Friday, August 31, 2012

HUMOUR IN UNIFORM - PEACETIME SOLDIERING - The ACR Dinner

HUMOR IN UNIFORM

THE ACR DINNER
A Pongo Style Naval Yarn
Short Fiction Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

ACR – acronym for ANNUAL CONFIDENTIAL REPORT

Disclaimer: Please read this only if you have a sense of humour. This is a spoof. So first convince yourself that you have a sense of humour and only then read the yarn and have a laugh.

This happened sometime in the 1980s.

I happened to walk into the office of one of my Pongo colleagues for some work.

I saw a total of six Pongos, including my colleague, sitting around the table engaged in an animated discussion, so  I excused myself and told my colleague that I would come later.

“No, No, please come in,” my friend said, “in fact you can help us solve our problem.”

“Problem?” I asked.

“Yes, its about the ACR dinner,” he said.

“ACR Dinner?” I asked perplexed.

“You don’t have this in the Navy?” they all asked.

“Well, at least I have not heard of it,” I said.

“Our ACRs are due to be written in a month,” my colleague said, “and all of us are expected to invite our boss and his wife for dinner – and of course all the other officers and lady wives are invited.”

“Are you telling me that your performance appraisal will be done based on a dinner?” I asked, genuinely baffled.

“Well, I really don’t know, but then these are the hazards of peacetime soldiering,” commented my friend, who was a battle-hardened soldier, looking at me wistfully.

“Anyway, what do you want me to do?” I asked.

“Pick lots,” they all said.

“Pick lots?” I asked, totally at a loss.

“Yes,” my friend explained, “we have to decide the sequence of the ACR dinners. You know about the halo effect, don’t you? There is a big advantage in giving the dinner last, just before the ACR date.”

“Sometimes it is good to host the first dinner too – the first dinner sets the standard, and is also remembered,” said another Pongo sitting in the room.

So I did the honours and picked the chits and the ACR dinner dates were decided.

Of course, my wife and I, were invited to all the ACR dinners.       
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and he is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com        

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

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