How to Avoid Depression

HOW TO AVOID DEPRESSION

Musings by a Veteran

By

VIKRAM KARVE

I am on the verge of depression.

I feel lonely and unwanted.

Many years ago – I retired from the Navy – on attaining the age of “superannuation”.

Please note – I did not take voluntarily “pre-mature retirement” (PMR).

But – I was honourably “pensioned-off” – since I had reached the “age of superannuation” – an age beyond which I was considered “useless” (superannuated).

I was not a “job hopper” – I spent my entire “working life” in the Navy.

I have done whatever I was supposed to do in my vocation – and now – work-wise – I have zero “utility value” – and – I am redundant and “useless” – as far as my professional expertise is concerned.

So – I have nothing left to offer in my “trade-craft”.

As far as my “profession” is concerned – I have done whatever I had to do – I have nothing left to do.

On the “career” front – my professional career is over – and – I am “useless”.

So – I have nothing to “look forward to” on the professional (work) front. 

Now – let us see my status on the “family” front.

As far as my family is concerned – my so-called “worldly” obligations are over.

Both my children are pursuing their own professions – and they are living their own independent lives.

My children are married – they have their own families – they are busy with their own families and work-life – and – they no longer require me – nor do they need my assistance or advice.  

In fact – they consider me a “nuisance”.

As far as my “Better Half” is considered – she is busy with her career – and she has no time for me.

On the Social Front – I do not have any friends – since – after retirement – I have not been able to make any new friends – as the young “Techies” (IT Nerds) among whom I live – they are quite unenthusiastic in making friends with me (maybe they think I am an “old fogey”)

My old friends (Navy Buddies, School/College Classmates and Relatives) – they all live far away in Pune City or in the “Military Veterans’ Ghetto” on the other side of town – and it is not possible for me to interact with them frequently – since I live in the distant suburb of Wakad – which was one of the affordable places within my budget where I could buy a house after retirement.

In a nutshell – I have “nothing to look forward to” – in these three aspects of my life (professional/familial/social)

So – from the “work/social/family” points of view – I feel useless and unwanted.

Once you have “nothing to look forward to” in your life – you sink into the abyss of depression.

I told you that I am on the “verge of depression”.

So – what is holding me from sinking into depression…?

Three things:

1. My Writing/Blogging

3. My Passion for Food

3. My “Online Life”

Yes – Dear Reader – My Writing/Blogging, My Passion for Food and My “Online Life” – these are the three things that I “look forward to” – which are saving me from depression.

I look forward to writing and blogging.

I look forward to eating exciting food.

I look forward to my daily interactions with my “online friends” on the social media.

(Yes – after retirement – I have made many “online friends” – and – they are the only friends I can “interact” with regularly – in fact – without my “online friends” – I would have become a total “recluse” and cut off from the world)

You can avoid depression as long as you have something to “look forward to” in your life.

This is my experience.

Dear Reader – Do you agree…? 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
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Disclaimer:

1. These are my personal views based on my personal experience. Please do your own due diligence while selecting a philosophy of life.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

The “Married” Bachelor

THE “MARRIED” BACHELOR

A Fictional Spoof

By

VIKRAM KARVE

If you go to a Defence Officers’ Mess (or a Navy Wardroom) – you will find two types of “single” officers:

1. Unmarried Bachelors 

2. Married Bachelors 

Unmarried Bachelors comprise officers who have never married – or are divorced/widowed.

“Married Bachelors” are of two types:

1. “Permanent” Married Bachelors 

Permanent Married Bachelors comprise “in living” officers who are married but are staying away from their wives for some reason like wife’s career, children’s education, marital discord etc. 

Permanent Married Bachelors reside as “single” officers in the Officers’ Mess/Wardroom.

2. “Temporary” Married Bachelors 

“Temporary” Married Bachelors are Married officers who temporarily dine in the Officers’ Mess/Wardroom because their wives have gone on a vacation/holiday or their wives are away at their hometown/mother’s place for confinement/delivery of a baby or for some ‘back-home-type’ family occasion/commitment.

Long ago – around 40 years ago – when I was an unmarried bachelor – I once met an inimitable character – a rather peculiar type of “Temporary Married Bachelor”. 

THE CURIOUS “MARRIED BACHELOR”

Yes – the story I am going to tell you is about a rather curious married bachelor I met long back in the Navy.

Let us call him “X”.

This anecdote happened around 40 years ago – when I was a carefree unmarried bachelor – and I lived in a wonderful officers’ mess with some delightful messmates – most of whom were also “unmarried bachelors” like me.

Now “X” was quite senior to us – and “X” was very much married.

Though “X” was married – he spent every evening with us unmarried bachelors in the officers’ mess.

“X” would arrive in the mess punctually at 7 o’clock in the evening.

“X” would play billiards with us – then he would come to the officers’ mess bar – and he would drink with us till closing time – late into the night.

After enjoying the entire evening with us bachelors at the officers’ mess – “X” would go home to his wife – almost at midnight.

This was his routine every evening.

We felt sad for his wife.

Yes – we felt pity for X’s wife – because of the terribly shoddy manner in which“X” treated her.

“X” was indeed a “misogynist” husband.

“X” took his docile wife for granted.

“X” went out every night to have a good time with the “boys” – while his hapless wife had to spend her lonely evenings at home.

Every evening his devoted wife would dutifully wait for her husband “X” to come back around midnight to have dinner.

This routine went on for months. 

MELANCHOLIC “MARRIED BACHELOR”

Then – suddenly – without any warning – one evening – our friend “X” did not turn up at officers’ mess. 

We missed “X” during the evening. 

We thought he was probably unwell.

But when he did not come to officers’ mess for three successive evenings – we decided to go to his house and see if things were okay.

When we reached his home – we were taken aback to see “X” sitting all alone in the darkness.

In his hand “X” was nursing a drink – which he did not seem to be enjoying.

“X” seemed to be in a state of melancholy.

We were puzzled by his strange behaviour – so – we asked “X” what was the matter with him – why was he sitting all alone in the darkness in such a sad mood.

We asked him why he had not come to the officers’ mess in the evenings – as per his usual routine – for the past three days.

“X” simply said that his wife had gone to her mother’s place for a few days – and – he was feeling lonely and miserable.

It was evident that “X” was badly missing his wife.

“If you are feeling lonely and miserable because your wife has gone away – that is all the more reason you should come to the officers’ mess...” we said.

We asked “X” to come with us to the officers’ mess and cheer up.

We told “X” that – since he was feeling lonely – it would be good for him to spend some time with us in the officers’ mess.

We urged him to come with us to the officers’ mess – as spending some time in our company – playing billiards – and enjoying a few drinks – would surely raise his spirits – and this would help him forget his loneliness and cheer him up.

Surprisingly – “X” refused to come to the officers’ mess with us.

“X” sullenly told us that he was not in the mood – and that he wanted to be left alone.

So – we left him alone at his home – to “mope and grope” – to “moan and groan” – and to wallow in his loneliness.

For many days – “X” did not come to the officers’ mess. 

HAPPY “MARRIED BACHELOR” 

Then – suddenly – one evening – we found “X” entering the officers’ mess promptly at 7 o’clock in the evening.

There was a spring in his step – and “X” seemed to be full of good cheer.

“My wife has come back...” he said happily.

“X” looked delighted and he was full of good cheer.

It was evident that he was very happy that his wife had returned back to him.

And then – like earlier days – “X” thoroughly enjoyed the evening with us in the officers’ mess.

Then – “X” staggered back home happily drunk at midnight.

For “X” – it was back to the good old days.

Every evening – the “happily married bachelor” “X” would arrive at the officers’ mess punctually at 7 PM – and spend his time with us unmarried bachelors – enjoying himself thoroughly till midnight – and then – swaying in “high spirits” – he would go back home to his beloved wife.

Strange but true – the moment his wife returned – “X” was back to his old “married bachelor” ways.

Yes – once his wife was back  – every evening – punctually at 7 PM – “X” was seen in the evening at the officers’ mess – enjoying himself thoroughly till midnight.

We were puzzled by his strange behaviour.

When his wife was present – “X” seemed to be bored of his married life – so he left his wife behind at home – and he went out to the officers’ mess to enjoy a good time with the “boys”.

But – when his wife went away – “X” was filled with misery and despair – and he spent his time brooding alone at home in lonely melancholy – longing for his wife to come back.

And – the moment his wife returned back to him – “X” was back to his old ways – leaving his wife all alone at home – while he went off to enjoy his evening at the officers’ mess with us bachelor boys. 

MARRIAGE IS A MYSTERY – MARRIAGE IS AN ENIGMA

At that time – I was perplexed at the strange behaviour of “X” 

I never understood this amusing paradox of his marital relationship.

When his wife was away – the husband stayed at home – gloomy and melancholic – and he refused to come with us to the officers mess’.

But – when his wife was at home – the husband would come out of his home – and he would happily spend his evenings in “high spirits” with us in the officers mess’ – leaving his wife all alone at home.

But – soon – I got married.

And – over the years – as I became “much married” – I slowly began to fathom such inexplicable mysteries in marriage relationships and realised that marriage is a enigma.

That is why – even after 35 years of married life – I still feel that – marriage is a mystery – an enigma – and – every marital relationship is unique in its own way. 

Once I was married – I began to understand the “curious” behaviour of the inimitable and unforgettable “married bachelor” “X” 

After marriage – I often found myself in similar “Temporary Married Bachelor” situations – whenever my wife went away to her mother’s place for a few days – and you would find me sitting at home all alone – gloomy – feeling “sad” – missing my wife – “moping and groping” – in lonely melancholy – yearning for my darling wife.

And – the moment my wife came back – I was so filled with happiness – that – I would immediately wear my walking shoes – and – with a smile on my lips – and – a spring in my step – I would step out for an enjoyable walk all by myself – leaving my darling wife all alone to “hold the fort” at home. 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

This is a revised updated version of my story written by me Vikram Karve in the year 2010 and earlier posted online by me in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog on Tuesday, August 13, 2013 - Posted by Vikram Karve at 8/13/2013 11:51:00 AM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/08/the-misogynist-husband-and-mystery-of.html and re-posted at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/03/humor-in-uniform-bachelor-boy-story-of.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/the-much-married-bachelor.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/are-you-married-bachelor.html and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/07/the-happily-married-bachelor.html

Depression : Talk to Me – I want to Talk to You

DEPRESSION

TALK TO ME – I WANT TO TALK TO YOU

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE 

DEPRESSION – short story by Vikram Karve 

“Talk to me…” the old man said.

“What is it…?” his wife said.

“I want to talk to you…” he said.

“Please – don’t spoil my mood in the morning – I am getting late for work...” she said.

“But I want to talk to you...” he said.

“Okay – what is it…?” she said, irritably.

“I am feeling depressed…” he said.

“Not again...!!! Stop complaining all the time that you are “depressed”  – “your problem is that you have no problems” – you sit at home all day doing nothing – an empty mind is the devil’s workshop – why don’t you take up that job they are offering you…?” she said.

“I don’t want to do that job – I don’t want to do any job – I was a full Colonel in the Army – a senior officer with rank and status – and just see the type of humiliating jobs they are offering me…” he said.

“You don’t want to do a job – you don’t want to sit at home. Tell me – what do you want me to do…?” she said.

“Talk to me…” the old man said to his wife.

“Not now – I am already late – please let me go to work…” his wife said.

And soon – the old man’s wife left for work.

The old man picked up his mobile cell-phone and called up his son.

“Talk to me…” the old man said to his son.

“Dad – are you crazy – do you know what time it is out here…?” the old man’s son said from New York, “it is almost midnight – you have woken me up from my sleep…”

“But – I want to talk to you…” the old man said.

“Please Dad – I have had a very hard day – I am extremely tired and I want to sleep – I will call you when I wake up in the morning – after 7 hours…” the old man’s son said – and he disconnected the phone.

The old man called up his daughter – who lived in Australia.

His daughter was in her office. 

It was a busy afternoon – and she was about to go for an important meeting.

Suddenly – her mobile cellphone started ringing. 

She was surprised to see that her father was calling from India.

“Yes, Dad…?” the old man’s daughter said, impatiently. 

“Talk to me…” the old man said to his daughter. 

“What...? Dad – are you okay…?” the old man’s daughter said.

“I want to talk to you…” the old man said.

“Not now, Dad – I am really very busy in office – I am on my way to a meeting – I will call you after a few hours – when I get home in the evening…” the old man’s daughter said.

The old man’s daughter disconnected the call – she put her smartphone on “silent” mode. 

Then – she hurried for the meeting.

The old man sat all alone in his house – feeling terrible.

Earlier – he would talk to his pet dog – but now – even his pet dog was dead and gone to his heavenly abode.

The old man called up his ex-Army buddy – but found his mobile phone “switched off”.

Maybe – his ex-Army buddy was lecturing in the Business School where he went quite often to deliver lectures.

The old man called up another ex-Army buddy – a coursemate – but his mobile phone was “out of coverage area”.

Maybe – his coursemate was playing golf.

The old man felt miserable. 

Gloomy thoughts perambulated in his mind. 

Despondency overwhelmed him – and this pushed him further into deep depression.

The old man desperately wanted to talk to someone and unburden himself of his woes.

As a last resort – the old man decided to talk to his nephew – who was a psychiatrist.

The old man dialled the psychiatrist’s mobile number. 

No one picked up – but – in response – the old man received an SMS asking him to call a landline number.

The old man dialled the landline number.

A lady – probably a receptionist at his nephew’s clinic – she picked up the phone.

“I want to talk to Dr. “X” …” the old man said.

“Are you an existing patient…?” the receptionist said.

“No – I am his uncle – I want to talk to him urgently…” the old man said.

“Sir – I will give you an appointment in the evening…” the receptionist said.

“Not in the evening – I want to talk to him right now…” the old man said.

“Sorry Sir – Dr. “X” does not see any patients in the morning…” the receptionist said.

“I am his bloody uncle…!!! I want to talk to him right now…!!! Do you understand…?” the old man shouted.

“Please, Sir – Dr. “X” is conducting the weekly clinical update now – and he has told us that he is not to be disturbed – why don’t you come in the evening, Sir – I will give you an appointment at 6 PM – that is the only slot available today – please tell me your name, Sir…” the receptionist said.

“I told you that I want to talk to him right now…” the old man yelled.

The receptionist disconnected the phone. 

The old man could bear it no longer.

The old man got out of his flat – he entered the lift – and – he went down to the ground floor.

The old man desperately wanted to talk to someone. 

But – everyone seemed busy.

Even the security staff at the gate looked busy – the guards were busy checking visitors and vehicles – and the supervisor was making entries in registers.

The old man walked to the security supervisor and said: “Give me the terrace key…”

“Why do you want it, Sir…” the supervisor asked the old man.

“I want to jump from the terrace and commit suicide…” the old man said.

The supervisor thought that the old man was being sarcastic. 

“Sir…?”

“Come on – give me the terrace key…” the old man shouted at the supervisor.

The supervisor thought that – maybe – the old man wanted the terrace key to adjust his DTH TV Antenna – which he had done a few days ago.

So – the security supervisor gave the old man the terrace key – and he made an entry in his register. 

The old man took the terrace key – signed the register – and walked towards the lift.

As he saw the old man enter the lift – the supervisor remembered the old man’s words: 

“I want to jump from the terrace and commit suicide…”.

The supervisor wondered why the old man was being so sarcastic.

But – the old man wasn’t being sarcastic.

The old man had meant every word of what he had said.

Yes – the old man had meant every word of what he had said.

The old man went up to the terrace of the high-rise building.

Then – the old man jumped off the terrace.

The old man’s body hurtled down 150 feet onto the road below.

The old man died instantly – the moment he hit the concrete road below.

EPILOGUE

A few days later – they held a condolence meeting for the old man.

While condoling the sad demise of the old man – someone said: 

“It is a mystery why the old man committed suicide...” 

“It is really sad – why did he commit suicide and end his life – he had absolutely no problems...” someone else said.

“Yes – he had no problems...” another person said, “and even if the old man did have some problems – he should have talked to someone…”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

This is a revised re-post of my story TALK TO ME which I wrote in the year 2015 and posted online by me earlier in my academic and creative writing journal at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/12/talk-to-me.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/01/talk-to-me-i-want-to-talk-to-you.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/05/talk-to-me-i-want-to-talk-to-you.html