Self-Help Wisdom : The Disease to Please aka “Log Kya Kahenge” Syndrome

SELF HELP WISDOM 

THE DISEASE TO PLEASE aka “LOG KYA KAHENGE” SYNDROME
Wit and WisdomMusings
By
VIKRAM KARVE

LOG KYA KAHENGE SYNDROME

Do you want to be happy?

If your answer is YES – then get rid of the “Log Kya Kahenge” Syndrome 

Do you suffer from the Disease to Please...?

Before every action – do you worry about what others will think about your action (लोग क्या कहेंगे?)

Your happiness will be in your control and it will not depend on the approval of others.

कुछ तो लोग कहेंगे – लोगों का काम है कहना 

Kuch to log kahenge – logon ka kam hai kehna

If you want to be happy – you must always try and ensure that you live your life in such a way that your happiness is dependent upon things in your control. 

If you live in such a way that your happiness is dependent upon things beyond your control – you will be a puppet in the hands of other people – a slave to external circumstances – and you will have to dance to the tune of outside entities.

Similarly – if you are obsessed with seeking approval of others – and if you are always worried about pleasing others – or –  if you succumb to peer pressure – then your actions will be guided by what other people would think or say – and you will fall victim to the “LOG KYA KAHENGE” syndrome. 

Close your eyes for a moment – introspect – and ask yourself whether you are suffering from The Disease to Please

If your answer is YES – then it is high time you read this inimitable Mulla Nasrudin Story.

MULLA NASRUDIN, HIS SON AND HIS DONKEY

(A “Wit and Wisdom” Story)

Mulla Nasrudin and his son were travelling with their donkey.

Nasrudin preferred to walk – while his son sat on the donkey.

Soon they passed a group of bystanders – and one of them scoffed:

“Look at that selfish boy. The hale-and–hearty young son is riding on the donkey while his poor old father is forced to walk alongside. What disgraceful behaviour? And it is so disrespectful. What a horrible and spoiled child!”

Mulla Nasrudin and his son felt very embarrassed by these comments.

So – they quickly switched places.

Now Mulla Nasrudin rode on the donkey while his son walked alongside.

Soon – they passed another group of people. 

One of them pointed towards Mulla Nasrudin – and exclaimed sarcastically:

“Oh – just look at that – what detestable behaviour...! That poor young boy has to walk – while his shameless father rides the donkey. That horrible man should be ashamed of himself – for the cruel way in which he is treating his son. What a heartless father...! It is appalling...!”

Nasrudin was extremely upset to hear this. 

He wanted to avoid anybody else’s scorn.

So – Nasrudin decided that both he and his son would ride the donkey at the same time.

Hence – Mulla Nasrudin asked his son to sit along with him on the donkey.

As they both rode on the donkey – they passed another group of people. 

One bystander remarked: 

“That man and his son are so cruel. Just look at how they are forcing that poor donkey to bear the weight of two people. They have no consideration for the hapless mute animal. Cruel merciless scoundrels – that’s what they are...!”

Nasrudin heard this and he told his son:

 “I guess the only way we can avoid the criticism of others is for both of us to get down and walk.”

“I suppose you are right,” the son replied.

So they got off the donkey – and – both of them – father and son – started walking on foot – with their donkey walking alongside them.

But as Mulla Nasrudin and his son passed another group of people – they heard them laughing and jeering:

“Ha – Ha – Ha...! Look at those two fools. They are so stupid that both of them are walking under this scorching hot sun – and neither of them is riding the donkey…! Have you ever seen such stupid idiots…? What morons…!”

Whatever Mulla Nasrudin and his son did – someone or the other found fault with it – and made fun of them – and the criticism and comments of people continued forever – iterating and reiterating.

In the end – the exasperated Mulla Nasrudin and his son were finally seen carrying the donkey on their own heads.

And – on seeing this hilarious sight of two persons carrying a donkey on their heads – everyone laughed, jeered and mocked at Mulla Nasrudin and his Son – as they watched the father-son duo carry the donkey on their head…!

MORAL OF THE STORY

The next time you are overcome by the disease to please – and you feel governed by a desire to seek approval of others for something you want to do – and if you feel like pleasing others to the detriment of your own needs – just remember this Mulla Nasrudin story.

Whenever you do something there will be 3 types of reactions:

1. Some people will PRAISE your actions

2. Some people will CRITICIZE your actions

3. Some people will IGNORE your actions

While it is good to take feedback – you must not be swayed by the opinions of other people – because a time may come when your actions will be governed by what other people think – and you will fall victim to the “disease to please”.

Therefore – rather than get swayed by what other people say – it is best to act accordance with your own conscience – and do what you feel is best.

Listen to your inner voice – seek your own approval – and – act in accordance with your own conscience

Close your eyes – reflect – and think of instances when you were overcome by the Disease to Please – or – Peer Pressure – or – the Need to Conform. 

When you do something – do you always worry about  “Log Kya Kahenge ... लोग क्या कहेंगे ?”

Why do you succumb to peer pressure? 

Why do you try to conform? 

Why do you crave for the approval of others?

Remember the lyrics of that meaningful song from the movie Amar Prem:

कुछ तो लोग कहेंगे – लोगों का काम है कहना 

Kuch to log kahenge – logon ka kam hai kehna

MORAL OF THE STORY

So – the next time you feel “Peer Pressure” or symptoms of the “Disease to Please” – remember this story – and – most important – the Moral of the Story:

Never worry about what others will think or say. 

Do not succumb to Peer Pressure. 

Do not fall victim to the Disease to Please. 

Do not try to conform or seek the approval of anyone and everyone.

Seek your own approval – that is the approval that matters the most. 

Listen to your inner voice – and do what you think is right – and you will be happy.

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Updated version of my self help article and story written many years ago and earlier posted online by me in my creative writing blogs at urls: http://creative.sulekha.com/log-kya-kahenge-syndrome-the-disease-to-please_84444_blog  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/07/do-you-suffer-from-disease-to-please.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2009/10/approval.html  and  http://creative.sulekha.com/the-log-kya-kahenge-syndrome_483440_blog  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/08/are-you-victim-of-disease-to-please.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/11/pleasing-others-seeking-approval-peer.html etc