WEDDING versus MARRIAGE
By
VIKRAM KARVE
A Wedding is an Event that gets over in a day or two. It is
a Public Ceremony, a Celebration, that involves a number of people. A wedding
culminates in a marriage.
A Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It is a Private Relationship between
husband and wife. Marriage is a long term union, a bond of loyalty, fidelity,
faithfulness, friendship and companionship. Marriage is not a mere event, it is
a journey of life.
I find it
intriguing that many people focus more
on the wedding than on the marriage.
Parents and
relatives expend huge resources and put in maximum efforts towards planning and
executing the wedding ceremony.
Many have extravagant weddings, and some spend
money beyond their means, because they consider a wedding as a status symbol.
The
celebrations are sometimes so elaborate and the festivities are on such a large
scale that Wedding Planners have to be employed in order to plan, conduct and ensure
a Grand Wedding.
Even the bride
and groom focus all their attention on the wedding ceremonies and elaborately
plan all aspects to the last detail – venue, clothes, makeover, decoration, guest
lists, what they are going to wear and how they are going to participate in
various social and religious ceremonies like Mehendi, Sangeet, Wedding,
Reception and Honeymoon. ( I have seen the bride and groom rehearsing with
choreographers for dancing in the sangeet and wedding planners for the other
events).
The honeymoon
to an exotic location is planned well in advance.
The honeymoon
is the interregnum between the wedding and the marriage.
Once the
honeymoon is over the marriage begins.
Others can
plan a successful and lavish wedding for you, but you (husband and wife) have
to make your own marriage successful.
There is a
saying that sometimes a Grand Wedding
leads to a Poor Marriage.
I write this
for the young couple who are about to get married. They seem to be all gaga and
excited about the wedding, the venues, the ceremonies and rituals they are
going to have, the clothes they are going to wear, the food they are going to
serve, the guest list, the gifts, the grand reception, and of course, the
honeymoon. I wish they spare a thought
for what is going to happen once the honeymoon is over.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
4 comments:
It is funny how we expend so much energy & precious resources on a charade & forget the kernal---a true mirror of our times.No wonder divorce cases are multiplying.
@ Indu - yes, you are right about forgetting the kernel - why is everyone so ostentatious and status conscious that they do not pay attention to the real issues?
Try and I believe these expenses are useless! For Example, the amount that was spent on weddings around me and including my own, I could have easily made a huge house for myself and have 100s of dogs there or sponsor somebody's education.
But in this whole thing, there is also a situation like mine - where the couple knows what they want, they understand marriage is a journey, but the elders involved don't listen to anything about the possibility of a 'no expense' wedding. What to do in such situations. No amount of convincing or talking or even 'dhamki' works.
@ Ruchi - that's the practical versus the sentimental problem, and as always, sentiment wins...!!! LOL
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