Monday, December 16, 2013

PRAISOPHOBIA - FEAR OF PRAISE - HUMOR IN MARRIAGE

HUMOR IN MARRIAGE

On request of a friend, here is an updated and abridged version of a blog post I wrote around 9 months ago

PRAISOPHOBIA
(Not to be confused with Prosophobia - the fear of progress)
By
VIKRAM KARVE


PRAISOPHOBIA – MEANING AND DEFINITION

I have coined a new term – “PRAISOPHOBIA”

Praisophobia is the Fear of Praise.

Praisophobia is the fear that if you praise someone then the person’s behaviour may change for the worse 

Or if you praise something, then something adverse may happen

Praisophobia is not to be confused with Prosophobia which means fear of progress


PRAISOPHOBIA IN ACTION

Let me give you an example of PRAISOPHOBIA.

Twenty years ago, if you asked my wife what was the worst thing she did not like about me, she would unhesitatingly say that she hated my drinking habit.

Yes, I must confess that I indeed loved to drink.

I had my first drink after I joined the Navy in the 1970’s.

I started enjoying drinking alcohol in earnest on my first ship where the wardroom bar was well stocked with the choicest varieties of alcoholic beverages – wines, spirits, liquors, liqueurs, beers – you name it and the drink was available. 

Those days drinking was quite affordable since the booze was duty-free on ships.

I sampled and tasted everything and after experiencing all varieties and types of alcoholic drinks I discovered that I liked two brands:

1. a Blended Scotch Whisky called Chivas Regal (which I drank on board)

and

2. an Indian Dark Rum called Hercules XXX Rum (which I drank ashore). 

We did not get duty-free liquor ashore and after developing a taste for Scotch Whisky I found the Indian Whiskies of those days quite raw, coarse and rough for my palate.

In contrast, Indian Dark Rum was probably the best in the world and famous brands Indian Rum like Hercules, Sea Pirate and Old Monk were particularly good and mellow.

Hey, I am digressing, so let me get to the point.

As I told you, my wife hated my drinking.

In contrast, I loved drinking so much that I used to eagerly wait for sunset so that I could pour my first peg of the day.

(As a rule I avoided drinking in daytime since I did not enjoy it)

I drank quite regularly, almost every day, and I am sure my wife was very worried that I may become an alcoholic.

My wife religiously fasted on Mondays and I am sure she prayed to God that I should stop drinking alcohol.

Probably, my regular drinking was the biggest problem in her married life.

Then, all of a sudden, one day I stopped drinking.

Yes, I quit drinking alcohol forever.

This happened more than 10 years ago and since then I have remained a teetotaller.

I thought that my wife would be delighted that I had stopped drinking.

I thought that my wife would be filled with joy that her prayers had been answered.

I expected that my wife would be happy and grateful that her alcohol loving husband had turned a new leaf and was living a life of temperance and sobriety.

In fact, I thought that she would be full of praise for me. 

However, since the day I quit drinking, my wife has never praised me even once for having the resolve and willpower to free myself from the clutches of alcohol which I loved so dearly.

In my opinion, for an alcohol lover like me to have given up drinking was a commendable act deserving of the highest praise, especially from my wife who hated my drinking habit.

Yet, my wife has never uttered a word of praise for my good deed, either in private or in public.

The reason – PRAISOPHOBIA

My wife is afraid. 

My wife feels that if she praises me then I may start drinking again.

So Dear Reader, the moral of the story is this:

If you do a praiseworthy deed and someone does not praise you then please do not get disappointed and do not think that those persons are unappreciative.

Maybe they suffer from Praisophobia

Think about it. 

Do you suffer from Praisophobia? 

Is your spouse afflicted by praisophobia?

Or do you know someone who is praisophobic?

Do tell us your experiences with praisophobia and other such crazy phobias you have come across in your life.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this book review. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
NB:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
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