IS DAUGHTER’S MARRIAGE A “FINANCIAL GOAL”

IS DAUGHTER’S MARRIAGE A “FINANCIAL GOAL” ?

Musings of a Veteran

By

VIKRAM KARVE

This morning – in ‘The Times of India’ – I read an article on Financial Planning titled: “FAILING TO PLAN IS PLANNING TO FAIL”.

[Reference: The Times of India (Pune Edition) Tuesday, April 7, 2015, Page 11 – Article Titled: “Failing to plan is planning to fail” by Sanjeev Govila, CEO, Hum Fauji Initiatives]

It is a good article which illustrates the advantages of financial planning to meet future goals.

By way of illustrative example – there is a Table with a heading: COMPARATIVE SAVINGS – which lists three FINANCIAL GOALS:

1. CHILD’S HIGHER EDUCATION

2. OWN HOUSE

3. DAUGHTER’S MARRIAGE

The first two examples are fine.

But why is “Daughter’s Marriage” considered as a “Financial Goal”?

What about “Son’s Marriage”?

If “Daughter’s Marriage” is a financial goal – then shouldn’t “Son’s Marriage” also be a financial goal?

The fact that “Daughter’s Marriage” is considered a “Financial Goal” indicates that nothing much has changed in our society as far “patriarchal mindset” is concerned – despite all the tall claims about “gender equality” in our “progressive” culture.

Please notice that the ‘Financial Goal’ at Serial No. 1 in the list: “Child’s Higher Education” is “gender neutral” – it says “Child’s Higher Education” – and not “Son’s Higher Education” or “Daughter’s Higher Education”.

Accordingly – shouldn’t the financial goal at Serial No. 3 of the list be written in a ‘gender neutral’ manner as “Child’s Marriage” instead of “Daughter’s Marriage”?

If there is no discrimination between sons and daughters in education – then why this discrimination in marriage?

Of course – the basic issue is that – in today’s modern world – where children (both sons and daughters) pursue careers and are financially independent – why should parents spend on their children’s marriages at all?

In today’s progressive society – is children’s marriage a financial responsibility of parents?

But despite this – suppose some parents decide to spend lavishly on their children’s marriages – then why should they spend on their daughters’ marriages alone?

Is it not unfair to their sons?

Why not spend equally on their sons’ marriages?

If we want to make our society progressive – is it desirable to endorse retrograde financial goals like “daughter’s marriage”?

However – if you insist on doing so – then will it not be better to specify the ‘Financial Goal’ at Serial No. 3 of the abovementioned list in a ‘gender neutral’ manner as “Child’s Marriage” instead of “Daughter’s Marriage”?

Do you agree?

VIKRAM KARVE

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All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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WOMEN IN THE NAVY (AND DEFENCE SERVICES) - Gender Equality is a Distant Dream

WOMEN IN THE NAVY (AND DEFENCE SERVICES)

Gender Equality is a Distant Dream

Musings of Retired Military Veteran

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Women Officers have been in the Indian Navy for 25 years now - enough time for “settling down”, “acclimatization”, “gender integration” etc.

It is high time women officers are given permanent commission and inducted in all branches of the Indian Navy and deployed on ships, submarines and all aircraft and made to undergo the same training and duties as their male counterparts.

All duties (at sea and ashore) should be “gender neutral” and there must be absolutely no difference in duties and service conditions between men and women officers.

Till that happens – inducting women in the Navy will be perceived to be an act of “tokenism” – trying to be “politically correct” – and as a “gender welfare” measure".

All modern Navies have women officers and sailors sailing on ships on sea and on air combat duties.

Last week I saw on TV – a program on a US Navy aircraft carrier – showing interviews with women officers/sailors on USS Carl Vinson.

Almost 30% of crew is women – there are more than 800 women officers/sailors on board the warship – and the aircraft carrier is deployed on operational duties.

There was a Lieutenant Woman Navy Fighter Pilot deployed on dangerous frontline combat missions carrying out air strikes against ISIS.

Another woman Commander who was commanding a Minesweeper, employed on hazardous minesweeping duties, was also interviewed.

Both women naval officers were married, had children, and were away from their families for over 2 years.

Many women sailors from various branches were also interviewed – and one could see that there was absolutely no difference between men and women as far as duties were concerned – yes – all jobs on board the ships were “gender neutral”.

The fact that all jobs (including frontline combat duties) were “gender neutral” indicated genuine “gender equality”.

Yes – after viewing the program on USS Carl Vinson – one was convinced that there was true “gender equality” in the US Navy.

Why don’t we have a similar situation the Indian Navy?

Unfortunately – in the Indian Navy – though women officers may be willing for seagoing combat duties on warships – will the “patriarchal” Admirals steeped in the “old mould” allow them to do so?

It is probably the same state of affairs in the other defence services too – women are willing to join all arms/services (including combat arms) – women are willing to undergo the same tough training and hardships as male officers – and women are mentally ready to perform hazardous frontline combat duties – but Generals with antiquated attitudes and old-fashioned mindsets will not allow women officers to demonstrate their full military potential by giving them the same opportunities as their male counterparts.

The Proof of the Pudding is the Eating.

Instead of imagining fictitious “worst case” scenarios and making all sorts of hypothetical assumptions – the Navy Top Brass should deploy women officers on sea duties on warships, submarines and seaborne aircraft – and see what happens.

Military Top Brass should do the same and deploy women officers on full-scale combat duties and Counterinsurgency/Internal Security Operations – and then see the actual performance of women officers on ground.

Why are Military Top Brass underestimating Indian Women and assuming that Indian Women are not fit for Combat Duties without giving them a chance to prove themselves – at sea, in air and on the battlefield.

Also – let’s see when Indian Armed Forces start inducting women as soldiers, sailors and airwomen.

If US Navy can have women sailors on ships – why can’t the Indian Navy?

Till both these things happen – as far as “gender equality” in the Navy (and defence services) is concerned – India will remain backward and way behind most modern developed nations.

Gender Equality in the Indian Navy (and Indian Armed Forces) is a distant dream.

FOREIGN INDIAN versus RESIDENT INDIAN

FOREIGN INDIAN versus RESIDENT INDIAN

We still haven’t got over the colonial hangover of “Foreign Returned”.

And this fascination is now showered on “Foreign Indians” too.

That is why there is no point in being a “Resident Indian”.

It is better to be “Foreign Indian” like an NRI (Non Resident Indian) or a PIO (Person of Indian Origin) than a “Resident Indian”.

You will get more respect and privileges from everyone here, including the government, if you are a PIO or NRI than if you are a Resident Indian.

For example, have a look at the Republic Day Civilian Honours List for the past few years.

You will notice that there are a large number of PIO and NRI names who have been awarded by the Government.

Of these, there are many who work for Multi National Companies (MNC) and firms, financial institutions and investment banks, some are innovative entrepreneurs or distinguished academicians and some run successful businesses abroad.

But they all live and work abroad and many have foreign passports and have taken citizenships of that country.

Yet, they are mollycoddled and favoured by the Indian government, even though they are no longer Indian Citizens.

Yes, they may have been successful in their careers and they may have earned a lot of money for themselves and their organizations.

Whatever they have achieved they have achieved abroad for the benefit of the country they live in (or for the organization they work for) and, of course, they may have personally benefited too.

But one wonders what is their contribution to India.

They may have done something for the country they live in. 

But what have they done for India?

They surely may deserve an award from the country they live in or from organization they work for.

But why is India awarding them for doing something which is of no benefit to India.

It is Strange but True.

Whereas, on the one hand, we pamper “Foreign Indians” who have abandoned India to seek greener pastures abroad and realize the foreign dream; while on the other hand we neglect patriotic Indian Citizens who have chosen to stay back and contribute their bit for the benefit of the nation. 

Why do we display favouritism towards “Foreigner Indians” while treating “Indian Indians” with indifference?

Even in a family, a NRI or PIO “Foreign Indian” is admired while the “Indian Indian” is taken for granted.

You see so many parents talking in glowing terms of their children who are abroad whereas they don’t have even a word of praise for their kids who have stayed back in India.

I have seen a farcical situation where the mother’s favourite blue eyed boy was the younger son who had settled in America and she took for granted her elder son who had stayed back in India and who was looking after her in her old age.

If you want respect, status and good treatment in India, it is better to be a Non Resident Indian (NRI) or PIO rather than be a Resident Indian.

Maybe because in Indian Culture we say: Atithi Devo Bhavah (Sanskrit: अतिथि देवो भवः) which means “Guest is God”.

Now, like all foreigners, NRIs and PIOs are our “guests” in India and so as “guests” they must be treated better than the “host” Resident Indians.

Or maybe this Hindi saying is more relevant: Ghar Ki Murgi Daal Barabar ( घर की मुर्गी दाल बराबर )

Whatever the reason, the fact is that we do have a fascination for the “foreign” tag.  No wonder there is such a craze among the younger generation to go abroad.

HOW TO DEAL WITH VIP CULTURE

HOW TO DEAL WITH VIP CULTURE 

A Mulla Nasrudin Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Nowadays, thanks to the name dropping game and prevalent VIP Culture, everybody wants to be a “somebody” - yes, every individual wants to be a VIP or even a VVIP.  

How does an ordinary citizen (the aam aadmi) deal with this proliferating VIP Culture? 

Maybe this Mulla Nasrudin Story gives us a clue.

Mulla Nasrudin decided to attend a grand reception given by the King to which he had not been invited.

He pompously entered the VIP area and seated himself at the foremost elegant chair. 

The Chief Usher approached Mulla Nasrudin and said: “Sir, this is the VIP enclosure and these places where you are sitting are reserved for Guests of Honour.”

“Oh, I am more than a mere guest,” replied Nasrudin confidently.

“Oh, so are you a diplomat…?”

“Far more than that…” replied Nasrudin haughtily.

“Really…? So you are a Minister, perhaps…?”

“No, bigger than that too….” Nasrudin said pretentiously.

“Oho…! So you must be the King himself, Sir…” said the Chief Usher sarcastically.

“Higher than that…” Nasrudin said ostentatiously.

“What…? Are you higher than the King…? Nobody is higher than the King…!”

“Now you’ve got it right. I am nobody…!” said Mulla Nasrudin.

Dear Reader, think about it. 

What is the moral of the story? 

Why is it that a nobody is higher than a King, higher than all so-called VIPs? 

This is because Real Elevation of the Self comes through the Abandonment of Ego.

That's the message of this story: Just drop your Ego and see how you truly rise. 

Maybe it is best to be a “nobody” rather than a “somebody”, for if you try to be a “somebody” you can always fall, but if you are a “nobody” you will always rise.

Let this wisdom perambulate in your mind and have a nice day.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse - his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

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