’t believe it at first…” the woman says, “but three boys who fell in love with me – all of them – they died…”


“Three Boys who were in love with you…? They died…?” the man says – confused.


“The first boy was in my college – my classmate – I thought he was just a friend – I did not know that he had fallen in love with me – it was only after his death in a motorcycle accident – when I read his diary – that I came to know that he had fallen in love with me…” the woman says.


“His diary…?”


“Yes – his mother called me home a few days after his death – and she gave me his diary – where – every day – he would write about how much he loved me…” the woman says.


“But – he never told you…?”


No…” the woman says, “we were young then – he must have felt shy…”


“But – you were not in love with him…?” the man says.


“No – he was just a friend – like others – and – I told you – I didn’t even know that he had fallen in love with me…” the woman says.


“It must have been a coincidence…”


“I told you – there were two others – one an office colleague – who fell in love with me – and another – with whom I was engaged – he too fell in love with me – and both of them died….” the woman says.


“What nonsense…?” the man says, “I doubt you were ever engaged…” 


“You can check up with my parents – I was engaged to a man – an NRI who had come to find a bride in India – sadly for him – he fell in love with me – it was love at first sight – he told me that he had fallen in love with me – and then – suddenly – he died in a car accident…” the woman says, “and the office colleague who fell in love with me – he fell off his balcony and died instantly – a freak accident…”


“As far as the office colleague is concerned – it looks more like suicide to me…” the man says, “You must have rejected his love – and he may have gone crazy and committed suicide by jumping off his balcony…”


“Maybe…” the woman says, “but the fact is that he died. Three persons who fell in love with me – they all died – I am a “Panauti”…” – an accursed woman – so – please don’t fall in love with me – I don’t want you to die – because I really love you…”


“I don’t believe all this…” the man says.


“I didn’t too – till – I met a man – he was a sort of “clairvoyant”…” the woman says.


“A “clairvoyant”…?”


“Yes…” the woman says, “he walked up to me when I was browsing books in a bookstore. He said he wanted to talk to me – to tell me something. He said the “vibes” that I was radiating had attracted his attention. Since he looked like a distinguished gentleman – I let him talk to me. He held my hand – and studied my palm – then he looked into my eyes – and he told me that I was a woman under a curse – a “Panauti” – and whoever fell in love with me – they would die…”


“And – you believed him…?” the man says.


“Not really – so – I decided to test his theory – that – I was indeed a “Panauti”…” the woman says.


“Test his theory…?”


“Yes…” the woman says, “I seduced my sister’s husband – he fell passionately in love with me…”


“And he died…?”


“Yes – he had a heart attack – and he died…” the woman says.


“Heart attack…?”


“Yes – my sister’s husband  – he died of heart attack – he was quite young – in his late 30’s – he made love to me in the afternoon  – in a hotel room – and then – he went back to his office – and – he suffered a sudden heart attack – and he died...” the woman says.


“Oh My God – you killed your sister’s husband…?”


“I didn’t kill him – I was just testing the hypothesis that the “clairvoyant” had told me – that I was a “Panauti” – and – anyone who fell in love with me would die…”


“You killed a man just to test a theory…? You are a devious woman – most despicable…” the man says.


“It’s good you think that I am a horrible and hateful  woman – it will ensure that you never fall in love with me – and you will live a long life – that’s what I want – I want you to hate me – because – I genuinely love you…” the woman says.


“So – you brutally “dumped” me because you were in love with me…?” the man says.


“Yes…” the woman says, “the moment I realised that you were falling in love with me – I broke our friendship – and – I walked off – far away from your life – so that you would forget me…”


“I didn’t forget you…” the man says.


“But – you hate me – that’s even better…” the woman says.


“Your theory is all wrong…” the man says.


“What do you mean…?” the woman says.


“I still love you…” the man says.


“What…? You told me that you “hate” me…” the woman says.


“That’s was a lie – I still love you – and – I am still alive – so – your theory is all wrong…” the man says.


“The theory is correct – I didn’t tell you a bit of details…” the woman says.




“Yes…” the woman says, “all those who died – they had sex with me…”


“So now you are saying that whoever has sex with you – they die…?” the man says, “are you a “Black Widow” – who kills her lovers after having sex with them – like the deadly female spider who cannibalises the male after copulation…?”


“How dare you say such a thing…? I didn’t kill them – they died because they had sex with me – and they died – because of the “curse”…” the woman says.


“Stop talking nonsense. First you say – those who love you – they die. Then you say – those who have sex with you – they die. What about that college classmate – that “shy” boy who had secretly fallen in love with you…? The man says.


“He raped me – and – then – he died…” the woman says.




“Yes – we had gone for a college party to a resort – we were outdoors – there was music and dancing – that boy – he “spiked” my soft-drink – and when I felt giddy – he took me to a secluded place – and he raped me…” the woman said.


“And – you didn’t tell anyone…?”


“No…” the woman says, “I lay unconscious for some time – then when I got up – I felt dazed – so – I went back to the party – and I sat down in a corner – I looked for the boy – he was nowhere to be seen – then someone interrupted the music and announced that the boy had a motorcycle accident…”


“The same boy who raped you…?”


“Yes – maybe he wanted to go home in a hurry before I woke up – anyway – it was fatal accident – and he died on the spot…” the woman said.


“And then – his mother gave you his diary – where he said he had loved you…?”


“Yes…” the woman said, “when we had gone to make a condolence call…”.


“Gruesome story…” the man said.


“I don’t want to talk anymore about it…” the woman says, “and please don’t ask me about the office colleague and the man I was engaged to – they both had sex with me – and they died – I told you how they died…”


“One fell off a balcony – the other had a car accident – and later – you seduced your brother-in-law – and he died of a heart attack…” the man says.


“Yes…” the woman says.


“I wonder how I am going to die…?” the man says.


“What do you mean…?” the woman asks the man.


“I am feeling very attracted towards you…” the man says, “you still look very sexy…”


“I am going…” the woman says, “had I known that you would be here – I would have never come to this seminar. I was trying to avoid you – but you cornered me – and – you started talking to me – and – I didn’t want to be rude…”


“You are a crazy woman – you call yourself a “Panauti” – Ha Ha. First – you say that you love me – so – you want me to hate you – because if I love you – I will die – because everyone who loves you – they die. Then – you say that everyone who fucks you – they die…”


“Yes – and that is why I am not going to let you fuck me – though I can see that you desperately want to – because I still love you – and I don’t want you to die…” the woman says to the man, “goodbye – hope we never meet again…”


“Just one thing…” the man says, “before you go away…”


“What…?” the woman asks him.


“Tell me one thing…” the man says, “this “Panauti” fantasy – this chimera that men will die if they have sex with you – are you using it to scare me away – or do use it as a “chastity shield”…?”


“Chastity Shield…?”


“If you don’t want to have sex with a man – you scare him away with your “Panauti” story…” the man says.


“No. That’s not true. I really believe that I am a “Panauti”. Anyone who has sex with me – he will die. I told you about the men who died after having sex with me – all of them died…” the woman says.


“Are you saying that you have had sex with only 4 men so far – your college classmate, your office colleague, your fiancé who was engaged to you and your sister’s husband…?” the man asks the woman.


“Yes…” the woman says.


“You are 35 years old – and you have had sex with only 4 times so far…?” the man asks the woman.


“Yes…” the woman says.


“You are lying…” the man says.


“What do you mean…?” the woman says.


“You are a virgin – you haven’t had sex with any man…” the man says, “you are frightened of having sex with men – so – use this “Panauti” charade to scare them away…”


“Why should I be frightened of men…?” the woman says.


“Either you are scared of men – or – you hate men – so you use this “Panauti” farce as a “Chastity Shield” to keep men away…” the man says.


“Why should I hate men…?” the woman says.


“Maybe – because you love women…” the man says.


“Shut up…” the woman says, “I am going away now – and I hope we never meet again. But remember – I love you – you are my first and only love – I will always love you from the bottom of my heart – I wanted to make love to you – I wanted to have passionate sex with you – then – always – even now – but I don’t want you die – so – I am going away – so – goodbye – forever…”


The woman walks away.


The man walks towards the bar. 


To Be Continued in Part 2 of “Panauti”...

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